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If a guy asks for a hug does this mean he is interested in me?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 January 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

There is a man at work (different departments, we don't see each other every day) that I have been friendly with the past few months and I believe there has been a spark going on (for sure it has for me, not completely sure about his side). Yesterday he asked me for a hug which I was only too happy to give. Just a quick one, no groping. I don't want to read too much into this and get my hopes up, but if a guy asks a woman for a hug, is it reasonable to think he might be romantically inclined towards her? Or do men ask for hugs just as friendly tokens? Thank you for any feedback!

View related questions: at work, spark

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008):

You guys are amazing!

As a guy let me give you the real answer

If a guy asks you for a hug it means he

likes you. Period. Don't look for hidden

meanings or whatever. He hugged you he likes


In this day of sexual harassment lawsuits

etc if a guy has the nerve to ask you for a

hug he :

a. has definite interest

b. is hoping that you feel the same and that is

why he is asking for a hug

c. is trying to be respectful instead of just

walking up and hugging you

if u like the guy and u say you do don't mess

around with some imaginary time limit

next time u want to hug him and its an appropriate

spot like the breakroom with noone around or something

walk up to him, tell him thanx for the hug the other

day and could you have one from him

I guarrantee that will answer your question!

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (29 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntHe could be flirting with you or just being friendly.Nothing concrete here unless he is game to ask you for a date.

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A male reader, jm81690 Canada +, writes (29 January 2008):

jm81690 agony auntA hug can be either one really, it's really hard to say.

Did you get the impretion he was being flirtacious when he asked for the hug? If so, he probably was.

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A female reader, nicole5178 United States +, writes (29 January 2008):

nicole5178 agony auntIt could or it could not. Different people have different personal space limits. For example, if I hug someone, that means that I love them romantically--I don't hug friends or family (I'm part of an extreme, I guess). There are also people who hug for random accomplishments, like finishing an assignment successfully or ahead of schedule or something (I'm trying to give a workplace example....)

It really depends on the context. If it was your birthday, and he said "Happy Birthday!" and gave you a hug, that's nothing. If he said, "Ugh, I'm having the worse day ever. Could you hug me?", then he would have meant it in a friendly way. But if he was staring at you and then asked for a hug while commenting about how wonderful you are, he intended it to be romantic.

My advice would be to ask him for a hug in about a week or so and see how he reacts. Not randomly, though; wait for an opportunity. Don't rush things.

...Hope that helps you. Good luck!

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A male reader, doafreak United States +, writes (29 January 2008):

doafreak agony auntI think it could go either way but most guys don't hug as just a freindly gesture.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (29 January 2008):

Danielepew agony auntFrom here, it's hard to tell whether this hug means more than it seems to mean. Perhaps the body language or the circumstances of the hug would help me to have a better opinion.

If the hug was the natural result of your conversation, then I don't think it means more than that. But, if the hug was, say, "unnecessary", then perhaps he meant more.

I also need to mention that I find it harder to give you an opinion because I come from a culture where hugs and personal contact are far more frequent than seems to be the case in the United States. And more than that: where I live, you say hello or goodbye to the women you know with a kiss on the cheek. And it means nothing but "hello" or "goodbye". Perhaps I'm not the best person to give an opinion on this matter.

And then, there's another point. When you're attracted to someone and you can't tell the person, you tend to "read" signs in a favorable light. I know that you want to be sure of what you see, and that's the reason of your question. See if the man is doing something that is not what every person would do. If he does, chances are he is interested, too.

Hope this helps.

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A male reader, Namatjira United Kingdom +, writes (29 January 2008):

Sometimes a guy will ask for a hug from a person he is interested in. If he is a caring person then he may also offer a hug to someone he thinks is feeling down. Sometimes he might just be miserable and need a boost. So many factors can affect it.

I think that many guys are too embarrassed to ask for a hug. It just isn't manly they think.

In this world where everybody gets too hung up on their own problems, a few more hugs can help. However be careful not to read too much into it. As guys are generally really bad at interpreting body language, why not come straight out and ask him? Even if his reaction is no, you never know when he has had a chance to think about it he might realise that it should be yes, that he does have feelings.

At the very least you will be true to yourself and that is never a bad thing.

All the best

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