A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in a long distance relationship as of about a year ago. We have been together for 3 years. The last 3 times we have been together we hardly make love and is more like sex. This past weekend we were together after not seeing each other for 4 weeks. We hadn't made love yet after two days of being together. The last night he fell asleep and after about an hour started humping my leg in his sleep. I let this go on for a bit then woke him up. I asked what he was dreaming about; he said making love.. To you. I then proceeded to say let's make love and kissed him etc. long story short, it seemed he didn't want to and he couldn't get/keep an erection.I was dually hurt over him having a "get after it" kind of sex dream not sure it was with me as he couldn't give me any details and also because we didn't make love. Question- do men remember their sex dreams? Is it odd he wouldn't tell me about it? Also, should I let it go or say something more about my disappointment? I feel he was having sex with another woman in his dream and isn't interested in me. He says we haven't had the time to be intimate.Thank you in advance for your thoughts and input.
View related questions:
erection, long distance, sex with another Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2014): What are you getting out of this relationship? I'm the same age as you and I have found out that life is short and shouldn't be wasted on being with someone who is sort of into you. Embrace your magnificent self and find someone who agrees and has a similar libido to yours. Try a scientist the next time around.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 May 2014):
 Two thoughts come to mind.
1. Men don't have to "remember" their sex dreams, because that is all we ever think about..... constantly, and,
2. " He says we haven't had the time to be intimate." If that's so.... then WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU HAD "TIME FOR"??????
I've given this opinion before, and stand by it:
If two people are not compatible in regard to sex and intimacy, then their "relationship" cannot survive...
Good luck.
P.S. Think, again, about what he DOES "have the time for"....
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (28 May 2014):
 I would say you're more focused on the wrong thing. Yes, I am a firm believer that dreams have a deeper meaning. However, sex dreams don't tend to represent sex as a whole. Often times, sex dreams may represent a number of different things, sex being completely irrelevant, depending on who is partaking in the act with the dreamer. For example, dreaming of sex with your boss may represent a longing for more power. Make sense?
Anyway, all that being said, his dream shouldn't be what is bothering you. His actions in real life should be. If you feel the spark is fading and the desire is down the drain, that's what matters - not his sex dream.
Talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling. You've been together for three years - certainly you two know how to communicate. Stop asking for details of his dream, as they don't matter in waking life. Your relationship does. Tell him you would like to work to rekindle the spark between you. See what he says and go from there.
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (27 May 2014):
People can't control their dreams. Maybe he didn't tell you because he knew you'd get upse. Heck, I am so, so in love with my husband and think he's the sexiest man alive, and even I have occasional dreams about sex with other men. It's normal.
...............................
A
male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (27 May 2014):
 Can I interject, we aren't even sure it was about another woman and yet we are jumping to that conclusion. If you read any good dream diagnosis book, sex in a dream rarely means actual sex.
It is extremely difficult to have an erection having just woken up, the blood that was engorging the erect penis now because he is awake is needed in other areas of the body. Hence it goes down.
...............................
|
