A
female
age
,
*ife1012
writes:My husband and I have been married 4 years separate for 3 years on and off. After all this time we have finally decided to give it a try again living under the same roof he moved back in to the home. I had kicked him out 3 years ago because he was putting his self on dating sites and talking on the phone with women constantly.He does not do that no more, but the issue now is while we were separated he fell in love with another women and he told me he is confused. We are in the United States and the other woman moved back to her country India before we got back together. He talks with her on the phone sometimes he saids but he states he is confused because he wants his marriage but misses her also. What should I do just try to continue make our marriage work or just stop trying and wait and she if she comes back to the United States how he acts? Right now we are doing everything as husband and wife, but now I am confused. How do I handle this??????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): YOur choice sister1) either you adjust to new reality which is while separation, some other women got him free and he is taken at least some part. And you continue being normal wife to him and do all duties and he will take some time to forget his new love. wait for some months to see the trend.2) if you can not be friend to other women then ask your DH to make a choice but in that case, if his choice is not you then you loose him and your family is broken.choice is yours. this is whymy advise is always that separation is not a good to women. We all know Man is weaker sex as far holding him is concerned. Any women can pick him up easily with care, love affection and little women tricks. he is less emotional as made by GOD and he moves on comparatively easier.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 July 2010):
End it. He's made his decision, and his decision is her. He basically wants you to do his laundry and all the other so called 'duties' that he will think you need to do. He's also been on dating sites as well. He's got the best of both worlds, and you deserve better than this man. He's not confused at all. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing, and you can do better. So leave him, and do better.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (11 July 2010):
 I would end it right there. He loves her, how is there space for you in his life. I wouldn't settle for second best. I deserve better and am worth a mans full attention and heart. So do you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 He's not confused. His actions are telling you that you get the title of wife, but you are only worth 30% of his attention while the far away, perfect, elusive woman gets the other 70%. Your role to him is to enable him to attain the unavailable dream. He doesn't want to make the marriage work. When you say you are doing everything as husband and wife, are you still enjoying sex? I don't see how I can enjoy sex if my husband was being unfaithful. He is continue what he's doing because you keep on letting him. You kicked him out, he got back with you, and still he finds another one to fall in love with. As long as you are still married to him, the only way you could make it work is to tolerate all this, which is highly undesirable. Why do you still want to make it work for him? I don't know why the Indian woman wants to come here knowing that you are still married. If that doesn't work out, your husband will find another woman he can fall in love with. Talk to your husband and ask him why do all that elusive shit when he can pour his heart out to you? It's unfair for you to live like this. He has to decide if he wants to make a monogamous relationship work or be a slave to his animal instinct to love every woman he sees.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 July 2010):
 I think you need to sit him down and tell him he needs to make a choice. Unless, ofcourse you are willing to share his affections with another women.
Personally, I would move out. IF he then realize that it's "me" he wants he will drop the other relationship BEFORE contacting "me" again. I will not share a guy with another women like that.
I think you deserve his FULL attentions, love and affections. He deserves a swift kick in the but.
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