Like what
he writes?
... Add *amatjira to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *amatjira a private message | | | *amatjira's profile:While I have attended counselling courses in the past I forgot most of it when I went through my own challenges. Somehow the theory seemed inadequate.
I have been married and divorced several times, have travelled a lot, while usually a positive upbeat personality I have also experienced depression first hand and I know what rejection and having your heart broken feels like.
Life goes on. I am now single, writing another book, learning another language, and keeping my eyes open for that magical princess who will capture my heart. And yes I do believe in love at first sight and fairy stories.
I am old enough to have learned a few lessons and young enough to make some more mistakes.
C'est la vie |
|
Do I go out with him even although he has a girlfriend and says she mustn't know?
Q. hi, I'm 16 almost 17 and ive been with my boyfriend for 8 months but recently discovered one of the boys I know in my street as we are all very close because we live in like a culdesac sort of thing closed off. I noticed he looks at me when ...
A. 9 February 2008: It sounds like you know it is wrong but you are still attracted. This is not a good combination and I would suggest you need to really consider what is more important. This new attraction, or your boyfriend. Because I can assure you that it is ... (read in full...)
What to give a guy for Valentine's Day?
Q. Hey Guys! I need some advice. I have been dateing my man for over 7 months now. I love him to pieces. Valentine's day is about to come and I have no idea what to give him! He is into the car industry. He loves raceing and fixing his Mazda RX ...
A. 9 February 2008: Not sure the school girl idea at his work is a good idea. It could be misconstrued by his colleagues and more importantly his boss so he might be more than embarrassed. It could affect his job.
I would suggest a more 'adult' style of dress if... (read in full...)
Our relationship is going stale, he's perfect in every other way, now his friend is flirting with me, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years now. My boyfriend and I recently got back together after a 5 month long break. The problem is, I don't know if I'm really in love with him. He is dependable, sweet, and loves me. He treats me so well. ...
A. 5 February 2008: Hi,
Life and love can be so confusing sometimes. I think the others have given you some good advice and I certainly agree that if this new guy is prepared to go behind his mates back and hit on his girlfriend then he does not possess much loyalty.... (read in full...)
We had sex and then we broke up! Can I really be put in jail because of this?
Q. Ok, I was dating this girl for over a year, and we had sex a few months ago. Just recently (last night) we broke up, I do love and care about her, I just felt like the relationship was far too serious, and I did not want to be in anymore. After we ...
A. 5 February 2008: Once again I do not believe that Statutory Rape can exist between a 17 year old and a 15 year old. Now my understanding is that the California Code will regard both you and her as under the age of consent which I think is 18 in that state. Therefore ... (read in full...)
What to give a guy for Valentine's Day?
Q. Hey Guys! I need some advice. I have been dateing my man for over 7 months now. I love him to pieces. Valentine's day is about to come and I have no idea what to give him! He is into the car industry. He loves raceing and fixing his Mazda RX ...
A. 5 February 2008: Hi. I like all the choices you have suggested and they would certainly get my attention. Certainly be creative, it is better than doing the same as everybody else. Be careful with what you do give/do as there must be some part of it that he can tell ... (read in full...)
Do I go out with him even although he has a girlfriend and says she mustn't know?
Q. hi, I'm 16 almost 17 and ive been with my boyfriend for 8 months but recently discovered one of the boys I know in my street as we are all very close because we live in like a culdesac sort of thing closed off. I noticed he looks at me when ...
A. 5 February 2008: His saying that none of them has to know means that he is only interested in one thing. He is clearly dishonest in his nature because he is quite willing to plan something that is dishonest and wants you to collude.
You need to put him straight... (read in full...)
AM I A FOOL?
Q. I had an affair which has subsequently culminated in the end of my marriage. My lover attempted to leave his wife several times during our affair but never quite found the strength. He finished our relationship around the same time my marriage broke ...
A. 5 February 2008: I hate to say this but he is not good enough for you. You deserve to be the centre of someone's universe while he is clearly still more committed to his wife than anyone else.
You will have to get over it and maybe you need to put some distance... (read in full...)
I'm scared to show my long distance boyfriend my webcam.
Q. I'm scared to get on web cam for my long distance boyfriend. I'm 18 years old and I met my boyfriend off the internet, he lives pretty far away from me, we talk on the phone and we already plan on meeting really soon, sometime in the next month or ...
A. 5 February 2008: Do not worry about the web cam, but also do not get drawn into showing more on the web cam than you want. Until you have met him in person and have had the chance to assess his sincerity up close you do not really know him. Protect yourself first.
... (read in full...)
Clingyness and mood swings.
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. My girlfriend has had moodswings since we started going out but lately it's just been out of control and on top of that she calls me like every two seconds and don't get me wrong I like talking to her but not when ...
A. 5 February 2008: If she is around the same age as you then all this could simply be the emotional mix up that is puberty. It is likely that there is nothing being hidden or concealed from you. Just be kind and understanding but do not be a door mat. Don't get drawn ... (read in full...)
We had sex and then we broke up! Can I really be put in jail because of this?
Q. Ok, I was dating this girl for over a year, and we had sex a few months ago. Just recently (last night) we broke up, I do love and care about her, I just felt like the relationship was far too serious, and I did not want to be in anymore. After we ...
A. 5 February 2008: For Statutory Rape the accused must be a legal adult which at 17 you are not. From reading some of the other answers I think some people have confused a charge of rape with a charge of statutory rape.
For a Rape charge to be defended against ... (read in full...)
What to do on the first date
Q. Hello, got a quick question, theres a girl who im going to make a go with, we get on well, her 2 best mates are my 2 best mates girls, and we both like each other, so everything is set. Only thing is, im in a bit of a rut, i want to ask her out on ...
A. 5 February 2008: As the others have said, cinema as a first date is not good. Eating out is provided it is in one of those restaurants where you can take your time and the background noise is quiet enough to have a decent conversation. On the other hand you c... (read in full...)
Is he flirting with this other girl?
Q. I might need your help with this situation. Hope there is someone who can help. My ex... who was at a meeting tonight and asked me if I was coming confused me. I still like him but am about to give up. He was flirting with another girl a bit in ...
A. 5 February 2008: You refer to him as your ex but you are treating and responding to him as if he is your current and not your ex. You cannot have it both ways. You need to decide if you want to continue just as friends with him or if you find that too hard to do, ... (read in full...)
Can anyone possibly help me with that "married man dilemma"?
Q. Can anyone possibly help me with that "married man dilemma"? First, I am very aware of the sentiments of most of the advisers here, so let me say right off the bat that I have always agreed on the point but I am in such deep distress right now that ...
A. 5 February 2008: Oh dear. You have really got a problem and it is likely that there is no easy answer. With regard to your first question, yes it is possible but I believe that when this does happen it is because the pre-existing relationships are weakened by othe... (read in full...)
Is his controlling behaviour normal?
Q. my boyfriend is coming across as very controlling recently he trys to make sure how long I can stay out for and who my friends can be. I can't wear skirts and he is going on a boy's holiday and I can't go on a girl's one. I do not understa...
A. 5 February 2008: Hi, Unfortunately this is a real problem that could get much worse. I wish I had good news to tell you but unless you stand up to him now and tell him clearly that his treatment of you is unacceptable then you will only be setting yourself up to b... (read in full...)
I think it's time I really had a boyfriend but I don't know what to do!
Q. I am 14 years old and have never had a boyfriend. Everyone at school says that I should have one because I'm "pretty" and have a great personality once they get to know me but I really don't know. I am actually pretty shy around everyone until I ...
A. 5 February 2008: Hi, You are at that stage in your life when everything inside you wants to both grow up quickly and yet at the same time stay as a child. These conflicting emotions along with all the changes taking place as you mature, make it a really difficult... (read in full...)
I slept with my friend who has a boyfriend and I feel crappy.
Q. I slept with my friend who has a boyfriend. I'm so torn up. I feel very guilty, but at the same time I wanted it to happen. I like this girl a lot. But we live in opposite sides of the country (right now). She basically told me to pretend like ...
A. 5 February 2008: Hi, When you say that she does not seem to say much about her boyfriend, could it be that really she is uncomfortable talking about him with you. She may have quite serious feelings but because you are friends and she now knows how you really f... (read in full...)
What can I do to earn extra money and still spend enough time with my kids?
Q. Quick question. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do on the weekends to earn extra money but still spend time with my children? I already work full time and my evenings and weekends are usually spent cooking, cleaning and tending ...
A. 29 January 2008: A lot depends on how much extra income you need but if the answer is that even a small amount will make a big difference then you have a few choices.
When I was small my mother took in sewing, did knitting (and bought a knitting machine to do it... (read in full...)
If a guy asks for a hug does this mean he is interested in me?
Q. There is a man at work (different departments, we don't see each other every day) that I have been friendly with the past few months and I believe there has been a spark going on (for sure it has for me, not completely sure about his side). ...
A. 29 January 2008: Sometimes a guy will ask for a hug from a person he is interested in. If he is a caring person then he may also offer a hug to someone he thinks is feeling down. Sometimes he might just be miserable and need a boost. So many factors can affect it.
... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my older sister
Q. hi, i am 15 and in love with my 20 year old sister. when i was about 10 she used to put lip stick on and kiss me on my cheek ect. how do i find out if she loves me without me asking her...
A. 29 January 2008: While I can understand the variety of reactions you have received on this I am concerned that you seem to have had little assistance in figuring out what to do.
At your age you are discovering adult feelings for the first time and with an intensit... (read in full...)
Can fighting/arguments be good for a relationship?
Q. Hi guys. I just have a general relationships question that I've been pondering for quite some time now and I'd really like some outside oppinions. Okay so, do you guys find that fighting/arguments are helpful or detrimental to a relationship? Is it ...
A. 29 January 2008: Hi,
This is a subject that I feel strongly about, but then I was a battered husband. My ex had extreme tempers which she used to manipulate those around her (not just me). So my answer regarding aggression is that it is unhealthy and does not belo... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend is married, but his wife doesn't care, he still wants a future together, should I bother?
Q. please help is there anyone out there who has been involved with a married man? I met the most wonderful man almost two years ago. two months after dating him i found out he was married. I was crushed but couldnt drag myself away. His wife knows ...
A. 29 January 2008: Hi,
This question is not as easy to answer as some might think. Consider the worst case if everything he and his wife have said is true and that they will stay together for the kids only. Now ask yourself - how old is the youngest? How many yea... (read in full...)
What shall I wear for my date with with an old friend??
Q. I recently met up with a old elementary school friend, whose really sweet and nice, but wants to take me out on a date.Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. But, here's the classic question: What the heck do I wear when I don't have a clue where we're go...
A. 12 January 2008: Hi,
Why not just ask him whether jeans or a dress is best for where you will be going? Often guys do not even think about what a girl would be best to wear so he is unlikely to be put off or upset in any way and would most likely be glad you thou... (read in full...)
How can I make him understand I am not single anymore and am totally committed to him??
Q. Ok, I'm 19, my BF is 22 and he doesn't trust me at all! In my past, I've kissed 4 other guys and gave oral sex to one of them, who happens to be the ex mutual friend who introduced my BF and me. The other 3 guys were guys I had just met at parties,...
A. 12 January 2008: Hi,
You are in a difficult position and one which has no easy answer or magic cure. He is clearly jealous and seems to be controlling which is not a good combination. Given his age I would guess that his emotional maturity is not fully develope... (read in full...)
How can I help my wife cope with her grief??
Q. hi, I need some help my father in law died 2 weeks ago and as you may tell my wife is not too good at the moment. Well at first she wouldn't talk to me or anything or even hug me because she was frigthened that she would start crying and not be a...
A. 12 January 2008: Hi,
This is an incredibly traumatic time for both of you. The death of someone close is not something that can be got over in weeks or months even and sometimes never. What happens is we cope and our ability to cope improves.
I am a poet and ha... (read in full...)
I like this new girl, but I still have feelings for my best friend. Please advise.
Q. okay so i havent been on this site for a while and I wanna say thanx for those who has helped me...so i come again with another problem..I've been in love(it's defenantly love) with my bestfriend for over 2 yrs, never made a move because I still am ...
A. 21 December 2007: Hi, your dilemma is one that many people face. I have been in love with my best friend for years and she knows it, but we also both know that it will never be anything more than friends between us. She just does not see me as someone she could have ... (read in full...)
He's a cheapskate, but am I making a big deal out of his stereotyping people?
Q. I've been dating this guy that I really like for the past month and half. There are two things about him that I would change if I could. He is a bit cheap, he will tell me to pay for stuff when we go out and I don't mind doing it but I do mind him ...
A. 11 December 2007: Hi,
I think you may have a problem here as he seems to fit the profile of a people user. Personally I would have difficulty enough going dutch with a woman and splitting the bill. If he is genuinely in financial difficulties or short of cash he ... (read in full...)
I am going to have sex with a guy....I need advice on that and if there is anything I can say to make my friend feel better??
Q. Me and a guy are going to have sex in a few weeks, and i was just wondering if anyone could give me advice..? Also, my friend had sex with this guy and she did this because she thought he liked her and she thought this would bring them closer b...
A. 5 December 2007: Quite simply, put it off. You can only give away your virginity once and it should be a precious gift to someone you really feel strongly about. You are young and have plenty of time, so just enjoy being your age.
If he reacts badly when you tell... (read in full...)
I was coping but he said he would change and I got back with him...now how do I get over my grudge against him and tell my family??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and eight months. We've planned to get married, have children, own a house, and grow old together. We've been through so much together. About 2 or 3 weeks ago, I found out my boyfriend was talking to ...
A. 5 December 2007: Unfortunately your experience is all too common. It seems clear to me that he has been cheating on you with this girl. Deliberately hiding her name in his contacts and so on is not a good sign.
Yes he can change, but only if he wants to for hims... (read in full...)
How do I ask him to prom??
Q. Ok, i liked this guy for a couple of years and i am in 10th grade and he is in 9th. At our church we're havening a prom in May for 10th graders to 19 years of age, I want to ask him because he can't ask me because he is a freshmen, but i am sooooo ...
A. 5 December 2007: Before you ask him about the Prom, ask him if he likes ten pin bowling, or ice skating, or snow boarding, or some other casual activity that you like as well.
See if you can spend some time together just as friends doing stuff you both like. Th... (read in full...)
How do I find an opportunity to tell my friend how I feel??
Q. I want to ask out a friend of mine out. I want to tell her my feelings. I think she may like me, i've picked up a few signs that she comes and talks to me alot, and plays with her hair, is near me etc Anyway i never get the opportunity! How can i cr...
A. 5 December 2007: Don't be in too much of a hurry. Take some time and perhaps do it the old fashioned way and write her a letter (regular post office type). Choose good stationery, a nice envelope (not a business one), maybe include the letter in a card. The big ... (read in full...)
I am totally in love with my gf but last night I slept with another girl.
Q. Hi, I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 4 months and am absolutely in love with her. However, last night I kissed another girl and stayed the night in that girls bed but it wasn't really a one night stand, im feeling attracte...
A. 5 December 2007: It is always a bad thing when one person in a relationship betrays the other. If a relationship is over, you should end it first before getting involved in another. It is not fair to either the previous or next partners.
Not only have you not been... (read in full...)
He knows I like him but he still hasn't backed-off...what does this mean??
Q. hi, I like my flatmate at uni, but recently he found a note under my bed saying that i liked him. He basically was taken aback so i lied and said that i used to like him but not anymore because that was the only option i had. I told him that i ...
A. 5 December 2007: It sounds as though he likes you too. Why don't you come straight out and ask him?
Of course it may be that he does not think it should change your present friendship and so you should be prepared to find out that he likes you as a friend but noth... (read in full...)
He said he would wait for me but the way he is acting I am not sure he will.
Q. Just to recap: I was in a 3year relationship with a man I loved dearly and with all my heart. However, we fought a lot and he never understood the things I needed and I was always wrong which frustrated me a lot and was always unhappy. He is a gre...
A. 4 December 2007: Hi Alicia,
Wow, things sure got a bit tangled up for you for a while. I suggest that you stop for a moment to consider a few things.
Guy number 1, the factors that make up a hurtful relationship rarely change on a second try. I know because I h... (read in full...)
Is she lying to me?
Q. Hi, I met my girlfriend before 1 year and 6 months and i love her so much, in the begining we used to see each other every two weeks. during the first year i am helping her financily all the time and she used to see me when i have to give her the ...
A. 3 December 2007: Hi, As a follow on to my earlier answer. Perhaps in your next conversation with her turn the situation on its head. Ask her is there is anything bothering her about you or the situation? Is she afraid of anything? Has she been hurt before and now ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him for his jealous outbursts??
Q. Well I asked a question about my boyfriend not being jealous. Well that all of a sudden has changed and now he's really jealous. Seriously, I can't stand him anymore and like just a minute ago he called me yelling because I hugged my friend w...
A. 2 December 2007: Tell him that the way he has behaved has hurt you a lot and that you need time to deal with things. Suggest that maybe it would be best if for a week or two you both just wrote letters to each other. Not SMS texts, or emails, but good old fashioned ... (read in full...)
Will my husband be able to tell I had sex before??
Q. I am having relatonship with my boy friend from last four years. We share physical too. Now i m getting marry to another person will my husband able to judge i had sex before. Pls reply soon i m worried...
A. 2 December 2007: First, would it matter if he knew you had prior experience? Of course I recognise that in some religions of cultures this is an important question, but if the answer is that it does not matter, then do not worry. Don't mention it unless asked a ... (read in full...)
How do I recover from my heartbreak and show him I don't need him??
Q. Oh somebody please help.. About a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend of a year...(we dated for 2 years before that and broke up for a year before we dated again up until recently) He was my bestfriend, my everything. I told talked to him abou...
A. 2 December 2007: Hey there, It is hard when a meaningful relationship ends. Take heart from the fact that your feelings mean you are a normal person and that you are capable of great love and affection. I know this does not help much with how you feel now, but time... (read in full...)
Is she lying to me?
Q. Hi, I met my girlfriend before 1 year and 6 months and i love her so much, in the begining we used to see each other every two weeks. during the first year i am helping her financily all the time and she used to see me when i have to give her the ...
A. 29 November 2007: I think your suspicions have some grounds, however she could be genuine. Maybe she is also nervous about you meeting her family.
In any relationship communication is key. You should tell her you need to talk and be prepared to tell her how you ... (read in full...)
What if I get it wrong?
Q. I am a virgin and i really like this guy and i want to make the move on him but i am just scared becuase i don't know what i am doing and what if i am going to do it wrong, i would feel stupid....
A. 29 November 2007: Hi,
Congratulations on actually thinking about this. Too many people these days just let their hormones do all the talking and don't stop to think.
Now I am not one of these people that thinks you should save it all for marriage but I d... (read in full...)
| *amatjira's friends
These are mutual friends, so *amatjira has
added them and they have added *amatjira!
|
