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... Send *evMick a private message | | | *evMick's profile:I think most of us have days where we feel a little down, but that doesn't mean there is necessarily anything wrong with you.
I try to speak from the heart and give advice that makes sense, comes from personal experience and that you can hopefully relate to your situation.
I'm not perfect, I don't think anyone but Jesus was or is. If I make a mistake in my comment to you, let me know through feedback or a message and I can learn from it.
I counsel a few clients and friends with life issues, faith based issues and anything they need just a welcome shoulder to cry on or talk to.
If I could give one piece of advice to anyone who comes here it would be:
*Be yourself
*Don't let anyone else put you down
*No one can live your life for you
*Make mistakes, but learn from them |
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Should I introduce this married woman to my wife?
Q. I am married. I met this woman some time back. She seems to be very interested in me. She is married. We used to share lot of sms and our own photos. Recently I told her that she is looking good and if we were not married then I would have asked for ...
A. 28 May 2014: Hi,
I would keep them apart. You don't want to mix these two worlds.
She isn't looking to be friends with your wife, so why do you think it's a good idea to have them meet?
I think it's a train wreck waiting to happen.... (read in full...)
My fiancé wants to postpone the wedding?
Q. My fiancé and I have been engaged for almost three years now and we have planned our wedding for about a year now. Our wedding is coming up in July and last week she told me she wants to postpone it because she is scared and she clams to not be ...
A. 28 May 2014: Hi,
I am of the opinion that being engaged for 3 years, and now wanting to postpone says she just doesn't see a future with you.
Yes, as a few aunts have said marriage is a big step, however the 3 years quite clearly speaks volumes about yo... (read in full...)
I am beginning to hate the husband I once loved like life, what do I do?
Q. Dear cupids, my problem lies with my marriage. We married out of love 4 years ago. Have a daughter and live far away from home. Recently I have been feeling less love for my husband that it disturbs me a lot. I don't feel any pinch when I see him ...
A. 27 May 2014: Hi,
Do you hate him because he isn't spending time with you, or because he works away?
If he has a strenuous job or a high stressed job, it could be that he just uses the time with the boys to unwind.
If you only just started hating him,... (read in full...)
We don't make love anymore, we just have sex!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship as of about a year ago. We have been together for 3 years. The last 3 times we have been together we hardly make love and is more like sex. This past weekend we were together after not seeing each other for 4 ...
A. 27 May 2014: Can I interject, we aren't even sure it was about another woman and yet we are jumping to that conclusion. If you read any good dream diagnosis book, sex in a dream rarely means actual sex.
It is extremely difficult to have an erection having j... (read in full...)
Is my new boyfriend a tight wad?
Q. I met a 45 year old lovely guy who said he is ' careful with money' On our first date he asked if I was going to buy the second round of drinks.I laughed and said it was only a coke both times but felt embarrassed me made the point. Then we agreed ...
A. 27 May 2014: Hi, Did the 'then he agreed' actually come around because you had guilted him into it? I've answered similar questions before and I say it again, there is no hard and fast rule about who pays for what. You need to have that discussion before g... (read in full...)
How do we overcome our fear of talking face to face?
Q. Hy...im dating this guy and he's one of those shy kind of guyz and so sweet...we go to the same school but we dont talk at school we only chat when we text so since we've just started dating we haven't really talk face to face so how can i talk to ...
A. 27 May 2014: Hi,
Just go over and say hi, if nothing happens or he doesn't say hi back you can just keep walking.
Ask if you can sit down if there's a free seat.... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend drinking too much?
Q. I have a question about my girfriend. I think for a woman she drinks quite a bit. I am not a big drinker, may be that's why for me it seems like a lot. She ussualy goes between 7-10 drinks a week. She doesn't drink every day, but when she is out w...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi,
From a purely medical stand point you as a woman aren't meant to consume more than 3 drinks in any one 24 hour period. Or weekly around 7 units.
From a social stand point, there is nothing worse than those binge drinkers who drink til th... (read in full...)
Seeing a guy who has a g/f, and also seeing my ex
Q. Soo what do you think about this?.... theres no argument Im clearly crazy! Im a recovery addict who works has teenage children normal looking etc. But this is my problem.... Iv been seeing a guy who has a girlfriend + me he stays at my house 4 ...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi allikat, I don't want to come across harshly and that isn't my intention. However having been on the other side of someone who was exactly like this I can tell you that you are cheating and going to break someones heart. It's like being stab... (read in full...)
I'm about to serve time in prison, so how do I tell my new interest, and how can the relationship survive?
Q. A few days ago, I met this really great guy and even though it's early, things have been going really great for us so far. Yes, I know it's only been a little over a week, but he's been in most of my thoughts and I'm really confident about our ...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi,
I'd be honest and just tell him what happened. But you can't expect anything from him at this early stage.
I'd see about getting some emotional and anger management help, we don't know the reasons behind the violence, but that is neither ... (read in full...)
I think I have anxiety and depression and don't know what to do about it!
Q. hi, i think i have social anxiety and also some depression, what should i do about it? i get really anxious in certain situations, for example going into town clubbing and just generally large group events, im not so bad on the town thing anymore, i ...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi,
I think we aren't really the best place to ask about mood disorders or problems with mental health issues.
I say, get yourself to the GP and talk about your feelings and what happens when you go to these places.
I have a problem with... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to have these thoughts? I have an 'odd' sexuality.
Q. hi, I used to use this site a lot when i was in a dd/lg relationship when I was 17-19. Since then I went of to University and i'm now 21 and about to graduate. I met someone else, who wasn't 35 years older than me (just 10) and who wanted a stable ...
A. 23 May 2014: Forgot to mention, when I was 21 I was dating a 48 year old woman. We went to the Theatre and saw Hamlet, etc.
So, just because you are young there is always things to have in common.... (read in full...)
My friend ditched me when I was going to the hospital. Why did she get angry?
Q. A friend of mine recently got very angry with me, without me understanding why. I was wondering if you could help me with this. I had become quite sick, and wasn't getting any better. I was talking to my friend that Saturday, and she asked me how...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi,
As with everything on this site, we only get one side of the story and based on this I would tend to think your texts possibly came across as a demand rather than 'could you do this as I'm sick.'
So, she saw: "Go to these stores, I know t... (read in full...)
She's been away for two months and I'm getting less and less from her
Q. Hello, this is my first post here, so be gentle :) Im (22y) and halfway in March (so more than 2 months by now) my girlfriend (23y) for 1y5m went to the dominican republic to do her internship abroad, she studies tourism and is doing her work as ...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi Nicholah, Firstly welcome to dearcupid and don't worry don't think anyone here intentionally would be less than gentle when it's deserved. Distance in relationships always takes it's toll, you don't know whether she has met someone abro... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to have these thoughts? I have an 'odd' sexuality.
Q. hi, I used to use this site a lot when i was in a dd/lg relationship when I was 17-19. Since then I went of to University and i'm now 21 and about to graduate. I met someone else, who wasn't 35 years older than me (just 10) and who wanted a stable ...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi,
You're attracted to to who you like, and you happen to like older men.
Is there anything wrong with that? No.
I think other people will have issues, but then don't live your life through other peoples ideals of normal.... (read in full...)
What is your "Ultimate Love Song"?
Q. Ok, totally frivolous, recreational question here... Recently a poster asked suggestions about love songs,.. I'd like to extend the question to know which is for you ,fellow Dear Cupiders, the Ultimate Love Song. Not the best, the most original...
A. 23 May 2014: Dr Hook, A little bit more. Love this song.
Best lyrics are:
When your body's had enough of me
And I'm layin flat out on the floor
When you think I've loved you all I can
I'm gonna love you a little bit more
Come on over here and la... (read in full...)
Bad impression of company after first job interview. Do I send a thank you note or leave it behind?
Q. I recently finished my last semester of university and will be taking just one more class this summer. After that, I will be officially graduated. I had my first professional interview today with a small company. The company has been around for 20 ...
A. 23 May 2014: As someone who has been on both sides of the desk I can say that we are only receiving your side of this.
I have personally had interviews where the candidate was excellent on paper and would have got the job based solely on that. Only for said... (read in full...)
This is a babyshower question. I want to make a good impression.What do you think?
Q. hi, I know this isn't a relationship question, but this question site is the only one I like, I don not like any others so help would be appreciated, thankyou I am holding a baby shower on sunday and have a few cakes to bake - as well as all of t...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi,
I'm not really a baking expert, however I do believe that especially supermarkets don't make theirs on a daily basis and they store them for days on end.
I would say that they will be fine and still as flavorsome and delicious after ... (read in full...)
I have anger issues with my boyfriend and would like help in dealing with them
Q. Hello, im 18 years old. my boyfriend is 19 and we've been dating for about 4 years. (on and off) we've been through pretty much a lot, things i never imagined he would hurt me doing. and well I've been trying to work on my anger issues. i get ...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi itzy,
Do you live together?
I think sometimes when you live in a close environment or are with someone for extended periods, the small things do seem to escalate.
I would try seeking a mediator, someone you both know but who wont take s... (read in full...)
A family, torn apart by congenital and mental disease - how can we help? What do we do?
Q. I am 64 years old, happly married and living in a Mediterranaean Island. My daughter who is 36 is living in Dubin, Ireland with her daughter and her partner. My daughter's partner is probably bipolar and suffereing from other personality ...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi JL27,
If you are concerned about your daughter or grand daughter I would possibly advise seeking a legal solution. See if there is cause for declaring her mother and father unfit to be her guardians.
If your daughter is that much ingrained w... (read in full...)
Should I tell my neighbour I had sex with his wife
Q. The other night I was having beers with a few mates, on my back deck .Being a single male there is always people at my house they come and go as they please pretty relax and social atmosphere My neighbour came over with a drink as her husband ...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi OP,
You screwed up, and I hope you learn from this. I think own up, take the beating you so readily deserve.
It does take 2 to tango, but you my friend did the tango, waltz, horizontal mambo and a whole host of other dances.
She w... (read in full...)
I found porn on girlfriends phone about men with big penis. Should I be worried?
Q. So me and my girlfriend been sexually active and I am actually below average size but my girlfriend says she is fine with it and that she is satisfied. Recently I checked her phone just to go on the internet and on her history it said "big black ...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi Toushite,
I think you are worrying if you measure up in the bedroom department, and as such the fact she has some porn on her mobile phone worries you.
Your mind is racing at 300 miles and hour and you are jumping from, "does she prefer... (read in full...)
After having the baby, I am having trouble controlling my temper!
Q. Hello. Since I had my baby 8 months ago I'm finding it difficult to deal with my temper and I'm always angry or emotional especially with my husband. Me and my husband we been together for 5 years and married for a year and we both are deeply in ...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi OP,
I would please go and see your GP it could be you're suffering from postnatal depression or a hormonal imbalance.
I agree with Honeypie, are you eating regularly? Your body has just gone through a huge change, and it could be somethi... (read in full...)
We haven't kissed or cuddled for years
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for almost ten years. We are a gay couple, but things aren't all rosey I'm afraid. Our sex life has completely broken down for no apparent Reason. I've asked on regular occasions why, but he is older than me by...
A. 20 May 2014: Hi,
Thanks for the question. I'm not sure that sticking in a relationship because of a dog is the right thing to do. It would devastate you having to leave the dog, but your current life is devastating you also.
I would suggest, trialin... (read in full...)
My husband keeps gaining weight and I find it so unattractive!
Q. I'm married to a veteran. We moved to Asia after he got out of the army. He used to look very muscular during his serving time but now after going back to the civil world, he started gaining lots of weight. I know he loves eating and drinking pop ...
A. 16 May 2014: Hi OP. Knowing several ex-army veterans and such, in the army you are constantly on the go with whether that's in the field as it were or on base. The problem with that is when you stop being overly active and even just settle into a civilian... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I'm a clingy nervous wreck and now he won't speak to me
Q. This isn't a new question I posted before regarding a massive problem with my good friend and getting too close and now his perception of me is I'm a cling nervous wreck and we haven't spoke since November apart from a birthday wish in January ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi OP,
I think it's best to leave it be. Impressions are hard to change and require a lot of effort. If he isn't giving you the time of day, how are you going to make him see otherwise?
Learn from it, move on from it and that's really all you c... (read in full...)
I broke off the flirtation because we're both committed to others, but how do I move on?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been on and off in friendship zone with a married guy for over 3 yrs now. He likes me and i like him too. We are very attracted to each other but we can't do anything about it. I haven't seen him for 2 years now coz he moved...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
You are both in relationships and should know better. No matter the content sexting, texting, photo's etc. You did right to stop the flirting, but I think you need to come clean and let your partner know.
You can't move on until you own up... (read in full...)
Married to a man but confused about my sexuality!
Q. I've never felt as troubled as recently. I'm married for about more than a year and a half to a loving man. He's one of the greatest thing ever happened to me. He loves me, makes me smile and always gets me the best things. I think i love him...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
I think you need to not be married to your husband if you are seriously considering going with someone else. This isn't about you being bi, bi-curious or a lesbian. It's about the fact you are in a married relationship with someone.
If you ... (read in full...)
Her unreliability is making me question the relationship
Q. I am a 21 years old guy, am in medical school and i have been dating this girl for 5 months. And i really like her and i know that she really likes me. And i really want to see where this relationship goes. Beside she is my first real girlfriend ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi Joe e,
It sounds like she may have a secret life that she doesn't want to include you on. I hate to say, is it possible she has other people she is seeing?
To cancel once or twice is understandable as life can get in the way, if it's eve... (read in full...)
Wife said I could leave so she can take care of ailing mother.
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3 years and been together for 6. We are very happy and close and I couldn't ask for a better partner! Sometime before we met her mother was diagnosed with a rare cancer and given a very brief life expectancy, ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi Munkey,
I have to say from reading your post, that your wife is looking for a way out of the relationship. I would just ask her if she want's to end the relationship?
That way you can gauge what she is saying and get a better feel for ... (read in full...)
He's farther ahead in terms of committment than I am
Q. Is it possible to love someone yet not be IN LOVE with him? I know for sure I love my BF.. we click very well and do sweet things for each other. We always start the day off with a morning call to each other, talk/text through out the day, and end...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
There's relationship or bf/gf love. There's friends love etc. I would say don't rush into anything because of the LDR, the last thing you want to do is ruin a good friendship or burgeoning relationship.
I agree with others that there is 'b... (read in full...)
I feel too intensely
Q. Anyone else wish they couldn't feel emotions? I feel like everything hurts me. I'm an intense person, I get close quickly and they end up hurting me. I've never been able to have a relationship for more than a year. It takes me ages to get o...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi OP, The brain is a wonderful and complex thing. Unfortunately sometimes chemicals become imbalanced and our thoughts turn inward, become darker or we obsess over things that shouldn't really matter. I don't think you are being emotional, I... (read in full...)
What’s wrong with my friend? How can I help her?
Q. I have a friend. She’s like a sister to me. I’ve known her since she was born, which is 6 months after me. Our moms were best friends and they were both single moms. I had no father and her parents were divorced. For years I’ve thought that she has ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
I think it's time to cut the apron strings. You've been set up all this time to be a replacement mother for your friend.
Some people don't seem to have the switch in their brain that tells them to change their behavior if they want differ... (read in full...)
I said he wasn't making much effort so now I'm judgemental
Q. Im in a bit of a dilemma. I met a guy online for the first time Saturday. We got in really well talking. He was late and texted me on the way. Then he turned up and hadn't shaved or had his hair cut or ironed his shirt. Hes a nice looking guy so he ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
I'm really sorry but loosing your temper because, he isn't up to your standards?
And who are you again? As far as I see it, you aren't his mother, partner, girlfriend or even friend. You went on a date with someone and now all of a sudden ... (read in full...)
I'm so sick and tired of being leeched off of.
Q. Here's the situation. I use to live alone in a two bedroom apartment. One room for me to sleep, use computer, hang out, etc. The other room was my workout room with all my weights, benchs, punching bag, etc. I enjoyed the solitary lifestyle. My own ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
I know this all too well unfortunately. I started letting a parishioner who had fallen on rough times use my spare room. A year later and said parishioner had stolen things while I was out and then disappeared.
I think that letting your fam... (read in full...)
Boyfriend showers with his friend?
Q. My boyfriend was telling me about a drunken night the other weekend, and told me he ended up showering with his (guy) friend. Then he told me that he'd also showered with a different (guy) friend on a couple occasions. I was confused, and as...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
I know in college and school everyone would shower together communally. It could be that your boyfriend has less of an issue with being naked etc with other men.
You said you've never had reason to doubt him before, why would you start ... (read in full...)
When I'm drinking I don't find him attractive anymore, why is this?
Q. I've never experienced this before and it's incredibly unusual for me! Usually they say when you drink someone looks more attractive.. But the guy I'm dating, he looks very good looking when I'm sober, yet once I've started drinking he starts ...
A. 15 May 2014: Hi,
I think that when you are sober, you have a lower sense of self worth (3 of 5) or self image and so you see your boyfriend as an attractive man on your scale.
However, when you are drunk your self image increases and you begin to think y... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to talk about what he wants?
Q. i have a hard time getting my boyfriend to talk to me about things-especially in terms of the future. i am divorced and he had been engaged in the past. i never used to think i would want to get married but being with him has changed that-i know in ...
A. 14 May 2014: Hi,
I think the problem is most people (not all) now see marriage as a way to get half of someones stuff if it doesn't work.
Divorce is such a huge business and people spend thousands of pounds/dollars to come out on top.
This has left a... (read in full...)
Is it always the guy's fault when things go wrong?
Q. Its going to be a long story so please be patient. In Dec 2010, I met this girl in a party, we clicked instantly and hooked up in the next week itself. 2011 was a breeze, we had an amazing time, took vacations, had sex like crazy. We were a fun co...
A. 14 May 2014: Hi manonmoon,
Unfortunately blame is normally given in the man's direction. However in reality both parties can be at fault. It depends on the problem and the situation.... (read in full...)
My crush is bi and so am I!
Q. I have a really good friend and we've been really good friends for a couple of years now and we're really similar with loads in common. We're both bisexual, but she's the only one out of us who is 'out'. She doesn't exactly parade it around but if ...
A. 14 May 2014: Hi,
If you both like each other, and it seems you do then go for it. I wouldn't be bothered what anyone else thinks. Your family would be OK with it (so that's the only people who should matter).
If you don't at least try a relationship, ho... (read in full...)
I want to stay friends with 'the other woman' but she says she hates me
Q. I am a separated male who still is friendly with my wife, we have 2 beautiful teenage girls and we remain very close after 6 years of separation. We still share family vacations and days out as a family and even the bed 1 - 2 times a month. I live...
A. 14 May 2014: Hi,
You mention friends but what you really mean is, I'm sorry to use this word but 'fuck buddy'. You can't have your cake and eat everyone else's cake too.
If you are happy with your wife in terms of everything but sex, then you need to work... (read in full...)
What to say to this inquisitive but kind work colleague?
Q. a woman at my workplace similar age to me (35-40) may at times asks me what I think of my colleagues, she has only been working at my workplace a few months and I dont know her well and dont work everyday with her, but I do li...
A. 14 May 2014: Hi OP,
I would refrain from talking about colleagues in a work environment (heck even outside of work) for the simple reason, there is a lot of office politics that goes on in any work place.
Everyone wants to get the juicy gossip and store... (read in full...)
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