A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a new questionI posted before regarding a massive problem with my good friend and getting too close and now his perception of me is I'm a cling nervous wreck and we haven't spoke since November apart from a birthday wish in Januaryanyway yesterday (we work in the same building )He came to my floor - weird as hes never been up before so I had my back turned and as I turned around saw him and it might have been my paranoia but I'm sure he looked awkward and tried to avoid eye contact Anyway I didn't react and acted cool and didnt wave but just walked back to my deskHe still hates me and I'm worried his perception will never changePs we are but on speaking terns- he won't talk or acknowledge me so this is very hard Please help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2014): It depends on what you mean by "positive"
It's positive in the fact that it means that he DOESN'T hate you (as you feared) and he doen't bare malice towards you.
It does not necessarily mean that he wants to continue your friendship however (so it can't be perceived as positive in that respect)
He probably just wants a nice civil working environment with appropriate boundaries.
Be polite back but don't actively pursue a friendship with him. Communicate with him only when you need to and keep it strictly professional.
Your romantic feelings towards him will subside with time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2014): Omg ok so today I saw him in a lift at work and he walked past and said good morning !!!!!
Tonight I saw him again and he shook my hand on entering the party and leaving and said a few words
I'm so shocked....... Is this positive ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2014): I would like to think in future we would talk again but since he won't speak or acknowledge me what can i do ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2014): Hatred has nothing to do with anything. He just doesn't wish to have a friendship with you, and he is trying not to encourage any further communication between you. It's not hatred as you see it, it's a boundary.
You can't please everyone; and this particular situation may motivate you to introspect, and work on behavior that may adversely effect friendships and romantic relationships.
Don't beat yourself up, this is just another life-lesson.
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A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (15 May 2014):
 I had a guy who cut me out of his life once cuz I got on his nerve by pressing an issue I shouldn't have... but I refused to leave. I stuck around.. I encouraged and supported from a distance. After about 5 months, he talked to me again and we are now friends again.
It may take some time.. so just be patient and continue on with your life. No need to act cool when you cross paths, just smile and keep going. You both work in the same company so there will be opportunities to bump into each other. He's still kind of around.. so really, just give it some time.
I'm sure you'll both talk again. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (15 May 2014):
 Hi OP,
I think it's best to leave it be. Impressions are hard to change and require a lot of effort. If he isn't giving you the time of day, how are you going to make him see otherwise?
Learn from it, move on from it and that's really all you can do.
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