A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:Let me start with a brief backround. (I was diagnosed with OCD when i was a teen right now i am 25 years old and still suffer with ocd. I am currently going in grad school ; live with my parents, and have a curfew. Also my boyfriend just ended our 5 year relationship)Ever since my boyfriend broke up with me three months ago all i have wanted to do is escape the pain i have started going out everyday i started drinking but now i just go out and hang out with my friends. i usually come home by 11pm but my mother is causing so many fights. She is like you are never home, alll you want to do is go out and have fun, when do you plan on stopping and being normal. NORMAL to her is coming home going to school and going out ONCE in a while whether that is for coffee or a drink. All she does is work come home and argue 24/7 with my father..SHE WANTS TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. EVERYTIME i try to go out she is like when are you coming home i'm tired i wanna go to sleep. Or if i spend 24/7 with my friends to escape the pain she is like "oh ur never home, when will this stop, this is not grown up behavior" I dont know what to hell to do with this woman. i just go out of a controlling relationship, for five years, and now she controls me as she has before for the last 25 years. i cant take it. I am a good kid i went to grad school for her, i have done everything for everyone else.. and now that i wasnt to see my own life she tries to control me. i cant take it i have no solution. I cant leave grad school i have only four classses left to finish. i have a part time job so no money is saved. and i have no house or insurance.. please someone help.. all my life i have tried to please ppl and now that i relaize going to school for my parents, getting skinny for my ex, or being controlled by both of them is not worth it.. i cant take it i need some feed back
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (9 July 2010):
Your mental health is the most important thing. I think it's time to move out as soon as you can. Why can't you postpone school for a year? Maybe take classes slowly so it might be cheaper. I'm sure if you tell them you have difficulties they would be willing to make arrangements. And talk to someone who can help you too.
Save up some money and move out asap. Then work hard for a year and pay for grad school next year. I'm sure the mental relief from not living over that controlling person will push you on to do whatever you need to do. And you will meet lots of new people too. Don't stay in this mess.
Get out as soon as you can for yourself. That's my advice.
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (9 July 2010):
 I grew up in the same environment. My parents fought alot (horrible fights), I couldn't have friends, I had to be home right after school. All I could do was sit at home with them (listening to them fight and then take it out on us kids). We couldn't get away because they were controlling and strict.My brother ended up with OCD and now at 26 depsite having a PhD (like they wanted) he is depressed and suicidal. I got a Masters too and tried living with them while I went to school, but their 6pm curfew at age 25 didn't work for me + they were so negative and controlling and rude to me. It was a headache to live there. I was always nervous and stressed.I too from age 17-25 had an abusive relationship with a controlling boy. It only felt normal becuase thats what I grew up in.Let me tell you - you need to move out. Plain and simple. Finish the semester, start looking for work in the meantime and LEAVE. Thats your best solution. These type of parents, no matter how you explain things, do not change. They have their own mental issues and take it out on their kids.Also, do not get into another controlling relationship. You need to start seeing a counselor to help break that pattern.Third, you're not a kid anymore. At 25 I thought I was a kid, I said this to my friends and they were weirded out. Helping realize that I am a WOMAN and not a kid, aided me greatly in how I tolerated my parents mistreatment. As a grown up, they can give me their opinion, but they cannot hit me/be rude/criticize/call me names and so on....and if they do, I say goodbye and walk away. I go home to my own apartment and my own life surrounded by good and positive people.Hope you can do the same!
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