A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, we've been together for 5 years and we lose that spark we had before. We almost argues and fight all the time and we broke up 3 months before and now getting back together again. But things has changed and so do our feelings. He said he doesn't know what he expect from this relationship as he feels we are too different people ( different background and hobby and thought). He's going to propose marry me next year, prepared all the things and I rejected him and since then he's so depressed and maybe that changes his feeling to me and become insecure and hard to trust me again. I'm the one who initiates dates and meeting now. He also doent make surprise for my birthday like before although he take me out for dinner and buy me gift. But he's just not excited like before. He got angry easily and said he's tired when we argue and ask me what do I think about our relationship? What if we are not together? While I can calm him down and promised I would change not nagging and asking to much. He's not used to be like this. I'm so sad right now. I know he's trying hard to gain money for our future but now I'm unsure about it as he said he doesn't want to think much anymore. Could it be some factor why he act like this?However, when we don't argue and things went right, he's still invites me to his family gatherings and still treat me like his girlfriend when we met. He's kind as usual to me and he also tell me to think what bedroom design that I like for us ( he also ask about it before he propose) which is good indicator that he's still thinking about marriage in future. I'm kind of introvert and don't have many friends. He said I can't help him much with him dealing with his problem as I don't have much knowledge and common sense because I don't socializing. I think its true. I don't know much about what happen outside. He told me to go outing and socialiizng more so that I can learn more and be more mature. ?He said there's no woman like me nowadays that not thinking of career and doesn't want to move forward. I don't know why I feel so small after he told me that although I realize its true. He said he's okay with me being like this and tell me to do what I can and don't bother what he does. He knows which is right or wrong. I feel so helpless and depressed. I wish I can be more better person for him? I don't know why he loves me while I don't have any good quality in myself. Everytime I asked him about this he got angry. I just feeling so lonely and insecure right now and become so depend on him. I don't have much choice. What can I do to create that spark we had before again? And what can I do to bridge our relationship and better myself? I want to be with him but I just don't know how to make this relationship better and stuck at here.. I don't understand what he's thinking and what should I do.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, insecure, money, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 October 2014):
 It sounds like he has got you pretty much under his control and is also demonstrating his superiority(alledged). i think he is one of these kind of guys that thinks he is a ledgend in his own mind and has you convinced of it to. I'd bet that you are a very sweet shy young lady with conservative upbringing and as such feel overwhelmed by this bloated ego of his. part of his advice is good though. try getting out some with some girlfriends and learning about what makes the world go around. Keep watch for him though. You might be in a destiny of his design. Be very carefull. love yourself first before being too concerned about molding yourself into the mold he dictates.Best wishes for an awakening to this wonderful life. Just go slowly and be careful.
|
