A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont understand guys!I've been doing a bit of online dating, met a guy we went out for a drink, we got on really well but i didnt fancy him at all. He text me a few days later and asked me out on a second date which i agreed to, just to make sure... We went out for dinner and then went for a drink he was very keen which puts me off... Anyway i told him that i dont fall for people immediately and it takes me time, i still wasn't keen. This seemed to piss him off quite a bit, so when i got home i sent him a text saying 'sorry thats how i work, i do quite like you' so we set another date during the day which went really well but i still wasn't keen. He told me that he really likes me and we did hold hands even though I wasn't keen. It strange because all this time we'd been texting each other almost everyday and got on really well. So on the day-date i basically told him that i sort of like him but not enough and i enjoy his company and i think we should still both see other people, he seemed a bit bummed but agreed. We agreed that he would come over to mine on sat and i would cook, as i think it would help him get to know me better in my own environment. He had a date a few days before he came over to mine i was a little jealous but not much, i asked him after his date by text how it went, because he always did that with me and he always got jealous. He texted back saying it was fine. On the saturday morning he was due round in the evening, he text me to cancel and said he had a good time on his date and wanted to see what happens, i was a bit bummed but fair enough! I didnt hear from him then four days later i drunk texted him and said 'i sort of miss you actually' he immediately texted me and suggested we meet up, i agreed and we set a day for 2 weeks time. 2 days later it was the weekend and i was ill and we were texting as usual and he phoned me, we spoke for an hour and i was telling him how i was watching tv alone and then he was like 'im coming over to keep you company' so he drove over, i looked disgusting i was in my PJs and had no make up on, anyway that night we kissed and he stayed over in my bed- nothing happened just cuddles - it was nice. He told me about his date with the girl and said they slept together on the first date and it never works out when that happens. We texted all the next week and then he came over for dinner as we had agreed and it was nice, that night we had sex.... It wasn't great and he did lots of dirty talk but i was pleased it happened then the next morning he left at 9am because he had a date planned at 12 for coffee!!!! Wtf!!! I played it cool but was sooo annoyed inside. Anyway we carried on texting that week and met on friday for a cinema date. I'd been drunk texting him the night before saying make sure you bring your toothbrush ;) , i got to the cinema and he was really strange just playing on his phone? I asked him how his week was but not much of an answer then we got some popcorn and he started asking me what happened on Tuesday... For some reason i didn't text him back on tuesday and he assumed i was on a date he kept pestering and asking me how it went until i finally told him there was no date on tuesday. But strange that he kept pestering! The film finished and we went back to mine and he was a bit of an idiot, i was saying 'no funny business tonight' then he was like 'what really, well im going home then!' I couldnt tell if he was joking or not. Anyway we went to bed and i was so tired but we had sex again and this time it was really good!! Next morning he was saying things like 'i can have you whenever i like, but i could take you or leave you to be honest' he was like 'lets see who texts who first this week' i havent texted him until two days ago and hes very distant and hasn't really replied? Hes odd because he's very hot and cold one minute really likes me, the next behaving like an idiot?? I dont know what to do because every since he went in the date that went well ive started to really like him!!??
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female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (18 October 2014):
 You say you don't understand. It seems to make perfect sense to me. You weren't keen on him in the beginning. You brushed him off multiple times and then ultimately said you wanted to see other people. So he did. Now you are keen on him but he isn't so into you, he is seeing other people as you told him to do. You were very hot and cold with him from the start and now he is the same way.
To be honest I am shocked you texted him after he made the statement "I can have you whenever I like, but I can take you or leave you to be honest." He is treating you like garbage and you are allowing it. People will treat you how you allow them to. And he is using you for sex and a good time here and there because you are letting it happen. He isn't being an idiot, he just isn't into you for anything more than some sex. Which he outright told you when he said he can take you or leave you, and when he threatened to go home when you said no sex. What is there to misunderstand?
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 October 2014):
 No, it only gets worse now you may both be idiots?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 October 2014):
 I think you are both blowing hot and cold and he's lying about dating another girl. At least you have more manners and tell him the truth. He sounds like he had been frustrated being rejecting by girls for being a nice guy and he's trying some bad boy tactics to get a girl interested. He's being very obvious too and strangely you got to like him. I would keep dating him and see what he's all about but I would really urge him to be nice and use kind words. If he's not lying and is a player then I am not interested in seeing him anymore. At the beginning of the dating stage I would spend more time outdoors than inside though.
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