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I want to share a place with someone but not a boyfriend or my parents... any ideas?

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Question - (29 April 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I was diagnosed with the mental illness (bipolar) over a year ago when I was 21, now you're probably looking at this and thinking then you deserve to be alone but what's a plan for not living alone that doesn't include my parents as life partners? I'd dated but never had a serious boyfriend..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

I have a mental illness as well. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I spent 6 years in and out of the psychiatric ward. I prepared to spend a life alone. After my last 8 month admission things changed. I met a wonderful guy (that does not have a mental illness). We're engaged now and are buying a house together. Prior to him, I've never had a serious relationship.

What I'm saying is that there is still hope for you. Even with a mental illness.

With that said, you probably still want to find a place for yourself in the meantime?

There are options. There are apartments specifically for people with mental illness. They're not group homes though. They're a community for people will illnesses and they can rent a place in the building and it includes extra support available to you. With that, you'll be surrounded with people that understand you.

If you don't like that idea, why don't you ask a friend to rent a place with you? If you don't want to be alone, a roommate could be a good solution. That would also help offset the cost of rent.

There are ways to meet people. I'm sure you know of sites like "plenty of fish"...but have you ever heard of "No Longer Lonely"? It's a website to meet people with mental illnesses in your area.

Those are just a couple of ideas. Your best bet is probably to find a friend that would be willing to get a place with you. Good luck! :)

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (30 April 2010):

Not My Name agony auntThe first plan would be to stop thinking yourself unworthy of the simple things others take for granted.

Mental illness in one form or another effects 1 in 4 people. Do you think someone with arthritis and needing medication is unworthy? No, of course not, ... so what is the diff here hun? You may not be able to go around wearing a bandage on your head so people understand what you have is just another physical affliction (and it is physical - it is messed up brain chemicals) but you need to get that thinking right with yourself so you don't continue thinking negatively of yourself.

You could look for adverts for shared accomodation, sound any friends out who may want to move out too, or even get your own place and advertise for someone else to move in with you. You dont need to disclose anything to them either, ...I've never walked up to anyone and felt I should give them a medical history report. Just make sure you keep on top of managing your condition.

There is no need to think you are going to have to live with your parents for ever, or alone for that matter ...My sister in law has bi-polar and moved out of home at 18 (now 35), and has virtually always had people living with her. My besty has OCD, mooved out at 17, is now 46, and has never spent a day in her life living alone, ... I could go on and on with people I know with mental illness having lives as productive and full as the next person.

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