A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really hate the fact my boyfriend has a 15year old son and i hate his ex even though i dont know her.I have very strong hate feelings towards them and i hate it when his son comes to stay.We have been living together for 2 years and i have my own 14year old daughter who i love more than anything.My boyfriends son says he likes me and gets on with me but i secretley hate him so much. I get angry when my boyfriend talks about him ,whats wrong with me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): Thanx to everyone who answered my question,i think your all right i am jelous and insecure,though im not a nasty person thats why i couldnt understand why i felt like this.I have told my boyfriend how i feel,he dosnt want us to split up as we have planned to get married so we will have to work through this
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): You are lucky the boy doesnt hate you. You are lucky your boyfriend doesnt hate the daughter you adore too. You have no qualms about your own past but hate him having one. You need psychiatric help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): i could have been more sympathetic if the son hated you and saw you as a threat. its the other way round and its you who has a problem and its a big one. you need to end this relationship now before your secret explodes. you have your daughter who you love more than anything. the only way forward for you, is to find a man without any children and just hope he doesnt hate your daughter and your ex. you need help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011): You really that insecure that you can be happy being petty that he had a life before you? Thats what it is. And that you didn't have a child with the man you love. But if you really loved the man to the degree that you want his happiness, you have to grow to accept his sons is innocent and resentment and hate have no room for your heart.
Let it go. Its past. Celebrate that your BF has a beautiful son that will grow to be like his Dad and bless another woman with his love, just like Dad has you.
Get over your insecurity and jealousy. Focus on YOU are the BFs UNIVERSE now. Grow above it and embrace and experience the joy of true, lasting love by loving this son that is a special part of his Dad.
I love my Exs Sons as I see they are so much like their Dad. They are so sweet and funny, talented. You should be fortunate that sons supports your relationship with his DAD.
That is a very charitable quality Son has and you need to work to have it as well.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (16 November 2011):
 Wow... hate is a very strong word. Why do you hate his ex and his son? Did they hurt you in some way? I wonder how you would feel if your boyfriend hated your kid the same way?
Your jealous, in a very, very bad way. I suggest you get some counselling. Maybe something happened in your past and your boyfriends ex and his son are triggering something. Or maybe you love your boyfriend so much, you want to pretend he has no past and he's waited all his life to fall in love with you.
Nope your not mad, but you are having some strange emotional feelings. A counselor can help you to figure out why you feel like this. Don't ignore it.. This will get ugly if you can't hold this feeling in.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 Why do you hate this child? what has this child done to you to make you hate him so...
sounds to me like you don't like that your partner had a life before you (but it was ok for you to have a life before him)
are you in therapy to figure out this irrational hate?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 It's called jealousy. You cannot seem to handle the fact that he had a life and a family before he met you. This is something that you just need to accept if you want to make this relationship work. His son has never done anything wrong on you for you to hate him. It is not his fault that his parents separated. At the end of the day you should be trying your hardest to get on with his son and be a good step mum to him. As for his real mum well you don't even know the woman and you hate her so this shows that you are jealous. You need to get over this.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (16 November 2011):
You have a lot of hate inside you. Are you insecure that you don't feel enough because he also has these other significant others in his life? I don't think this relationship will work unless u can feel more secure and get over your anger. Anger like this is self destructive and will only end up ruining things for you.
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