Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history
Q. I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...
A. 10 January 2012: I'm not saying anything you don't already know but this relationship is really not healthy and it is clearly damaging the pair of you.
Intentionally withholding affection, what a horrible thing that you are doing. You are pushing your wife awa... (read in full...)
He's trying to change me on so many levels. When will these changes be 'enough' for him?
Q. Hi, i really need some advice!! Iv been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Im 22, he's nearly 30 and he's a christian. Iv never felt like this about anyone before and i really really love him. When we first met everything was great! He was just as ...
A. 12 January 2011: I can see you are totally loved up with this guy. Which is great. If he felt the same way. I've seen too many girls willing to give up too much and they loose their own identities and happiness in the process of trying to feel approved and loved by ... (read in full...)
He's trying to change me on so many levels. When will these changes be 'enough' for him?
Q. Hi, i really need some advice!! Iv been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Im 22, he's nearly 30 and he's a christian. Iv never felt like this about anyone before and i really really love him. When we first met everything was great! He was just as ...
A. 12 January 2011: I think the first answer is spot on. You're 22 - perfect age to go find someone right for you and have an amazing relationship. Don't waste your time on this guy. You'll end up in an unhappy relationship indefinately and you'll just continue to grow ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history
Q. I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...
A. 11 January 2011: Wow man. I'm quite taken aback at your message. I have to say, I did read it in its entirety and I feel for you but I don't think anyone on the Internet is going to help you solve what are seriously deep issues within yourself.
It sounds like you... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't simply cancel, he goes silent!
Q. I have a male friend who I have a purely platonic friendship with. I've known him about 18 months and in that time we have had quite a few arguments. Its always regarding us arranging to meet and him then blowing me out. I appreciate people are busy ...
A. 11 January 2011: It sounds like he does not value your friendship as much as you do his.
You can only bring it up and ask him what happened, and see if he even realises what he is doing?
Do you fancy this "friend" by any chance?
... (read in full...)
My husband discusses our personal issues with my friends!
Q. My husband has on more than one occassion discussed our personal issues with my friends who he is aquainted with and not close. I have asked him to not do this as it has offended me, as I am generally a private person preferring to resolve our ...
A. 7 January 2011:
Maybe the answer isn't to "get him to understand" but rather realise that if you could resolve the issue within the relationship then he wouldn't need to talk to outside friends? I'm sure there is a compromise somewhere where you can comm... (read in full...)
Would any men be weirded out that their girlfriend donated her eggs?
Q. I've been considering donating my eggs and have been "preliminarily accepted," meaning that I've filled out my application and sent pictures; and now they want to interview me face-to-face. While I've considered all aspects of it and now that I'm ...
A. 7 January 2011: I don't think he would be weirded out. I think donating your eggs is a really signifigant action in your life so why would you want to keep it to yourself? Plus why at 27 have you "come to terms" with not having children? 27 is not too old to have ... (read in full...)
My hubby is cheating! What should I do?
Q. I'm 28 and live with my 30 year old husband and 3 kids. I'm in a weelchair so we live in a bungalow , however latly I'm not sure if my hubbys been so honest or faithful to me. It started about 1 month ago, my husband was coming home later and l...
A. 6 January 2011: Sorry to hear about your situation. Apart from this cheating how would you have described your relationship and how happy he is? This infidelity is going to take some serious work to get through (if that's what both of you want) and you need to ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to work, but I want a man who can be an equal partner and contribute to the relationship. Who is right here?
Q. I've been dating this guy and apart from a few dates at the beginning and the occasional petrol money we split all the bills for the outings about 50/50. He pays slightly more as I am looking for work and he is working. The thing is I don't feel ...
A. 4 January 2011: I think you are in no position to talk about money whilst you are unemployed yourself. If he has enough money invested in property to live off then fair play to him! Stop trying to change him, or you will loose him.... (read in full...)
How many partners is too many partners?
Q. I am a 29 year old woman trying to figure out if I have had too many partners or if I am just average and don't need to worry. I feel pretty average. But when men ask, I'm never sure how I measure up. I know it depends on the man. How many p...
A. 4 January 2011: I would say it was about average. ... (read in full...)
When guys ask women about their sexual pasts, do they really want an honest answer?
Q. This question seems like a no-brainer at first... who's going to say they DON'T want honesty? But then I read all the posts on here from people (mainly guys, it seems) who are insecure about what their partners have done before them, and with whom, ...
A. 4 January 2011: I think you should be honest, and you know if you're right for each other when you are both OK about each others past.... (read in full...)
My son is a crack addict, with criminal charges, on probation for the last 7 years. What can I do in this horrible situation?
Q. My 27 years old drug-addict son ,causing me and my family lots of pain. He moved back several times in our home, and we tried to help him over and over again. But it failed every time. He is here again. On house arrest, so he can avoid jail. I...
A. 31 December 2010: I think that's good advice from Jilly you write "he is just blaming, and looking for mistakes outside of him" and I think this is key: he needs to reach a point where he takes responsibility for his own life and the situation he has put himself in. ... (read in full...)
He forgot about me on Christmas!
Q. My boyfriend and are spending Christmas holidays with our families. We're being together for 14 months and he didn't text me for Christmas. We have a great relationship, we love each other so much. Or so I thought... I thought he didn't text or c...
A. 26 December 2010: No wonder you feel hurt. It sounds to me that your boyfriend just isn't in to you.
Nobody that means something to someone will forget to contact that partner on christmas day.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend saved my life and is now handicapped. Should I stay with him?
Q. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 24. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It almost sounds unreal, but he saved my life about one month ago. He pushed me out of the way from getting hit by an oncoming car, but he was badly injured. Right now, ...
A. 26 December 2010: If you love him, you will stay with him. That's all there is to it, really.... (read in full...)
Should I just accept that I'll never find someone who loves me?
Q. i know many of you here who have read my past posts realize that i needed to move on from my gf who has thrown me on an emotional roller coaster. Many of you also suggested i find someone new now thats the problem the way i got with my ex was ...
A. 23 December 2010: You're barely an adult and already you think you'll never find love. That's a shame. You need to work on your confidence as it seems to be lacking. You have a long life ahead of you and in that time you're going to meet many many people.... (read in full...)
He makes sex seem like a chore!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years now. Ever since we became sexually active (3 months in), he has not been able to have an orgasm during intercourse, only during oral. And it's only during oral that he seems to really enjoy himself. ...
A. 22 December 2010: You didn't mention the most important aspect in all of this. Does he know how you feel and how has he responded? I'm sure if he wants to be in this relationship he will want to improve his skills and also come to a compromise about how to meet your ... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage but he wont let me go
Q. hi i have been married for past 5 years,i am a very simple, shy and homely girl.in this 5years of marriage we have had sex only 10-15 times. he is putting all blame on me what is is saying is that when we got married i was not his type of girl he ...
A. 22 December 2010: Are you sure that you can not work at these issues? I may be wrong but it sounds to me that if your husband could change some of his behaviours, you would be able to find the feelings you used to have for him.
Both of your problems are caused b... (read in full...)
Iv been cheated on numerous times but I cant seem to move on, Help!!
Q. I was with my now ex boyfriend for just over 3 years. I met him when I was 19 when we met and he was 21. I fell completely in love with him. During the 3 years I tried to be the perfect girlfriend. (I even paid his bills when we broke up) He got me ...
A. 22 December 2010: You say you don't know how to move on, but you do know how to move on, you just don't yet have the strength to do it. I read your message and I felt very sad for you. You must feel like absolute crap. It is not unusual for people who are treated ... (read in full...)
Men: If your woman is satisfying you, why do you need porn?
Q. Ok first off, I’m not married, but I keep having this fear of my future husband watching porn. I understand that most men watch porn but why? If your woman is satisfying you why do you need it? Many men say they need variety, but is that fair? Women ...
A. 22 December 2010: In principle, I would say that if a man is being satisfied then he certainly doesn't need, or should want porn in his life. Porn has its problems. Whilst it can be used "innocently" it can very easily become habit forming, and start to af... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a secret dating profile
Q. Recently, I was randomly googling people I know out of intense boredom. I googled my boyfriend and I found his dating profile on some sleazy site. His pictures consisted of inappropriate shots of him that he had sent to me when we were forced to be ...
A. 22 December 2010: Ask him what he feels is missing in your relationship. There must be something or he wouldn't feel the need to login to this dating website. In fact, I would be pretty sure that if he was totally fulfilled in the relationship then he would delete ... (read in full...)
Could a relationship and sex with a much younger man be a good experience for me?
Q. I am 42 and I have only been attracting younger men lately. The youngest recently was 24. I told him that’s way too young for me (only 6 years older than my oldest son) but he keeps trying to tell me why it could work between us. Not buying it. He ...
A. 20 December 2010: Why you don't try it and see? That goes for the sex and the relationship. Age isn't everything. You could meet a man your own age but it doesn't guarantee it will work out. It's all about the chemistry and how you progress together in the ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have another account on Facebook... as a woman???
Q. Been in a relationship with a guy for two years, we only managed to see each other at weekends. I thought our relationship was good and was ready to take it to the next level, when I discovered by chance he has a profile on facebook under a ...
A. 19 December 2010:
You could go.. "no.. seriously.. why DO you have a female profile on Facebook?" then get him to tell you.
... (read in full...)
Are there any honest men out there?
Q. I'm 23 and have my own car and job. I'm an honest person who actually wants a relationship. Yet I've been burned twice this year by two players. I'm so sick and tired of being used. One guy cheated on me and dumped me by text message. The other guy ...
A. 19 December 2010: Keep looking, you'll find the right guy for you. You can't lose hope over 2 failed relationships. That's just 2 guys out of a possibility of 10's of thousands of potential boyfriends out there. It'll work out just put the previous experiences in the ... (read in full...)
Why am I having dirty thoughts about my friend?
Q. Let me start this off by saying I'm not proud of this. I have this cute friend she is very nice and smart. And very pretty But I did something I never have done before I masturbated to her picture. It was a pic her and some clevage was show...
A. 18 December 2010: It's natural, you're sexually attracted to her. Are you Christian? There is nothing "dirty" about being sexually attracted to her. You're at that younger age where you've started developing sexual feelings towards women.. it's the first stage in ... (read in full...)
Help! I want my best friend back!
Q. hey guys :] well im in a pickle at the moment, basically i have fallen out with my best friend of 3 years, she started to date a boy i really hate, and a few days ago i had a fight with him. suddenly after that she told the school about it and ...
A. 17 December 2010:
Life can be a bit tough at your age when it comes to guys and friendships. I think if you dislike this boy you should keep it more to yourself, as you are causing her to chose between your friendship and him. If you can be a good friend to her,... (read in full...)
I think she got back with me only because she's pregnant
Q. hi, me and my girlfrind have recently got backtogether from a break, but i feel that she has only got back with me because she found out she was pregnant, we have another child together, but i am doubting pperternity of the child she is carrying, as ...
A. 15 December 2010:
It sounds like you are in anything but a loving and committed relationship with this woman so I would advice you that, whether or not you want to be with her or end up sorting things out that you need to find out whether or not you're the fath... (read in full...)
She won't shave or trim!
Q. I have had multiple conversations with my wife regarding the shaving of her vag, but she will not so much as keep it trim. I've actually shaved her a few times, but I feel like it's just part of a woman's grooming process to keep it trim if that's ...
A. 15 December 2010:
I think the issue goes beyond the one you've described. Effectively she isn't keeping up with what she used to do for you because she is not as attracted to you as she once was. If she was, she'd feel the need to please you still (and - feel sexy... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to buy his ex a mother's day gift?
Q. my boyfriend has a daughter and he and i have been together for 5 years. Do u think its appropriate for him to buy the kid's mom a mother's day gift? is it ok for me to feel a little jealous over that?...
A. 15 December 2010: It's appropriate depending on your relationship and the nature of their relationship. It sounds to me like it could be harmless. Maybe he is just a decent guy who still cares about her (but not in a way that is inappropriate).
It is also quite no... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: If you have sex on the first night then you will be "the girl who has sex on the first night"
Why don't you want to find a good guy and combine the sex with a great relationship?... (read in full...)
He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex....
Q. Me and my partner have been together for about 6 months. We have a great relationship and a great sexual relationship apart from one thing that really bothers me. He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex. He wants oral sex at least once a day and he gets it ...
A. 10 December 2010: "He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex"
If he genuinely doesn't enjoy giving oral sex then there is no point trying to DEMAND it from him. That seems a little unfair, and not really good for a great relationship.
It's definitely worth asking him... (read in full...)
Is this really over? I don't want it to be but we can't go back to where we were!
Q. Please can someone offer me some advice? I have never written on any of these chat things before- I don’t even do facebook! But I need an outsider opinion. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. He is 30 and I am 28. The first co...
A. 9 December 2010: 3 and a half year relationship you should be seeing each other much more than at just weekends. I'm surprised you have put up with this. His work seems like an excuse. It has to be. I run two businesses myself and they take up a lot of time and ... (read in full...)
Why wouldnt my LDR girlfriend give me her facebook?
Q. hey , i just wonder why wouldnt my long distance relationship girlfriend give me her facebook ? shes telling me that she would get jealous if she sees other girls postin on my fb and i would get jealous too seein other guys talking to her, but what...
A. 9 December 2010: If you haven't met after two years and aren't even on each others facebooks then the only type of relationship you're in with her is a friendship. ... (read in full...)
How can I lengthen my penis?
Q. My penis is 5 inches long when erect,how can i lengthen it?...
A. 8 December 2010: You could try looking up Jelqing on Wikipedia. I don't know if it works but I've seen it recommended on here before.... (read in full...)
I treated her so badly she has finally snapped, will she ever come back?
Q. Hi Everybody I need some serious help and please don't say things like that's what I get because I already know it's all my fault. I just loss my gf and I'm I think for good this time. I took her for granted and not once was insecure about h...
A. 8 December 2010: I notice you use an allegory and describe her as a kind of dog, later you call other women bitches. You then post asking if she has been cheating. I have to wonder, what has led you to have just disrespect and mistrust for women? It seems to me on ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to send my ex a Christmas card or even a gift?
Q. So my ex girlfriend of one year and I broke up back in September and it's been almost three months since we've seen each other. As far as I know she's been dating somebody else almost a week after we broke up. It wasn't best of news when I heard ...
A. 8 December 2010:
Have you really learnt to accept it, or do you still have feelings for her? I wonder because you mention you are thinking of getting her a gift. Maybe it is just because you were such good friends and are friends now? If not, then I think a gift... (read in full...)
Cheated but it was protected sex, now I am pregnant but don't know who this father is!
Q. I had protected sex during my ovulation week. I had a lot to drink that night and it was a big mistake. But at least we used a condom and correctly. But i have a boyfriend that i had been trying to have a child with. And we have unprotected sex all ...
A. 8 December 2010: Sounds like you will need to get a DNA test to know for sure.... (read in full...)
What kind of players are prowling around on plentyoffish.com?
Q. Met a man on plenty off fish. We hit it off instantly.. The first couple of days after our first meeting was texting all day - phone calls even made time to sneaky a quick kiss.... We have seen each other several times in the short month we've know...
A. 7 December 2010: You have sex and the man is distant and no longer seems interested = He had sex with you and does not want to pursue any thing further.
You have sex and the man texts you the next day telling you how amazing you were = man is really in to you and ... (read in full...)
He told other girls I was good at giving blow jobs?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and I can honestly say we love eachother. He has told me since the begining that I give awesome blowjobs. Today we were joking around and I asked if he ever told anyone how good I am. He said yes I told 2 ...
A. 7 December 2010:
It seems inappropriate to me. But then again if he is just a teenage boy, perhaps he is not yet mature enough to understand boundaries in what is and what is not appropriate. You've only been together 4 months, you should tread carefully.... (read in full...)
Am I too ugly to be loved?
Q. im ginger, ugly and fat im 19 and i ust cant get girls to like me they never talk to me and the ones that do talk to me are the ones that just do it as a joke any help please ...
A. 7 December 2010:
Mate it sounds like you need to develop some self confidence and start seeing the positive things in yourself rather than what you think are negative things.
You have red hair. Big deal. Yes some kids use this a means to bully, and even some ad... (read in full...)
Sunken eyes?
Q. hello all i just want to have some advice about the my eyes, they actually went deep in my face and my face also got skinnier , i think its coz of lack of sleepin or even coz i dont eat healthy, and its nt nice coz now when i smile , it appears ...
A. 7 December 2010: I'm sure you look absolutely fine but if you are feeling unconfident try eating a healthier diet, drink plenty of water and do some exercise. I'm sure you will feel a whole lot better.... (read in full...)
My friend gave me oral sex but I'm not sure if it was cheating
Q. Hey agony aunts. I've been feeling really guilty lately because i don't know if i've cheated on my girlfriend or not. last week i was staying over at a friend's house. This is the first time i've ever dated a girl so i was worried about how to give ...
A. 7 December 2010: So this guy teaches his lesbian "friend" how to perform oral sex. Bet he loved that, definitely one to tell the guys. You ask how you should feel about what happened. naive is your answer!... (read in full...)
We have anal sex one time, and now he always wants it!
Q. i am kinda having an issue that i don't know how to address. me and my boyfriend tried anal a couple weeks ago. i was afraid at first but i was surprised that i actually liked it. but the problem is now that seems to be all my an boyfriend wants! i ...
A. 7 December 2010: "how do i tell him i don't want to do anal as much without making him feel bad?"
You say "I was surprised that I like it when we have anal sex but if I'm being honest, I don't like having it so often. Can we just have it now and again, is that ok?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. My GF seems to have some concerns over my semen volume and my orgasms lately. She says I sometimes do not cum very much, while other times I cum a LOT. I think she is being a little naive, as many of the times she says I dont cum a lot it is the ...
A. 7 December 2010:
Just tell her she's misunderstood a man's anatomy and what she's saying is ridiculous. Stop allowing yourself to feel inadequate.... (read in full...)
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