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My ex is in a relationship

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 March 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2015)
A male New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My ex is in a relationship, the first I know of since we broke up over 5 years ago.

Would it be ok to msg her? She did tell me not to msg her again but she use to say things like this all the time when she got pissed of at me. So I haven't msged her since. It was probably a year ago or more that we spoke. She's the one that's unblocked me from facebook (she had a habit of blocking/unblocking me, yes I know...)

I felt nothing when I read it and have been wanting to msg her for a while but I didn't want her thinking there is any intentions from my side. I am curious how shes doing and everything.

I am in a relationship and have been for 3 years.

View related questions: broke up, facebook

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2015):

SensitiveBloke agony auntDo not contact her. You are in another relationship now. She sounds like the kind of person who will continue to mess you around and blow hot and cold. Stay away!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 March 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIs there REALLY a "question" here???? You and she broke up... a long time ago... both of you are IN new relationships..... WHAT THE F**k??????

Wake up and keep away from this girl. She's entitled to AT LEAST that much from you. (and, P.S.: your current squeeze is ALSO entitled to a little loyalty from you!!!).

Good luck...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015):

when we ask you not contact us, we mean DON'T CONTACT us.

There's no reason for you to contact her. I know I know you said you're in a relationship, but it looks like you're still in love with her. I suggest you break up with your current girlfriend and DON"T contact your ex.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 March 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntwdo as she asked..do not msg her again. get over yourself and gather up new friends and a new life the past is the past. let ir be let it be.

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A female reader, Confused1231986 Australia +, writes (7 March 2015):

No, don't contact her. What's the point in doing that? You will cause dramas in her relationship and yours if your partners find out. It's pretty disrespectful to your now girlfriend too. How do you think she would feel if she found out?

I know you might just be interested in how she is because she played a part in your life but don't drag old relationships into current ones.

Good luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015):

If you've seen her on Facebook, you know how she's doing. She asked you not to message her again, she blocks and unblocks you. That means she's struggling with good and bad memories. It also means you're stalking her on Facebook!

Why open old-wounds or drudge up the past? If you have gone this long, why not just forget about her altogether? She's with somebody else now. You're better-off a fading-memory; than some guy from her past she angrily asked never to message her again. She can't remember you, without remembering why she told you that.

Your feelings are intact, and it took time to heal them.

Let her be! Move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2015):

It would be totally okay to message her. Keep it light though so she knows your just being friendly. Just ask her how she's been. If she seriously doesn't want to talk to you then she doesn't have to reply but there's no harm in trying, right? :) good Luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntNo.

You say :"She did tell me not to msg her again ":

SO DO NOT message her. Focus on YOUR life, YOUR relationship - she seems to be doing JUST fine. LET it go.

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