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... Send *ystify a private message | | | *ystify's profile:i live in the uk , yep bad enough...but i seem to of had far too much misfortune than would be considered my fair share,well , "what dont kill you only makes you stronger" , and i want to share the strengh's i found. i will only ever advise from some sort of experience so will always be fronm the heart, i am married but my husband dosent like this site much, feels it is quite negative sometimes, i feel we need to look after our mental health, i have learnt alot through pschycology and being a mental health nusre, then training in law, i want to share with others.
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I just want a second chance...
Q. just lookin 4 some help on here with my ex weve been goin out quite a long time, it started out perfect and everything but u kno how things go downhill. i made my mistakes but i never cheated on her or hit her but i was just a real asshole alo...
A. 30 January 2006: she probably rang you crying because she does still have feelings for you , maybe wishing that she could feel how she did in the begining? i cant say for sure but i do know thats how i felt and i know now deep inside all i wanted back then was for ... (read in full...)
I just want a second chance...
Q. just lookin 4 some help on here with my ex weve been goin out quite a long time, it started out perfect and everything but u kno how things go downhill. i made my mistakes but i never cheated on her or hit her but i was just a real asshole alo...
A. 30 January 2006: when i first met my husband i really adored him, like he all that ever mattered but like you say he just was a complete arsehole to me and i kept trying and trying untill one day it just went too far and i stopped loving him, (i stayed with him cos ... (read in full...)
He slept with me and someone else...should I feel hurt??
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend 7 months ago after a year together because i felt i did not love him anymore despite him being kind, caring and considerate. He adored me but i felt he was too nice. We had our ups and downs as friends since but recently ...
A. 30 January 2006: how long were you split up? 2 weeks ? a year? how long was it before he started seeing the other girl?
i ask because if he started seeing this girl so soon after you split up then i i cant say id forgive as i would never feel that i could of mean... (read in full...)
I had an abortion and I'm depressed over it. My bf doesn't seem to care.
Q. I'm 18 and I had a medical abortion. My bf doesnt seem to care that we killed the baby but i am depressed about it, what should i do to get back to normal?And how should i get some emotion / thoughts out of my bf about the pregnancy. ...
A. 30 January 2006: zabadacks response was truley not something you should have to take in,
it you had of kept the baby , you would not of been "forcing it on him" , it takes 2 to tango and he was as much responsible for the conception of the baby as you were!
if a ... (read in full...)
Calling all "toyboys"... Your views are needed!
Q. Hi! I know there is no definitive answer to this question but I'd appreciate some 'toyboys' responses to this one - what is that you 'toyboy's, for want of a better word, love about your older women? What is it about older women that you find ...
A. 30 January 2006: hi,
i am not a toyboy , but i am an 'older woman' i am nearly 8 years older than my husband who i met when he was just turned 17 and apart from my worrying everything is great we have been together over 2 years and have 2 kids , if anything he isth... (read in full...)
Neither my wife nor I can stand the idea that each of us was once with other people!
Q. I need help. My wife and I are in our forties. We are both in our 2nd marriages. Just the mention of her telling me she was at the same resturant as when she dated someone gives me this sick feeling inside. I was married for a long time before b...
A. 28 January 2006: you say the 2 month fling hurts the most, i can kinda relate to that and i think my boyfriend can although i cant nessarily explain it, my husband is pretty relaxed when it comes to my exes and he dosent fret about them but he is mates with the guy ... (read in full...)
Afraid that guys will be turned off by my pubic hair!
Q. I am so afraid that guys will be turned-off by my pubic hair. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Should I shave? Should I wax? Or just let it grow into a horrible looking bush? What do most women do? Does this really gross out guys?...
A. 27 January 2006: i keep it all shaved, most men , not all seem to prefer it this way but one thing i know is that i prefer it gone... (read in full...)
Is it odd that my teen son stashes salt & vinegar crisps in his room...for "historical importance"?? What should I do
Q. I was cleaning the house one day, when I found 20 packets of uneaten salt and vinegar flavoured crisps in my 16-year-old son's bedroom wardrobe. I then found another 40 up in the loft in his bedroom. I have asked him why he had the crisps ...
A. 27 January 2006: i used to make potions and store them under the bed to see what happened to them in the name of science, on the other hand when i was anorexic i had i bin full of dinners(gravey n all) in my bedroom.
salt n vinegar is a REALLY wierd flavour and to b... (read in full...)
I'm a 23 year old virgin with a 5.5 inch penis. I feel shy about having sex...help!
Q. i am 23 old virgin and i have 5.5 inch penis .should i feel shy from having sex ? i feel shy :(...
A. 27 January 2006: whats wrong with 5.5 inches?! i once was with a guy who was so small it wouldnt penetrate! (im talking 1/2 inch!!!) if its in there its good! , to be honest i feel more when its smaller and isnt it width they say is more not length , well too deep ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get my girlfriend's past sex life out of my head?
Q. Hey out there, I'm going crazy. Well I'm having trouble with my girlfriend's past. She has had sex with 15 other guys and had sexual relations with at least 6 more. I try not to bring it up but it comes up in my head a lot, to the point where I get ...
A. 27 January 2006: heya dannylaw,
i wrote you a reply but my putors messing i dont know if it will be posted but after reading your post again i realise you and me are so alike , what strikes me most is where you say you like to think your girl has shanged but not ... (read in full...)
How would I know if he's actually still looking at porn?
Q. If a guy says that he's not going to go behind your back to look at porn, will he keep his promise? What are some signs of them looking at it behind your back? ...
A. 26 January 2006: sorry i meant to put that i couldnt leave my guy even though i DIDNT trust him (makes more sense now , hehe)
but i wanted to add that looking at porn like suorpio said is not going behind someones back but ONLY if that person knows about it, if they... (read in full...)
Help me decide where to draw the line with my girlfriend when it comes to hanging out with opposite-sex friends!
Q. I'm 23, and my girlfriend is 19 and in her first year of college. We started dating in Aug, like 3 weeks before she left for school. I made it clear to her that things were going to be tuff and I didn't want to be the reason for her to use me as an ...
A. 26 January 2006: i am a bit like you i dont like my husband hanging out with girls at work or wherever, i am lucky cos my husband listens to the way i feel and understands and dosent milk relationships with girls anymore, he dosentloose out any cos he has plenty of ... (read in full...)
Couldn't find my missing panties, until they turned up in my BF's computer desk!
Q. Here is a really strange one to everyone. I was doing my laundry as usual and when I was putting it all up and away I noiticed something missing. Ok the article of clothing was my skimpy stringy black thong. Sure I was a little confused on where ...
A. 26 January 2006: the panties thing i thought was quite sweet ,but the bondage thing and yo say other wierd things its hard to say whats going on not knowing what these items are, but it would seem he has some kind of fetish, you wasnt snooping so you could quite ... (read in full...)
How would I know if he's actually still looking at porn?
Q. If a guy says that he's not going to go behind your back to look at porn, will he keep his promise? What are some signs of them looking at it behind your back? ...
A. 26 January 2006: the thing about this is , its so easy to lie to someone who truley wants to believe what you are saying!
if you get doubts and he does things like, flicking the computor off when you walk in or things he says dont quite add up or if you turn up unex... (read in full...)
Mum made me break up with my boyfriend after I got pregnant, but I still miss him!
Q. Hi, I'm 17 and I have a 6 month old baby boy, but my baby's dad doesn't see him, which isn't my choice or his. It's my mum's because I still live at home and she made me break up with him when I got pregnant. But I miss him. What should I do?...
A. 26 January 2006: your mum is being unfair and controlling, she may feel she is doing this for your own good but she needs to let you make your own mistakes.
you dont say where you are but if your in the uk then you could register with the council to get your own ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get my girlfriend's past sex life out of my head?
Q. Hey out there, I'm going crazy. Well I'm having trouble with my girlfriend's past. She has had sex with 15 other guys and had sexual relations with at least 6 more. I try not to bring it up but it comes up in my head a lot, to the point where I get ...
A. 26 January 2006: hey Dannylaw1,
you really seem very naive about women!
first of all i am not a feminst, feminsts hate men and spend all day putting men down in general and usually dont try to impress them, i in fact love men , i have a husband who i always t... (read in full...)
Why can't I get my girlfriend's past sex life out of my head?
Q. Hey out there, I'm going crazy. Well I'm having trouble with my girlfriend's past. She has had sex with 15 other guys and had sexual relations with at least 6 more. I try not to bring it up but it comes up in my head a lot, to the point where I get ...
A. 26 January 2006: anonymous , i am disapointed by what the other men have wrote here but what you wrote disgusts me! there should never be a double standard between sexes when it come to sleeping around, that just what dumb men say as an excuse for their own ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get my girlfriend's past sex life out of my head?
Q. Hey out there, I'm going crazy. Well I'm having trouble with my girlfriend's past. She has had sex with 15 other guys and had sexual relations with at least 6 more. I try not to bring it up but it comes up in my head a lot, to the point where I get ...
A. 25 January 2006: i know you posted this a while ago but i am so dumbstruck by the responses you have recieved , i mean come on guys, i really didnt realise that men could be such hypocrites, when a man has a sexual past it is a good thing, he is a stud! but when a ... (read in full...)
How can I make my breasts look better??
Q. hey there.ifeelso selfish writing this because i have alovley face and body.its just my boobs.all of the girlsin my b/fs mags have got gorgeous tits thatare full with massive nipples.mine are just so small. i feel so concious about them.i dont want ...
A. 25 January 2006: depending on how big they are a half cup bra might help this way they will be pushed up like when you wear a bra but your nipples will still be exposed, if you have pale nipple a little dark lipstick on them will make them darker and more enticing , ... (read in full...)
I don't want to show him parts of my body...
Q. Hi, I hope you will be able to help me--I've always felt self-conscious about my body and I lost a lot of weight, (because I was like 205 pounds but got down to 130 doing exercise and changing my eating) but I have all this flabby skin especially ...
A. 25 January 2006: if hes a good boyfriend he will help you get over it, i used to really hate by bum and i didnt let ANYONE see it not even long term boyfriends, but when i met my husband he made me feel so good about myself he made me feel sexy for who i was, he ... (read in full...)
Why don't the men who use porn...ever think about the pain and hurt they can cause their partners?
Q. Why is it that a lot of men dont seem to even think about the hurt they can cause their partners by using porn. Dont they stop to think how it would feel to them if we used pictures of young hunks to get off especially as they are changing and ...
A. 24 January 2006:
porn is here but it dosent have to be a part of our lives if we dont want it, there is nothing wrong with anyone who has the confidence to stand up in this day and age and admit that they dont like it... (read in full...)
Why don't the men who use porn...ever think about the pain and hurt they can cause their partners?
Q. Why is it that a lot of men dont seem to even think about the hurt they can cause their partners by using porn. Dont they stop to think how it would feel to them if we used pictures of young hunks to get off especially as they are changing and ...
A. 24 January 2006: i dont think that anyone who gets upset by thier partners use of porn should be considering getting help, i think that its important to remember that when you catch your partner with there eyes all over someones elses body it can bring the same ... (read in full...)
Why don't the men who use porn...ever think about the pain and hurt they can cause their partners?
Q. Why is it that a lot of men dont seem to even think about the hurt they can cause their partners by using porn. Dont they stop to think how it would feel to them if we used pictures of young hunks to get off especially as they are changing and ...
A. 24 January 2006: i dont think that anyone who gets upset by thier partners use of porn should be considering getting help, i think that its important to remember that when you catch your partner with there eyes all over someones elses body it can bring the same ... (read in full...)
Please help me with my jealousy...
Q. i am 18 and ihave a baby with a man who is 7 years older than me. he i very controlling and im am very jealous due to the way i was raised. i am very insecure about my looks and my attitude. he often puts me down harshly and he is very secret ...
A. 24 January 2006: this sounds a bit like my relationship a year ago, it took alot of working on and i got depression and became alcoholice before it even started to change, the getting angry when trying to talk thing was so frustrating, is he ever kind to you, if not ... (read in full...)
He's had so many lovers...what if a long lost child of his sudenly turns up?
Q. My boyfriend has slept with over 100 women in the last 10 years (which I think is really bad, but that's another issue!) Anyway, the other day I was asking him questions about his past and he told me that probably about 90 of these were ...
A. 24 January 2006: there could be a chance of there being children, if they turn up (or rather the mothers do) then it could be that they will ask him to be involved or it could be they want help paying for the childs upbringing, there are plenty of broken ... (read in full...)
Our 16 year old son is with a 43 year old woman...what do we do?
Q. Recently me and my husband found out that our 16-year-old son has been dating a 43-year-old woman and has got engaged to her. We asked our son if this was true, and he said it was. He told us he is talking of getting engaged to her and havin...
A. 24 January 2006: as this is legal there is not alot that you can do.
i wanted to add that although i am not quite as old as the woman your son is seeing i was 24 when i started seeing my husband who was just turned 17 when we met, his parents got all dest... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and looking for ways to spice up my sex life with my boyfriend...
Q. Hi there... I'm a 15 year old lass and me and my boyfriend have been going out with each other for around 6 months. We sleep together (and my parents are aware, I talked to my mum before anything happened). We have a very great and active sex life, ...
A. 24 January 2006: ask again when its legal , it would be wrong for an adult to give a minor sex tips... (read in full...)
Why don't the men who use porn...ever think about the pain and hurt they can cause their partners?
Q. Why is it that a lot of men dont seem to even think about the hurt they can cause their partners by using porn. Dont they stop to think how it would feel to them if we used pictures of young hunks to get off especially as they are changing and ...
A. 24 January 2006: i think you have your answer in what MR ED wrote! ....men look at porn regardless of how it hurts the one they love because they dont really care about them at all!
He wrote that hed rather have her 'pissed about porn' (although he already said that... (read in full...)
Worried that my messy habits will have gotten my girlfriend pregnant!
Q. Hey, this is going to sound really dumb and you'll probably thinking that I'm worrying about nothing (I hope) but the other day me and my girlfriend were messing around on my couch. I went to adjust myself and got some precum on my finger, I wiped ...
A. 20 January 2006: like rebecca said, i would ignore milannyc, i am a girl who has got pregant 4 times! all while on the pill, and 2 times with the extra precaution of the morning after pill! and 3 of them times was after having had sex just once in like a 3 month ... (read in full...)
I need to cheat on my boyfriend. It gives me a thrill!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We started going out with each other when I was 13 and he was 16. We are very happy together. We moved in with each other when I was 16. In the first year of our relationship I cheated on him, because ...
A. 20 January 2006: sounds like you crave attention, like maybe your getting off more on people wanting you than you wanting them! maybe eyeswideopen's comment about low self esteem is true or maybe you just have a huge ego , or maybe you just cant resist men giving ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to think after my girl send me a pic of her boob! Was it a honey-trap?
Q. Hi there, Please help... I received a text last night while I was having a curry and a few beers with a mate of mine from a number that was unknown. It read, "Hi, do you fancy a $hag?" I ignored this as I am not into cheating and I lov...
A. 20 January 2006: i think that bev is more or less right , it seems a wierd thing to do , but i do think that you are overeacting a bit , to be annoyed when you got the text is one thing but to be sooo angry with your girlfriend still when you found out it was just ... (read in full...)
Hubby's not attracted to me, and he's not shy about telling me what I lack!
Q. My husband doesn't find me phyically attractive but says hes attracted to me because of the person I am and that he loves me. Should I not worry about this? I have done evrything I can think of to be attractive to him but he prefers a woman in her ...
A. 20 January 2006: if someone truley loved you they would love everything about you, but at the same time someone who demoralises you like that does not love you, i would worry what is a relationship if it dosent make you feel good about life and yourself!... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has an erection??
Q. heya i am 16 and i want to know how i know if my 16 year old boyfriend has an erection around me. if we hug or kiss or something how do i know if he has an erection without asking him cos i dont really wanna ask him ha ha. is there any signs li...
A. 18 January 2006: thier breathing gets heavier which can really show on there face or in there voice esp when they try hide it! ... (read in full...)
My husband has a married female friend and I find their friendship too excessive. What should I do?
Q. Husband had female friend - is she after him? My husband of five years has a female friend (she is married also) that he met at his new job. We recently moved to a new area and he says she is his only friend. They talk at least once a day, call...
A. 18 January 2006: anon male, even without the sex what you have is an affair and with the secrets it is also a betrayal, bear this in mind , for women sometimes the emotional stuff hurts more than the physical stuff as women are so tuned into thier emtional sides... (read in full...)
I'm 13 dating a 24 year old man... Is this cool?
Q. Im 13 and starting to get on "WELL" with a 24 year old. Im 13 and had met this 24 year old guy and we have a hell of a lot in common. We feel strongly for each other. And we have kinda been steady for while. Im a extremly mature 13 year old,and i am ...
A. 12 January 2006: hi there,
i am sorry to hear that you were left alone at 7 , but that doesnt make you older , it makes your parents irrisponsible, have you thought that prehaps the reason you have leaned towards this guy maybe due to wanting a father figure if preh... (read in full...)
Slept with a lad but now he's acting all stoopid...
Q. I had sex with a lad and afterwards he was ok. he told one person and he changed. he became horrible as if he was in denial, then when no ones looking or watching, he flirts with me and starts touching me up. i don't understand. straight after when ...
A. 9 January 2006: it sounds like he is pretty young , i would guess he is into you but still is in the stage of thinking that "talking to girls aint cool" so therefore need to wind you up to act "cool" , i think its best to steer cleer of him while he sending out all ... (read in full...)
Back together now, but it hurts me to think of my partner with other people while we were split up...
Q. Please i need advice on how to forget. I have got back with my partner after we split from a longterm relationship of about 4 yrs. But someone come between us because they were jealous of what we had. Then the two of them slept together while we ...
A. 9 January 2006: you are not being silly to feel that way...its only natural, when you got together you imagined there would be noone else, now your having to get used to the fact there was.
i was in a similar situation once, and i seemed to get comfort from the ... (read in full...)
How do we stop arguing??
Q. how can I STOP ARGUING WITH MY WIFE AND GET RELATIONSHIP ON TRACK...
A. 9 January 2006: try looking at each other as the people you met and fell in love with more often , sometimes day to day things and problems can make you forget how special each of you really are to each other.
when me and my husband start argueing too much i take... (read in full...)
If you are married, do you still need your parents??
Q. Do adults still need their parents love and support once they're married and have kids? My daughter recently got married and is pregnant. Am I still needed in her life? We have a pretty close relationship, but I can't help but feel as if I'm going ...
A. 9 January 2006: you shouldnt feel replaced, lots of people like to see it as gaining a son/grandchild etc...
in fact when i got married and had kids my relationship with my father improved, now he has me calling him and my husband calling him for advice and stuf... (read in full...)
I want to be more independent...any ideas??
Q. How do I get to be more independent? I don't like being dependent on anyone and at the weekend, my boyfriend threatened to leave me stranded somewhere. I wouldn't have been able to get home and I was very upset. I ended up begging him and it was q...
A. 9 January 2006: i think that to get get independant you need to get rid of this guy, it sounds like he just wants a doll not a woman, not to mention the fact that he abusing and using your fear to put you in a position where he has power over you.
as for your ago... (read in full...)
How long to fall in love?
Q. how long does it take to fall in love?...
A. 8 January 2006: zababdak , how do you explain the love of a child with this theory? just wondering cos i think that alot of people thesedays assume the loving feeling is the excited anxiety you feel when you meet someone you fancy as apposed to real true love that ... (read in full...)
How long to fall in love?
Q. how long does it take to fall in love?...
A. 8 January 2006: zababdak , how do you explain the love of a child with this theory? just wondering cos i think that alot of people thesedays assume the loving feeling is the excited anxiety you feel when you meet someone you fancy as apposed to real true love that ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 dating a 24 year old man... Is this cool?
Q. Im 13 and starting to get on "WELL" with a 24 year old. Im 13 and had met this 24 year old guy and we have a hell of a lot in common. We feel strongly for each other. And we have kinda been steady for while. Im a extremly mature 13 year old,and i am ...
A. 7 January 2006: i feel the need to point out to writer of this question that in no way was i putting you down by reffering to you as a "child", just simply pointing out the fact that i was a child when i was 13. and i believe there is nothing wrong with that! what ... (read in full...)
My husband has a married female friend and I find their friendship too excessive. What should I do?
Q. Husband had female friend - is she after him? My husband of five years has a female friend (she is married also) that he met at his new job. We recently moved to a new area and he says she is his only friend. They talk at least once a day, call...
A. 6 January 2006: as i was reading this i was thinking that it just didnt sound quite right , but when it got to you saying that he hates talking to her on the phone in front of you and she acts differently towards your husband around you, i just cant believe that ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 dating a 24 year old man... Is this cool?
Q. Im 13 and starting to get on "WELL" with a 24 year old. Im 13 and had met this 24 year old guy and we have a hell of a lot in common. We feel strongly for each other. And we have kinda been steady for while. Im a extremly mature 13 year old,and i am ...
A. 6 January 2006: hi ,
when i was 14 i looked older too and when i used to go out with my mum anywhere all her mates would hit on me thinking i was her sister but everytime they did my mums boyfriend would quickly put them in their place because i was just a CHIL... (read in full...)
How long to fall in love?
Q. how long does it take to fall in love?...
A. 4 January 2006: love dosent just happen automatically after a certain period of time , it happens if you are with the right person and it can be after any length of time that you realise it!
you know you are in love when it happens, the differance betwwen lust and ... (read in full...)
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