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female
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anonymous
writes: My Boyfriend and I have been together three years on and off. One year ago, I decided to travel to the UK to work. Initially he decided he wanted to stay put, but after I left, he decided to follow me over, as he missed me. Thing is, one year later, he had decided to go back home, and I have decided I want to stay in the UK. I am finding things really hard this time, whereas, he is not worried. I am constantly asking him whether he thinks our relationship will stand the distance for another year, and asking him how he views our relationship. My constant questioning is scaring him off. But I can't help but worry about losing him. Why is it that I am so worried this time around, and he is not? It's like roles reversed as to this time one year ago. What can I do to ensure our relationship stands the distance? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2005): I find the other answer to be s*^t. I myself have been in a relationship with a guy I love very much, but of our 2 1/2 years together, 2 of them have been apart! I will see him for the first time in 2 years this Christmas, and we still love each other as much as ever. Pictures, letters, emails, calling, we live in the information and communication age. The world is not so huge anymore. My brother too was in a long-distance relationship for 6 years, seeing his girlfriend sporadically, as she was in Japan and he was in Texas. They are now married and she is pregnant. These things do work, but it has to be mutual desire on both ends. If one person is unsure, the other person has to be a big enough part of their life to make it work. Touching, sex, contact with the person you love is so special, believe me. And when you have it all the time, the specialness oftentimes wears off. So, you and your guy need to figure out if your futures conatin each other or even the possibility of each other, and go from there. Be flexible, be willing to compromise--and if you're not, THEN it's not worth it.(Wish me luck this Christmas-I'm very nervous!)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2005): I think that you should give up the relationship and become friends as long distant relationships don't usually last very long.
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reader, pops +, writes (1 September 2005):
What kind of job is possibly worth giving up a truly worthwhile and loving relationship? If you love this guy, tell him you miss him, and head on home to him. If you continue to put your jub ahead of him, don't be surprised to see him take a hike.
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A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (31 August 2005):
You are worried and feeling insecure. Your partner feels fine with the separation now and suddenly you don't. Share your feelings with your partner, instead of asking constant questions try telling him you feel the same way he did before. When we are left it is sometimes taken as a sign of rejection and abandonment. Which may be why he felt bad when you left him initially. Your perception has shifted. Keep up communicating. Long distance relationships are never easy. Accept your feelings.
Delila
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