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*erenity80

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How do I confront him about the texts I found on his phone?

Q.   please can you help me, i checked my partner of 2 years phone and found a lot of girls numbers and some very sexy texts, which he has replied to, i am heartbroken ,how can cofront him when i had to put his pin number in to get in his phone ,i feel ...

A.   10 September 2011: "have i been wrong to let the texting upset me so much that now i have lost him." No you haven't been wrong. He was cheating on - and as you didn't talk about this issue, you'll never really know how far it went and what went on. Of course... (read in full...)

We're "Facebook married" but I want him as a legit b/f

Q.   So I'm "Facebook married" to my legit crush..one night i was at his house and he proposed to me and gave me a ring and everything..the next day he sent me a facebook marriage request and of course I said yes! we've been really close for over a y...

A.   9 September 2011: Why isn't he your "legit" boyfriend? Either he is shy about asking you out, or he is gay.... (read in full...)

Does sex on the first date ruin the chance of a relationship?

Q.   I am now seeing this guy whom i have been talking to for while on the internet.I tried not to have sex with on the first date as I have been told that he will dump me and a relationship will not happen if you sleep with them straight away.I asked ...

A.   8 September 2011: I don't think it matters if you are 16 or 60. Sex on the first date can risk the relationship not working out. You do run the risk of that guy seeing you as 'easy' and not gf material. That said, some relationships do work out ok when sex is on the ... (read in full...)

My wife thinks I have a small penis!

Q.   I have a troubling issue in my marriage. To get right to the point, it has to do with penis size and my wife's perception. I am about 5.75 by 5 around and I always thought fairly average. When my wife and I talk it is clear that she thinks ...

A.   8 September 2011: So you questioned her about the size of her previous partners penis sizes, and now you're feeling insecure because she has had bigger? How utterly stupid of you to ask her such private things. Unless you are much smaller than average guys the... (read in full...)

Why is my partner ringing his ex in the middle of the night?

Q.   I have been with my partner for over 2 years and our wedding is booked. He owns a house with his ex and is in the process of selling it. She has been a nightmare through the whole thing and we have had to go to court and all sorts. Finally she is ...

A.   8 September 2011: If he is as open as you say he is then why don't you ask him what they talked about? I am sure you are making something out of nothing. Talk to him before you completely blow this out of proportion in your head and make it in to some kind of massive ... (read in full...)

What should I do? I feel heartbroken and don’t know whether I am in the wrong or he is?

Q.   Please help me gain perspective on this I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I don’t live together, although he stays at my flat every night. For the most part, we are very happy together – have loads of fun times out and family times etc...

A.   8 September 2011: Oh my, you sound like a nightmare! How long have you been going out? Sometimes it can take a while to feel secure and settled in a relationship. Your boyfriend seems a very reasonable person. I think he is right, you are pushing him away. You want... (read in full...)

How do I confront him about the texts I found on his phone?

Q.   please can you help me, i checked my partner of 2 years phone and found a lot of girls numbers and some very sexy texts, which he has replied to, i am heartbroken ,how can cofront him when i had to put his pin number in to get in his phone ,i feel ...

A.   7 September 2011: What do you want to happen when you tell him? There are two issues here, the first that he has been going behind your back with other women, and second, that you have gone through his private things. You're just going to have to be direct and... (read in full...)

My boyfriend had masturbated and then couldn't cum when we had sex. Is it ok that I am upset by this?

Q.   My boyfriend recently masturbated in the toilet when I was round his house to porn. Usually porn doesn't bother me but I feel like he chose this over me and suddenly like i'm not hot enough. We went on to have sex later and he didn't cum and just ...

A.   6 September 2011: Tell him how you feel, I would let this one slide but if he does it again I think you would feel right to be upset and bring it up as an issue in the relationship.... (read in full...)

We are not official - can we date other people?

Q.   Heya I have a quick question I,ve been dating a young man for nearly two months now. We're not officially girlfriend and boyfriend. He hasn't been with another girl since we met but since we're just dating is it ok for him to be with other girls...

A.   5 September 2011: Do either of you want to date other people? I guess if you have been seeing each other for 2 months already then it's about time you found out from each other where this "relationship" is going.... (read in full...)

How can I stop talking to my guy friends? My boyfriend gets really mad.....

Q.   How can I stop talking to my guy friends? I'm still in high school and my boyfriends in his first year of college. He doesn't talk to girls at all in college because he says he loves me too much to talk to them but I talk to two guy friends and he ...

A.   5 September 2011: This is a very worrying situation. Your boyfriend is extremely jealous and this kind of behaviour can only lead to worse. You need to discuss this issue with friends and family. Unless your boyfriend is able to change his behaviour and see what... (read in full...)

We are very close. Yet on FB he claims to love another. Am I just his temp fix?

Q.   I'm 18 and I find myself in the worse position ever. I've been with one guy since I was 14 we break up but still see eachother regularly, speak everyday and sleep over each others houses every week. Where I've known him since I was so young I feel...

A.   25 August 2011: You've never been so close to another man because you haven't given it the opportunity. Whilst you love this guy, and save yourself for him, you will never be able to meet anyone else or feel any level of deep feelings for them. But that doesn't ... (read in full...)

My pregnant Gf no longer wants to see me. How do I get her back? I was texting prostitutes

Q.   My current girlfriend (whom I do want to marry) is 2 months pregnant and she looked through my phone only to discover text messages I had with other girls as well as prostitutes to set up dates. I have never cheated on her or gave her reason to thin...

A.   25 August 2011: When she has calmed down you will just have to give it another try and hope that she believes you. If she trusts that you haven't actually cheated and were doing it for the excitment then maybe it is something you can put behind you. ... (read in full...)

Should I stop seeing him? Found escort agency on his computer

Q.   I came accross an escort agency on my new boyfriends computer history, one year later its there again, he has had txt messages advertisine 'indays' from women and the occassional sexy picture on his mobile. His excuse is that it was his son using ...

A.   25 August 2011: I agree, lots of things going on here. If there were a couple of things and when brought up by you, you got some honesty and could understand and reason it then it would be different, but when you are being lied to and him saying that you are wrong ... (read in full...)

Could this mean anything other than the fact that my GF and this other guy slept together?? What else could "I got up after you left" mean?

Q.   A question, tho I think I know the answer. Girl I have been seeing for a few months told me on Monday night she was going to visit an old friend (a guy). I was very suspicious. It was eating at me. We have not been dating so long and I dont know the...

A.   25 August 2011: Just because he was asleep when she left doesn't mean that they slept together. How do you know she didn't stay over in a spare room or on the sofa? You're in a tough spot now, because you didn't trust her, and you can't bring up that you went... (read in full...)

Will women understand my problem? Or will they be put off or disgusted by my penis?

Q.   I am 25 years old, and for various reasons I have not done much dating and not been sexual active. In retrospect, I realize that much of the reason why I have put off sexual activity is because I have phimosis (tight foreskin) and I think deep down ...

A.   25 August 2011: Any woman who wants more than a casual fling with you is not going to reject you because you have phimosis. Is your condition painful? Did you know it can be treated with a steriod cream which will stretch the skin and correct the problem?... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my cousin and I'm scared to tell her

Q.   hey im 15 years old and im in love with my first cousin shes 13. me and her get along really good and she does not know that i love her and its hard i want to tell her but cant. i'm worred cause she might not talk to me or she might tell my mom or ...

A.   24 August 2011: You don't love her. You have a close bond with her, because she is your family. Don't confuse being in love with someone, with feeling a connection with someone. You would be making a big mistake by confessing your feelings to her. She is too young ... (read in full...)

Wife doesn't want to leave me, but isn't 'in love' anymore. She's happier with her FWB.

Q.   I'm a married man, and my wife has just said that she still loves me but is not in love with me. She says I'm a great father and husband and she doesn't want to hurt me. Then, she explained, she has a friend which has gotten into the "with benefi...

A.   24 August 2011: Amazing advice from the others. I agree that your confidence in yourself seems at an all time low, and that's totally understandable. When you noticed these two people were hitting it off, she should have removed herself from temptation, or you ... (read in full...)

Am I being used or is there a chance he likes me?

Q.   I work in a shop and for the last 5 months a guy (paul)has made a point of coming on my checkout every time I work. he tells me how gorgeous i am and how lucky my boyfriend is. my boyfriend finished with me 2 months ago - I told paul that I'm no ...

A.   22 August 2011: That guy seems a complete dick to me. There is no way any guy who was interesting in seeing a girl as girlfriend material would say those kind of things. If it was a relationship you were after, you should have waited before getting sexual s... (read in full...)

Why is her vagina so loose?

Q.   so the other night me i was engaging in some foreplay with my fiance i got her to orgasm a couple of times, now not ever in our 3 year relationship has she let me finger her because she says that nails scratch her inside and it kills. anyhow this ...

A.   19 August 2011:  It definitely isn't to do with her past. Women have varying size, and also, they can become looser when they are very excited and in the mood. See it as a good thing.... (read in full...)

Why did my FWB guy not tell me he was going on vacation for 2 weeks?

Q.   hi everyone my fwb who i have known for 7 months has just gone on holiday and not even told me i know hes not my boyfriend but i thought he would of told me i only found out cos i have text him twice in two weeks and heard nothing from him so i text ...

A.   19 August 2011: You're his FWB, not his girlfriend. In other words, why should he have to tell you? You are just someone he can have sex with when he needs it. You don't mean anything more to him than that. I guess you are a FWB without the benefit of an actual ... (read in full...)

Could being gay just be a phase?

Q.   First off, I'm just going to say that this might not be the best looking question in terms of spacing. I was wondering if some of you have ever gone through a gay/bi phase? This is a very embarassing thing for me to say, but I'm gay. I'm sure of ...

A.   19 August 2011: I've known a couple of mates who, in their teens, experimented with guys, and thought that they were gay, when in fact, they weren't. On the other hand, I've had friends who knew they were gay ever since they were children. Going through adolesce... (read in full...)

Am I wrong in thinking that my husband should have backed me up when I needed it?

Q.   I am a nurse and about 10 months ago I was mildly assulted and bullied at work by another nurse with no witnesses. I wrote up this nurse and turned it in to my HR and to my nursing director. Nothing was ever done I was never supported they just bru...

A.   19 August 2011: I agree with Jmtmj, it depends on how you look at it. Personally I would not have appreciated my partner to go storming in to my place of work guns blazing and making the issue a hundred times worse. Did he not support you in any other way, I m... (read in full...)

What is it about the average guys that makes them get the most stunning girls?

Q.   We all know of or heard of average, even below average guys consistently getting stunning girls. These guys don't have high status. If arrogance is a turn off, why don't these average/below average guys turn off these stunning girls? If they a...

A.   19 August 2011: I think you are massively over-generalising. Who is to say these guys are "below average" and the girls are "stunning"? You? I think you are being way too judgemental, and assuming less of men, and associating good looks with women being "high ... (read in full...)

She ended it saying she wasn't ready; should I wait or move on?

Q.   Hey :) I'm in a bit of a pickle here and not reaching any decent conclusion on the matter, wondered if you had any advice. The story is this: I'm almost 18 and have been semi-courting a girl called (for the sake of using a name) Daisy for 5 months. ...

A.   16 August 2011: Lovemap? What on earth is that? Life doesn't work that way. Love isn't logical, it isn't mapping your compatibilities to see if you fit with someone and living happily ever after. Christian or no Christian, this girl is just giving you a line tha... (read in full...)

My brother walked in on us having sex. Now its awkward. What should I do??

Q.   This is quite a long story but please stick with it. A few days ago, my boyfriend was away doing preseason training with his and my brothers team. They are both professional rugby players so are away a lot training and playing etc. Anyway, i h...

A.   16 August 2011: Nothing you can do, you will all laugh about it in a few years time.... (read in full...)

How do I bring up that I dated his friend 3 years ago?

Q.   Three years ago I went on a few dates with a guy we'll call Andy. I was never really into him, although things went a little too far one night, but I didn't want them to so I left. We saw each other one more time after this and talked briefly, but ...

A.   15 August 2011: I think you should bring it up. The reason is, if you don't, it MIGHT be something that this guy may have an issue with in years to come. It is far better to get it in the open, and then you can leave it in the past. I've just been watching an... (read in full...)

I suspect him having sex with this minor, would you call CPS or leave the situation alone?

Q.   I recently saw my ex friend/FWB with a young lady who looked to be 16 years old. I know these days its hard to tell how old a young lady is based on her appearance however this young ladies appearance from head to toe was that of a young lady 15-20 ...

A.   15 August 2011: Obviously you are very upset by this man, but unless this girl is clearly a child or he is in some way exploiting what looks like a young teen then I would say leave it all well alone. It sounds like you need to move on with your life and stop ... (read in full...)

I love older women .i want to have sex with one but HOW do I interest one?

Q.   I'm attracted to older women.. ok so i'm 19 yrs old and i love older women..like i think they are so hot..my friends make fun of me but i tell them the truth ..i just love them like i want to have sex with one..but I don't know how to get one inte...

A.   13 August 2011: Look for one in a club, like on the dance floor. you'll always find a few older women in clubs that are looking to score.... (read in full...)

What body type do ladies find attractive?

Q.   Everyone will have a different answer, I know, but... what type of body do you girls like in an 18 year old lad? As in skinny, slim and toned, bulky or lots of softness? I'm doing a bit of weight training to get biger and just wondered what people ...

A.   12 August 2011: Depends on the girl. Some girls go for the slim/skinny guy, some like average, some like some muscle - some like tall guys. In my experience it's been much better to have some extra muscle to show you that you work out and take care of your body. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is becomming selfish in bed

Q.   My boyfriend and I always used to have great sex. Lately though, he has been pretty selfish. He used to hold back, so we could finish together but now he finishes really quickly and then uses his hands for me. Sex has become really boring f...

A.   9 August 2011: I read that you can judge how good a man thinks his relationship in how good he is in bed. Maybe there are other issues in your relationship which is stopping him from being how he used to be with you?... (read in full...)

Dating 2 weeks and already there are problems

Q.   So I just started dating this girl 2 weeks ago and already there are problems. We met a year and 7 months ago when she was dating another guy named Hunter, and even though I reaaly liked her, I wasn't going to try and break them up. So they dated ...

A.   9 August 2011: Are you sure shes crying because she wants to get back with him? If that's true, you need to dump her because she's just using you. The fact she is texting him all the time is a MAJOR red flag. She should not be doing this, it is disrespecting you ... (read in full...)

I didn't cheat, but my g/f insists I did. Did I?

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend since October last year, but I started dating her around May. In june - july last year I went to Europe backpacking. During this trip I met with my ex girlfriend in Vienna for 3 days (she lives in Switzerland). This was ...

A.   8 August 2011: No, you didn't cheat. Your girlfriend feels hurt and insecure. You need to be firm, remind her that absoluetely nothing happened but also show her that you love her and aren't interested in anyone else. BTW, whilst you were dating your now girl... (read in full...)

Thoughts only why I'm called a slut and 19 months along enough time to wait to loss virginity?

Q.   okay well i lost my virginity to much boyfriend of 19 months at the time. he was a virgin also. i was just kinda wondering was that a good about of time to wait. i thought so but just wondering. also why do you thik people call me a slut when ive ...

A.   5 August 2011: You are pretty young to be having sex, but you're not a slut. Who is calling you it? Boys, girls? It could be that they are being immature. School can be hard time because of name-calling. Perhaps these people are jealous that you're in a relati... (read in full...)

What does it mean for a relationship to 'move forward'?

Q.   Yo so I got a question. My girl broke up with me last week because she says our relationship wasnt movin forward. I asked what that meant, I asked if it meant she wanted me to propose marriage. She said no, she didnt mean that, it was just that the ...

A.   4 August 2011: She probably didn't see a future. She didn't necessarily want to be proposed to, but she did want to see that she could end up with you. Where is your life going? You got a good job and career? How is your financial situation? It could have seeme... (read in full...)

Why is marriage old news in UK now?

Q.   Why is marriage old news in UK now?? All the americans that have blogs online all seem to be married like real young (20s) and I swear hardly any people marry in the UK anymore. I actually feel like migrating to USA just because marriage is more ...

A.   3 August 2011: I am in the UK, and my circle of friends are all getting married - and they are in their 30's. Statistically they have much, MUCH, more chance of staying together than people who marry in their teens and their 20's. You are assuming that marriage... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to delete his ex girlfriends' from his Facebook account

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months now and My boy friend still has 2 of his ex-girlfriends in his facebook and I told him its kinda weird and makes me uncomfortable. He keeps just saying that they were never bad people so he sees no ...

A.   3 August 2011: Be careful, you are seeming insecure and needy - and this is an ugly emotion for a guy to see in a girl. He said that they didn't do anything wrong, and he has a point, why should he delete every trace of his history, just to make you feel bet... (read in full...)

If I believe that having sex just for pleasure is a bad thing, is there something wrong with me?

Q.   Okay, i've been having this issue lately and Im just trying to clear my head and figure it out. Im basically wondering: If I believe that having sex just for pleasure is a bad thing, is there something wrong with me? A little background infor...

A.   3 August 2011: I think a lot of people who are your age (and younger) don't always see the consequences of their actions. Things can be done in the moment, for the moment. Whether it is sex, drugs, alcohol, partying. Having said that, there are still plenty of ... (read in full...)

Insecure about his definition of cheating.....

Q.   I'm very interested to know from men how they perceive this man's logic, but also to hear in general from anybody his/her thoughts on this. The other day I spoke with my one year bf and he told me about his ex's. I asked him if he was cheating...

A.   3 August 2011: That sure is a complicated definition of what cheating is. Cheating is pretty simple, isn't it? If you are in a relationship with someone, and you have an agreement that you are exclusive with each other, then if you go and sleep with someone ... (read in full...)

Threesome has affected friendship boundaries

Q.   A couple of years ago, my good friend and his girlfriend came over to my place one night with the intent of having a 3-some; he thought it would be exciting watching me have sex with his girlfriend, and she was all for it too. Anyway, everything ...

A.   2 August 2011: Don't you want more from your life, than sleeping with your mates wife? Like, your own relationship and woman? Your friend is such a loser for sharing his partner with you. But this is about you, not him. If you feel that something is wro... (read in full...)

I'm worried the honeymoon phase is slipping away.....

Q.   Hey, i'm a little worried at my attitude to my relationship with my bf and need some advice. We've been together 10 months, both work full time (shifts) and don't live together. At first, it was lust for me, but after several months, I realised I ...

A.   2 August 2011: The end of a honeymoon period in a relationship is not a bad thing, it is when you start to choose to accept people for who they are, and when you learn to resolve conflicts. It sounds like you are not ready to take the step further to move in ... (read in full...)

Do husbands and/or boyfriends ever regret cheating on their spouse?

Q.   I would like to hear the mens point of view. How did you feel after you cheated? Do you regret it? Why?...

A.   28 July 2011: I don't think there are many people (men or women) who don't feel bad when they cheat on a partner. The difference is that some people cheat, regret it, and learn from it, whereas some other people; "serial" cheaters can feel bad after doing it, but ... (read in full...)

Paid online jobs to help people with their problems?

Q.   Does anyone know if there are any paid jobs where you can help people with their problems online, or would it be voluntary ?. I have been thinking recently that i'd like to have a job where i can help people, and, of course, being on dear cupid made ...

A.   26 July 2011: If you really want to help people (rather than just giving your advice) then your best place is start is to do a introductory course in counselling. Many local colleges offer such courses. Until you are actually 'qualified' to help people, I don't ... (read in full...)

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