Met a guy online, going to meet him soon.
Q. So I met this guy on this online forum and he started talking to me first. He thought I was a guy and we were talking for a bit until he asked my number and texted me. It wasn't until he asked my name did he find out I was female. haha I just came ...
A. 20 November 2012: Please listen to the other posters and be safe. I did a lot of dating online years ago and always made sure to give all the information I had on the guy to my mom. His phone number, email, pictures, name, etc. I NEVER met a guy from online at home, ... (read in full...)
Inspiration to keep me motivated???
Q. Hey everyone, I have my final exam in december and I'm looking for inspiration quotes I could hang around the bedroom, that would keep me motivated and it would encourage me to study harder.. Thank you.. Ps:I know this is a not a relationship que...
A. 20 November 2012: "Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about."- Unknown
"When you feel like giving up remember why you held on so long in the first place."- Unknown
"I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because ... (read in full...)
I just found out that a man I've been flirting with, is married. Any suggestions on how to back off politely?
Q. Help, At work their is this guy who has been flirting and I've been flirting back, I'm okay with that. But when I wanted to show a friend what he looked like a came across his public Facebook account and found out he has three kids and is marr...
A. 20 November 2012: Sounds like a slime ball, innocent flirting is fine but touching you and trying to make excuses to see you outside of work, pretty messed up... I would stop flirting back and just remain professional when he tries to flirt with you. Try to avoid him ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me that my significant other will not buy me lingerie
Q. My fiance MO use to be to buy his ex girlfriends flowers, lingerie and a card I found out. He has never done this with me. Victoria's Secret catalog arrived in the mail and he said look it's Victoria's Secret. I said and so what you going to buy me. ...
A. 20 November 2012: Also I meant to add....
You say it was his MO to get a card, flowers, and lingerie. Sounds like it supports the idea that they weren't very special and it was his go to gift he didn't put a lot of thought into. Why would you want the same tired gi... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me that my significant other will not buy me lingerie
Q. My fiance MO use to be to buy his ex girlfriends flowers, lingerie and a card I found out. He has never done this with me. Victoria's Secret catalog arrived in the mail and he said look it's Victoria's Secret. I said and so what you going to buy me. ...
A. 20 November 2012: It could be that he bought those gifts for past girlfriends because they weren't special to him, it was an easy go to gift that had no thought put into it. Maybe they flat out told him they wanted lingerie. Maybe he saw them as just sex partners and ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a well-dressed man to find an average dressed woman attractive?
Q. I see this guy every day and every time we pass each other the flirting is intense. This guy is gorgeous and I love his mannerisms and find him intriguing, and would love to get to know him further. The only issue I have is that he very well ...
A. 20 November 2012: He's flirting with you now in your 'unfashionable' clothes so he knows how you dress and is still interested. It doesn't mean you won't have anything in common. Think about any relationship where the woman is very into fashion and the man typically ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your significant other said their ex's name during sex?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 3 years. The other night we were in the middle of sex and she said another man's name. More importantly it was her ex's name. She tried to play it off like it didn't happen. Has anyone been in this situation ...
A. 20 November 2012: It's not ideal to hear, but you certainly don't end a marriage over it! This is a marriage, not a girlfriend of a few months. It's possible it was completely on accident as chigirl said, just make sure you talk to your wife about it and don't ignore ... (read in full...)
Why can't I see my husband's computer screen? Why is everything a secret?
Q. My husband and I had to live apart last year after he lost his job. He admits to having girlfriends while he was away. Now he is always reading twitter on his Ipad, and when I asked if could see what he was laughing about, he went ballistic. He ...
A. 20 November 2012: The verdict: He's still cheating. People who get defensive and angry when you try to see something they are doing are getting defensive for a reason. As you said, if it was nothing then why would he care? Cheaters try to throw blame off of ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to try harder to know me?
Q. Hi, I have been dating this guy for almost 1 1/2 month and known him for alsmot 3 months. We started dating after we slept together, after a party where we both were a bit drunk. Anyhow, I know he has a busy schedule with work, studies and trai...
A. 19 November 2012: Being drunk does not make you truthful. It only lowers your inhibitions and makes you looser when you talk. I've lied whilst drunk and been lied to whilst drunk. It is not a truth serum. That saying is just that, a saying. Children lie all the time ... (read in full...)
Will my cheating ex ever look back and regret her actions?
Q. Having recently come out of a five year relationship where I have just found out she lied and deceived me from day one, where I have just learned she was seeing others behind my back; I was wondering if there will ever come a time when she will look ...
A. 19 November 2012: Someone who is able to cheat and lie for 5 years is very selfish. A selfish person doesn't realize they are wrong, it's everyone else that is wrong. I'm sure she justifies her reasons for cheating and doesn't feel badly for it. I know it's the hope ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my ex? We've both slept with other people but now we're both single.
Q. Hi, please help! I have a child with my ex gf who I was with for a few years. We lived together but fell out quite a lot and used to split up regularly. We ended a few times and about a year ago we split up for good, she moved on to another ...
A. 19 November 2012: Well you are both in love with each other and single so give it another go. It may not work out because you seem to have had a lot of issues in the past but it won't hurt to try again, especially since you are both wanting to. About having sex with ... (read in full...)
Girls: What is more important, penetrative sex or oral sex?
Q. Hi This question is for ladies. I just hear how much girls like oral sex, so I want to ask you(girls) if oral sex is more important and more enjoyable for you then intercourse/penetration? Thanks a lot....
A. 19 November 2012: I like them both, typically I prefer intercourse over oral though because it's more personal and intimate in my opinion. If I am incapable of going with intercourse then I need oral to be able to get off. And oral is used for foreplay as well. ... (read in full...)
Been with boyfriend for 7 years. Why won't he commit?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for more than seven years now. He hardly makes the effort to call or ask to see me and I'm always the one asking when I'm going to see him or asking him to SMS me or I end up always the first to call or SMS. ...
A. 19 November 2012: No, it's not normal after 7 years to not have taken the next step, at least be living together or planning to. But it's like the early stages of dating still and he seems uninterested seeing as how you have to make all contact in order to do ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your significant other said their ex's name during sex?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 3 years. The other night we were in the middle of sex and she said another man's name. More importantly it was her ex's name. She tried to play it off like it didn't happen. Has anyone been in this situation ...
A. 19 November 2012: It hasn't ever happened to me before. If it did and he tried to play it off like it didn't happen I would let him know afterwards that I heard him say ____'s name. Then I'd ask if he knew why it came out. You should communicate with her about it. ... (read in full...)
Can you trust a man who just lied to you about who he is? I feel like we are meant to be. Am I fooling myself?
Q. OK.. today I learned that the man I was dating in a LDR lied to me about who he was, where he was from, etc... he ended the relationship 2 months ago but he has been in contact with me over these two months because he said he really misses me and ...
A. 19 November 2012: Yeah, unfortunately liars con men and charmers can really do a number on you. They are great with words and good at what they do. I'm glad you are getting away from him though, good job!... (read in full...)
How can you feel good about yourself when others are better than you?
Q. How do you feel good about yourself when so many people you know are better than you? and how do you not lose hope when your whole and honest efforts keep amounting to naught?...
A. 19 November 2012: You be the best that you can be and don't worry what others are doing with their lives. Also realize that going to a better college does not make someone better than you in the slightest. When you are feeling down and only looking at another ... (read in full...)
My friend told others that he "had me in the palm of his hand". I called him out on it and now he says he only likes me as a friend!
Q. I have met a guy at college and we hit it off straight away. It's the first time I've found a guy with the same interests and we even seem to have the same way of thinking and insecurities. It's strange. He does things like carry my bags and he g...
A. 19 November 2012: He likes to flirt and play games, that's all that's going on. He felt embarrassed after you heard what his friends said. I don't think he was ever serious about a relationship with you. It's all just a game and trying to be impressive to his ... (read in full...)
In the UK can you date your step sister?
Q. is it against the law for you and your step sister to be boyfriend and girlfriend in the uk...
A. 19 November 2012: No because you are not biologically related. ... (read in full...)
Do I sound like a guy that girls would want to date?
Q. Girls, do I seem attractive? I'm a sweetheart, very smart, fun, strong, good hugger, tough, confident and I'm very independent. Sometimes people say that I'm very handsome. I believe when ever I get a girlfriend, she'll be the best thing that ...
A. 19 November 2012: Yepp you sound like a catch. Make sure your confidence doesn't turn to cockiness and you are all set. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has cut me off from male friends but he is making female friends!
Q. I am living with my boyfriend for about 3months and he has made me cut most of my male friends just because he thinks am close to them..now I see him making new female friends and getting close to them also..I asked him about it and he said that ...
A. 19 November 2012: Yes you should reconnect with your friends. Not only that, you should dump your controlling boyfriend. He has different 'rules' for you than he does for himself and tries to control who you can and cannot see. Also he feels the need to hurt your ... (read in full...)
Can you trust a man who just lied to you about who he is? I feel like we are meant to be. Am I fooling myself?
Q. OK.. today I learned that the man I was dating in a LDR lied to me about who he was, where he was from, etc... he ended the relationship 2 months ago but he has been in contact with me over these two months because he said he really misses me and ...
A. 18 November 2012: You are being played for a fool. He lied about who he was, where he was from, etc... So he's very clearly a liar. Yet you believe he has deep and real feelings for you? Why? Because it is what you want to believe and hear. He is a master charmer, ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant having sex while on my period, even if I use a condom?
Q. So I got my period this weekend (Saturday 17/11/2012) by Thursday (22/11/2012) it will end. Okay so my question is can i get pregnant if i have sex using a condom (one or a few days after my period ended)? I'm still a virgin and i'm not on the pill ...
A. 18 November 2012: With a condom you will not get pregnant, unless there is a hole or tear it will be fine. As for being able to get pregnant at this time, you can be impregnated a few days after your period. The ovulation cycle starts some time soon after your period ... (read in full...)
Am I really the bad guy here??
Q. I have two relatives that got pregnant on purpose knowing they had no way to support these babies.. Then to top that off they got pregnant again. They both have two kids living off the Gov for their housing and every other benefit they can get ...
A. 18 November 2012: Those types of people make me angry as well. There are some who don't necessarily do it on purpose, then some who take advantage like your relatives. I know a woman who was on welfare, had three kids and a boyfriend in jail. She had government ... (read in full...)
Dated for about a year and we have not shared "I Love You"s
Q. We are both 20 years old in college, and have been in long term (2 yrs lasting) relationships in the past. In a month will be our 1 year anniversary and we have not said I love yous or anything. Everything is still kept really light between us. Is ...
A. 18 November 2012: At this point I do think you should feel more towards him. It sounds more like a friendship the way you describe it, enjoy each other's company but that's about it. I don't think you will ever feel much more than you do right now. I'd say to talk to ... (read in full...)
One of my best male friends has cut m,e out of his life, because of is new girlfriend.
Q. I'm feeling really down and lost. a male friend of mine, who was also one of my best friends has cut me out his life. Everything about the situation is getting me down from the fact he wont speak to me, the fact he doesnt seem to be the person he ...
A. 18 November 2012: It's no problem. I can understand a little more why you are so upset by this now, is there anyone else you can talk to like you could talk to him? I hate to feel like you are so attached to this guy, he can't always be there and he's clearly not ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should ask her if we could chat online sometime?
Q. So there's this girl I met on a religious retreat last weekend. I instantly took a liking to her, and we talked a few times. After the retreat ended, we became facebook friends. A few days ago, we started sending messages to each other. I know that ...
A. 17 November 2012: I don't mean to nitpick, but if you are messaging her on facebook aren't you already chatting online? So it would be fine to ask her, it isn't much different from what you are doing now. Just say in one of your messages that you would like to have a ... (read in full...)
One of my best male friends has cut m,e out of his life, because of is new girlfriend.
Q. I'm feeling really down and lost. a male friend of mine, who was also one of my best friends has cut me out his life. Everything about the situation is getting me down from the fact he wont speak to me, the fact he doesnt seem to be the person he ...
A. 17 November 2012: This is your other post here-
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-friend-cut-me-out-of-his-life.html
I'm sorry that you are still upset by this. I will start by answering all of your last questions.
"I honestly don't understand why he ... (read in full...)
It's not the porn as such, it's the fact that he lies to me so often. I can't stand it. What should I do?
Q. hi i need help!! i have spend 5 years with my boyfriend and he likes to watch porn all the time! he always lies to me about it, but i know, when i finally get to talk with him about it he tells me doesnt see anything and those things doesnt cause an...
A. 17 November 2012: First off I will address the anon poster who told you not to worry about his weight gain. Do not ever marry a man you have issues with then hope to change him, you won't change him. If you don't love him as he is then you don't marry him, simple as ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I think we're ready for a baby-but what would our families think of pregnancy at 19???
Q. I'm 19 and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, however we have known each other for 8. I am moving in with my boyfriend in the next month and we've been speaking about getting pregnant. I know I'm only 19, but I don't go out clubbing with my ...
A. 17 November 2012: You didn't 'have' to be married to have kids in any century... It's just the best way to go about starting a family. You do realize you can get married without it costing money right? The whole thing seems so rushed and not really a good reason for ... (read in full...)
Dated for about a year and we have not shared "I Love You"s
Q. We are both 20 years old in college, and have been in long term (2 yrs lasting) relationships in the past. In a month will be our 1 year anniversary and we have not said I love yous or anything. Everything is still kept really light between us. Is ...
A. 17 November 2012: Depends on how often you see each other and how you both are personality wise. You have been in long term relationships in the past, how long before you said "I love you" then? If it is in your nature to keep things light and/or you dont see each ... (read in full...)
Best friend's brother was the last person I had sex with and that was a year ago. Should I have sex again with him?
Q. This time last year i had sex with my bestfriend's brother, it wasn't awkward or anything but i told my bestfriend the next day and she seemed a bit bothered but we never fell out.. a month past and everything was fine but he kept asking me to come ...
A. 17 November 2012: Well what is it in your mind that is holding you back? If it was simply sex with no problems or issues attached I think you would do it without having to ask for advice, so there must be something making you wonder if you should or not. I never ... (read in full...)
I have a Boy friend already. So how can I stop thinking about this other guy at work?
Q. Hi, Recently I got a temporary job at a school, I've been there now for about three months and have met this guy, the bad part is I have a boyfriend. Now this guy is just like my bf except he older i don't know his exact age but I would say late...
A. 17 November 2012: How about mentioning you have a boyfriend in one of your future conversations or to some other employees who see him? If he knows you are in a serious relationship he may stop calling you in to flirt and hit on you. And the less you see him the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I think we're ready for a baby-but what would our families think of pregnancy at 19???
Q. I'm 19 and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, however we have known each other for 8. I am moving in with my boyfriend in the next month and we've been speaking about getting pregnant. I know I'm only 19, but I don't go out clubbing with my ...
A. 16 November 2012: What's the rush I guess is my question. You are 19 and only have been together for 2 years, why do you need to get pregnant now? I'm sure this is the question your parents will ask as well, plus a question about having a child out of wedlock. Doing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't get me a gift for my birthday! Am I being selfish and demanding?
Q. Yesterday was my 25th birthday. And my boyfriend of almost a year didn't get me anything. No flower. No card. No gift. He's 33 years old, has a good job and can certainly afford it. We went to Chili's for dinner, and I waited all night for him to ...
A. 16 November 2012: I don't think either of you are wrong, but I do think the way you reacted was a bit harsh. He didn't forget your birthday altogether after all, you did still go out to dinner. For whatever reason he thought you didn't want a lot for you birthday. He ... (read in full...)
Is it better to lose your virginity to another virgin?
Q. I have a couple different questions here. 1. Do you think it is better to lose your virginity to another virgin, or to someone who knows what they are doing in the bedroom? Why do you think either way is better? 2. Is it creepy for a 22 year ...
A. 16 November 2012: As everyone else has said it is most important to lose your virginity to someone you love and feel 100% comfortable with. I lost my virginity to another virgin and I am glad it worked out that way, but the most important part was that we loved each ... (read in full...)
We had a fight, partner hasn't contacted me in 24 hours. Do I have a right to be angry?
Q. I am just looking for some advice from anyone who might have been in a similar situation. Last night my partner of 4 years and I had a huge fight. We do fight sometimes but usually are a very loving couple. The fight was over me being called lots of ...
A. 15 November 2012: Does he have a right to leave without contact for 24 hours? No, he doesn't. Cooling off is one thing, leaving for 24 hours with no way to reach him is immature and unacceptable. Fighting because he called you names? Also unacceptable. You have a ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with people these days? They say I look like some-one that I don't look like.
Q. people say i look like sheldon's girlfriend from the big bang theory. i do have thick stright hair and glasses but i don't think i look as ugly as her, i have long straight hair (some people say it looks silky) i have some reading glasses, no ...
A. 15 November 2012: Even if she is pretty in real life what does that matter? They are comparing her to the character, the one who doesn't look pretty. When I was younger I was compared to Hannah Montana. The character, not Miley Cyrus. It pissed me off at the time, I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't very affectionate. Should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year now is no longer very affectionate. He says he isn't muchy gushy and doesn't like kissing. He just did it to make me be with him in the beginning of the relationship. Whenever I want to talk about our relationship, he ...
A. 15 November 2012: When he's got you and he's comfortable he doesn't feel the need to put forth any effort, this is who he really is. When you are leaving then he does the whole romantic bit because he doesn't want you to go. Its not who he is naturally, but he knows ... (read in full...)
I've only ever had sex with prostitutes. Should I continue or try having a relationship? And should I keep my past secret?
Q. Hello, I have been using prostitutes for about 4 years. I lost my virginity to a prostitute and ever since I only had sex with "working girls". The reason I do this is that it is so much simpler than picking-up women and far more straight...
A. 15 November 2012: To be honest I think you need to get into therapy ASAP. You do have a very skewed and destructive view of women in general. How was your relationship with your mother when growing up? Do you have anything in your past that caused you to seek ... (read in full...)
GIrls: Do you like hairy guys?
Q. Hi This question is for mostly for girls. Do you find attractive "hairy men"(hope you understand), who has hair in chest,back and legs,or maybe you will dump them.Also do you think guys with classic beard are attractive, even I think this depen...
A. 15 November 2012: I love facial hair on a man, it's a must have for me. As for body hair I am not a huge fan, I don't like a lot of chest hair or back hair. As for dumping someone because they are hairy I would not. One because it's not a huge deal and two because ... (read in full...)
My husband flipped out because I wore a male co-worker's jacket! Is he making it too big of a deal?
Q. Hi everyone. Pretty quick question: Is it okay to wear a male coworker's jacket if you are married? My husband found out that my coworker let's me wear his jacket at work and totally flipped out. I don't see the harm in it. Let me know what you th...
A. 14 November 2012: Well you said "my coworker let's me use his jacket at work", meaning it's been more often than once so I can see where the problem is. If it was one time, you forgot your jacket and it was chilly so he offered then who cares. If it is a regular ... (read in full...)
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