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*erenity80

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Will he leave his wife and get a divorce?

Q.   I really need your advice! I have been with a guy going on 5 years but the problem is he is married. It all started when he came up to me one day at work becuase he said I looked sad and when I told him I had just broken up with my past bf, he ...

A.   7 June 2011: TBH I am left confused by this recent update. This man has now given up everything to show you that he made a mistake and wants to be with you, and you say "I think I have found a little strength now to get away from him" Fact, this guy made so... (read in full...)

I asked my friend out and he refused, now he's lying about dating a model off of facebook. Why is he doing this?

Q.   im close friends with a guy, we've nown each other 2 years and ive helped him out of loads of difficulties. i like him a lot and recently mentioned to him the possibility of dating. he said he would date me but the friendship would be ruined if it ...

A.   6 June 2011: Sounds like it would be good for your friendship if you create a bit of distance and spend your time on other people, perhaps seeing if you can date someone else. Maybe your friendship with this guy can then go back to the way it was before you ... (read in full...)

My gf is fat and its affecting both her and myself. How can we overcome this?

Q.   i saw this girl on my first day in coll... i studied in a boys school.. so jus like that i started liking her... we spoke to each other... and we got into a relationship 7 months later.. now am one year into that relationship... she loves me too ...

A.   5 June 2011: Ah man. What a weak man you are for allowing your friends to tease you for having a fat girlfriend. Now either you stand up for your girlfriend, by standing up to your friends, or you break it off with your girlfriend because she is not your type... (read in full...)

Something from my past has come back to bite me in the butt!

Q.   i am dating this guy since 2 years.. i had a very ugly past which i didnt share completely with my husband.. 6 months bak we gt married against his family's wish.. i mean since the start they were against me .. he is younger than me.. now the ...

A.   5 June 2011: Are you listening to anything that has been said? You haven't done anything wrong. It sounds to me that he wanted to leave you, and used this as the reason. Why are you apologising 100's of times for something that isn't your fault? Get you... (read in full...)

Will he leave his wife and get a divorce?

Q.   I really need your advice! I have been with a guy going on 5 years but the problem is he is married. It all started when he came up to me one day at work becuase he said I looked sad and when I told him I had just broken up with my past bf, he ...

A.   5 June 2011:  You did know he was going to react this way, because you said whenever you've done it before, or he has sensed distance from you, that he says and does what you want to hear. I would say let his actions do the talking. And speak to his wife. Se... (read in full...)

Something from my past has come back to bite me in the butt!

Q.   i am dating this guy since 2 years.. i had a very ugly past which i didnt share completely with my husband.. 6 months bak we gt married against his family's wish.. i mean since the start they were against me .. he is younger than me.. now the ...

A.   4 June 2011: But.. you haven't done anything wrong. You shouldn't have to win him back. Do you think he has used this as an excuse to leave you? It sounds like it, because as far as I can see, you haven't done anything wrong. Maybe you could explain th... (read in full...)

Infrequent sex with wonderful boyfriend

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 19 months and we moved in two months into the relationship, mainly because he was paying lots of money for a room and my two-bed apartment won't fit a lodger since he was here every night from day one. I know that's ...

A.   4 June 2011: Yes definitely. I know stress can be a big influence in sex drive, so if he is very stressed, maybe that can be lowering his drive [but it is also probably fact he has a lower sex drive] Other things to watch out for are that he is not masturba... (read in full...)

Our relationship was built around drugs - now we are clean we don't know what to do.

Q.   I have a very serious issue that has been on my mind for a long long time now, When me and my Boyfriend first got together for the first 2 years we both did Drugs together and then when he finally went to jail for 6 months and he got out we both ...

A.   4 June 2011:  Drugs or no drugs, people move on in their lives and often go in different directions. This is probably the biggest reason for why relationships end - we change as individuals and no longer get the same feelings from the person we're with. Wit... (read in full...)

Girlfriend's drunken one night stand....

Q.   Hi folks, hoping somebody can offer some persepctive in this. I've just found out this morning that my GF had a one night stand with a creep from her work who had been trying it on with her for a while. We were going through a rough patch, she...

A.   3 June 2011: Oh dear. This sounds like one of those really tragic series of events. As much as you might take the moral high ground "I would never do what you did" well that's actually pretty irrelevant because you're two different people and her way of dealing ... (read in full...)

Something from my past has come back to bite me in the butt!

Q.   i am dating this guy since 2 years.. i had a very ugly past which i didnt share completely with my husband.. 6 months bak we gt married against his family's wish.. i mean since the start they were against me .. he is younger than me.. now the ...

A.   3 June 2011: Yeah, I don't understand what you've done either. Maybe if you made some more effort in spelling correctly it would be easier to read, but as far as I can tell, your husband seems to have completely overreacted over something in your past that is ... (read in full...)

Will he leave his wife and get a divorce?

Q.   I really need your advice! I have been with a guy going on 5 years but the problem is he is married. It all started when he came up to me one day at work becuase he said I looked sad and when I told him I had just broken up with my past bf, he ...

A.   2 June 2011: Yes, call his wife and see what she has to say. I bet you will be extremely surprised by what you hear and it will go some way to understanding what the truth is in all this. You know, I don't get it with you kind of women that get led on by marri... (read in full...)

Infrequent sex with wonderful boyfriend

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 19 months and we moved in two months into the relationship, mainly because he was paying lots of money for a room and my two-bed apartment won't fit a lodger since he was here every night from day one. I know that's ...

A.   2 June 2011:  You need to accept this part of him for how he is. There is no other option, it seems. You have to think, is having sex more often more important than everything else good in the relationship. Can you be satisfied spending the rest of your life... (read in full...)

Weed cost me my girl, what should I do now?

Q.   Hello guys I'm in a bit of a dilemma here. I have met this girl at my local youth group and she's lovely and extremely beautiful and I found out she liked me and things went from there like flirting but not bf and gf then just recently I got caught ...

A.   2 June 2011:  See if the girl is still interested by chatting to her, and if she seems interested, ask her if she wants to hang out. Show her when you're hanging out that you're a good guy, funny, easy to be with, boyfriend material. The mistakes you've made... (read in full...)

Will he leave his wife and get a divorce?

Q.   I really need your advice! I have been with a guy going on 5 years but the problem is he is married. It all started when he came up to me one day at work becuase he said I looked sad and when I told him I had just broken up with my past bf, he ...

A.   2 June 2011: This guy, what a loser! He's trying to say you should change before he gets a divorce!? That's unbelievable. Listen.. this guy is a master at deception. He may like being with you, when it suits him, but he does not want to be married to you. If he ... (read in full...)

It bothered me that my BF went to his first love's birthday party. This is a girl he's had feeling for, for many yrs and she's always snubbed him. Thoughts...?

Q.   My boyfriend of two years discovered his first love at age 10. He loved this girl from age 10 to 18. He "moved on" when he went away to college. The love was never returned and throughout that time he told her many times that he loved her and she ...

A.   2 June 2011: Does he usually do church outings? and was it more of a "church" thing than a "birthday" thing? I mean, did he go out of his way to attend her birthday, or did he go to a church event that just happened to be her birthday? If he is a good guy and ... (read in full...)

I am hooked on bad relationships

Q.   I have a serious issue with relationships and commitment. I have had 17 sexual partners since i was 16(im 25 now) 3 of which were serious relationships. Well, that said, the first one was a serious relationship, he left an ex girlfriend for me and ...

A.   2 June 2011:  You're not a bad person, just made a few bad choices in men and sex. You had the strength to leave the last relationship, so it's not like you are powerless to choose for yourself. You know that these kind of relationships damage you and are ... (read in full...)

Do you think its ok to have a couple's profile on Facebook and for me and my BF to share it together?

Q.   My boyfriend made the suggestion last night that we delete both of our facebook profiles and create a new one that is a couples profile and share it together that way the people that add us or that are real true friends will not have a problem ...

A.   2 June 2011: That is just weird to me. Just because you are in a relationship, doesn't mean you cease to be an individual. ... (read in full...)

We broke up. Should I send this mail and poem to my ex? I miss her so much.

Q.   She broke up with me more than 2 weeks ago. We were with each other for 2 years, physically 1 year and 10 months. She didn't give me any real reason, but I think the main reason is long distance. Actually she's just 6 hours away from me by plane....

A.   1 June 2011: Dude, what do you mean did she really mean it? Everything she is feeling is in that letter. You need to accept it. ... (read in full...)

We broke up. Should I send this mail and poem to my ex? I miss her so much.

Q.   She broke up with me more than 2 weeks ago. We were with each other for 2 years, physically 1 year and 10 months. She didn't give me any real reason, but I think the main reason is long distance. Actually she's just 6 hours away from me by plane....

A.   1 June 2011:  Do not give a poem to any girl that breaks up with you, let alone cheats on you. It is a sad cry of desperation and she will end up feeling sorry for you. You don't need her pity. I know it's painful but shut her out of your life and move on.... (read in full...)

My cousin is going to blackmail me unless I do sexual things with her, and she's only 13!

Q.   help cupids! im in a really BAD situation. basically, my cousin is blackmailing me for not doing sexual things with her. let me explain. my cousin admitted to me she loves me (though previously, i think she just adored me and now i know its jus...

A.   1 June 2011: I'm having trouble believing this but if it's true, you need to tell your parents and this needs to be resolved with their help. If she makes an allegation towards you, it will be investigated without hesitation by social services and possibly the ... (read in full...)

I want him but just as a FWB, can this work?

Q.   I'm in a bit of a complicated situation. This is a really long story, fair warning... I suppose this all starts back at the beginning of this school year. I met this guy who we'll call T. T was quiet, had below average attendance, and ...

A.   1 June 2011: If you love this guy, you wouldn't want to have a FWB relationship with him. There is something more going on here, that you're either not consciously aware of, not just haven't shared. The problem with FWB is that someone will get hurt. You say ... (read in full...)

I don't have the money for a counselor. How can I get my self esteem back?

Q.   I got cheated on in the past and it has left me massively insecure. I don't have the money to pay for counselling. Any ideas how I can go about getting my esteem back? I have lots of friends and do lots of exercise - I don't hate my looks or figure ...

A.   31 May 2011: Yes I agree with CaringGuy in that you can usually get free therapy, but you may be on a waiting list. Focus on what you do have. You seem to have a lot going for you by your message. You're only in your early 20's; your whole life ahead of you. ... (read in full...)

Romantic boyfriend lost interest as soon as we got married!

Q.   I am 22 yrs old and have been married for 4 months, my boy friend who was extremely romantic pre marriage has lost interest in me immediately after few days of our wedding and not ready to tell me wat is his problem. I am unable to find the reason ...

A.   31 May 2011: You're only going to find the answer to this by having a proper conversation with him about how you feel, and how you feel his behaviour has changed. Nobody on here is going to be able to find the reason, they would just be making blind guesses. ... (read in full...)

Am I just an arrogant american?

Q.   Is it wrong for thinking my home country (U.S.A.) is the greatest country in the world? I come from a military family, and have such a deep respect for our armed forces. I am not the most patriotic person in the world, of course I do not trust the ...

A.   31 May 2011: One of the problems of people who are patriotic is that they generally haven't travelled the world, and experienced how other people live. You can't really be proud, and claim your way of life is best, when you don't know what else is out there. You ... (read in full...)

I always thought that a marriage proposal should be a happy occasion but it’s left me struggling...

Q.   I always thought that a marriage proposal should be a happy occasion but it’s left me struggling with the answer. My boyfriend is a really nice guy and we were living together. He was having a difficult time financially and with his ex wife. I...

A.   28 May 2011: Do you love him and is he good to you? He might not be financially very good, but don't we apparently live in the age of equality where women can have careers, and be well paid earners? Seems like you might want your cake and eat it? If you weren't ... (read in full...)

My colleague offered me a low price for some kitchen items& isn't talking to me now!

Q.   Hello! A girl I work with is moving in to a new house with her boyfriend and she sent an email round with a list of things she needed ie microwave, toaster, kettle, furniture etc....as they don't have much money. She said if anyone had these...

A.   28 May 2011:  This situation is ridiculous. Surely you have better things to do than bitch and moan about someone at your work? Maybe you should have said something like "I paid nearly £40 for them you can have them for half the price if you like them" as tha... (read in full...)

Do you think he is using me?

Q.   Hi I'm a 23 yr old woman iv been with my boyfriend for almost 3months he never calls me unless I ring him,he hardly texts too. Three weeks ago I tried ringin him contiously as he did not pick up my calls and rhe next mornin he dumped me. When I m...

A.   27 May 2011: Your boyfriend seems like a total douch. He's not showing any signs of being interested in you, he's showing interest in other girls and he's cheated on you. Second, you're seeming really insecure and needy - not surprising, when he's treating you ... (read in full...)

My conservative wife wears low-cut tops that show her bra?

Q.   OK, this is going to sound odd, because I certainly find it odd. My wife is in her 40s. She has always been very decorous. Serious professional, dedicated mother, married for 20+ years. A virgin when we got together. Very conservative sex...

A.   27 May 2011: Have you asked her? She can probably give you the best answer!... (read in full...)

Should I just not argue ever with him?

Q.   I had an argument with my boyfriend and he told me he has enough stress to deal with from his ex wife, he didn’t want more from me and that I was starting to sound like her. So I should like never argue and always be agreeable just because he has ...

A.   26 May 2011:  Personally I think once someone starts arguing about something, it's gone too far and it is no longer helpful to the situation. I know sometimes people can lose their tempers, or can't always express themselves properly, but you should work ... (read in full...)

Fiance cannot stop bringing up old lovers!

Q.   My fiance can not stop bringing up my past lovers and Its ruining our sex life, as well as our relationship. I am 27 years old and have been with 38 men, and I'll admit, thats a lot. I have much regret for my bad choices in lovers, and wish I ...

A.   25 May 2011: I don't think "How can I show my boyfriend that He is the only man for me?" is the problem.. the problem is your past and nothing is going to change that. I seriously wonder if you guys are going to work out, at least happily ever after. I th... (read in full...)

Husband hired a sexy escort to work for him!

Q.   I really need some advice as I am in shock and don't know which way to turn. I dropped by my husbands office (he is 43) recently as he left his phone at home and walked in to find him drooling from his desk at his new receptionist as she was walking ...

A.   24 May 2011: If you trust him, what's the problem?... (read in full...)

My wife's sex life before she met me, and her attitude towards sex now have left me shattered....

Q.   This seems to be a big topic here. I have read a lot of the responses from people and they are helping. What I notice is that there are two categories of people suffering from this. One is people who have had a lot of partners (maybe even more tha...

A.   24 May 2011: Take her past out of this whole issue for a moment. You are basically are in a marriage where there are some serious problems. You should BOTH want to work on these, to have a happy relationship. Obviously she has some kind of problems she is not ... (read in full...)

Guys : Girls what do you think of "the rules?"

Q.   The Rules: do you ladies out there follow them? And men- does it work? Do you like a lady better of she ignores you until you call? I'm asking because I'm such an open book and I think I make it too easy for guys by being easy going and not pl...

A.   24 May 2011: If you feel you are making all the effort in the relationship, sit down and tell him how you feel. Give him the opportunity to change things. Don't resort to playing mind games. ... (read in full...)

How can I get over my paranoid fear that my bf might be talking to this other girl? Should I take one last look at his phone?

Q.   Due to past relationships, it took me around 10 months to trust my boyfriend fully. I was on his phone the other day, I was using the internet to check my bank account when I found myself on his facebook. I'm not usually one to snoop, but after a ...

A.   24 May 2011:  If my girlfriend was talking about me like that behind my back, with a guy who is flirting with her, there is no way I could pretend nothing is going on. You suspected something was going on, you snooped and you found what you were looking fo... (read in full...)

Why is it ok for my boyfriend to have sex with other women?

Q.   My boyfriend stays in london, sometimes we have misunderstanding but recently we settled every bit of the misunderstanding. But before he came back to nigeria he posted on him wall that he is in luv wit another woman which he mentioned her name, ...

A.   24 May 2011: No, there's nothing that is going to change anything that has already happened. He will say and do anything to try and keep you in his life. Be strong, trust your gut-feeling and do what you know what is right (but what may be difficult)... (read in full...)

Retro-active Jealousy With A Difference

Q.   I know that this topic has been covered but not from my situation so I would genuinely appreciate any help. I had a healthy sex life up until 27. about 12 partners, lot's of fun, innocent enough sex. Nothing out of left field as it where. I woul...

A.   23 May 2011: Yeah I think professional counselling as well. You both deserve to be happy and experience love for each other. You can't do that whilst you are obsessing over the past and things that you can not and never will be able to change. You owe it to both ... (read in full...)

Why is it ok for my boyfriend to have sex with other women?

Q.   My boyfriend stays in london, sometimes we have misunderstanding but recently we settled every bit of the misunderstanding. But before he came back to nigeria he posted on him wall that he is in luv wit another woman which he mentioned her name, ...

A.   23 May 2011: This guy is treating you so badly! He is not showing that he cares about you. Why would you want to accept that kind of behaviour from someone? You are being used and disrespected. You should stop seeing this man, and concentrate on your studies. ... (read in full...)

Should my boyfriend want to go off with his friends on a bank holiday?

Q.   Okay, so this weekend is a bank holiday, my guy is off work Saturday and Sunday (he works a lot of weekends) and basically he has been invited to go camping with his two best mates. I’m pi***d off. I don’t have a problem with either of these gu...

A.   23 May 2011: It sounds like you are overreacting about this and I would be really pissed off if my girlfriend turned around and started making it an issue. It's really nice to spend bank holidays with your partner but you should give him the freedom to see h... (read in full...)

I feel I had an unnecessary abortion, how do I stop crying over this??

Q.   Im an emotional wreck after having a termination 3 months ago. My boyfriend and i planned the pregnancy and he promised me he would step upto the mark, move into my place and that we would get married as soon as i got pregnant. I had no reason to...

A.   23 May 2011: Yeah, get rid of your boyfriend. He's no good. Your relationship will not get over this. It will take you some time to "get over" the abortion, and you should consider contacting a charity for some help... but things will get easier. A time in ... (read in full...)

He stands up when his 10 year old sister enters the room, is this too much?

Q.   What would you think of a guy (27) who is handsome, has a good job and basically has everything going right for him who actually physically stands up as a gesture of respect for his 10 years younger sister (17) when she enters the room and makes her ...

A.   23 May 2011: I have never heard of this but I'm going to give it a try when I next see my sister.... (read in full...)

Would I get more attention from boys if I let my grades slip down to C and Ds?

Q.   Do some boys feel intimidated if a girl gets very high marks at school? It seems to me that the girls who get so much more attention from boys do not get as good grades? Or am I wrong here? Should I try to slacken off a bit at school? One of the ...

A.   21 May 2011: No, I think you have it all wrong. It is a good thing to do well in school and any decent guy will think exactly the same thing. You'd have to be crazy to damage your education and risk your life prospects just because you think guys will like you ... (read in full...)

Topic suggestions?

Q.   My boyfriend and i have trouble finding topics to talk about. Do you have any suggestions for me?...

A.   19 May 2011: What about "Is porn acceptable"?... (read in full...)

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