A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over this guy (essentially a super attractive "Nazi")?(This is kind of a way for me to vent to gain some clarity, so it will sound a bit like a monologue).I've known this guy only online, for just over 6 months. We separated due to issues I will mention later.The main thing I cannot get over is how good-looking and charismatic he is/was. Surely I can find someone else just as attractive as him? I'm being shallow aren't I. Beauty never lasts, or rather, beauty lasts as long as you possess that inner glow.Mind you, I didn't know what he looked like for about 3 months in. We bonded initially over our interest in art and philosophy. It was a natural part of our conversation on the daily.-- On the other side of the spectrum, the other thing I cannot get over is my hatred towards him, or rather, his views. He is obsessed with the Aryan race. For example, when he was forced to visit two psychiatrists after his suicide attempt, all he recounted to me from the sessions was how "Aryan-looking" and attractive the psychiatrists were. Speaking of his suicide attempt... he is mentally ill and neurotic due to his gastritis, which he developed due to consuming raw milk and raw meat. He has an obsession with eating clean, and living like a hunter-gatherer to an unhealthy degree. He kept probing into my diet and lifestyle and kept covertly advising me on what to eat and how to live, which really frustrated me. I hate how he thinks he is superior because of the way he looks and his ethnicity. I really f***ing hate it. I don't really even know if he was that serious about me since I do not look Aryan. He loved sharing art of Aryan people. I just feel like there's poison in my mind from the words he wrote, I wish I could get rid of this poison Plaguing my thoughts. There are so many things that I associate with him. I hate it. I wish I could see a tree or damned piece of fruit without remembering him. Sigh...He bullied a Chinese person online solely due to being Chinese. He made an alt account to do so as well. He is a pathological alt account creator. It drove me insane. Every few weeks he would message me from a new account. He would constantly delete the messages of his old accounts, in the name of privacy and loop-holing data collection.I hate how he saw the woman as subordinate to the man. This really hurt me the most and still does. He really liked to objectify women. It made me nauseous the way he viewed it.There is more that I dislike about him. Though I have spent too much of my night trying to get over him, trying to rationalise my thoughts. I feel frustrated. It is now 04:00 AM...I hate how critical he was of society. He found everything to criticise, every move a person would make. On online servers, he would constantly disagree with people or give them unsolicited advice that "this is the way you should do xyz".I do not like living in hate and resentment. I just need to let go but I don't know how.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2021): Fascination with deluded and charismatic people are how they recruit people into their cultist and racist ideology.
His good-looks and charm got you hooked; while at the same time you're captivated by his depravity and sickness.
I'm keeping this uncharacteristically short for many reasons.
Women are always drawn to bad-boys. That's how they end-up screwed-up in the head.
You've pretty much flirted with the devil. If you know what's good for you, you had better stop playing with fire.
You need to block and delete this guy from all your social media accounts; and you better learn when you've gotten yourself in way over your head. You don't have the faintest idea whom you're messing with. You are the type and profile these guys troll for. You fit it to a tee. You see all the blazon red-flags and you're drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
The guy is sick, I don't have a clue what you're having so much trouble getting over; when you've practically described a demon!!!
A
female
reader, Alwin  +, writes (13 July 2021):
 Have you really known this guy as in met in person or just talked online? Just from what you're telling it seems like he's into the whole n... thing, which in itself is VERY concerning, as it is a crime in some countries; do you really want to be associated with this kind of person? He sounds really shallow, with lots lots of issues he should be adressing before seeking online relationships and bringing other people into his messy life. Tips to move on. Get tinder, bumble, happen and go meet some new people. Get a hobby, have you tried yoga? I love to do physical things like weighlifting to keep my mind off other things. It really helps and you'll meet other people. Block this person from all your accounts and don't talk to him anymore.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (12 July 2021):
 There is no such thing as the "Aryan" race or a "superior" race.
The SUPER short version is this. It's a historical race concept that emerged in the late 19th century that first covered people from the area around Iran/Southern Europe and parts of Nothern Europe but later morphed into the "Germanic" (aka Scandinavian and parts of Germany/Netherland/Belgium). It implied division of Caucasoids into Aryans, Semites, and Hamites was also based on linguistics initially - NOT racially.
It was PURE bullshit. Even when first thought up. (around 1880s) and definitely, even more bullshit when the Nazy in the late 30's changed the definition to suit their "IDEAL" and new political indoctrination theory.
It was (to put it simply) a way for Hitler's regime to excuse killing people, especially Jewish people. But also to expand and invade other countries and kill people there.
Not only did they take this bullshit theory of Aryans they also took things from various cultures and mythologies, beliefs, and faiths and bastardized them into a "new" version, a mishmash that they "sold" as "truth". Things you see cults do. It was absolute fuckery.
WE ALL KNOW what happened in Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. We ALL know it was NOT good. It was heinous. Humans did BAD stuff to others. Still do.
It wasn't just the one group of people who suffered, it was EVERYONE who came into contact with "that" regime. Women of Occupied Norway (with the "right" Nordic look) were BRED to Nazi fathers in an attempt to alter their genetics. It was basically a eugenics scheme to create a "super race".
Look up Lebensborn.
ALL because a small group of people wanted to be better than others and to have an excuse to kill people.
I'll get off my history lesson crate and talk about your so-called ex.
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You ask HOW to let him go.
You HAVE to accept that HE is not a good match for you. He isn't even a good person. The latter might come down to mental health issues but nonetheless, he is sick body, mind, and soul.
If you think a person can't be handsome or pretty but also an ABSOLUTELY dumpster fire of a human being, you are wrong. THIS guy is definitely one. Handsome/pretty does NOT equate to being a good person too.
Anyone who thinks they are "superior" to others, is just not right in the head or soul.
I would CUT all contact, block all access. and not be on the websites HE frequents. Distance yourself. Make a new email account -move all contact over and then DELETE the old one. If he has your phone number, get a new number.
The major thing, I think you struggle with is the attraction to someone who is so "wrong in all aspects". You talked for 3 months before meeting so you INVESTED in a person you didn't know. You INVENTED a person he really isn't. (in your mind)
The guy you got to know is NOT the person you had thought he would be, or hoped he would be.
The person you thought/hoped he would be doesn't exist. In his place is the REAL person. Someone who is mentally unstable. Someone who has some rather radical notions about people, humanity, and life in general.
In short, you fell for someone who is NOT a good person. Who isn't in a good place in his life. Who might NEVER be in a good place in his life.
If you look at a piece of fruit and he pops into your head, shake him loose, eat the fruit and in time the trash (him) will take itself out of your head.
Time will help you let go. He might pop into your head occasionally later on, maybe as a warning for you to not be shallow, not be naive.
He was a lesson in life. An honestly scary lesson.
Accept that and you will find it easier to let go and move on.
PS. Being critical of society is ok. But thinking you (he) have ALL the solutions is obnoxious. No society is perfect. THAT is a reality too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2021): Stop it.Stop it now.You are being shallow.That not guy has a heart blacker than the depths of hell.I just have no words.He is a hateful person.He loves to hate.Just know if you go with someone like that soon your heart will be black also.Beauty comes within so really this guy is very very ugly.He is also a sociopath...very mentally ill....which can be passed down to any kids he has.This post offends me so much it blows my mind.I do not know him and I already
dislike him.Girl get some therapy so you can learn why you are attracted to pure evil.Go to every appointment.Learn from this.Never ever repeat this.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (12 July 2021):
 So basically all you liked about him were his looks. Are you even sure he used a real photograph of himself? As someone who is attracted to people's personalities rather than their looks, I find your post puzzling.
He sounds like a very screwed up individual. (Reminds me of a more extreme version of someone I dated when I was in my 20s). His looks are nothing to do with him as a person. Nobody can help how they look. It is not an "achievement" to be good looking. His personality, on the other hand, is all down to him. You made an error of judgement about him, based on his looks. Forgive yourself and move on.
I believe the universe sends people into our lives to teach us lessons. Consider the lesson you need to learn from this and move on. If you don't learn the lesson, the universe will repeat it by sending this man back (or someone with similar personality traits). You need to learn that looks are not important. Granted, there needs to be a spark between people if you are going to date but that comes from shared interests and mutual respect, not looks.
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