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... Send *ystify a private message | | | *ystify's profile:i live in the uk , yep bad enough...but i seem to of had far too much misfortune than would be considered my fair share,well , "what dont kill you only makes you stronger" , and i want to share the strengh's i found. i will only ever advise from some sort of experience so will always be fronm the heart, i am married but my husband dosent like this site much, feels it is quite negative sometimes, i feel we need to look after our mental health, i have learnt alot through pschycology and being a mental health nusre, then training in law, i want to share with others.
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Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 16 February 2006: i try to never say this as i find it so hard myself but maybe he is just not the one for you, it shouldnt be this hard! the trust is well and truley gone , i think the only thing i could say is to set some boundaries in your relationship with him ... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 4 January 2006: why would he say in his emails that he thinks she is hot if he didnt even like her.
you have been together 2 years and in a loving trusting relationship it shouldnt be a problem to read each others emails if there is nothing to hide especially if y... (read in full...)
He can change from being loving to angry...
Q. The other day, I was going through a difficult time and I turned to my partner. He was so good; loving, reassuring and I thought; he certainly is the man for me. Yesterday, due to other stresses, we had a bit of a row in a shop over somethin...
A. 3 January 2006: i was in a relationship like this, he literally seemed to be 2 differant people Jekyll and Hyde and the put downs too, i got very weak but it stopped when i noticed the put downs and anger were just getting so ridiculous i knew it couldnt be me, so ... (read in full...)
He can change from being loving to angry...
Q. The other day, I was going through a difficult time and I turned to my partner. He was so good; loving, reassuring and I thought; he certainly is the man for me. Yesterday, due to other stresses, we had a bit of a row in a shop over somethin...
A. 3 January 2006: i was in a relationship like this, he literally seemed to be 2 differant people Jekyll and Hyde and the put downs too, i got very weak but it stopped when i noticed the put downs and anger were just getting so ridiculous i knew it couldnt be me, so ... (read in full...)
Dating an 18-year girl old as a 26-year old guy... What am I letting myself in for?
Q. I am attracted to an 18 year old girl (and she is attracted back) but I feel I shouldn't be as I am 26. Surely people of these ages are in a different place in their lives and it wouldn't work. Despite all of that I am probably going to unable ...
A. 3 January 2006: hi i am a 26 year old woman married to a guy who turned 19 just recently , we have our problems but none of them are age related, in fact i am the one in the relationship that loves to party while he is happy for once in a while and everyone thinks ... (read in full...)
My husband admitted that he's been seeing prostitutes, and I'm devastated!
Q. After 15 years together, I now find my husband has been using prostitutes/call girls on a regular basis. He tells me he still loves me,and is committed to me, and his two children. What he has with these women is "his private life" and does not ...
A. 3 January 2006: angel underneath, what you do and what the women that the husband of cornwall chooses to see do is one thing , but you can not say that these men love their wives dearly , do you know what love is? love is when you care about someone as much or more ... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 3 January 2006: i think having this kind of a relationship with another woman is cheating even without sex, do you feel threatened, if so then dont put up with it... (read in full...)
I really like her but how do I convince her not to worry about the age gap?
Q. ok so im an 18 year old male and I really really like an older girl. In fact shes 23.....I can't seem to think that there is this chemistry between us but this age thing seems a "taboo" to her. WE get along great we are the best of friends and I ...
A. 3 January 2006: hi ,
i am a girl of 26 married to a guy of 19, and yeah it totallly freaks me out! not so much for now in fact when it comes down to it im the one that gets id'd when out and everyone tginks hes older but what worries me is that when i turn 40 he w... (read in full...)
Little things make my husband snap and become verbally abusive!
Q. My husband has an anger management problem -- over the smallest thing he flares up and becomes verbally abusive, never accepting what he has done wrong. I can't handle it anymore -- what do I do?...
A. 3 January 2006: when he is calm and being loving , asuming he is sometimes , pick a good moment and tell him you love him but you cant understand why he does this and that all you want is to both be happy, wjat im trying to say is pick a good time and delicatly ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to get married and we love each other a lot, but I can't help dwelling on my past mistakes!
Q. Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and we went out and bought an engagement ring recently which we are both thrilled about. My problem is, I am disgusted at my past- who I have slept with, mistakes I have made, and subsequently...
A. 3 January 2006: when i met my husband i really felt the same, i wished even that id waited for him so i could say he was truley the only one but if i hadnt done the things id done i wouldnt be the person i am today.
all the goood things and bad things in you past... (read in full...)
Will my girlfriend want to go further in our relationship?
Q. Hi! I'm 17 and have been with my girlfriend a month now. I've never been happier. But there is one issue that I find hard to overcome. My girlfriend was told by other people at the start of our relationship how far I had been with other girls, ...
A. 3 January 2006: a month really is not that long, especially for someone who lacks comfidence and experience, i can understand truley why this may cause you distress, but you will both enjoy it more when you are both ready... (read in full...)
Been married a few months and I am getting divorced!
Q. Iam currently in the process of divorcing my wife. She is a great woman, but I am truely in love with someone else. The woman that has captured my heart we fight and argue a lot lately and now we are not speaking at all. I am still going to leave my ...
A. 3 January 2006: yes , this has to be the end of your marriage for her sake more than yours, it simply wouldnt be fair to her to spend the rest of her whole life with someone her didnt love her with his whole heart let alone loving someone else more.
you are doin... (read in full...)
What on earth should I do about these obsessed girls?
Q. hey.. i am a 15 year old guy.. i have little self confidence or should i say little confidence infront of girls.. i wont say i am good looking. i have a question.. nearly every week, i hear from my friends about a new girl liking me.. i tend to h...
A. 3 January 2006: i dont think you should loose sleep over any of this , if they are lying they are just jealous , that is theyre problem , if they are telling the truth, and you are well liked by these girls then there is nothing wrong with girls liking you , most ... (read in full...)
Can a woman abuse a kid?
Q. I need some advice on something I'm a bit confused about. It might sound a bit silly but here goes . . . When I was 6 years old, a woman did sexual stuff to me. Is this sexual abuse or does it have to be done to you by a man? Thanks xxx...
A. 3 January 2006: i just want to confirm what has already been said anyone male or female can abuse and i hope that she has been dealt with by the law and no one else suffers at her hands.
and if you are finding this difficult to live with id seek help from your doct... (read in full...)
His ex wife has offered to have sex with him!
Q. The man I am dating and plan to marry told me right after we met, that he would occasionally take his kids and exwife to dinner so as to let them know that both parents love them and that they can get along. I thought it was commendable that he kept ...
A. 3 January 2006: dont trust her... she dosent like anyone else with her ex and offering to have sex with him was just so wrong, their dosent have to be a lack of trust in your fiance to not want him to go out with another woman who offers him sex and is clearly very ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about my secret kiss?
Q. I have a boyfriend, but I recently kissed another guy at a party and feel terrible about it and really regret it. My boyfriend dosent know and I dont want him to find out, but I feel incredibly guilty. If I tell him there is no doubt that he will ...
A. 2 January 2006: do you think he would be happier for you telling him?
some people just would prefer to carry on having never found out on the other hand it is his right to choose whether to be with you,knowing all the facts.
if you really regret it maybe he will ... (read in full...)
Do I need help? I like to put things up my a**...
Q. Hi. I have a bit of a wierd problem but I feel it's time to get over it. I masterbated alot as a teenager as most guys do, but recently I have been turned on by putting things in and near my a**hole. I mean i've always been interested in woman so ...
A. 2 January 2006: this is where the mens g spot is supposed to be ,there are many out there that do it and i would suggest to you there there is places where you can buy objects especially designed for this kind of penetration and im not sure but i think there is ... (read in full...)
Her ex-husband buys her expensive gifts still...
Q. I've been dating someone who is divorced with two children (Age 6 and 9). We argue during the holidays (or gift giving time ex. birthdays, mother's day) because she see's nothing wrong with receiving a gift from "her children" but bought by her ...
A. 2 January 2006: i dont think this is quite right, does she have parents that could take the children out to buy presents for her, when i had my first child his father was not involved with me but my family always made sure i got a mothers day card etc...
s... (read in full...)
Only said "yes" to stop him feeling bad... Now how do I dump him nicely?
Q. A boy likes me but i only like him as a friend but he has asked me out and I said yes just to get him off my back. Now were going out and im not very gappy how can i dump him and not do it horrible?...
A. 2 January 2006: well, tell him to his face when you are both alone as soon as possible sounds like youre a thoughtfull enough person to put the right words together,but be clear as people can choose to only hear the parts they wanna hear sometimes... (read in full...)
Phone sex?
Q. What really is PHONE SEX?...
A. 2 January 2006: hi , when 2 or more people say dirty things down the phone to each other usually while masterbating until they come... (read in full...)
Walked in on my husband with the Page Three girl and I need reassurance that all men do this...
Q. I know all men masturbate and have had numerous conversations with my Partner about this, he always said he never did it if I was in the house. Recently I was still quite sleepy so he got up to have a shower. I decided to get up shortly after and ...
A. 2 January 2006: not all men masterbate when in a relationship, and most definatly not all men that do do it with page 3 in front of them,
ill never forget the time i was with a guy who wanted sex when i was too tired i woke up to see the poor stain covered pics... (read in full...)
Every time my boyfriend checks out women with big boobs, my heart sinks
Q. I am a small busted woman. I have always wanted bigger ones. My BF's exwife is petite w/ Big Boobs. His 15 yr old daughter has big boobs. When we have sex, foreplay to him is sucking my boobs and he gets aroused by that. That is what turns him on ...
A. 2 January 2006: hi
i am considering an enlargement for my recently shrunken boobs but not because they are small, when they were big i always wanted them to be smaller i loved the idea of going without a bra , far seier than a huge cleavage, and wearing deli... (read in full...)
Am I just being possessive, or do other girls do what mine does?
Q. I just want to know, is it common for girls to be out with their boyfriends and look at other guys and think they are hot, then when confronted about it deny that they were looking? Am I being possessive or does everyone do it?...
A. 2 January 2006: i went out with a guy when i was younger who would see this in me no matter what i looked at , he was always wrong i had eyes for no other i denyed it to him but he never believed me!,
but i can only speak for myself, i am currently expe... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend ignore my request that he not go with his friends to a strip club?
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old and a freshman in college. I am living at home this summer and my boyfriend is also living at his home. He informed me the other day that he and a bunch of pals (some I personally deem as immature) are going to take a trip to ...
A. 2 January 2006: wow! you poor girl, you really did get one hammering from these guys!
the way i see it, if you are in a relationship that is worth anything , then you have a right to ask your fella not to somthing that will hurt you!
afterall a relation... (read in full...)
My husband lied about ogling other women and now I wonder: is he lying about other important issues?
Q. When I met my husband I was honest and told him I couldn't handle a relationship with a guy who ogles other women. It wasn't until I was pregnant that he admitted he had lied and had been doing it A LOT! But then he told me he had changed. I forgav...
A. 2 January 2006: and lets compare it to if there was a couple and the girl did it no one would bat an eyelid if the guy got upset/ angry and told a girl to stop it!
SO why when a girl feels the same do people just ridicule & brush her feelings aside and say its a ma... (read in full...)
She fancies sexy guys on TV... But shows absolutely zero interest in sex with me!
Q. why does me girlfriend seem to show little or no interest physically? hi, i'm 18 and been with my girfriend for just 1 year and 3 months. we've never had sex but have came close but i had to stop as she said it had hurt when i had penetrated he...
A. 2 January 2006: hmmm , mabe shes not ready yet and is hiding behind the things she says!, on the other hand maybe the idea of foreplay dosent appeal to her cos she hasnt found out what she likes yet...
i always like my man to take me by surprise maybe a gentle hug ... (read in full...)
My husband lied about ogling other women and now I wonder: is he lying about other important issues?
Q. When I met my husband I was honest and told him I couldn't handle a relationship with a guy who ogles other women. It wasn't until I was pregnant that he admitted he had lied and had been doing it A LOT! But then he told me he had changed. I forgav...
A. 2 January 2006: star news , thankyou for your reply , but i dont think being single is the only way to be with a man that dosent do it...
like i already said i have been with a couple of guys that didnt do it, one because he didnt want me to do it so it was kind... (read in full...)
My husband lied about ogling other women and now I wonder: is he lying about other important issues?
Q. When I met my husband I was honest and told him I couldn't handle a relationship with a guy who ogles other women. It wasn't until I was pregnant that he admitted he had lied and had been doing it A LOT! But then he told me he had changed. I forgav...
A. 2 January 2006: star news , thankyou for your reply , but i dont think being single is the only way to be with a man that dosent do it...
like i already said i have been with a couple of guys that didnt do it, one because he didnt want me to do it so it was kind... (read in full...)
The guy I fancy already has a g/f but she's long-distance
Q. He's wonderful. I don't think that I could have asked for a better friend. We met this past June through a mutual friend and we've seen each other almost everyday since then. Naturally I began to see him as more than a friend but I put that out ...
A. 31 December 2005: if hes interested in you then he need to be clear to his girlfriend that things are over between them first, and you need to be clear that you wont get involved untill thats happened because if it dosent then he could easily let things carry on with ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my friend's success with guys. I'm much prettier than she is, so I've slept with 4 of her boyfriends!
Q. I was at a club with my best friend (Alice), we where having loads of fun. This guy came up to us and had a dance with Alice. They traded numbers. Although I danced with loads of boys I felt jealous. I feel like this a lot. Anyway about two week...
A. 31 December 2005: yes you are being a bad friend, your problem is you are not happy with your share of attention you want ALL the attention! whether or not your are prettier than your friend is in the eye of the beholder and if a guy chats up her instead of you you ... (read in full...)
She fancies sexy guys on TV... But shows absolutely zero interest in sex with me!
Q. why does me girlfriend seem to show little or no interest physically? hi, i'm 18 and been with my girfriend for just 1 year and 3 months. we've never had sex but have came close but i had to stop as she said it had hurt when i had penetrated he...
A. 31 December 2005: this girl is not respecting you if she is comparing you to other men! but maybe she is sexually immature, when i was younger sex was always about what the guy wanted , liked, i thought it was all about pleasing them , because of the way i saw sex ... (read in full...)
My wife hates the idea of my close female friend. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help me solve a problem with my wife. I have a married female coworker who I have become friends with. We talk on the phone daily as we are not always assigned to the same location. She sends emails and pictures to me a...
A. 31 December 2005: hi, i think that the only issue here is that your WIFE is clearly upset by this friendship, you should not be worried about losing this female friend you should be worried about losing your wife and you should not be worried about what this wom... (read in full...)
I have a month to get over my ex, before I have to see him with his new girlfriend!
Q. I need some tips on to get over an ex fast! I'm still madly in love with the guy I was with at uni. I haven't even seen him for about 6 months but have loved him and only him for almost 3 years and part of me still hopes that later on in life (wh...
A. 31 December 2005: i got over my ex by dressing up going out and having fun with my girl mates and realising how much fun it was to be single again... (read in full...)
I kissed a girl and now my boyfriend wants a threesome!
Q. My partner of 3 years has been living in america for work over the past 18 months. I've seen him 3 times in that time and we talk everyday. At a party me and my best friend (girl) were very drunk and kiss and fooled around when we realised what was ...
A. 31 December 2005: he is blackmailing you , using your guilt to get another girl into your bed, if he has forgiven you , he has to move on and cant hold it against you, if he asks again say one of these replys ...
1) no but to make things fair you can fool around with... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is almost perfect, except for hairy nipples...
Q. I have started dating a lovely girl. Perfect in almost every way except, she has quite hairy nipples. It's fine to say I should just ignore this little problem. However, how do I suggest that she might want to get rid of the hairs, without seeming ...
A. 31 December 2005: dont suggest to her to remove the hair from her nipples , im sure she would be mortified, not to mention the fact that its normal! it would be like a chick laughing at you when you pulled down your pants!!!! please DONT! if you dont like it ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my girlfriend's sexual history. Should I look at the hidden computer files?
Q. I have had problems with my girlfriend's sexual past before and sometimes I think I am getting over it. However, last night I was using her computer and I noticed that there were some hidden files that I could not access. Judging from the file names ...
A. 31 December 2005: Is this relationship serious? if so then why does she have files about past sex? if you are only dating and not serious yet then if it is consuming you confront her about it be open , dont snoop...you might get it wrong and you might upset her, if ... (read in full...)
He seems perfect and our ages aren't an issue to us. Should they be?
Q. I am 15 and my boyfriend is 21. We started going out and we really didn't ask the whole age question. We got really close and that's when I asked him how old he was. We had sex but I told him I would rather wait because it is safer. He respects that ...
A. 31 December 2005: hi , my guy is 8 years younger than me so to i feel strongly in favour of age gap relationships although if any of my guy friends in their 20's were invovled with someone under the age of consent i would loose some respect for them, but it sounds ... (read in full...)
My husband lied about ogling other women and now I wonder: is he lying about other important issues?
Q. When I met my husband I was honest and told him I couldn't handle a relationship with a guy who ogles other women. It wasn't until I was pregnant that he admitted he had lied and had been doing it A LOT! But then he told me he had changed. I forgav...
A. 31 December 2005: wow! anoymous! i always believed that the instintive stuff was an excuse infact my ex said as much and personnally felt disgusted at this branding he said it makes men out to be merely animals!
women also have lusts and sexual desires and beli... (read in full...)
My husband lied about ogling other women and now I wonder: is he lying about other important issues?
Q. When I met my husband I was honest and told him I couldn't handle a relationship with a guy who ogles other women. It wasn't until I was pregnant that he admitted he had lied and had been doing it A LOT! But then he told me he had changed. I forgav...
A. 31 December 2005: ok you first two guys didnt really add a response to my question, anon you missed that this isnt my only problem, a big issue is that he lies, but you say i dont have a problem well i consider my husband causing me to be upset a big problem,like you ... (read in full...)
Guys: is it better for a woman to look like a porn star?
Q. Question for guys Do men find the bodies of women in porn superior to those of their girlfriend/wife? I'm not talking about the feelings or warmth etc, just the way we look. Honest answers please...
A. 31 December 2005: i agree with lorel , the media says what harsh but fair has described is the best body but more to the point i think that this is simply HIS personnal opinion, which is fair enough but he shouldnt speak on behalf of all mankind! my husband certainly ... (read in full...)
He does look at porn, and he lies to me about it. Should this be the end of things?
Q. Been with my bf for over 3 years. Anyways I feel really insecure in the relationship. He looks at porn and always perves at other women when we are out in the public. I have told him about how this makes me feel yet he still does it. I was just won...
A. 31 December 2005: hi ,
firstly i d like to say too i wish my fella was more like ed! i too have a guy who seems to leer at girls in public and it really upsets me but his only answer is to just completely deny it, my trouble is i carry on with him too scared to dump... (read in full...)
She's so insecure and paranoid...it drives me crazy! Any advice?
Q. Hiya i have been going out with my girlfriend now for nearly 5 months. I really do love her but her insecurity and paranoia drives me crazy and it has triggered arguments between us. It is frustrating to go out with someone like this as i feel that ...
A. 31 December 2005: hi ,
i have a relationship like this with my fella, (me being like your girlfriend) , in our relationship i am like this because of a trust issue, i have found him lying to me about things alot, and wont fess up unless i have it written in blac... (read in full...)
He never stops ogling other women!
Q. My husband is constantly looking at other women. He has been totally faithful to me but his incessant ogling is really upsetting. He does it in the car, grocery store, everytwhere we go. Is there anything to be done about this?...
A. 31 December 2005: if it is really upsetting as you say nothing will change unless you confront him about it. most men can ignore hints. ... (read in full...)
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