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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a small busted woman. I have always wanted bigger ones. My BF's exwife is petite w/ Big Boobs. His 15 yr old daughter has big boobs. When we have sex, foreplay to him is sucking my boobs and he gets aroused by that. That is what turns him on (boobs). I notice any woman with big boobs, he ogles! Even his brothers wife. I feel very insecure about my boobs. I feel like if I had bigger ones then I wouldn't have such low self esteem. I am 40 yrs old, no spring chicken and I have always felt insecure about this. I have thought VERY seriously about implants, but I am healthy and scared of Dr's and Surgery and afraid of problems after ... Everytime my BF checks out another woman w/ big boobs, my heart sinks. I think he is wishing that he had someone with big ones. People have told me that he loves me and that doesn't matter to him or he wouldn't be with me. But I know he wishes I had big ones ! Should I take the chance on surgery if it would help my self esteem?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): I've been with men who say that a handful is enough, but my current boyfriend is attracted to women with bigger boobs than I have. It hurts knowing that his ideal of beauty is something that I can never achieve naturally, that to really turn him on, I would need to do drastic things to change my body.
So what do I do about these feelings? One thing I can do is realize that he doesn't fit my ideal of beauty in a man either. He has scrawny legs, a skinny chest, a big crooked nose, hair growing out of his ears, dandruff, and really dry peeling skin on his upper lip. The problem here is that the difference between my boyfriend and me is that I honestly couldn't care less about these things. I love him for the person he is on the inside. There is an imbalance here. I can still find him attractive and sexy regardless of the above physical attributes. I, on the other hand, constantly have to worry about him losing interest in me because I have cellulite or because my boobs aren't big enough (34B) or whatever. He farts around me all the time, but he makes me feel ashamed of myself whenever I pass gas. It's difficult being in love with someone where this double standard is in effect.
I guess my advice is - treat him the same way he treats you. Hold him to the same (impossible) standards. Or find someone else who will treat you the way you want to be treated. That may mean becoming a lesbian.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): I know where you are comming from my boyfriend ex girlfriend had huge boobs! When I got with my boyfriend i was fine at first but then i got to notice that he was staring at other girls boobs. I told him how it made me feel and we also got into big fights. That still didn't seems to matter so I went in got surgery @ cummings in kinston (he's great). Do you think that stoped him? No, he still stares, after i went in spent all that money. My advice to you is I would not go in spend that kind of money just to see if he will stop. Most likly, he wont. Do it for yourself
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Did you try telling him how you feel? I had the same situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): his with you for what u are and who you are, his being a typical bloke when his jaw hits the ground at other womens breasts. Acting botherd by this is probally the thing affeting your self esteem not how you look.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): I understand your pain in a very personal way. I have been through the same thought processes and embarked on serious introspection for the past 15 years- since I was your age. There are many beautiful changes available to you in this moment- from inside you.
Bless the man you are with for allowing you the Opportunity to learn to really love yourself exactly As you ARE. Enjoy each moment he's appreciating you and your boobs FULLY. Be fully present to his Love. Love him As he is. He's wired up to Really love Big Boobs, and all boobs, and YOUR boobs. Accept this fact about him- he's been that way all his sexual life, since before you came along. He's been married to his 'perfect body'- but found big boobs weren't ENOUGH. This doesn't change his love of big ones, but it shows that it no longer affects his choices in a life partner. He's learned Most of Life isn't about looks or sex- it's about companionship, Love, Joy, and understanding. He loves you, for YOU.
Being attracted to female beauty is NORMAL Male Behavior, to every man on the planet. One doesn't become blind and chained just because they're in Love with someone. To LOOK, interact and be attracted to others doesn't conflict with love, loyalty and devotion toward your mate.
Accepting and rejoicing in this fact is a key to your own personal freedom. Becoming free from fear.
You CAN change your attitude and flow with what your life is offering now.
To constantly oppose it is like swimming upstream. Here are some techniques that I have found helpful.
*Imagine the most wonderful mother in the world cradling you in her arms, holding you and giving you all her love, and telling you that everything about you is beautiful, perfect. You are completely loved.
*Think of a woman you admire for her self confidence in her own beauty and feminine power- it can be someone with a body similar to yours or whatever you feel is 'perfect'- and 'try on' that Feeling- Act it out and Be that way. Do this as often as you can. Act as if you KNOW you are incredibly sexy and beautiful. You ARE beautiful! It's all available to you, and it's in your Mind.
*When you can, go into a genuine place of loving your own body, LOVE your breasts- play with them, thank them for being there for you, just as they are. Be grateful that they're healthy, sensitive, and perfect. Appreciate that your life is a gift. And if you believe in a Creator- that you were created just the way he intended, to his perfection.
* Practice moving into Love and appreciation of your guy as he is, whenever possible- if you can, even when he's staring at other women. Flood yourself with as much love to you as that perfect mother would, and feel very secure in that... then from that place, love and appreciate whoever he's looking at.
And if you're in pain, love yourself for feeling that too.
* The body is just our container for this life- on this planet- at this time. It is not who we are.
It's gratifying to get attention from others, but if you always seek security from how others perceive you, you're missing out on the incredible feeling of self empowerment. "I love myself no matter what others think. And if they love me too, that's great, they should... because I'm completely lovable."
It's all a journey- and All the difficult human emotions are healed by Love. Opening up to More Love, of self and others, will give you the Freedom you're looking for.
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male
reader, cojack51  +, writes (15 June 2008):
I absolutely love women with small brests. I think they are absolute the most natural and pleasing. Call ME MAD or what your will, but leave em alone and if your boyfriend doenst appreciate them I will
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): I've struggled with this one too. I love my boyfriend and really want to please him in bed, I think that's a good thing.. i.e the men I couldn't be bothered to please in bed.. let's face it I just wasn't in love with them anyway. And he wants to please me so we're equal in that respect. It's just the breast thing. He loves'em, and he loves'em big and mine are pretty modest, to say the least. I find myself surfing the net scouring for cures for small breasts. What make's it worse is that I love big boobs too! He fancies the women I wish I was. The surgery thing is just so difficult because you'll both know that they're fake, so will he like them as much and they don't look/move/feel like the real thing anyway. My friend who is equaly challenged in the chest department but is blessed with oodles of naturally high self esteem and common sense says 'breast men' are just grafeful to see any boobs.. your boobs are better than no boobs.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): yes i think your dead right if you feel that low about it i getin my own done in 6 months my doctor recomended some1 to me and i feel i have never wanted somthing so much...
when your flat chested all you do is look at other womens breasts with envy so do it for yourself ....imagine...putin a bikni on without thinkin eww i dont look nice and not havin to wear chicken fillets going out with no bra your boyfreind will nt let you out lol
good luck xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): My boyfriend checks out other women who have big breast too, although I have big breasts. He says he is a "breast guy" I think your guy is also. I think that even if you were to get plastic surgery he would still check out other women. Don't change your body for someone else...
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): My boyfriend also prefers big boobs. What makes this worse is the fact I used to have big boobs and now they have shrunk. Boobs are mainly fat. I have never been fat but when my boobs were larger, I wished that my love handles were smaller. Theres always something that you wish was better.
My boyfriend obviously likes big breasted women and yes, to me that also seem more womanly. Sometimes I dont feel like a real woman with my small boobs. So whats better than a "real woman"? Well evidently humans are floored, otherwise we wouldnt be having this debate. So IMO I would rather look like a pixie or an elf, or a faerie.
Have you ever seen a ballet dancer with big boobs? They are so graceful and beautiful that big boobs would make them look stupid!
If I love myself in this way as a graceful, pretty creature (who smiles, not envies), my boyfriend will end up more concerned about his own small penis, worrying whether he is good enough for me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): plz go for implants. I had mine done barely a week back and Iam already feeling great. good luck. god bless
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): I have large breasts, 32DD to be exact. They are perky, bouncy, and they please my husband. Men and women stare at them and they always become the topic of conversation around my (incredibly horny) friends. All of this is just superficial pleasure and unfulfilling attention. Sure, I'm envied by every girl I see, but it's what inside that really counts (you have to be warm and slippery). :) HTH GL
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): oo darling dot be silly
i have big boobs & every one just likes me for THEM
not myself
He loves you for YOU ...
& i feel smaller boobs are much more pretty & ellegant
dont consider changing your body for some one over than you!
Boobs are nothing,
When you get older they all turn south anyway
Lv Ya :)
Abby xx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): No I wouldnt have surgery if I were you as even if you have bigger boobs your boyfriend will still look at other women and then you will just think about something else that he might not like about you and change something else. Doing this will then make you into what he wants you to be and not what you were when you met him and the reason why he fell for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2006): yes u should
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): No, not worth the cost or the risk. we all look at things we do not have, but that is not to say we do not like what we do have. If boobies was all that mattered he never would of talked, dated and fell in love with you. I like looking a boobs, my wife is a 34 B that thinks she is a C. that is enough for me. You said yourself he gets turned on playing with you, that should be your answer.
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reader, mystify +, writes (2 January 2006):
 hi
i am considering an enlargement for my recently shrunken boobs but not because they are small, when they were big i always wanted them to be smaller i loved the idea of going without a bra , far seier than a huge cleavage, and wearing delicate strapless things, i went from a D cup to an E cup then down to B which is where they seem to be staying , finnally what i always wanted! NO! ....i still have enough skin to accomodate at least a C probably D cup! not good! my husband loves them whatever they are and is in two minds about an enlargement because he worries they will loose softness, so if you got great boobs then id say leave them alone...i mean come on look at Jordan yeuck!
save the boob job for repairing the cruelty of time.
unless you really are doing for yourself and its what you really want inside .
just take into consideration these thing and the fact that you bloke might only be looking at the bigger busted woman he sees cos they are more in ya face it dosent mean he would prefer them , i caught my fella looking at my boobs more when they were bigger but they were right there in his face , he actually told me that he prefered them smaller (less frumpy)
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reader, Delila +, writes (18 September 2005):
Eyes on boobs
Heart in boots
Hand in hand
Together
Eyes for you
Heart swells
Love you
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 September 2005):
 I believe that after reading all the posts here, you should start to realise that everyone is trying to say he should love you for who you are, regardless of whether you have big or small boobs. Would you ogle at other men if he had a small willy? Its not fair that he does this to you. Reality check!!...You're not perfect and will never be but so is your boyfriend and everyone else in this world!! I strongly advice against going under the knife to change the size of your boobs. Its just not worth the risk and money invloved!!! The guy you're with should be happy with how you look, but it can never happen if you dont first start to be happy with yourself!! Hope this helps.
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reader, rockmanco2 +, writes (16 September 2005):
I may be young but i have to take the liberty of telling you that when it comes to men theres only one thing they care about.... if you have them ( there exceptions to the rule). Most men dont care about size, i kno some men that prefer smaller breast, and there are some who prefer bigger yes. But those are not the kind of men who invest in comitted relationships.
So what if his ex-wife has large breast, in the end she's still his ex... He wants you, and if he wants a women with bigger breast leave so he can find one. You should'nt change for some pig headed man who openly stares at women in public. Trust there are plenty of men out there who find you atractive.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2005): Cosmetic surgery is a significant investment in time, effort, and emotion...not to mention likely very painful. (ouch!) It probably will not change your husband's view of you because it really sounds like-he loves you as is, hun. Take a minute to assess why you really want cosmetic surgery, and whether you have realistic expectations? Do you think your husband will love you more? Personally, I think this a way to make up for deeper issues that are bothering you such as insecurities. Why are you doing this to yourself? This is very stressful and damaging emotionally to YOU. Like one reader pointed out: His ex-wife had big boobs but-SHE is his ex-wife! That tells me...big boobs don't matter "that" much to him. Beauty & sexiness comes from a woman's wit, intellect, self-confidence, positivity and the ability to laugh, smile and have fun. I have had more men tell me a woman's smile and her intellect is more attractive than anything else, plus they gain his respect for having brains and a wonderful, savvy sense of humor..
Dear, even though he looks at women's boobs, he loves and accepts your body because of the heart, mind and soul of the beautiful woman inside that body. His attraction for you is based on both his & your love for each other, not appearances.
You can talk to him and calmly let him know that his "boob" watching, bothers you and he needs to be more discreet-out of respect for you-he needs to curb it when you are with him. His attentions should be on you, his wife..you have a right to express your feelings and thoughts about this issue to him. So take care, dear-try hard not to allow this to get to you and remember: Embrace your body, boobs and all and be true to yourself.
Hugs,
Irish
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (15 September 2005):
 Problems like this with ourselves cannot be solved by changes our bodies physically, our mental attitude and perception of ourselves must change. I'm sure having the implants would make you feel good for a while but, like any superficial change we make, it won't change the way we feel about ourselves in the long run.
You need to make changes to your whole life, the way you see yourself and most of all, your self esteem. Men are always going to look at other women, as there's always going to be more attractive people than us, whatever we do to ourselves. You seem worried about going ahead with the surgey and this shows you're doing it for the wrong reasons and to forget about it. No one is worth going through all that for.
Only do things as serious as this for yourself as it's a big step. Work on your self esteem and let your husband know he must be more considerate of your feelings about your body and that of other women. When you're happy with yourself, I mean really happy, then you may want to think about it. But only do it for you. Good luck :)
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (15 September 2005):
 I think it is important that you explain how you are feeling to your boyfriend and that you have even seriously considered surgery to solve the 'problem'. Make him aware of how insecure it makes you feel when he ogles other women who are big busted.
I'm sure he will reassure you of how attractive you are and that you are a special lady to him.
You have low self esteem but you can build on this; not just through your boyfriend's assurances of how lovely you are but also through you achieving things in life like dreams and aspirations and emphasising all the good traits that you do possess.
Surgery must only happen if you truly want it to and not for someone else so do seriously consider that thought.
Remember also that you mentioned his ex wife with big breasts. His ex wife, which therefore means that just because she had big boobs, it didn't mean he wished to stay with her! He is with you because he wants to be. Find out again that that is true and put your mind at rest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): all men ogle other woman, start checking out other men - see how he likes it!!
If you want surgery - get it- but get it for you - not him!!
If your sex life is still very active, i wouldnt worry, sounds like he's just a typical guy - my boyfriend get my elbow in his ribs at least one or twice a week, we've all been there!
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reader, lildeesbg +, writes (15 September 2005):
 Hun, stop stressing. Men love boobs, and butts. However, that doesnt mean he wants to be with every big busted women he sees. If this was a priority to him then he wouldnt be with you..right? Everyones man somewhere down the line checks out other girls, as long as he doesnt touch, no real harm. However, it is effecting your self-esteem. So talk to him tell him you noticed him staring and it bothers you because your much small in that department and their isnt much you can do about it. Even if deep down he wished you had big boobs, doesnt mean he doesnt love you, the sex, or your relationship.If your not comfortable with sugery then dont bother. Everyone wishes they had something they dont. I am sure other women look at you and wish they had one of your features. You need to be confident in yourself first before you can be comfortable in your relationship. If YOU !! want the surgery then enquire about it before you make any final decision. Make sure if you do go through with this surgery it was FOR YOU AND YOUR ULTIMATE DESISION. This is your body!!! not your boyfriends!!!!!!Dee =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): I do not believe that implants will help you that much in the long run. Yeah, it might make you feel more secure about your relationship and make you feel like your husband will be more attracted to you, but in the end men will be men and they will always check out other women's breats. I am a larger chested woman and my boyfriend of 4 years is constantly still checking out other women's "assets." I can't do anything about this and have just learned to be more secure in who I am and what positive things I have to offer in this relationship. My advice would be to talk to him. Tell him you are feeling insecure about your body and you want his reassurance that he loves you the way that you are. Hopefully, if he is the guy you think he is, he will tell you he loves you the way you are and looking at all those other women means nothing to him.....because keep in mind, you are the one he is coming home to every night....so there has to be something keeping him there. Best luck
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reader, rathernot +, writes (15 September 2005):
I believe you shouldn't change for someone else... Especially physically... You say you want them... But you've gone all this time without them, so why now??? For him??? No... you don't have to have big boobs to be beautiful... I personally prefer smaller boobs... I am a very petite girl all around and i have no problem with it... If someone would like you MORE because of bigger lumps on your chest... I'd say screw it. lol But hey, it's your body.
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