A
male
age
30-35,
*andomando
writes:I Broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago. I sexted a girl on facebook when i was drunk. It was wrong and it was the only time it happened even though i dont remember doing it and my facebook was hacked when this was happening. Multiple sex stuff was sent to people on my facebook and my formspring. i tried to tell her i was drunk. I dont remeber. and stuff like that. There is no excuse for this at all and being drunk is not an excuse. But I am a really good guy. I have never cheated. i never hooked up with girls. I loved her. I treated her like my princess because she is, and I did everything i could to be the best boyfriend I could be.I honestly dont remember having this conversation with another girl. but i blacked out that night and sometimes I would go back home and put ridiculous status statements that seemed funny and id wake up and see them and laugh, so I don't know, maybe i did sext this girl.I dont want to change stories, because well i mean that would make me seem more guilty. So i just stuck to the truth.I know what i did is not okay. If she did it to me i would be mad and hurt. but i know I could forgive her. The thing that bothers me the most is that she thinks I had a physical relationship with this girl. and she bitched her out and the girl said we were both just sexting on facebook . Nothing more.(she was drunk) She came up with all these weird things in her head like I did cheat on her. I have feelings for her. and stuff and i really dont.So since then. I have basically stooped talking to her. tried to move on. She texts me all the time. and 1 time she rubbed in my face she kissed another guy. The guy she kissed is the girls ex boyfriend who i sexted (weird). It hurts she rubbed it in my face and it hurts that she still contacts me everyday. making it hard to move on. Starting fights. and stuff. I am at the point where i am depressed, sad and very heartbroken. I just want to know what to do. I blocked her from my facebook. I stopped talking to her. If we do talk its brief and we fight. I live 4 hours away. so I dont see her thank god. but I do love her. and i will always love her. I am going back home for a week. and may or may not see her. last time I was home we saw each other 3 different time in the 20 hours I was home. This was a month ago and we cried in each others arms and started to kiss me. And when we did kiss i realized this would probably be the last time I ever kissed her. and It honestly felt like it lasted for hours. I know I will never get back with her. She is just not going to change her mind. But I mean, how is this that unforgivable? Im being honest to her and she doesnt listen to me... I wrote a blog about the whole story! her friend found it and showed her it. and she believed what i was trying to tell her because her friend showed it to her..I just dont know what to do. Getting a text from her every now and then makes me sad. and sometimes ill sit in class and cry. I dont know what to tell her. I dont now why she still texts me all the time. maybe 1 text a day but still it just sucks. I went to college and basically begged her to be with me. If i wanted another girl I would have broken up with her. i didnt. Im madly in love with her and trying to move on but cant because she is still casting a shadow over me. I dont know what to tell her dont know what to say. dont know how to deal with this at all. any thoughts?insight? help at all would be much appreciated. anything at all would be helpful
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (11 November 2011):
Maybe she wanted to get out of the relationship anyway, and has used what happened as an excuse to get free?
All I can say is.. learn from this, but don't feel you are any less good. She is obviously wanting to purposely make you feel bad. Best to avoid her from now on, and let her get on with her life. You will meet someone else - someone who wants to be with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): She's hurt.She feels betrayedShe's mad as hellShe wants revenge.And she got it.So what to do now: u have apologized. U even wrote a blog. U took full blame. U even went to see her. You've groveled. U do Nothing now. Yes u were wrong. Very wrong. Young love and all the emotions making u both a basket case. BUT u have apologised. U tried to make amends. U accepted blame. U have done everything humanly possible to make right. However she cannot see beyond the hurt and the betrayal. NOW u have to be Still. Still. Still. Let her process everything. And IF one day she comes back, u will either be there Or u would have moved on. Sometimes there are no second chances and this is life.She seems to have moved on. But is it real or is she playing games? She wants to hurt u in return and she has. Now Enough!U have done a lot of intraspection. U have internalised this situation. U now need to let it be. When I read your words I was struck by your geniuneness. That is important. OP when u read so many chating stories here on DC I am struck by the blase nature and the audacity. But with u I've realised that u have atoned for your wrongdoing. U now need to forgive yourself.Why not try this as a last resort: either send her a mail or call her. Tell her u are sorry again and so forth BUT tell her its the last time u are going to address this. Tell her its the last time u are going to allow this to halt your progress from making peace with what has happened and Now u need to close this chapter. AND then firmly close it.Stop drinking OR cut down, way down. Start loving yourself again. U deserve a second chance and who better to give it to yourself than YOUGood luckLoveGirl
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (10 November 2011):
landomando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell now it doesnt matter as of today she is in a relationship with another guy. The guy she kissed and rubbed in my face. and told me he is better then me today. after i woke up to text messages telling me shes in a relationship. fml... its been 2 months. who does that? whatever i guess we are going our separate ways. I just didnt think I could be so easily replaced. :'(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): i think kc_100 is right...i wud vote ditto
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): she's punishing you mercilessly for hurting her. She's trying to make you feel the pain she felt when you sexted another girl. she's trying to make you suffer.
is what you did really that unforgivable? Let me ask you this: is it really so bad that you betrayed and broke the trust of the person that you're supposed to care the most about in the world?
actions have consequences. The consequences may not be happening because you deserve it from a moral judgment standpoint, but simply because you created them so they are there. When you betray someone's trust, they don't trust you anymore and are highly disgusted at you. that's just the way it works, it's not because you're a good or bad person, that's just the end result of some choices you made. If you drop an egg, it will break regardless of whether you're a good or bad person.
explaining that you were drunk - how is that any explanation at all? it just makes things even worse because it's saying indirectly that you should be let off the hook and here's why. It just makes it look like you were trying to weasel your way out. It's disgusting and offensive to the other person to tell them that they should let you off the hook for betraying them.
No wonder your gf is so hurt. But that said, there comes a point when enough is enough. She's trying to hurt you back, and she's succeeded. You have learned your lesson, so now it's time to move on.
Don't let her texts stop you from moving on because now they're serving no purpose except revenge for her. why not change your phone number. Or just ignore her texts completely and stay out of contact with her. eventually when she stops being able to get a reaction out of you, she'll stop contacting you.
I know you love her, but realize that things have changed forever. She will not ever feel the same way towards you again so it's best to move on from her.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 November 2011):
 I dont think what you did is that bad at all, I think she is over-reacting a fair bit. In fact her kissing other guys and rubbing it in your face is just as bad as the random drunk sexting.
I think you should arrange to see your ex when you get back home and have one last conversation with her. Explain that you are so sorry and want her back, and that you dont want this one stupid thing to ruin a great relationship. But if she doesnt want to try again then she has to cut off contact completely, stop texting and never speak to you again. So give her the choice - she can either try again or she has to stop contacting you because it isnt fair on you to keep stringing you along. You either try again or call it a day once and for all and you both try and move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (8 November 2011):
Tell her one more time how you feel about her, and that if she does not want to give it another try then you need to cut all contact forever and move on with your lifes seperately, explain that the reason is because you love her and it's too difficult how things are now. Give her the ultimatium of whether or not she wants to be in your life.It sounds like she was REALLY hurt by what you did, but I can also see it from your side. Part of being your age is about making mistakes but it is about learning from them, and if that means drinking less and being more aware of being faithful then that's what it's got to be.If you do decide to go seperate ways... you will get over this, as long as you learn from it, and the next girl you meet, you know you won't make the same mistake.
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