A
female
age
30-35,
*ivejust2bJess
writes:My fiance is away for a while visiting his grandma in his hometown, and we were talking on video chat from facebook, and we started talking about when the last time we had sex with other people before we met. Before, he told me when we were dating that he hasnt had sex for almost a year. Then that night he told me he had sex with some girl his friends knew a month before we met. Should I be concerned? What should I do? What should I believe? help me! Tips and advice very much apperciated! 3
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): Am I the only one who is bothered by the fact that the BF lied about his STI risk? You can't detect many STIs only a month afterward.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 November 2011):
I think you should believe what he says.. he had sex with some girl a few months before he met you, and I don't see how that changes anything. Could have slipped his mind when you spoke about it the very first time, or that you perhaps misunderstood him, or he misunderstood you. Misunderstandings happen so frequently, and people word themselves wrong so frequently, that if I was to pick at every contradiction anyone ever tells me I'd have no time for anything else but quarrels about who said what.
He's got no reason to be dishonest with you about it, so don't jump to any negative conclusions. Always give people the benefit of doubt. I say he didn't intentionally lead you on, something was just lost in translation that very first time you spoke about it, or perhaps you and him didn't really know each other too well that very first time. It's just details, the big picture is what matters: it was before you and him!
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (14 November 2011):
Why is this kind of conversation coming up when you are engaged to each other? Sounds like you have got engaged too early in your relationship as you clearly don't know enough about each other about the things that are important to you.
I don't think you should be concerned on what he has told you, but your reaction is a sign that you do not know each other as well as you think you do. Perhaps you should concentrate on that, rather than your engagement. You are, after all, still very young.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (14 November 2011):
 that's not the kind of conversation that just "pops up", let it go it was in the past. she cant have been that memorable. he was probably just trying to impress you with the year ago figure
why are you so worried? are your instincts telling you other things...
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