A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm scared to get on web cam for my long distance boyfriend. I'm 18 years old and I met my boyfriend off the internet, he lives pretty far away from me, we talk on the phone and we already plan on meeting really soon, sometime in the next month or two. I've talked to him about how shy I am and how nervous I am that he won't like me or somthing when he sees me, it's like my worst fear ever. I sent a picture, just one though, he showed me his web cam even though he was afraid I wouldn't like him, and I do like him, I love him. He wants me to go get a web cam now and show him. I'm scared cuz I think I'm fat and I'm afraid he won't like me anymore if he sees that even though he tells me over and over again that looks don't matter and he's already fallen in love with me and I know that should ease my mind but it doesn't. Any advice?
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long distance, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, irishchick88  +, writes (27 November 2008):
i was the exact same with my long distance boyfriend who i met online four years ago, the first time i went on cam for him i was really nervous that he wouldnt like me, but he had seen a few pics of me beforehand, i was a bit tipsy aswell which gave me more courage to do it... that was about 2 years ago, and now we chat online with our cams on, every single day, and its the most natural thing ever... Good luck on meeting him xx
A
female
reader, kyoki +, writes (26 November 2008):
I know how you feel. Recently I have started doing webcam videos with my boyfriend to please him. Yes, it is a scary situation, but it can be pleasing too. i know about the fear of rejection. i am obese, and was terrified to show my boyfriend my body, afraid he would be repulsed by it. however despite my concerns he came through for me, and he adores seeing me and i enjoy letting him now. All i can tell you is to follow your heart, for it will lead you down the right path everytime.
Kyoki
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): hey i know how u felt i've been spking to this guy for over 2 years and he has a webcam and keeps asking if i have one but i say no as i think i would be too nervous to have it on,i did have one but i've never used it
he says he likes me from like photos and i have seen him on cam nd he seems very genuine cos i do like him but i dont think i would be comfortable with a webcam but dunno if he is getting bored just talking to me cos i dnt answer his calls either. im kinda shy person and wouldnt like nethng to change things as they are atm. dont know wat to do
ne advice please
im worried he's getting bored of speaking to me
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Your fears were unfounded and you worried for nothing. Glad you know the truth and it set you free.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for the advice, it really helped me. I showed my bf my cam and he still loves me, i was on the phone and watching him when i showed him and i see the sincerness in his eyes and in his voice. Your right about if he dosent love me for me then i could do better and find someone else, but im glad i got over my fears and showed him.Thanks again X
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (5 February 2008):
If you are planning to meet soon , it is inevitable that he will see you .It is a matter of now you see me or see me later. You cannot run away and it is better that you do it now and see how he will react.
You should be confident and not think negatively. If he does not like you because you think you are fat, then better be now than later.
You cannot hide forever from him.
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (5 February 2008):
Hun, I doubt he's going to judge you in any way. He probably just wants to see you, get a feel for how you look when you're animated. A picture doesn't compare to really seeing how someone looks when they're inhabiting their skin and moving about. If you two already love each other, then he's probably just eager to see you. Something is just missing, you know? If he does reject you for some shallow reason, at least you'll know now what kind of person he really is, instead of later. I don't think he'll do that, though. It sounds like he can't wait a month or two to see you, which is a good sign that he's really into you!
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A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (5 February 2008):
Do not worry about the web cam, but also do not get drawn into showing more on the web cam than you want. Until you have met him in person and have had the chance to assess his sincerity up close you do not really know him. Protect yourself first.
Also do not worry about how he will regard you. Most women are more concerned about their figure than any guy would be. If it does bother him then he is not good enough for you anyway. I know that is easy to say but it is still true.
If you are not sure about the web cam then send him some more pictures. Remember it is your comfort zone and you control it, not him.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): If you do not feel comfortable using a webcam, do not feel pressured. If you do meet him, make sure to have someone with you--never go alone!
If he loves you, he will love you no matter what. If he is basing anything on looks, there is someone much better out there for you--dont waste your time on someone who is in it for looks
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