He went away without me and I feel like I need to even the score
Q. My BF of a year and a half is away for a month. Visiting family in South America. I am not going because I have no $$. He knows this and still went for a month without me. I am hurt and jealous and annoyed. It comes after several rocky months of him ...
A. 26 June 2014: If you want to stay with him and you want a better chance for him to commit, you need to back off of him. Give him space. don't pressure him. Let him have a vacation. Be nice and fun to talk to. Be a girlfriend he wants to commit to, get it? I do ... (read in full...)
I've been involved with a guy from work who also has a girlfriend. Things were great but I feel like he's backing off. How can I keep him interested?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from work for a while, i started there in April and I've had so much fun working with him and flirting away. We get on great! The flirting increased about two months ago and we started sending dirty texts and pics, which ...
A. 22 August 2013: I won't say you shouldn't speak to him or try getting him back or anything negative about you. I will simply answer your question.
The only way you could get him back is to move on. I'm not saying it as a trick or anything, it is just what it ... (read in full...)
Should I contact this girl or continue no contact?
Q. I need advice on whether or not I should contact this girl who I really like but who I closed off all contact after admitting she doesn't want to go further with me after our first date. I met her over a month ago on a dating site and I quickly es...
A. 7 August 2013: There is no salvaging this. She liked you when it was over the phone or online, she did not like you in person. It's harsh but it is the facts as they are. She was all ready for a relationship, as she said prior to meeting you, then after meeting ... (read in full...)
Success stories about people finding love again please!!
Q. Recently I've split up from my boyfriend of 2 years. We loved each other a lot and were inseparable. We spent so much time together and talked a lot about our future (i.e. kids, moving in etc). We were one of those typical love-bubble type of ...
A. 6 August 2013: It is very common to feel that way after a break up. Everyone does. You are scared you will never meet someone who makes you feel that way again, someone who clicks with you the same way, or scared you won't meet anyone in general. We all have fears ... (read in full...)
I want to cut my family out of my life. They are never there for me!
Q. I want to cut my family out of my life. Ive said it before in the past, but this time I want to do it for good. My dad is an emotionally abusive paranoid hypocrite who does not support me in anything I do. My mother is the same she abused me as ...
A. 6 August 2013: Speaking as someone who has cut many people out of her life, it is quite easy. But can be very lonely. I would suggest you see your family differently from now on rather than never speak again. Accept what they are, they aren't close to you or ... (read in full...)
Do guys come back after they've realized that life isn't that great?
Q. advice from any guys on here would be great.. my ex boyfriend has been partying non stop since our breakup a little over a month ago.. i've heard through mutual friends and through social media that he has been going away every weekend, going o...
A. 5 August 2013: Yes, they can. But unless something fundamentally changes with the relationship it will repeat itself all over again. Whether or not your ex will come back no one can say, not even him. It is possible he will be out there partying and miss you and ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex still call 6 years after our break up?
Q. Hi just wanted to know if it is normal for an ex to still call once a week 6 years after a break up. It was a long distance relationship and I was very much in love with her but the distance was something that was very difficult for her. She is ...
A. 5 August 2013: Because she loved you and felt very deeply for you, but for whatever reason the relationship didn't work for her. But because she loved you she wants you to remain in her life in some capacity. Just because the relationship didn't work doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
We break up, make up and then he wants to break up again
Q. Ok my bf of about a year and I have been going thru things. First off he really tried to break up with me ON our 1 year anniversary OVER THE PHONE I could not help but cry and plead for him (which I know was all based on instant emotions). We ...
A. 26 July 2013: He is a cowardly type of person. That's why he tried breaking up over the phone. He felt guilty when you cried so he said he wanted to work on it. He never wanted to stay together. He just can't handle the tears and guilt. He won't be coming back so ... (read in full...)
Do you believe there's someone for everyone?
Q. I think the media hypes love by saying there's someone for everyone, don't give up on love. etc. NOT everyone finds love. I think society just says this to make people who've been hurt feel better, as well as to encourage procreation and sell ...
A. 17 July 2013: I have no doubts that everyone can find someone. If the person isn't trying, mopes around, or is miserable to be around then he may end up alone. But if he wants to find someone and tries to find someone he can.There are far too many undateable ... (read in full...)
Three months and he didn't mention he has kids?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. He is 28 and I am 25. The relationship moved really quickly and I absolutely fell in love with him and him with me. This past weekend, I found out that he has two children he neve...
A. 17 July 2013: You can stay with him. And choose to believe what he tells you because of how you feel towards him. But I'm telling you now and can damn near promise you, this will not end well. This will drag out until you hate each other, if it even makes it that ... (read in full...)
I don't love him any more but can't let him go
Q. i no longer love my boyfriend of 4 years but can't let him go. its driving me crazy as my life feels like its being wasted away before my very eyes. im 27 and fed up to the back teeth of my other half, he is disloyal, untrustworthy and does not res...
A. 16 July 2013: Because you are used to him and comfortable with him and you are afraid to be alone. It's hard to face being alone, especially when the other person is begging you to take them back. Rather than go through the difficulty of moving on, and the ... (read in full...)
Is it that he's too possessive? Or is it more serious? Could it be that he is an abusive partner?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about two years now. We work together in a fast food restaurant and that's basically how we got together. It's weird because when we have good days he's perfect and then a bad day comes along and it's hor...
A. 8 April 2013: In his mind he thinks that asking where you are going and telling you what to wear and do means be cares about you. And since you don't act the same way or that you even want to do those things to begin with, it means you don't care about him as ... (read in full...)
Why do people listen to Sad love songs? Is it sadness that draws one to listen in the first place? Or do the songs make one sadder?
Q. I'm just curious really. That all started out while i was on the bus listening to random song on playlist [ do note most people i know complain about how lot of songs i listen to somewhat depression or sad]after today i probably agree to some ...
A. 8 April 2013: Well I like to listen to sad love songs when I'm driving so that could be similar to why you listen on the bus. I think I do it while driving alone because I won't be interrupted by anyone else, helps me think too, I'm very focused. It's hard to ... (read in full...)
I want a FWB relationship that is exclusive with him
Q. I have a friends with 'some' benefits type of relationship going with a very hot n sexy guy. He's the hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on, and he makes me wanna just be free and not hold back in any way, or I might regret it. However, becau...
A. 29 March 2013: What I am taking from this is that you are putting a ton of thought into this 'relationship', and I don't think he is giving you much of a thought at all. You are very into him and this. He doesn't want anything serious, that's why when you asked ... (read in full...)
Should I leave a rose and chocolates at her door?
Q. A girl im close to being in a relationship with, talk to everyday by txt, and usually call end of the day. She has had busy schedule and is not free till next week. It has been 2 weeks since we met. I know she likes me alot, and I like her too. ...
A. 14 February 2013: I would say to just bring the rose and chocolates when you meet up with her next week. I'm a huge romantic but this seems to be a bit much when you haven't been together very long and don't know exactly where she lives. Bringing the rose and/or ... (read in full...)
Online girl I met says she has a b/f yet sends sexual pictures to me and then gets angry! What gives?
Q. hi people i need advice and insight as to what's been going on between me and this lovely and sweet, caring girl i met a few months ago playing video games... LONG STORY SHORT. she's 18. met her online but never met in person but plan on ...
A. 2 February 2013: A truly shy, conservative, 'unslutty' girl would not have sexual encounters over a webcam... She would not send nude photos to a guy she has never met. She would not cheat on her boyfriend. You are thinking she is something she is not, she is far ... (read in full...)
I was called a bad name by a stranger and it ruined my whole day. How do I stop caring about this kind of event?
Q. Hi guys, this may sound like a silly problem but it bothers me a lot, Basically while usually I'm a real tough cookie, sometimes small things people do or say bother me far more than they really should, I get really sad and insecure, For e...
A. 2 February 2013: As you get older and mature you get a little more confidence in situations like these. I would have done as Cerberus said and either spoken to the manager (you could call the store later if you don't feel comfortable walking in and seeking out ... (read in full...)
Would you end a relationship because your partner is untidy?
Q. Would you end a relationship because your partner is untidy and unorganised ?. My boyfriend is lovely. He treats me very well, but one thing i don't like is that his house is a mess a lot of the time and unorganised. He doesnt have a bed. He has ...
A. 31 January 2013: I wouldn't end a relationship if the only problem was my partner being a little messy and unorganized. Your problems with your boyfriend far exceed untidy and I would definitely leave a boyfriend over it. He doesn't bathe, he's lazy, and he lives in ... (read in full...)
Do you think she is avoiding me? It seems like a lot if effort and very silly in my opinion.
Q. I ended things with a girl ages ago, it wasn't the best break up and I will be honest I didn't go about it the right way at all, I was kind of a coward and a careless asshole. But it has been well over a month since i have seen her, it's sad i ...
A. 31 January 2013: It's about as much effort as you are putting into stalking her facebook page to see when she is going out. You are broken up, why does it matter to you when or where she goes? I don't find it silly to try and avoid an ex if you know they will be ... (read in full...)
Why do people have to make comments that are hurtful?
Q. Dear Cupid, The other night I was talking to this guy that I know fairly well but is still considered an acquaintance. We were texting and he asked "why do you wear so much makeup? Not to say you look bad but i'm sure you're pretty naturally...
A. 30 January 2013: I don't think he meant to be mean but I certainly don't think you are being too sensitive and it was a nice compliment either. I think he is one of those who speaks without thinking. They don't understand what they are saying could be hurtful and ... (read in full...)
I just really wish I knew if he really likes me or if I'm just being used.
Q. I really like this guy, we work together and know each other for about two years. All we are right now is friends. About six months ago we started to have sex and he doesn't want anyone to know because its no ones business. Well we still do and we ...
A. 27 January 2013: I'm sure he 'likes' you in some form, but not in a romantic way at all. He is using you and getting a great deal. Not just free sex, but sex AND money. Please wake up and cut him off. He keeps you as a secret and refuses a relationship yet is still ... (read in full...)
I can't provide the storybook life she wants.
Q. Hey folks just wondering what everything thinks. myself and the other half have been together for four years and have spoken abt house, marrage etc. Everything is great but she is always trying to change the type of person i am and traites i.e s...
A. 27 January 2013: You seem to have very different personalities and aren't too compatible. She loves you but wishes you were more open and close to her whereas you don't feel the need for those things and possibly can't do those things. I think staying together would ... (read in full...)
It seems that my Boyfriend of 18 months is not longer interested in me. What can I do to get over this?
Q. My boyfriend lives far from me we have been dating for one and a half years. But now he’s not responding to my messages and he's always busy to talk to me. Now we only talk through social networks only. It seems to be that he's no longer inte...
A. 27 January 2013: Have you asked him why you are only talking through social networks now? That would be the first thing you should do, communicate and try to find out why this has happened. If all he ever says is that he's too busy then let him know this isn't ... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 27 January 2013: Well that's my husband so men like that do exist. He doesn't watch porn, has never talked dirty (funny to think about), no female friends little or big, hasn't been to a strip club since before he met me and it was for a bachelor thing for a friend. ... (read in full...)
How to cope when told your husband doesn't love you the same as he used to? A 40 year marriage down the drain?
Q. After almost 40 years of what I thought was a happy marriage my 62 year old husband said he needed space and I spent all my time and energy on the family and looking after the grand children, he felt lonely. We had had our daughter, her husband and ...
A. 21 January 2013: This is the exact situation my manager is in. I honestly thought you were his wife when I was reading this post at first. He has complained to us for years about his home life, his wife spends all her time taking care of her mother and the grand ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my friend for permission to sleep with her husband?
Q. Apologies for the length of this but I think it's important to have the details.. the devil is always in the details... Me: I'm single and approaching 50. It's been a few years since my last serious relationship but I'm fine with that. Having see...
A. 21 January 2013: It's inappropriate no matter how bad their relationship is. It's not about their relationship, it's about your friendship with Jane. My friend and her ex husband have been divorced for 5 years and it would still be inappropriate if I wanted to use ... (read in full...)
He says he still has his ex on his mind, but only when we fight! What does this mean?
Q. Hi, What do you do if your boyfriend of 6 months is saying he still has ex in his mind? If he is still in love with her then why does he give me headgames, why mess with me at all? He has showed jealousy, when other men check me out etc. Is he ...
A. 21 January 2013: He is trying to make it seem as thought he doesn't care if you leave. He doesn't want to be the 'loser' getting dumped, so he has to appear he doesn't care and you aren't all that important to him anyway. If he says he has his ex on his mind then ... (read in full...)
Am I too traditional? If a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend?
Q. Hello all, I was wondering if a guy was attached, is it ok for him to go out one on one with a female friend? Personally I wouldn't go out with an attached guy one on one even if we're just friends because I find it weird, and maybe a little disr...
A. 13 January 2013: I am with you, I don't think it is right for a man in a committed relationship to hang out one on one with another female. If there were feelings involved at any point its even worse and a definite no. The ONLY way it would be okay is if he had been ... (read in full...)
How do you define "cheating"?
Q. Hello everyone? My question is very simple, and i'm just interested in knowing what your opinions are on this. What do YOU class as cheating? I'm going through a situation right now where i'm wondering whether the lad i'm close to is 'cheeting' o...
A. 4 January 2013: I'm very strict about cheating. I think even speaking to a person of the opposite sex is cheating if you hide it or lie about it. Kissing, hugging, flirting, definitely all cheating in my book. Anything you would keep from your partner that you have ... (read in full...)
He wants to break up --- is my old engagement ring just an excuse?
Q. I have a boyfriend of 6 months where things have been progressing quite quickly. This morning he called to call off the relationship because he realized 2 days ago that I was wearing an engagement ring from a previous man. Please note that as we ...
A. 3 January 2013: Depends. Are you willing to stop wearing the ring? If you are then stop wearing it and let him know, if he still refuses a relationship then you will know it was just a stupid excuse.
If you are not willing to stop wearing the ring then leave hi... (read in full...)
How do you tell someone that the girl he fell in love with doesn't exist?
Q. How do you tell someone that the girl they fell in love with doesnt exist. It wasnt meant to turn out this way. I never wanted him to fall for me, but he has. Now we are meant to meet up tuesday and i cant becasue the girl he.l fell for is a fake. ...
A. 3 January 2013: They actually have just started a show like this on MTV called Catfish. It's about couples who met online and one wants to meet in person and the other is trying to avoid it because they have been lying about who they really are. I assume you sent ... (read in full...)
Do birthdays decrease in importance as we age?
Q. Dear aunt and uncles Do birthdays decrease on importance as we age? I ask because my mother who is 55 will have her birthday on the middle of January. I have to move to a new city due to work and school, and I have to be on the new city on t...
A. 3 January 2013: I've found that birthdays and Christmas definitely lose importance as you age. They are more exciting when you are a child or have a younger child. I know for my family birthdays and Christmas were always such a big deal. A few years ago after I had ... (read in full...)
She said she's not going to make love to me any more. Why did she react so angrily to my questions?
Q. Hi,I'm kind of confused my girlfriend just sms ed me that she's refusing to make love to me any more. I think this is due to the fact that I saw her with a man walking down the street, so I stop gave her a lift to her home. That evening befo...
A. 3 January 2013: People who react so harshly and get so offended that you 'don't trust them' are hiding something. The entire thing is pointless anyway since she has stated there will be no more sex then obviously there will be no more relationship. But to answer ... (read in full...)
The psychic has poisoned me against my lover, and I'm a believer in self-fulfilling prophecies!
Q. I am perfectly, ecstatically happy with my boyfriend. We've been together for eight months, and have learned how to open up, how to love, how to communicate, so many "how"s, and we absolutely adore each other. We're compatible emotionally, ...
A. 2 January 2013: You are focusing on the negative things she has said as if it were gospel and must be true when you then admit she was incorrect about quite a few other things and most of what she said was based on what you said and cold reading. I'm sorry but ... (read in full...)
My BF has been messaging another girl for 2 months. What should I do?
Q. So I'm on here because I don't quite know what to do. I just found out yesterday on New Year's Day that my boyfriend has been messaging some girl, trying to get into her knickers for the past 2 months. The girl in question sent me the proof. I'm n...
A. 2 January 2013: This is typical behavior of any man who cheats and gets caught. He is not special or a sweet guy, all cheaters do this. Check out past questions here from ofher women if you want, it's all there. They grovel, beg, cry... Anything to get you back. ... (read in full...)
All of his feelings for me came pouring out but I don't feel the same, so he expects us to carry on like normal! What can I do?
Q. So a while ago i posted a question, which asked whether or not a guy and a girl could actually be friends without it being compromised by physical attraction or it ending up in one or the other falling for the other. I asked this based on a ...
A. 2 January 2013: I think you will inevitably lose his friendship. His attraction to you is going to hold him back from pursuing other relationships. He will secretly hope you come around and change your mind no matter what he tells you. And when he finally realizes ... (read in full...)
Women's perspective on a guy's height please.
Q. Ladies, I'd like to hear from you how you feel about height as it relates to attraction. Is it a non-negotiable for you that your man be taller than you are? What about when he's taller than you, but not taller than you in heels? I'm 5'8" and l...
A. 25 December 2012: I think only a very shallow woman would 'need' a man to be a certain height. There's far more that's important in a relationship than the man's height. My husband is very tall, 6'2 and he loves it. It was actually unattractive to me because I always ... (read in full...)
Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!
Q. I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense... Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She as...
A. 21 December 2012: Agreed with everyone else. She sounds like a jealous person. Only jealous and unhappy people feel the need to say rude things to bring another person down, her actions were uncalled for but she clearly is unhappy with her life so what can you do?
... (read in full...)
I'm second guessing my decision to leave my cheating husband
Q. Hi. I've just separated after being with this guy since I was a teenager. Now in my 30s with 2 kids he's all I ever knew. He claimed cheated on me and when i said im leaving, he claimed to be gutted, said he was seeing a counsellor, and taking a...
A. 21 December 2012: It's completely natural when faced with being along to get scared. He is trying to come back and saying all the right things and then when you realize you would rather not be alone you start to really consider what he is saying. You need to just ... (read in full...)
I just moved in with my boyfriend. Should we write up a contract for rent obligations and other household duties?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently moved in with my boyfriend, I am trying to figure out a pattern about rights and obligations in relationships, for example,if I cook who does the dishes -me or him, if I do the dishes who will wipe them - basically, our...
A. 19 December 2012: The way it worked for me was for me to pay for all groceries and household items, my (now) husband (then boyfriend) paid the mortgage because I was moving into his house. I didn't make even half as much money as he did so that made sense for us. For ... (read in full...)
He says I'm his soul mate, but I don't think we even share the same sense of humour...should I break up with him around Christmas?
Q. Hi I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months and i've been beginning to notice that we have quite different senses of humour, and disagree quite a lot on things. I think he's an amazing person but I don't think we are right for eachother. ...
A. 19 December 2012: Break up with him now. It is never a good idea to string someone along out of pity, which is what this would be if you stayed. You feel badly about dumping him before Christmas so you stick it out until later, right after Christmas. He will know why ... (read in full...)
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