Time to put my big girl panties on!
Q. I've been with my husband since I was 19 and he was 35. Now I'm 24 and he is 40. He did not show his temper until after I got pregnant with our son. His anger problem is getting worst. Not just that, he is cold with me. I thought we were do...
A. 6 November 2010: surround yourself with good family and friends. You need more support now than ever. I think what he has done is beyond horrible - he's verbally abusive, distant, unaffectionate. Its all abusive. God, at 24 you have your whole life ahead of yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's behavior has turned me into a clingy, obsessed person. I hate that!
Q. My boyfriend messed me around for a year, flirting with girls, metting up with his ex in secret. We talked it through and we're still going out, but it has turned me into a clingy, obsessed and overthoughtful person. And I HATE that. I hate what I ...
A. 1 November 2010: Its a problem you've created for yourself by STAYING with him.
Any time a man makes you feel like you are NOT the center of his world, its time to walk away...... (read in full...)
Only one date in eight years; need some reassurance
Q. Hi. I am 34, single and never been married. I have had one relationship, with a woman, for 10 months, eight and a half years ago. Since then, I have been on one date. I have made friends, like I had an older gay guy friend for two years. Then...
A. 31 October 2010: try meetup.com....people meet up with other people do do whatever their hobbies are. Thousands of groups and lots of people to meet.
I think part of your problem may be anxiety? People aren't that bad, it just takes a little confidence in yourself... (read in full...)
How do I talk with my mom after her stomping out of my house?
Q. there has always been tension between my mom and my husband because he is 2 yrs older than her. she hates him 4 that which in turn makes him dislike her too. last night after dark as soon as our dinner was done my parents made an unannouced visit. ...
A. 30 October 2010: I'm sorry but I think your husband was rude. YOu first ask everyone if they want to eat - if they don't, great and if they do you ration things out, make more food or make something else. YOur husband was rude.... (read in full...)
How do I know if I should salvage this at all?
Q. I have been married for ten years....sometimes he's been great, alot of times not. i recently kicked him out and started seeing an ex. (well not really, i just wanted to show him i really could find another.) stupid kinda, i know, but we agreed t...
A. 25 October 2010: I re-read you post, he physically and verbally abuses you? Hun, what are you upset about!!? Take him for alimony and child support (having sex with another before the marriage is dissolved constituted adultry). You can do better than be with a man ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I should salvage this at all?
Q. I have been married for ten years....sometimes he's been great, alot of times not. i recently kicked him out and started seeing an ex. (well not really, i just wanted to show him i really could find another.) stupid kinda, i know, but we agreed t...
A. 25 October 2010: Talked to my fiance about this...
1. It sounds like you jerked him around quite a bit during the relationship...It doesn't sound like he was the only party at fault. You played a dangerous game and it turned out quite badly. Rather than being ma... (read in full...)
How can I make an income, I'm so tired of being broke!
Q. My husband has a full time job but we are always broke 3 days after he gets paid. i cant GO to work because he says he cant handle our 3 kids on his own. i also dont have a computer (i am writing this from my phone). i need to find something i can ...
A. 23 October 2010: Go to school part-time. Over 5 years you can get yourself a career - nursing, doctors assistant, dental hygienist (they earn $45 an hour)...etc...... (read in full...)
Why won't he just leave me alone?
Q. Hi, i was seeing this guy for a few months, i then saw he was quite a jealous person and was after control of me. Slowly i have begun to detatch from him and told him we are not compatible and just to leave it now, as for another thing i dont think ...
A. 23 October 2010: YOu need to change your phone number, block his emails, delete him from facebook and not hang out around places/people he does.
Hope this helps.... (read in full...)
I think one night stands are disgusting! Am I normal?
Q. Even when I was a teenager I never beleived in 1 night stands and never had sex with a woman I didn't at least care about. I hear about so many cases of cheating, group sex and just fucking someone just for the hell of it. I find it a bit ...
A. 23 October 2010: I wish there were more guys like you - you value sex.
I've had girlfriends who have slepts with 70+ people. I on the other hand have only had two relationships, I just can't do it, for the life of me it seems disgusting without actually hav... (read in full...)
He lied about his age and about being previously married. Is this salvagable?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months. About a month ago, I found out that he lied to me about his age. He initially told me he was 35, and when we first began dating he made a really big deal about the age difference ("Are you sure my ...
A. 22 October 2010: You're not even dating him a year. GET OUT!!!!!
He is lying about very HUGE things. These are big issues and you're making them very small - justifying this obviously to make yourself feel better & not break up with him.
He has some major i... (read in full...)
Friend's a tart, how do I tell her?
Q. Ok I have a new friend who I met through my child's school... I think we will end up being really good friends, she's really on my wave length... The trouble is she's single and has signed up to loads of dating sites, she keeps meeting loads of ...
A. 22 October 2010: Tell her to read "He's just not that into you" and "Why men marry bitches". It'll spell it out nice and clear for her - respecting your body and yourself will lead to men respecting you more.... (read in full...)
I feel so humiliated... but at 58 it will be so difficult for me to leave him.
Q. Four years ago I found that my Husband of then 35 years had been having an affair for 7 years... we have tried to make a go of it, we go on holidays.. share our passion for gardening/children/ grandchildren etc and are about to celebrate our 39th ...
A. 21 October 2010: I'm a 27 year old nurse, a large group of nurses I work with are in their late 50's - mid 60's...they're all getting divorced or just divorced in the last few years. They are having a blast!! Going on vacation together (there's like 7/8 of them), ... (read in full...)
Life doesn't feel normal any more...
Q. I'm a 20 year old guy and i'm having problems with my health, i've been feeling sick ever since last year october after when i slept with dis other girl and the rubber broke, i did hiv testing at 3,6,9 and 12 months and they all came bck negative, ...
A. 20 October 2010: HIV is not the problem. You need to get a check up of all your systems. HIV sero-conversion occurs within the firs 6 months. A year later you are negative. YOU are 110% not HIV positive. There is another problem that you need to seek medical care ... (read in full...)
Does he want to get me pregnant or is he just traditional?
Q. my partner and i of nearly 2 years were talking about my friend who was pregnant and got dumped by her boyfriend. he then said he would have freaked out like my friends bf and done the same thing and goes, i hope youre not pregnant. then i asked ...
A. 20 October 2010: You are too young to be thinking about this. Focus on your education and career. If he said he'd do the same thing as your friend, then you know his heart isn't in the right place. If he said that he'll keep the baby with you and marry you, then his ... (read in full...)
Shadows from my past came knocking at my door, what should I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 16 years we have children, and well at least I was happy and I truly loved her. Many years ago I caught her cheating it broke my heart but I forgave her and we continue to live together and we were actually happy. ...
A. 18 October 2010: You know, sometimes we convince ourselves we love someone and had it better with someone else when true LOVE is right there in front of us. Love isn't just a feeling, its how someone treats you, respects you and cares for you. I thought my ex of... (read in full...)
Is going forward with a wedding, while keeping a big secret from one's fiancee a bad idea?
Q. Cheated on my fiancee a bit over a year ago. Have been together for 5 years. We got engaged over the summer and are getting married next month. She doesn't know that I had a short affair while we were dating (4 years into the relationship). I think ...
A. 18 October 2010: I would want to know, it would kill me, but I'd want to know so that I can make an informed decision whether I want to proceed with the marriage or not. I think you're being selfish in not telling her. How painful for someone she trusts and loves to ... (read in full...)
Would him showing his friends naked pics of me be a deal breaker?
Q. I just found out my boyfriend of 2yrs showed a bunch of his friends and co-workers pictures of my breasts that he and I took during our first year of dating. I don't know at what point he showed these pictures--possibly during a big fight...or ...
A. 17 October 2010: My bf refuses to show my naked photos to his friends. I've asked why even though he showed naked pictures of his past lovers to them?
He said because he loves me and respects me and wants no guy to look at me that way.
what you bf did shows... (read in full...)
Since , Mom died, out family has been in crisis! How can I turn things around?
Q. My mom died in a drunk driving accident (other guy was drunk) seven years ago when me and my twin were 14 and our younger brother was 11. Our dad has been sober for about a week of the last seven years. Once, when I was 18, my dad told me the only ...
A. 14 October 2010: You know, I have a very dysfunctional family also. Your dad is hurting. Your brothers have picked their paths...you just have to be there for them now to support them and be an ear.
Its time you take care of yourself. Start with getting good gra... (read in full...)
How can I stop caring about what my ex boyfriend says to me?
Q. I still love my ex. I broke it off with him, 'cause he was too jealous. It was tiresome for me. I know he wasn't the one, and that he's a jerk, but I love him, so still, what he tells me hurts me. The thing is, he knows that I've been meeting new...
A. 14 October 2010: Yes, he sounds like my ex. He told me that men will use me and I'm used.
Look, he's being extremely manipulative. The best thing you can do is to end all contract and surround yourself around good and positive people.
He sounds right an ass. So... (read in full...)
Wife is driving me crazy! Can't I have a morning to myself?
Q. My wife is driving me crazy. I have been unemployed for the last few months and finally found a new job that I started last week. When I was off work, I woke up with the kids each morning because I'm a pretty early riser. I would get them r...
A. 10 October 2010: don't know how old the kids are, but can't you just tell them to wake up and play without waking mummy/daddy up? Why don't both of you sleep in? ... (read in full...)
Peoples sudden ability to rip apart ones heart that they loved, one time!
Q. How is it so easy for humans to just fucking shred the life and heart out of another in any instance, but im speaking of 2 people as deeply in love as you can get, who stay with each other for along time, one of them starts to lose it, but they do ...
A. 9 October 2010: I think you might have driven her away with your overly aggressiveness? You seem rather confrontational. No sane woman wants that over the long term. A calm happy partner = more peaceful happy life.
Peoples feelings change. There are millions... (read in full...)
Divorced, but can't sell house or move on with my life
Q. I have a dilemma that is not truly a relationship issue, but kinda. I am recently divorced, and am with a new partner who is great and we intend to marry late next year. The only remaining issue with my former marriage is my marital house is on ...
A. 7 October 2010: short sell it.... (read in full...)
Help.. broke up with bf and miss him desperately
Q. hi. i had been dating someone for 2 1/2 years - let's call him jim. jim and i met online, both in relationships we were tired of. so we broke up with our respective others to get together. a week later, we had our first date. it was perfect. in the ...
A. 6 October 2010: He needs to be just as upset, missing you, unable to sleep and all that. BUT, he isn't.
This is sad hun, but he doesn't love you the way you love him. Its so utterly horrible and there just isn't anything you can do but get through the pain.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend used to use Escorts, should I worry?
Q. Just looking for a little advice and input from others, especially other women. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend(33) for 6 months now although we've been seein each other for 9 and basically live together at his place although I have my own ...
A. 5 October 2010: I'd keep my feelings in check. Infact, why even date a guy with such a sexual history. There are loads of perfectly normal guys out there who don't and never have seen prostitutes. Its just plain gross on so many levels.
I'd be very careful ... (read in full...)
This other man gives me life again...
Q. I married my best friend 15 years ago (we were both 18) and we've since had three kids. Our two oldest are 12 (fraternal twins) and our youngest is 9. Recently, I've been having feelings of doubt for our marriage; these feelings came about when I ...
A. 5 October 2010: Also, imagine how you would feel if your husband was the one in this situation and wrote this letter...... (read in full...)
This other man gives me life again...
Q. I married my best friend 15 years ago (we were both 18) and we've since had three kids. Our two oldest are 12 (fraternal twins) and our youngest is 9. Recently, I've been having feelings of doubt for our marriage; these feelings came about when I ...
A. 5 October 2010: No contact with the other guy. Go back to your life and work on your marriage and relationship with your kids. NO CONTACT with the other guy - no texts, phone calls, emails or dinner.... (read in full...)
Whenever we go out I'm afraid my b/f is looking at other girls
Q. How can i get over my insecurities? Every time me and my boyfriend go out to anywhere out of our house i cant help but to think he's looking at all other girls. he's admitted to looking at other girls in the past but he says he hasnt really don...
A. 4 October 2010: I disagree with the male posters here. Out of respect for your gf/wife you should never in front of her oogle/check out or look at other women. Its disrespectful, causes confidence issues and takes away from bonding.
WAnting me and only me while... (read in full...)
Why are the girls at school, so mean to me?
Q. y dont girls like me, at school there mean to me, call me names for no reason and dont really know me at all. Im in the football A team, top 5 for athletics in my year, Im not disgusting, Im very polite and haven't said a mean word to any girl. ...
A. 3 October 2010: Because you don't stand up for yourself. YOu need to have some attitude, be confident and when you talk back - say it loudly so everyone hears you. Sorry hun, but I've noticed in life the people that are firm, sometimes complain and call people on ... (read in full...)
I feel like my wife lied to me about having an STD, how should I bring it up?
Q. My wife of 4 years returned from her pap smear with irregular cells. This in itself is terrifying. We found out they weren't cancer, so that was a huge relief. My question: when my wife told me she had the irregular cells, she then said, "I to...
A. 30 September 2010: Not all forms of HPV are genital warts.... (read in full...)
I had an abortion. Will getting pregnant help me ease the pain I feel?
Q. I had an abortion two months ago, now I am so depresed, nobody knew about my abortion, and I live in a place in the united states with my two kids and my husband. I feel really bad after my abortion, I has been thinking about getting pregnant again, ...
A. 30 September 2010: Jilly, I think what you said is very good advise, but I can't help but feel that justifying an abortion as being "the best for another human being" is misguided. The fetus/child was never given a voice to state what was best for him/her. I g... (read in full...)
My mother's promiscuity is influencing my life and my sisters' lives!
Q. I live with my mother and younger sisters who are sixteen and fourteen. My parents divorced when we were young but I am the only one who remembers a time where dad lived with us. My mom is truly promiscious that it borderlines prostitution. Sh...
A. 29 September 2010: Talk to your sisters. Explain to them that this is not normal and healthy behavior. Keep reiterating this over and over, be a good example to them. ... (read in full...)
He wants a break, but what if he doesn't have any answers by the end of the week?
Q. Hi, I am looking for some guidance and maybe some encouragement during the hardest week of my life. My bf and I have been together for almost a year and 8 months and just recently he has decided he needs time to think and we are taking a break f...
A. 28 September 2010: Not a good situation! When a man is spending less and less time with you and then finally drops this type of bomb, I'd think its time for YOU to break up with HIM.
Look, he obviously isn't serious about this relationship or interested enough t... (read in full...)
My parents think the sooner I'm gone the better
Q. my parents seem to hate me. i mean some times are really good and i really love them but others they just seem to hate me. i always argue with my mum and she always gets me down. according to her i can't do anything right. 'i'm fat, i am stupid' ...
A. 28 September 2010: I grew up in a similar environment where my brothers were treated like gold and I, the oldest had very little freedom and was always criticized by them. Its continued to this day and I'm 28! The best advise I can give you, which is what I did, i... (read in full...)
Do guys not like me because I'm not stick thin?
Q. hey, i'm confused about myself right now! I'm a freshman in high school, and i'm 5'6" weighing 160 pounds. i'm not obese, but im not stick thin and i would say that muscles make up most of my body. The thing is, i cant seem to get a boyfriend just ...
A. 27 September 2010: Well men are attracted to healthy and confident girls. STay fit and within a healthy weight. Nothing is sexier than a fit girl with some curves. ... (read in full...)
Don't men sometimes lose their erection because of the girl?
Q. My boyfriend is in his late forties, I am a few years younger. He sometimes loses his erection, and today he lost it as soon as I removed my clothes. We had already been doing it and then bam, it was gone. The timing made me feel like it was ...
A. 27 September 2010: I asked my 37 year old BF - he said that with time men become comfortable. Its not you, but its you. As in, he's used to seeing you the way you are...so it becomes less of a stimuli. You have to do new things to spice things up & to stimulate him ... (read in full...)
What would you change if you had a time machine?
Q. Hi, Just a general question. What would you change if you had a Time Machine? Hypothetically, if you could go back in time armed with this knowledge and understanding of mistakes you both made in a relationship and start all over, what would...
A. 25 September 2010: I would have dumped that guy I dated for 8 years after the first 4, worked one year and gone straight into a masters program and been halfway done through my PhD now. I'd also have learned a third/fourth language. Oh, and learned to drive - when my ... (read in full...)
The guy I am dating doesn't want to be exclusive with me
Q. I've met a guy on a dating site and have been dating him for a month now. Things are going pretty well and we've been seeing each other several times a week. I've slept at his place a few times, met some of his friends and I really like him (he's ...
A. 25 September 2010: You slept too soon with him, he didn't get to chase you and appreciate what he ha, so he's ready to move on.
Now the way he's leading you on is a big red flag. End this right now, there is no hope in 'convincing' him to fall in love with you.
... (read in full...)
Why do men treat tall girls with disfavor?
Q. I am a tall girl, but I'm not fat. I'm 5ft8 and 130 lbs. I'm 28, my husband is 38. My husband says I should lose weight and that my vagina is too big. But I'm not overweight, but I've definitely lost muscle and added fat since we've met. So I ...
A. 25 September 2010: Your husband is mentally abusing you. I don't think you see it though as that - you see it as criticism only. From an outside objective perspective, what you wrote, describes mental abuse. A good and loving man would not DREAM of telling you this ... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for him but I'm struggling to get over his sleeping around while we were not together
Q. First of all thank you for any advice you can give me. I have a 3mth old baby and her dad and i arent together.but recently we started talking again after sooooo many downs and i think were cool now. But he told me he slept with different girls all ...
A. 24 September 2010: REad "he's just not that into you" and "Why men marry bitches". Don't do anything that will make you feel upset and uncomfortable. The truth is, if he truly loved you he would have been with you. NO ifs and or buts. REad those two books, they'll ... (read in full...)
He keeps me around but I watch from the distance as he is still dating others!
Q. Hello. I'm really screwed up. I'm in love with my best friend, and he claims to love me too, but I'm not sure what to do. Because we stay in two separate states, we haven't made anything official, until I move closer in around a month or two. We ...
A. 24 September 2010: REad the books "he's just not that into you" and " why men marry bitches". It'll help with your grief, how to be treated by a man and explain the red flags. What you are seeing is the mother of all red flags. Now its time to treat yourself with ... (read in full...)
After a mistake
Q. Ok here goes Married for 18 years. 7 years ago I had an affaire ( Yes, I think i was in love not just sex). wife found out 5 years ago after it was over. Never had one before or since. Still married coming up on 19th year. But, She can't let in go ...
A. 24 September 2010: Imagine you found out five years ago that your wife had had an affair an affair which lasted 7 years. You name it, she hung out with the guy, said I love you's, made passionate love with him.... HOW would you feel?
Be more empathetic here. It... (read in full...)
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