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I can't see a future for us while her weed-smoking, unemployed brother is living here!

Tagged as: Family, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2011)
A male United States age 51-59, *oodbury74 writes:

Ive moved into my girlfriends home 6 months ago knowing the fact that her brother lives with her. We both have good jobs and money is not an issue but her 33 yr old brother (thats been living with her for the last 5yrs) doesnt work and hasnt since moving in with her. He doesnt have a car and never goes anywhere. So he basically eats, sleeps and smokes weed all day. I love my girlfriend very much and i want to eventually marry her but i just cant see doing that with her brother living there and off of us. Ive expressed my concern to her about this and shes frustrated as well but doesnt want to see him homeless. Any suggestions?

View related questions: money, moved in, smokes

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A male reader, woodbury74 United States +, writes (10 November 2011):

woodbury74 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To serenity80...i guess you werent reading my question carefully like i said i make good money 50k a yr...so money isnt the issue i make enough..and as far as moving that would solve the issue...i want to be with my lady.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (10 November 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntIf he's been living there the past 5 years, I'm sure he's going to continue another 5 years or so taking up space in her home. You can't make her kick out her own flesh and blood.

BUT, you can talk to her about your intentions of living together and getting married eventually..plans that don't include her lazy brother. Perhaps, she'll give him a deadline to get a job or move out.

Why can't he live with their parents?

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (10 November 2011):

Moo's Mum agony auntAs long as she keeps enabling him he will remain a sponging user. He needs a short sharp shock. Encourage her to kick him out and force him to stand on his own two feet. If she doesn't do this he will never wake up to himself!

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (10 November 2011):

You are the man, and you are 41 - 50 years old! Get a good enough job to get your own place, and have your girlfriend move in with you.

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