A
female
age
26-29,
*ittlemisshelpful
writes:Hello everyone?My question is very simple, and i'm just interested in knowing what your opinions are on this.What do YOU class as cheating? I'm going through a situation right now where i'm wondering whether the lad i'm close to is 'cheeting' on his girlfriend...Would you say SEX is where your a cheat? or just a meer kiss.. Or affectionate touching\hand holding\hugging to long etc...Thanks in advance! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, antlive647  +, writes (6 January 2013):
Cheating is anything you wouldn't do if your significant other was with you period.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): Pursuing another person behind your lovers back for something you should ONLY get from your lover in my book is cheating. Anything from chatting on a dating site (emotional cheating), to full blown physical intercourse, and everything in-between that a person shouldn't be doing with a member of the opposite sex I would say...
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (4 January 2013):
 I'm very strict about cheating. I think even speaking to a person of the opposite sex is cheating if you hide it or lie about it. Kissing, hugging, flirting, definitely all cheating in my book. Anything you would keep from your partner that you have done with the opposite sex because it feels 'wrong' is cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): Anything that you couldn't tell your partner about - so anything from an emotional relationship, a "proper" kiss to sex.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 January 2013):
I agree with the other agony aunts that cheating is defined individually by each couple.
Cheating is for me "breaking the rules" or not caring anymore while pretending to do so. It's emotional disloyalty, lying, hiding your true feelings, as iamheretohelpyou said.
So, the boundaries are very different.
To find out if the guy is cheating, you have to find out if he does something he doesn't want his girlfriend to know..
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (4 January 2013):
 Cheating is when you receive (or get to do) something you would not have received (or been able to do) without deception.
Sometimes it's the WHAT. Other times it's the HOW.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 January 2013):
 I agree with SVC
Cheating is anything you don't want to share with your partner/hide from your partner/can't tell your partner.
You can cheat on your partner by having a emotional affair. That mean you share your feeling and feel love/loved towards someone else. Usually this happens when there are bumps in the "regular" relationship and someone has doubt whether they should put in the work to fix it or walk away. I have seen SO many people who "just" start up an emotional "relationship" with someone else but stay with their partner out of sheer convenience and frankly due to familiarity. But they want that "crazy" falling in love feeling most people have in the beginning of a relationship/courtship.
I don't think hugging is considered cheating, but again there is "hugging" and then there is HUGGING with a little groping too... now a good hug is OK (in my book) but the latter not. However, it also comes down to WHOM they hug. If you are hugging (or your partner) someone who LIKES them in a romantic way, then it's still not cheating, it's just DUMB. It's playing with fire.
Kissing.. well, a peck on a cheek is fine (IMHO) a french kiss is not.
Walking around holding hands is PDA (public Display of Affection) so that should remain for the BF/GF/Fiance/Wife/Kids
Sex - yes it's ALWAYS cheating to me. Even if the sex didn't mean anything, then why the HECK do it?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 January 2013):
 Considering the tone of the question that you're asking... I feel pretty confident telling you that this DOG that you are fooling around with is CHEATING......
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, tby1 +, writes (4 January 2013):
 It's whatever you keep from your partner that you know they wouldn't like In my opinion.
I have knowledge cos I ruined my life due to cheating but to psychically various other forms. I saw it as harmless, but my life has changed badly and I can tell you, whatever people do wrong it's not worth it, cos I lost everything and my own personal respect cos I hurt a special woman
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 January 2013):
 In my opinion (and you probably won't like it) cheating is ANYTHING you can't won't or Don't tell your partner.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 January 2013):
Cheating is defined by being deceptive. So if his girlfriend knows about him seeing other people and is okay with it then it's not cheating.
I don't think it's as simple as "touching is okay, inserting is not."
Where the gray area is in my opinion, is if no physical contact has been made and it's strictly emotional, is it cheating?
Let me ask you this: if you were his girlfriend would you be okay with him doing whatever it is that you two are doing behind her back.?
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