I don't want to block him because he is a nice person but I'm freaking out now because he will take my rejection very badly, how do I handle this?
Q. I have been chatting to a man online for a few months now, he seemed ok and I would offer him advice as he had mental problems...he has a borderline personality so I did google the illness and realised that people who suffer from that tend to act on ...
A. 7 August 2014: Well if you think he will freak out then you will need to let him down easy rather than be upfront like I would normally suggest. Tell him this is going too fast for you and you want to slow it down, you aren't sure what you want right now. Then ... (read in full...)
Guy on internet dating website hasn't written in a week, and only checks in when I write him, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Q. I started corresponding with this guy on Okcupid about three years ago. We wrote to each other long, thoughtful messages and almost went out on a date, but I'd started hitting it off with another guy and eventually dated this other guy for two ...
A. 7 August 2014: Well the no reply in one week could mean he is busy, it could also mean he met someone else and hasn't been on to tell you so. When you are only talking by long messages back and forth he may not have had the time to log on and give you a long ... (read in full...)
I worked for a business for one month and then I quit. How can I get the wages I am owed for that one month I worked there?
Q. I worked for a fashion retailer for only a month. It was not the most organized or functional place to be. I ended up quitting after working there part time for a month, and want to know if I can still get paid even though I was there for a short ...
A. 6 August 2014: You will definitely still get paid no matter how long you worked there. I received a paycheck for a job I quit after working there for 3 days. It happened a few times actually when I was younger and quit dead end jobs with no notice. They were ... (read in full...)
What are ways my fiancé can prove to me he wont cheat again and to regain my trust?
Q. So in may this yr. I have to go to jail for some owed back child support. While im gone for 25 days my fiancé takes it upon himself to "not put his life on hold" and decided to cheat. He said he blacked out from within an hr before up to in the ...
A. 6 August 2014: Check out this book- I Love You But I Don't Trust You, by Mira Kirshenbaum. This is a great book for rebuilding trust in a relationship after a betrayal, I really reccomend it for you. I always recommend this book when there is a major betrayal or ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend is shaming me and my sexual preferences! Am I in the wrong? Have I pushed him too far? Or am I really that disgusting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years - at least 18 months of which have been based on serious long term commitment to each other with the future in mind. We have an average sex life. I have accepted that I am a more...
A. 6 August 2014: You are not disgusting. Like the other aunts have said, you are very sexually incompatible. I think if he is only into vanilla sex that is okay, it's his life and what he likes. It is NOT okay to call you dirty (in this case dirty being synonymous ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance with my ex but only told him we kissed.
Q. My fiance and I have been together for over 5 years and we are set to be married in a month and a half. I ended up sleeping with my ex and told my fiancé that we kissed. I was going to tell him the whole truth but he went ballistic anyway. He was ...
A. 4 August 2014: DO NOT marry someone you don't feel the deepest love for. It will not last. Even if your ex was not in the picture, this would not last. You know how you feel when you really love someone, your fiance isn't it. Marrying for any reason outside of ... (read in full...)
He ticks every box .... apart from his very bad breath!
Q. I've been hanging out with a guy I know from swimming club and recently he's asked me out on 3 dates. He's tall, fit, healthy, has a great job, is close to his family, we get along so well and he ticks pretty much every box! The only problem is....
A. 3 August 2014: I would sit him down and explain that you really like him. Maybe tell him what you like about him and how much fun you have with him. Then ask, in a caring way, if he is aware that he has bad breath? Tell him you worry it could be a health issue, ... (read in full...)
He seems keen and yet there is this other woman popping up!
Q. Hello forum, So I guess I'm not sure what to make of this situation. I was in an acting class and one of the guys told me on the last day that I was very funny and charming and asked me out. We have been out three times now and he seems to really ...
A. 3 August 2014: You aren't being too hard on him. I wouldn't get anywhere near a guy who is 33 living with his mom and no ambition to do anything else. It's one thing to fall on hard times and end up at your mom's and working towards fixing it. But he has always ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday messsage on Facebook
Q. My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday message to a girl I used to do sexting with on Facebook. She says she dosen't want to see me anymore , what should I do ? I don't see the big deal ! All I said was happy Birthday. My ...
A. 3 August 2014: I don't think this is an issue of your girlfriend being overly insecure. I would be quite upset by this as well. I think you crossed a boundary that is inappropriate and if you want your girlfriend back you will need to genuinely apologize and make ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to move forward, my childhood holds me back!
Q. I came from quite a difficult family situation. My parents had an awful marriage, from the time I was born my dad was always constantly cheating on my mom and yet my mom stayed with him and had another child with him (my younger sister). My dad was ...
A. 3 August 2014: I come from a terrible family and rough, abusive childhood as well. The only people who know this are people very, very close to me who I know I can trust and won't judge me. Acquaintances, coworkers, people like that, I do not share my history. It ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 2 August 2014: There is a difference between sharing feelings and drowning in sorrow and whining. It also depends on how often you need these pep talks. Are you constantly down/depressed? Are you relying on your partner to bring you "up" and happy? That is far too ... (read in full...)
´m not popular on facebook, what should I do?
Q. Hello, I know my problem will sound childish to you and I know this "problem" doesn´t have the right to be called a problem..but still it hurts me. Also I´m no teenager, I´m 25 years old. It hurts me, that I´m being ignored on Facebook. When I...
A. 1 August 2014: Facebook causes these issues, it's very common. People compare their profile, lives, pictures, relationships, etc to what other 'friends' are doing. I've read it causes depression in some people, that their own lives aren't as interesting as other ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want to be honest and talk? What is wrong with him and his libido?
Q. I have been with my Fiancée for 5 years and about 2 years ago his libido and need for sex started declining drastically. We used to have a great sex life. After talking, reading, being patient, supporting him and being constantly rejected when I ...
A. 1 August 2014: No idea what the cause of his low libido is. Could range from medical issues, to age, to porn addiction, to cheating, to past sexual abuse and so on. He could be very embarrassed by this as well. Regardless of the reason, he is refusing to speak to ... (read in full...)
I really want her to feel appreciated and loved.
Q. Ok. So my girlfriend went to stay with her best friend last week. They have been close for 5 years and it turns out last week he told ger that he was in love with her. We have been together for 7 years and when she came back there was a huge...
A. 28 July 2014: It's not impossible for it to work out, but I don't think it will unfortunately. When someone wants to get out on their own that way it is to get away from the relationship and drama and see how they like being without you. Testing the waters so to ... (read in full...)
I know its hypocritical of me, but I am jealous!
Q. Hi all, So my ex and I broke up a Couple of months ago. We needed the time to resolve some issues and now we have decided to try again. I dated during our break up, and he did too except he went on a dating profile as he's not a big drinker and also...
A. 28 July 2014: Congratulations on getting back together. The best way to deal with this is to focus on something else when jealous thoughts pop into your head. Force them out of your mind. Right now you are dwelling on it and over thinking it. When a thought comes ... (read in full...)
I miss my ex but I don't know why..I don't want him back!
Q. My ex was controlling, manipulative, unwilling to work, immature and treated me like his personal bank. Towards the end of our 3 year relationship he also started to get physically abusive and extremely verbally abusive. We have been split for 2...
A. 25 July 2014: Comfort. You know him and he knows you. You have been together 3 years and now you will have to start over, it can be terrifying. So it's easier to go back to where you know what to expect. Also you knew he was there for you. You didn't feel on your ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him out or not?
Q. ive met a guy I really like through an online dating site , weve been on a few dates and get on really well hes texted me loads to say he really likes me but then he had some bad health news he wont tell me what so fair enough ,he knows it wont ...
A. 25 July 2014: No I wouldn't say anything to him about it. You will seem bitter and like you care and are hurt, he won't be impressed thinking you are smart to pick up on it. He wasn't exactly hiding anything. The best way to go is to pretend to not care. He isn't ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him out or not?
Q. ive met a guy I really like through an online dating site , weve been on a few dates and get on really well hes texted me loads to say he really likes me but then he had some bad health news he wont tell me what so fair enough ,he knows it wont ...
A. 24 July 2014: Absolutely DO NOT demand an official relationship with him. You will only embarrass yourself. He said he doesn't want a relationship with you. He blamed it on health blah blah. It's crap. He doesn't want something serious with you. He got what he ... (read in full...)
I caught him talking sexually with other men but he denies it!
Q. I need help! I have caught my boyfriend (for the second time) talking to men sexually. We are happy (or so I thought). we've been living together for over a year. He denies everything, i even sent the "mystery man" an email, he says they never ...
A. 24 July 2014: He is cheating. It doesn't matter if they didn't meet up (yet). He is having sexual conversations behind your back with another person, you don't need to meet in person to cheat, talking sex and/or sending naked pictures or even just flirting IS ... (read in full...)
Am I flirting wrong?
Q. I have never been good at flirting, first of all, but recently I don't know what has come over me with this new guy I know... It started with me and another girl getting him to promise to buy us ice cream because the weather was so hot. Then, a ...
A. 24 July 2014: I think it depends on the person. He may be a terrible flirt. He may not have been able to pick up on you flirting. He may just not be interested. I don't think you did anything wrong in what you said. You were playing around and it isn't a big ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has baby mama drama and I'm being pushed aside
Q. I am dealing with some baby momma drama. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. We really love each other and talk about a future together. We are both professionals....im a resident physician and he in school to ...
A. 23 July 2014: You just trusted someone you care deeply for and were blind to the signs. We have all been there at some point. Unfortunately some people are capable of these kinds of lies. And until someone has completely deceived you, we tend to not think people ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has baby mama drama and I'm being pushed aside
Q. I am dealing with some baby momma drama. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. We really love each other and talk about a future together. We are both professionals....im a resident physician and he in school to ...
A. 22 July 2014: "She can't know about me. He claims that if she finds out he is in a relationship she wont let him see his child. Im not allowed to meet his child, i havent met his family, and I cant associate with anybody that knows her or may provide a route for ... (read in full...)
With his herpes diagnosis, he never really mentioned being concern for me at all!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He recently has been diagnosed with genital herpes, apparently herpes can stay latent and take awhile to manifest. I am still waiting on my results, never had an outbreak and hoping I am in the ...
A. 22 July 2014: This is life changing news he received. To hear you have an incurable disease is devastating. Everyone handles it differently, apparently he isn't one who takes an STD lightly. I know if my boyfriend got this news he would be contemplating near ... (read in full...)
Can anyone with dog wisdom give me some advice?
Q. Hi there, This is SORT of a relationship question.. We have just built a new home and we'd like to buy/rescue a dog. I have never owned a dog before so I don't know what to expect. Throughout my life I've adopted sick goldfish and restored ...
A. 21 July 2014: I think a good idea is to visit an animal shelter or pound and find a dog who you really click with. They also have short bios of what the dog is like, how much exercise he would need, if he's good with children etc. I used to work for an animal ... (read in full...)
Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl?
Q. Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl? They're doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome. What I mean by the same type of ...
A. 17 July 2014: I was actually thinking about this the other day with a show I was watching. The guy was definitely the stereotypical "nice guy" and I found myself thinking of the statement nice guys finish last. I don't find the guy appealing at all, nor did the ... (read in full...)
I can't get a Bf, but is it because I think boys judge girls on their looks?
Q. I had a crush on this boy for about a year, (he was 18) and we have been friends for about 4 years. I thought it was time for me to tell him how I feel, it took a lot of courage but eventually I asked him out. He said he'd get back to me.. He came ...
A. 17 July 2014: Of course not. You talked to one insensitive immature idiot. There are some of those out there, men and women alike. Fortunately not as many as you'd think. I knew a guy like this, he had made a comment that he wouldn't date girls smaller than a C ... (read in full...)
My parents cant stand my relationship with my much older B/f. Should I even invite them to my wedding ?
Q. My parents have never been supportive if my relationship with my older boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and he is 19 years older then me and was also a family friend before we started dating. Once we started dating they but me out o...
A. 17 July 2014: This reminds me of parents who disown their homosexual children because they don't approve of their lifestyle. The second a parent turns manipulative (it's him or us) is the second they have stopped being parents. A good parent cares about your ... (read in full...)
I have an irrational fear he will cheat on me!
Q. I've known my boyfriend for seven years, been in a relationship for one year. We have never had an argument and he is a total gentlemen. It feels as though we were made specifically for each other and, while I've never told him, I do hope he asks me ...
A. 15 July 2014: You suffer from paranoia. Check out this article and see if any of these apply to you-
http://m.wikihow.com/Avoid-Suspicion-and-Paranoia
I've found that it's rooted largely in insecurity when the partner has never given reason to be mistrusted... (read in full...)
Am I too manly?
Q. My whole life I have been into sports. I love sports, I love games I love things normal woman don't. I grew up an only child for 12 years and I was basically my dad's son. But I've also been hurt many times by men in my life. So to protect myself I ...
A. 14 July 2014: I get the feeling he is too insecure to handle you. He seems worried by your guy-like mindset and threatened. The offhanded comments about your previous FWBs shows as much, he's jealous and upset by your past. It's typical with insecure partners to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 12 July 2014: Do you have any family members you can speak to at all? Anyone you can reach out to? I did find this site for you with great tips-
http://www.livestrong.com/article/179800-how-to-get-out-of-an-abusive-relationship-with-no-money/#page=1
Contact... (read in full...)
Motherhood is sapping my self confidence.
Q. I am a 22 year old, i use to have alot of confidence, was very bubbly, happy and had a close group of friends. Now i have a child and a boyfriend, and i am very happy with family life, but i just don't do nothing for myself anymore, i know being a ...
A. 12 July 2014: It's not motherhood sapping your confidence, it's your relationship. Feeling isolated without friends or family makes you lose happiness. He shouldn't tell you who you can or can't talk to, that isn't healthy. It's equally unhealthy to try and keep ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 11 July 2014: Women in abusive relationships never picture it getting as bad as it does until it's there. And then it's too late.
He has every sign of an abuser. Aside from physically putting his hands on you roughly which is obviously abuse, he is possessi... (read in full...)
Trust issues from my past are affecting my current relationship. Do I have a reason to be paranoid now with what my boyfriend is doing?
Q. Hi Guys, So keeping it straight to the point. Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now- everything is fantastic and I couldn't ask for anyone better. I live with him at his mums and we are saving up for a house to move out. I see him ever...
A. 10 July 2014: Has your current boyfriend ever lied to you about anything or given you reason to question him?
I am assuming the answer to that question is no since you only mentioned mistrust from the previous relationship. You are definitely sufferin... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about this drunken mistake?
Q. I have recently been away with a group of friends including my best friend ,her husband and his cousin. I hadn't met this cousin previously but had heard friends talk about him and he is kind of connected to where I work, I knew I would get on well ...
A. 8 July 2014: Why is your best friend angry you were flirting with her husband's cousin? No, you don't need to tell her the extent, its really none of her business in any way. As the previous aunt said, apologize for feeling embarrassed and let it go. Not a big ... (read in full...)
My grandmother is a gossip and I don't want to see her. How do I handle this?
Q. My grandmother and mother are both negative gossips. I am 32 years old and for the past 4 years have put some distance between them and myself. However, now that I have returned to the city that I grew up in and they live in my grandmother is ...
A. 5 July 2014: Personally I don't see the problem in cutting her out of your life. You can't choose your family... You can choose how you interact with them. Some family members can truly drain you and make you miserable. Anyone who makes you that unhappy ... (read in full...)
No birthday present from boyfriend
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just wondering if your new boyfriend of 3 months does not get you a birthday present what would you think to that? He hasn't got much money at all. He got me a card, but I was hoping for a little something. Even some chocolates,...
A. 4 July 2014: It depends really. Have you ever discussed birthdays before yours? Did you ever specify that presents or a celebration were important to you?
I ask because I know of many people who do nothing for birthdays, at all. They simply don't care. I ... (read in full...)
I'm in turmoil. I love my husband, so do I stay with him or move in with my lover?
Q. I've been having an affair with a co-worker for the past 6 months behind my husband's back. I'll admit, our marriage has become a bit stale in the bedroom department, all my husband talks about is bills, paying the next bill, financial st...
A. 3 July 2014: In situations like these where you have to choose between your current partner and someone new, I think the best advice is to take the new person out of the equation altogether. Now a simple question for you to answer, do you want to be with your ... (read in full...)
Just discovered my boyfriend lied about having a child
Q. I APOLOGIZE THIS IS LONG BUT I'M BEGGING FOR INPUT ON THE SITUATION My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and he is an ex army militant. In our early days I noticed he had a tattoo with a female name followed by a date which whe...
A. 28 June 2014: This lie, as any lie found in a relationship, destroys trust. This is a very bad lie however... He didn't just neglect to tell you about her. He lied about the existence of a child, and he fabricated a huge tale about a friend dying and CRIED in ... (read in full...)
I need some dating advice to help me approach women
Q. Hey all, bit of a weird question, I'm a 23 year old male, who has had 1 girlfriend, and I am a virgin. Great introduction! But, I'm starting to realize that my view on dating is perhaps 50 years out of date. I think that two people should be...
A. 28 June 2014: Dating sites are what a ton of people do these days. Everyone I know has gone on one at one point or another. They don't all cost money. I met my ex husband on a paying site, and my current boyfriend on a free site. To each his own of course. I am ... (read in full...)
I need some dating advice to help me approach women
Q. Hey all, bit of a weird question, I'm a 23 year old male, who has had 1 girlfriend, and I am a virgin. Great introduction! But, I'm starting to realize that my view on dating is perhaps 50 years out of date. I think that two people should be...
A. 26 June 2014: Have you ever tried a dating site? They are very popular nowadays and you can "meet" many people who you know from the start are already single and looking. Aside from being easier, it opens up a lot more possibilities than hoping you meet a single ... (read in full...)
He went away without me and I feel like I need to even the score
Q. My BF of a year and a half is away for a month. Visiting family in South America. I am not going because I have no $$. He knows this and still went for a month without me. I am hurt and jealous and annoyed. It comes after several rocky months of him ...
A. 26 June 2014: If you want to stay with him and you want a better chance for him to commit, you need to back off of him. Give him space. don't pressure him. Let him have a vacation. Be nice and fun to talk to. Be a girlfriend he wants to commit to, get it? I do ... (read in full...)
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