A
female
age
30-35,
*unbun
writes:Oh somebody please help.. About a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend of a year...(we dated for 2 years before that and broke up for a year before we dated again up until recently) He was my bestfriend, my everything. I told talked to him about everything and spend as much time as i could with him. I truly loved him and he said he loved me back. But, both of the breakups he has been the one to leave me. He always says he just doesnt want to deal with a relationship anymore. The first time we broke up he didnt date anyone the whole time we were apart but a week after this break up he started dating another girl. I know he didn't like here before we broke up cause he told me that and he is so honest. Now, a month later and im a wreck. I want to move on but dont know how. I miss him soo much. We arent talking, at all and its so hard cutting out someone who means so much to me and has always been a major if not the most important person in my life. I dont have the slightest idea where to start forgetting about him. I dont understand how he can leave me and just not care anymore. When he broke up with me he even had tears in his eyes. My heart is broken, i lost my beloved and my bestfriend. I feel so empty, like there is nothing to live for. I feel sick to my stomach whenever i see them together in school and i do all i can to keep myself from bursting in to tears...at least until i get home.I cant stop crying, i cant stop thinking about him, its driving me insane. Ive always been a confident and strong person.. but when it comes to him, as much as i try to stat strong, im not. I'm really really hurt right now and i dont know how to move on. All i can think about is getting back together with him in a year or so.. but he doesnt desereve another chance does he? Why the hell do i let him throw my heart around like its a toy! Oh man please help someone im so incredibly lost and heartbroken. I love him =( but i know i have to have self respect and not get over this.. show him that i dont need him.. but how?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Hey,
I am also going through a heartbreak right now and know very well what you are feeling. I have been through the same stages of pain, only in a shorter period of time. The guy broke up with me over the phone, only days later after saying he had loved me with all his heart.
I was writing long emails to him everyday for 7 days, hoping he will change his mind. Only to get a short reply back saying 'he does not know what he feels'. This is your clue. Don't waste your big heart on this guy, you will do better. Take your time, do things you once enjoyed doing, go out with friends, have rebound sex. Whatever it takes!
Think that if he has treated you like this once, he will do it again and cause you much more pain the longer you stay together. Don't constantly tell yourself you love this guy. Take counselling. Write down a list of his positives, matched by negatives, and in a short while you'll be surprised how blind you were and what at were you doing with this looser!!!
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (2 December 2007):
 The first step is to accept things the way they are. He has chosen to once again break up with you. As for another chance, I wouldn't give him one. If you go on thinking that you will get back together in a year, you aren't allowing yourself to heal.
The best revenge is living well. So have yourself one good last cry and then slap a smile on your face, lean on your friends. See a comedy. Put the things that remind you of him in a box and put it out of site. (You can deal with it later). When you start thinking about him be greatful that you had this wonderful relationship with him and know that you will have it again with someone new and exciting. Get involved in activities you love. Volunteer, help someone who needs you. All of these things will help boost your self esteem and pretty soon that smile you "slapped on" will be there on it's own.
Take care, one day at a time.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 This must be a very tough situation you are going through. HE has made you feel so hurt by picking up another girl to cover his true feelings. He is with her to get over you easier and quicker. Im not going to sit here and lie to you saying that its going to be easy because i know for a fact its not. It going to take some time, trust me. Just simply smile and keep your head up high when you see them together. Show him your strong and he lost something very good. In a matter of time you'll be able to see other people and see what goes from there. Just remember sweetie, your a good person and you dont deserve to suffer and be treated like a toy. Respect yourself and you'll see everyone will do the same. Keep your head up high and hope for the best.
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A
female
reader, josien  +, writes (2 December 2007):
somes times it is hard to letgo the ones you love but if it is for the better trust what your heart is telling you. if it is telling you to hold back on to him listen to your heart.
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A
female
reader, D-i-n-a-100 +, writes (2 December 2007):
I know how you feel.
And there are no words you can read or hear that will make the pain go away.
BUT you have to is a good thing you aren't talking believe me!
Now think of it as getting a new life.
Get rid of everything that makes you think about him, get more close to ur family and friends enjoy yourself now.
Go to public places (that will force you to stop the crying).
Find new friend and just be happy again.
I bet he did loved you so there is no need for you to show him that you need him or don't.
Just show yourself that you are capable of keeping your life on track.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, auvi  +, writes (2 December 2007):
first of all, be assured that his new approach to a new love didnt start in one week. he must have been distant for you for a while and wanting to get someone new too. so , it is you who is in surprise.
now you have to realize that above all your own life is the most important thing. And it is a terrible thing to waste over a man who goes for another girl just after a week of your break up. maybe is isnt what you thought he were. so accept the truth. and i know it would hurt you for a while, but not forever. sooner or later you will recover. now how fast is that, depends on yourself. try to forget him... take a vacation or engage in hard working activities... that will help.
also listen to heart-break-themed songs, they sometimes help.
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A
male
reader, steve107  +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Take sometime to let it set in so you can come to terms with your break-up. Hang around with friends and have fun do anything to take your mind off the guy then you will start to see that life aint over. Then when you feel you are ready find another bf make a point of making out with him front of your ex and he will soon see what he is missing. The guy is a a**h*** for throwing away what you guys had it is so hard to find someone who you have that kinda connection with and too throw it away like that. he is an ideot. Who knows if he sees you with someone else he may find that he wants you back. If that does happen you will need to deside if he is worth another chance.
cheer up bbe !!!
good luck what ever happens
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (2 December 2007):
Hey there,It is hard when a meaningful relationship ends. Take heart from the fact that your feelings mean you are a normal person and that you are capable of great love and affection. I know this does not help much with how you feel now, but time does have a way of helping the pain to fade.I am a poet and actually wrote a poem for a friend of mine after she broke up with her BF of several years. Maybe it will help you, maybe not. But here it is:Ending Grief------------How should you feel at relationships end?What value the time you spent together?Sunny days and carefree nights all at oncePresent times past and now gone, mourn the timeTry to remember all that was betterTo recall holidays and humour bothBut still not forget why it's now overDo not mind the grief, it's only naturalAll life is full of stages in sequenceEach has its place, we can gain from lessonsWith care gain closure then open new doorMoving from past to future on life's wheelSo take in the grief mix in the happyAll is part and parcel of any lifeLike pain grief is the start of your healingWhat's done is done grieving helps to move on© 2007 Copyright ReservedAll I can say is that you do need to find a friend that you can confide in. Do not limit yourself to people your own age. You may have a grandma that would love to just be there for you and who no doubt has seen much of life and could help you to understand.What I do think is clear is that this time it really is over. Don't go looking for a replacement guy yet. You still have your own mixed up feelings to come to terms with and you do not want this experience to be negative on a future guy. You should try and find something to occupy your mind. Something that you like and that requires you to concentrate, even if only a little at first. Learn a language maybe. Anyway kid, you are not alone. Just remember that it is not about showing him you don't need him but showing yourself that you are strong and independent, that you can have a good life without him.Don't give up. Think of Tina Turner and I Will Survive.
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