A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello, got a quick question, theres a girl who im going to make a go with, we get on well, her 2 best mates are my 2 best mates girls, and we both like each other, so everything is set. Only thing is, im in a bit of a rut, i want to ask her out on valentines day because i have the day off college, but im not sure what? I mean its a first date so i dunno what to do, i was thinking cinema but ive always been a bit funny with doing that as a first thing because i prefer to talk and get to know the person, any suggestions? Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (5 February 2008):
As the others have said, cinema as a first date is not good. Eating out is provided it is in one of those restaurants where you can take your time and the background noise is quiet enough to have a decent conversation.On the other hand you could plan an activity of some kind. Maybe see if she likes ten pin bowling, or ice skating. Something you can do together, have some fun, still be able to talk (so no discos), and where if you feel awkward together it can still be a fun date even if nothing else works out. Just be relaxed. Treat her like a lady and the way you would like your sister to be treated by her date. Show her respect, and most of all, let her do more talking than you. You have two ears and one mouth so use them in that proportion. Ask her questions and LISTEN to the answers. Show by other questions that you did listen to what she said. This single biggest mistake that guys make when dating someone new is to not give their date an opportunity to speak. If she goes home having done a lot of talking herself and knowing that you really were listening, then she will think you are an interesting guy she wants to get to know more.Also when she asks you a question, give a thoughtful answer, not a novel as long as war and peace. Don't try and make yourself out to be a hero and you might just find that she thinks you are one anyway.All the best.
A
female
reader, mousey17 +, writes (5 February 2008):
 hi, a first date is always like a first impression maybe dinner at a resteraunt or even just getting a takeaway and going some where yours/hers maybe just to talk get to know each other abit and if none of these suggestion apply to you then maybe ask her what she would like to do but i think dinner for the first date is just right nothing to fancy but that way you can both sit down and talk maybe some where private so you dont get intterupted. Cinema is good maybe you could take her there to watch a film with her then go and grab something to eat or coffe on the way home which also gives you the opportunity to talk to her!
...............................
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (5 February 2008):
 You are so right. Cinema is possibly the worst possible first date ever since you cannot get to know each other. Normally I'd suggest meeting for a drink, or lunch since a first date should be kept fairly light.
You might not like each other, she might be a nightmare, or she might think you're a nightmare. So have your excuses ready if you need to cut it short.
However, in your case, or if you already know her you can probably skip straight to dinner. WHy not play it by ear and say lunch/dinner (whatever you're more comfortable with) and see how it goes... if you guys really hit it off you can have drinks after too.
You're certainly right about conversation too. You need to get to know each other before you go jumping in.
Best of luck and I hope it works out for you - let us know how you get on :)
...............................
|
