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Do you think she is avoiding me? It seems like a lot if effort and very silly in my opinion.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2013)
A male Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I ended things with a girl ages ago, it wasn't the best break up and I will be honest I didn't go about it the right way at all, I was kind of a coward and a careless asshole.

But it has been well over a month since i have seen her, it's sad i know this but it's actually going to be two months exactly this Saturday since I last saw her!! We have in all the time we known each other, gone out with friends on Saturday night as it's the only night we both actually like of the week, not only that, we are always at the same bar every Saturday.. And this has been the same since we both started this September for first year.

Well, now all of a sudden as soon as it ended I haven't seen her out on Saturday, she's never in there on this night and I know she's been going out to that place still because her Facebook... At first i thought maybe she's busy, or just avoiding the place. But now, I genuinely think she still goes there but goes on a different night because she knows i'll be there. Which if you ask me does seem like too much of an effort and silly, because we're bound to have to run into each other at some point since we both go to university here, so what is the point of purposely trying to avoid me?

What do you guys think, is she trying to avoid me, it has been a long time since i saw her and it does seems sudden? And why would a girl do this because as I said it just seems like too much of an effort and silly?

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A female reader, Red591 United States +, writes (20 March 2013):

Red591 agony auntTell you what. let some girl who you are into dump you.

Then see how much fun it is to see her fixed up and out with friends and happy when you were left to the dust.

The dumper never feels the pain of the person being dumped.

Their pain comes only when they are dumped. It is healthy to avoid the thing that causes you pain.

It is possible she has a different life now and does different things saturday too but I prob wouldn't go to a place that a guy that dumped would be at. It seems counter productive.

You seem very concerned about what she does. Maybe you made a mistake letting her go?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWow you think her universe revolves around you?

you say you ended it ages ago...

It's ages ago you broke up... maybe something else changed in her life and she had to change her schedule... why in the world would you think it's ALL ABOUT YOU?

the fact that you still keep track of how long it's been since you saw her and and you are watching her Facebook page reeks of borderline stalker behavior....

best advice.. UNFRIEND Her on facebook and stop watching her... she's not yours to keep tabs on any more.

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A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (31 January 2013):

Staceily agony auntIt's about as much effort as you are putting into stalking her facebook page to see when she is going out. You are broken up, why does it matter to you when or where she goes? I don't find it silly to try and avoid an ex if you know they will be somewhere at an exact time every week, I would try and avoid my ex too. I think most people would, it's pretty common. Seeing an ex is awkward and isn't fun so if you can help it you avoid it. I really am curious though, why do you care? Do you regret dumping her the way you did and now miss her? Or are you holding out hope she still cares? After a break up and you really don't want to be with the person you don't tend to follow their facebook and wonder why they aren't around, you just don't care. So ask yourself why do you still care.

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