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I'm worried my lack of sexual experience will drive my boyfriend away

Tagged as: Age differences, Family, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am 43 and have had a few boyfrineds but it never lasted so am a virgin at 43 and all my life i was a carer for my parents and never went out, since they died i have tried to meet new people but find it hard until i met somebody that is 15 years older than me a widower with 2 grown up kids and he is my boyfriend and i found it so hard to tell him that i am still a virgin at 43 without not wanting him to think it is weird and he replied with thats its alright and he will make it special and thinks its cute but now i am so nervous that my lack of experience will just drive him away and also worry now as he wants me to meet his children and wonder what happens if they dont like me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2014):

lack of experience is usually not a deal-breaker for men the way it is for women the way I've observed things, so I wouldn't worry about it since you are a woman.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2014):

I won't put virginity on a pedestal like other aunts have done. But I will say this; it is neither special nor terrible.

It's when you give it labels like good or bad that you get all these pressures and expectations.

Approach it like you would any other first experience - with enthusiasm and an open mind.

Sexual 'experience' is overrated because everyone is different. You have to learn from scratch the likes and dislikes of each new partner you have. You also discover more about your own likes and dislikes with said partner.

Really, you're in the same boat as anyone else with a new sexual partner. You're no more special or disadvantaged.

Even those already in relationships continue learning and discovering each other.

Wishin you some happy lovin!

Ps. Just to add a biological fact here - the tightness of your vagina has nothing to do with the number of sexual partners you've had. It does not get loose from having sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2014):

I am in my mid 40s and I lost my virginity to my boyfriend who is also 15 years older than I am.

He had plenty of experience to guide me thorough and he was patient and loving etc. I can tell you that although he did find it a unique situation, he was actually quite excited by it.

Once it was done and the awkward part was over, we started having a great time together. Lots of experimenting and fun and it just got better and better over time. Now almost a year later, the chemistry is still intense and for both of us the best sex of our lives.

Who would have ever thought THAT when he hooked up with a virgin! Lol But now I am a vixen in the bedroom. Unstoppable! You will gain more confidence as you go and as you get to know each other and feel more comfortable with each other and what turns each of you on.

It is an amazing and exciting journey! Enjoy it all and consider yourselves very lucky!!! It is going to be a blast. And know what else, he loved my TIGHT vagina. What a bonus. Most men in his age group would only dream of coming across a woman who has never done it before.

We are every man's dream. It is all good. Good luck! You are both going to be very happy! ;)Just relax and enjoy it all. You are both very lucky!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2014):

This is an easy one - if hes worth being your boyfriend it won't matter one bit.

If theres any adverse reaction, hes not right for you and it'd be a wake up call you're with the wrong person.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 October 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntTrust me, Once he finds out you're a virgin he will be thrilled and will love you even more than now. You are a rare find and men are in awe of women like you.No worries!

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