After a mistake
Q. Ok here goes Married for 18 years. 7 years ago I had an affaire ( Yes, I think i was in love not just sex). wife found out 5 years ago after it was over. Never had one before or since. Still married coming up on 19th year. But, She can't let in go ...
A. 24 September 2010: Imagine you found out five years ago that your wife had had an affair an affair which lasted 7 years. You name it, she hung out with the guy, said I love you's, made passionate love with him.... HOW would you feel?
Be more empathetic here. It... (read in full...)
Advise on online dating, what could be going through his mind?
Q. I could really use some advice from people who have tried online dating. I'm new to it so perhaps I'm not too familiar with the standard way of doing things. Like I said, I met him online a while ago actually, and since then we have talked onli...
A. 24 September 2010: REad these two books "Why men marry bitches" and "He's just not that into you". When I was 23 I was waiting in a bookstore for 3 hours waiting for my date to arrive, he'd text me that he's an hour away. We'll it took him three hours, so while I sat ... (read in full...)
Confused about my brother's feelings for me.....
Q. I told my brother that I'm in love with him 5 months ago. and that I wanted to make love with him. he get very angry and didn't even want to see me again. and we had no communication at all, till yesterday. he came in my room and we were ...
A. 22 September 2010: Well I'm sorry to tell you this, but you do have some psychiatric problems. This is not normal. Please go talk to a therapist. Incest is a terrible route to take, it is not condusive to normal healthy family life. You are very unhealthy to be ... (read in full...)
Reconsidering getting married...
Q. Hey guys! Im about to be married in less than a month but having doubts... I love my fiance and his family with all my heart but there is only one thing holding me back...he's really bad about feeding into the attention other women give him. At the ...
A. 22 September 2010: DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH IT.
This is serious. Marriage is a life long commitment, he doesn't sound 100% committed. He's young, too young to be getting married. Chances are he will cheat or you two will end up in divorce.
Why marry now? Wait ... (read in full...)
My wife is driving me crazy! advice please!
Q. My wife is driving me crazy. I love her so much but she is the most stubborn woman on earth. We met, fell in love, got married. Everything was perfect. Now, with the stress of my job, her starting nursing school again, oh and us getting pregnant. ...
A. 15 September 2010: You try being pregnant, work and go to school. I'm a nurse. Nursing school is like boot camp, it wipes you out.
If you were a good husband you'd make sure she didn't have to work. Look after her financially and make her feel secure - what do you e... (read in full...)
After the breakup I feel like I have no control over my emotions
Q. I'm having such a hard time letting go. Last week I posted about my now exbf that I found responding to craigslist ads. I was angry, hurt, and all the emotions that go along with it. I cut contact with him last week and have had little contact, ...
A. 13 September 2010: Ok, when you feel like this go re-read every ones messages to you in your last thread. There is NO WAY it was spam. He went online and propositioned others for sex. You deserve so much better, but have to find a spot inside your heart that believes ... (read in full...)
Pain as the other woman
Q. I became the other woman quite by chance. My lover pursued me for many months. I did the right thing and sent him back to his wife and family. Now, I am the only one in agony. I just want to have contact with him as I did before, but he is very ...
A. 12 September 2010: You can inflict similar pain by telling his wife about the whole situation.
Honestly, he does not owe you anything. He was/is an unavailable man. He used you and disrespected his wife. I'd be angry more than upset. I wouldn't fall into this typ... (read in full...)
Something is missing in the marriage I feel like I need something else
Q. Okay so I married my husband in 98. I was 19 he was 24. After 6 years and 2 kids I wasn't happy. We had some problems in the bedroom. I always felt like he didn't want me. I never cheated and I was a stay at home mom. My husband worked and did ...
A. 11 September 2010: Okay the one constant in this whole situation is you. The environment, the men, the relationships change; but you're still not happy. Maybe it has nothing to do with the relationships you are in. Sounds like you have a great man, a loyal and loving ... (read in full...)
I gave my daughter the wrong advice and don't know how to make things right
Q. Three girls on the bus the other day told my daughter that her boyfriend was cheating on her. One of the girls has a brother that I think he is a little bit interested in my daughter and I think that she was trying to see if maybe my daughter was ...
A. 11 September 2010: I think you should be encouraging your daughter to focus on school and become an independent educated woman. NOT, thinking about silly things like boys at this time. Her being well educated and independent will give her better options in the future ... (read in full...)
Needs advice on how to get over an abusive relationship
Q. Hi. everyone. So here it goes.. I have been broken up with my ex for almost about a yr now but I can't stop thinking of what happened and how mad I am for putting myself in those shoes. I always told myself I would never date a guy who was abusive ...
A. 6 September 2010: I took counseling after an 8 year abusive relationship. Its helping soooo much. This is the best way :)... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex might change when our baby is born?
Q. im 22 weeks pregnant , i was seeing a guy for a year and a half and then we brok up, I got messages from him saying he missed me and so we ended up tgether , i fell pregnant , when i told him he was so happy , always texting me and ringing and ...
A. 6 September 2010: Big hug hun!
You need to surround yourself with family and friends right now. All the time. You need someone to cook for you so you can keep this baby nourished. Get ready for the baby, start nesting and looking after yourself. How wonderfu... (read in full...)
Lost in high school, lost in life generally
Q. I'm 14 and I really need help.I'm going through a really bad time in my life right now and I don't know what to do. Life sucks pretty much. All the stress from school and pressure i put on myself to do well in school is really getting to me. It's ...
A. 5 September 2010: Okay kido,
First you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. At your age you do NOT need to know what you will be doing the rest of your life. That's what your teenage years are all about - figuring out some basic things about yourself... (read in full...)
I know I should end it with the married man but I'm afraid of being alone!
Q. Hi, To cut a long story short to start with my husband left me in Feb 2010 for the woman he left his 1st wife for 14 years ago. I met a guy - call him David - at the beginning of June, started off well, we really hit it off. Couldn't see ...
A. 5 September 2010: Good decision! You're on the right path. I know of this 32 year old girl who has been dating her married man for 11 years. He's never left his wife, his wife knows of her, but the wife reaps the rewards of the marriage - the house, the cars and the ... (read in full...)
Evidence that he's looked at escort sites and had a Craiglist ad
Q. Hi everyone. Have been reading the site because I'm just so lost right now. I ended things with my boyfriend of 10 months earlier this week. There have been some trust issues in the past which I guess is what led up to this. This past Tues...
A. 5 September 2010: Hey hun. I am soooo proud of you! See, alot of the time women end up rationalizing these things, telling themselves little stories to convince themselves they must be mistaken. And, if they don't do it themselves,then their guys do it for them - by ... (read in full...)
Confused: Does he like me? Or am I a booty call?
Q. So this guy asked me out last Friday, and we were supposed to have a date on last Sunday. An emergency on my end happened and I tried to back out of the date as gracefully as I could under the circumstances through texting. He meant to reply, "you ...
A. 5 September 2010: Read these two books "Why men marry bitches" and "he's just not into you"....and "what men really want". It'll help you decipher male actions/words. Okay its still early, so you can't for 100% says the "you bitch" text was meant that way or that... (read in full...)
I want a baby even though he has 8 kids. Will this be a problem?
Q. I have been with my partner for amonth or so and he has 8 kids and 1 on the way very sn .these children r al 2 different women.we r very open about life and the hope that it holds for us,but i want a child 2 him and a future.i am not a selfish ...
A. 5 September 2010: You need to pick wiser. 9 kids by three women is not a responsible man. You'll just be a fourth woman with his baby. You've known him 1 month, this is nutty. Behave like a proper respectful woman and conduct yourself appropriately. Pick men more ... (read in full...)
Is he just being a flirt?
Q. This guy i have liked for ages has recently split with his gf I have slept with him b4 his gf was even on road, so yeah backed off a bit when found out he was seeing someone, anyway even when he was with her he was sending things 2 me on fb like ...
A. 5 September 2010: Why get all excited and giddy over physical gestures like that? It doesn't mean he likes you enough to be his gf, it doesn't mean he will love you, it doesn't mean anything except that he wasnt to have sex with you. Don't confuse a mans physical ... (read in full...)
Broke up because he was 12 years older than me
Q. Is there anything I can do to convince him about the age? That I am willing to work with him. I have tried everything but still to no avail. He said the age difference would always be there. He is 12 years older than I am. It hurts so much because ...
A. 5 September 2010: Well my bf is 9 years older - but we connected on an emotional level. We're relatively at the same maturity level (he being less mature and me more for our ages).
Honestly, I think the age excuse is just that, an excuse. I don't know how long you... (read in full...)
I know I should end it with the married man but I'm afraid of being alone!
Q. Hi, To cut a long story short to start with my husband left me in Feb 2010 for the woman he left his 1st wife for 14 years ago. I met a guy - call him David - at the beginning of June, started off well, we really hit it off. Couldn't see ...
A. 5 September 2010: Just remember that he's sleeping with another woman, his wife. He has a relationship, loves her, hugs her and talks to her. She's his priority. You're a side desert he sees here and there. Don't you think you deserve better? This is relatively new, ... (read in full...)
Ever get jealous of people that get engaged or are married?
Q. I see on facebook how people I know from the past are getting married or just recently engaged. I'm a 24 year old single dude, and I get down when I see this. I feel happy for them, but I get a little sad. I had this one relationship (I liked this ...
A. 4 August 2010: I just think that in a few years over half of them will be getting divorced.
24 is so young for a guy...go date and marry in 5-10 years.... (read in full...)
Confused, hurt, angry, worried all at the same time!!! What now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We bought a house almost 2 years ago. It's in his name as my credit wasn't good enough to be used though my income was for th loan. Anyway, recently, I had an atv accident that he has been blaming himself ...
A. 31 July 2010: You need to get counseling for yourself. What I read shows just how confused and insecure of a person you are. This is not normal. You are letting this man make a fool out of you. Take partial ownership of the house, kick him out, get counseling.... (read in full...)
Does this mean he really wants to see me?
Q. I really like this guy and he has expressed an interest in me too. But, we stopped talking about 3 months ago because situations were too difficult. He travels a lot for his job so he's rarely in town and I had some things going on too. Anyway, ...
A. 30 July 2010: Since you did the asking first, I suspect he isn't that interested. "I can make time" is a lousy answer. If he truly was interested he'd be making plans left and right with you.
Read 'He's just not that into you"...its a great book that saved me... (read in full...)
I've been short of breath for a couple of days, when should I see a doctor?
Q. For the past few days it feels like I've had a shortness of breath, and I can't figure out what it is. I'm extremely scared, and I don't know when I should go to the doctor. Could it be because I haven't exercised in about a month?? Before that I ...
A. 29 July 2010: You might have a chest infection which would require antibiotics. Go to the doctor hun!... (read in full...)
He turns his phone off at night - does this mean he is cheating on me?
Q. Do you think a guy is cheating if he use to turn his phone off at night during our relationship? He saids it was because he didn't want no one to wake him up while he was sleeping or no one look through his phone, meaning his parents because they ...
A. 28 July 2010: TIME TO MOVE ON
5 years and you're still not married - your still a secret to most of his family. When exactly will he tell everyone about you, when will they even accept you?
It sounds to me like you have some deeper issues than this relati... (read in full...)
Should I marry someone who betrayed me like this?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me 1 time. We've been dating for nearly 5 years, and we recently got engaged. I found out that a year ago he slept with this girl, after major flirting went on between them for a few months (i.e., ...
A. 27 July 2010: So he made out with another woman, kissed her breasts, caressed her thighs, held her tightly against his body while he put himself into her body. It got hot and heavy, the lust, the guilt, the sweet feeling of a womans body. She moaned and grabbed ... (read in full...)
Condoms! We don't use them, why do you have them?
Q. Serious problem! I've been in a relationship with my guyfriend for the last three years, and during this time we have never used condoms during intimacy. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered condoms in his nightstand, and he hurriedly rushed over ...
A. 18 July 2010: Screams cheating to me and at the very least immoral behaviour in allowing his friend to cheat there. Thats such a far fetched story, I'd be going postal right now finding out if and when he cheated. Do not accept inadequate answers...listen to your ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 and my parents are still too strict!
Q. Hi I am 20 years old male and soon im gonna turn 21 and my parents are still to strict with me. If I style my hair then they get disapointed from me and my mom does not talk to me and my father yells at me till I get rid of the style.... im not allo...
A. 18 July 2010: I have the very same parents! It was horrible because on top of the paranoia, criticism and strict rules, they also fought alot. So there was a lot of anger in the house. I ran away at 17 and finished university at 21. Got my masters at 25. Th... (read in full...)
Why did she dump me on Facebook?
Q. Okay, okay. Seems that my 4 month rocky relationship ended. Although, how is a lil surprising, and schocking to me. First of all, I am not a fan of texting, and that was our means of communicating. facebook, is also a detriment to the relationship. ...
A. 18 July 2010: It sounds like you are not very good at communicating...you text instead of call her. You don't let her know in advance your plans, you don't INCLUDE her in your saturday plans...
sounds like you were not too interested in her. I wouldn't continue... (read in full...)
Stuck in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids
Q. Dear Cupid i am in big problem with my marraige, very unhappy and uncomfortable. I have been married for 11 years and have 2 little boys aged 28 months and 14 months old. we have always had our differences and rarely we could agree to a disagree...
A. 15 July 2010: My parents stayed for the "sake of the kids" while abusing verbally/physically/mentally each other. I wish they had just gone separate ways. I have dealt with a great deal of depression and ended up in an abusive relationship myself (for... (read in full...)
12 years and 4 kids.. now how did I go from the wife to the mistress?
Q. 12 years and 4 kids.. now how did I go from the wife to the mistress. We broke up 6 months ago due to him cheating with this 20 year female and now as we supposed to be trying to work things out he has moved her in with him. Now we took a step back ...
A. 15 July 2010: That is horrible! Sorry you are going through this!
To be honest, I think the writer below is correct. He gets the best of both worlds - you don't want divorce so he gets to talk to you and see his kids, he gets the young girl to have sex with at ... (read in full...)
Is it too late to call off the wedding?
Q. i'm 28 years old. i think i got myself into a situation. the person i married isn't very loving, very selfish and complains when he actually has to do something for someone that is sick, me. i am so mad at myself for putting myself into this ...
A. 15 July 2010: NOPE NOT TOO LATE AT ALL!! I'm your age and was in a similar situation. My boyfriend of 8 years was very impatient with me, he'd rush me through stores, he'd make me wait hours for him, he'd get annoyed when he had to do little things for me, i... (read in full...)
Tormented by girlfriend's sexual past
Q. hi guys. i know this has been throughly discussed here before.. i already researched about it and read almost all of the responses to the queries. and honestly it helped a lot. i have a girlfriend now who i love very much. i really adore her and ...
A. 15 July 2010: Think step by step about your first sexual encounter. When she had her first sexual encounter, who were you seeing/having sex with...think about the details of that. Now, does it change anything. Does it change how you feel about her? When she... (read in full...)
Should I marry her and have kids or live alone?
Q. Well, my question is probably not that different from most. I had a relationship with a girl for 6,5 years. Around 3 years we broke-up because she wanted to marry and have kids and I just didn't know if I wanted to do that (I already have a s...
A. 15 July 2010: Of course she will be happy. Whoever she ends up married to, you would assume would be because they are in love. Kids are a product of that love. There are many what ifs - the ones to do with her you need to put aside. She has to figure those out. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend becomes angry and defensive when I try to talk to him!
Q. Im not able to communicate with my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years now. Yes, hes always had this issue so its not like I didnt know about it however, now that we are in the middle of a serious relationship, it bothers me. Exampl...
A. 14 July 2010: Why be in a relationship where someone is not connecting with you, not sweet and kind to you? Is this how you want your life to be? His behaviour is HORRIBLE towards you. Walk away hun, this not a healthy relationship at all. I'd be scared to marry ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his female friend used to be FWB!
Q. My boyfriend of a few months has a female best friend, Sally (pseudonym), that he used to hook up with intermittently but never formally dated. Sally moved to a different state for school and he ended up following her out here a year ago to find a ...
A. 14 July 2010: You are being too relaxed about this. 1. Your boyfriend should not be friends with someone he's slept with. Its not respectful towards you and it just opens the door for cheating. 2. He has trouble being open with you. Thats a red flag. Why ... (read in full...)
I think my sister saw me!
Q. Hey, well here's the deal. When I was in my room with the door closed, I was watching some porn.. with my penis showing and in erection. I wasn't masturbating but my sis pushed the door, she didn't look directly and walked off. I'm traumatized that ...
A. 14 July 2010: You're sister is 22 buddy - she's had boyfriends, she's had sex, she's seen men masturbate, she's watched porn. She a grown woman.
Truly believe me when I say that it is NO big deal! She wont say anything (if she saw anything). She has enough l... (read in full...)
Should I marry her and have kids or live alone?
Q. Well, my question is probably not that different from most. I had a relationship with a girl for 6,5 years. Around 3 years we broke-up because she wanted to marry and have kids and I just didn't know if I wanted to do that (I already have a s...
A. 13 July 2010: Well I think she is a smart woman for moving out. She is 32, knows what she wants (babies and a husband)and is taking herself out of a situation where she will not get a family. Do her a favor and let her go, don't take her back and do not contact ... (read in full...)
My heart is broken, how can I get over this?
Q. How do you get over a broken heart? 'Cause right now... mine is shattered! The guy i loved, just wanted me to give him oral sex... again... i admit i did it only once though, but then all he wanted to do was get me in the sheets. He said we were ...
A. 12 July 2010: Thats why before you're 18 do not do anything sexual with a guy. Once an adult, wait at least 6 months before you do anything sexual with a guy - this helps weed out the ones who are around only for sex and the ones who like you for you. I wait 6 ... (read in full...)
Husband in Love with me and his old girlfriend, help
Q. My husband and I have been married 4 years separate for 3 years on and off. After all this time we have finally decided to give it a try again living under the same roof he moved back in to the home. I had kicked him out 3 years ago because he was ...
A. 11 July 2010: I would end it right there. He loves her, how is there space for you in his life. I wouldn't settle for second best. I deserve better and am worth a mans full attention and heart. So do you.... (read in full...)
We're engaged and pregnant so why would he say something like this?
Q. hi, I am engaged and my fiancee and I live together, however I am currently three months pregnant, he say's to me just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you should have children, help me please my thoughts today are very dark and I am ...
A. 9 July 2010: You're not making sense. Did he says this as a general statement that 'yeah even though people are in relationships, that doesn't mean they need/should/will have kids" or is he referring to you? Meaning you should have an abortion?
Sounds like he'... (read in full...)
My life is out of control!!!
Q. Let me start with a brief backround. (I was diagnosed with OCD when i was a teen right now i am 25 years old and still suffer with ocd. I am currently going in grad school ; live with my parents, and have a curfew. Also my boyfriend just ended our 5 ...
A. 9 July 2010: I grew up in the same environment. My parents fought alot (horrible fights), I couldn't have friends, I had to be home right after school. All I could do was sit at home with them (listening to them fight and then take it out on us kids). We ... (read in full...)
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