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She fancies sexy guys on TV... But shows absolutely zero interest in sex with me!

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Question - (31 December 2005) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2006)
A male United Kingdom, *oe writes:

why does me girlfriend seem to show little or no interest physically?

hi, i'm 18 and been with my girfriend for just 1 year and 3 months. we've never had sex but have came close but i had to stop as she said it had hurt when i had penetrated her.

my problem is that my girlfriend seems to no show interest in me physically unless she is drunk, but if she sees a famous guy on television she will go on about how sexy he may be, she knows it can upset me at times because she knows she never really gives me that type of attention i was wondering if there is anything i can do that will turn her on so atleast she will pay me some sort of phsyical attention.

i've tried everything to get her "in the mood" but nothing seems to work some please help me if they can thank you.

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A male reader, Joe United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2006):

Joe is verified as being by the original poster of the question

mmmmmmmm funny now you mention that she is almost all the time caught off guard when i hug her from behind.

i'll give it a try next time see what happens won't know what works if i don't try

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A female reader, mystify +, writes (2 January 2006):

mystify agony aunthmmm , mabe shes not ready yet and is hiding behind the things she says!, on the other hand maybe the idea of foreplay dosent appeal to her cos she hasnt found out what she likes yet...

i always like my man to take me by surprise maybe a gentle hug from behind when im doing the washing up or doing my lipstick in front of the mirror, then gentle strokes round my waist, neck, brushing my hair aside, then moving round my body, haha... this never fails me, even when i wish it would!

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A male reader, Joe United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2005):

Joe is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I like to thank you for that answer nice little confidence boost :-) but I've always let her know that I aint in it just for me because in my honest opinion I just want to please her best I can, I've told her that once we actually have sex that what has just been given was only for her and will continue to be only for her unless some sort of tragic accident were to happen that would split us apart. I've asked her abour foreplay but she says she is not interested in such things what so ever now I'm no gift to women and I know different women have different turn ons thats why I asked if some women could tell me what they like so maybe I could see if there may be a link to show that my girlfriend may like certain things

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A female reader, mystify +, writes (31 December 2005):

mystify agony auntthis girl is not respecting you if she is comparing you to other men!

but maybe she is sexually immature, when i was younger sex was always about what the guy wanted , liked, i thought it was all about pleasing them , because of the way i saw sex in the media etc.

this meant i didnt see the physical joy in sex till i met a good man who showed me how good he could make me feel, this didnt happen till i was 24! after 8 years of getting it wrong. so only then i learnt that i too could enjoy it as much as any man did i start to want to initiate things.

i think if you learn a few teqniques stroke her in the right places,foreplay... not heading straight to the obvious places , concentrate on her body, youll soon have her swooning and then if she still says things that hurt you then move on nobody needs that.

you sound like a decent guy that any girl should be grateful to have

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A male reader, Joe United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2005):

Joe is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sorry if i forgot to mention her age she is 17 and turns 18 on may 11th we've always been able to talk about anything physical, what concerns me some times is when she said "if you had a body like van damn(in his prime) i'd jump you"

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A male reader, pzeller +, writes (31 December 2005):

pzeller agony auntWell, remember. You want her to pay physical attention to you, but she isn't really doing that for the guys on the TV either.

You mention you are 18. You don't mention her age, but is this perhaps someone who is not yet comfortable having sex? If so, it would be inappropriate for her to pay this sort of attention to you (it would be a tease).

If you are bothered by her paying attention to the guys on the TV, tell her it bothers you. If she respects you, she could turn off the TV and spend time with you instead (if she wants). At least she could stop with the comments about how sexy these guys are.

At such a young age, her perceived lack of attention for you may not be as negative a thing as you think. It may have nothing to do with you.

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