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... Send *ystify a private message | | | *ystify's profile:i live in the uk , yep bad enough...but i seem to of had far too much misfortune than would be considered my fair share,well , "what dont kill you only makes you stronger" , and i want to share the strengh's i found. i will only ever advise from some sort of experience so will always be fronm the heart, i am married but my husband dosent like this site much, feels it is quite negative sometimes, i feel we need to look after our mental health, i have learnt alot through pschycology and being a mental health nusre, then training in law, i want to share with others.
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Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 16 February 2006: i try to never say this as i find it so hard myself but maybe he is just not the one for you, it shouldnt be this hard! the trust is well and truley gone , i think the only thing i could say is to set some boundaries in your relationship with him ... (read in full...)
My husband has a married female friend and I find their friendship too excessive. What should I do?
Q. Husband had female friend - is she after him? My husband of five years has a female friend (she is married also) that he met at his new job. We recently moved to a new area and he says she is his only friend. They talk at least once a day, call...
A. 18 January 2006: anon male, even without the sex what you have is an affair and with the secrets it is also a betrayal, bear this in mind , for women sometimes the emotional stuff hurts more than the physical stuff as women are so tuned into thier emtional sides... (read in full...)
I'm 13 dating a 24 year old man... Is this cool?
Q. Im 13 and starting to get on "WELL" with a 24 year old. Im 13 and had met this 24 year old guy and we have a hell of a lot in common. We feel strongly for each other. And we have kinda been steady for while. Im a extremly mature 13 year old,and i am ...
A. 12 January 2006: hi there,
i am sorry to hear that you were left alone at 7 , but that doesnt make you older , it makes your parents irrisponsible, have you thought that prehaps the reason you have leaned towards this guy maybe due to wanting a father figure if preh... (read in full...)
How long to fall in love?
Q. how long does it take to fall in love?...
A. 8 January 2006: zababdak , how do you explain the love of a child with this theory? just wondering cos i think that alot of people thesedays assume the loving feeling is the excited anxiety you feel when you meet someone you fancy as apposed to real true love that ... (read in full...)
How long to fall in love?
Q. how long does it take to fall in love?...
A. 8 January 2006: zababdak , how do you explain the love of a child with this theory? just wondering cos i think that alot of people thesedays assume the loving feeling is the excited anxiety you feel when you meet someone you fancy as apposed to real true love that ... (read in full...)
At it like rabbits?
Q. What is the reason behind increased sexual promiscuity in recent time?...
A. 8 January 2006: i would like to agree with Robin in that abuse is more about power than about sexual desire, in what i have seen only a small percent of rape cases are about someone getting turned on by someone and raping them...its more often than not a disgusting ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with my underage girlfriend? She says she's ready, but I'm not sure about the consequences...
Q. I am 20, my girlfriend is 15. She's said she's ready for sex with me, but I'm feeling like I'm doing something very wrong. I feel a lot for her and we're really happy together, but, I just don't know where I would stand legally if I have sex with ...
A. 8 January 2006: id like to pint out to anon that its not about male or female here, its about age and if the minor was male and the adult was male and the adult was female then the law will came down on her too, and in fact women have a hard enough time trying to ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 dating a 24 year old man... Is this cool?
Q. Im 13 and starting to get on "WELL" with a 24 year old. Im 13 and had met this 24 year old guy and we have a hell of a lot in common. We feel strongly for each other. And we have kinda been steady for while. Im a extremly mature 13 year old,and i am ...
A. 7 January 2006: i feel the need to point out to writer of this question that in no way was i putting you down by reffering to you as a "child", just simply pointing out the fact that i was a child when i was 13. and i believe there is nothing wrong with that! what ... (read in full...)
My relationships only last a few weeks at the most. What can i do to improve my love life?
Q. im 18 and had many boyfriends but my relationships only seem to last a few weeks at most. i met a really nice lad and we spent a whole weekend together but out of the blue he dumped me over a text. what can i do to improve my love life?...
A. 7 January 2006: i would just like to add to your comments from a differant view point i dont want to dissmiss anyones comments as everyones advice is helpful but i would like to share with ronwe and anyone else having this problem that in my experience it is the ... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend hits on me whenever she's not around. I want to say something without hurting her!
Q. Hi, My problem is kind of simple, but how do I tell my friend that her boyfriend constantly hits on me when she isn't around? I don't want to tell her because I am afraid she won't believe me, but on the other hand I want her to know what he does. ...
A. 7 January 2006: i was in this situation once, my friends boyfriend was kissing her i was stood behind her (close cos we were at the bar) and as she couldnt see he started trying to fiddle with my bra! i was mortified and i went straight over to hers the next day ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to acknowlege our baby and he treats me like rubbish! How do I move on from this?
Q. Hi there, Please help me. I'm in a dlienma, my boyfriend of 2 years didn't want our baby I had in july. He told his ex-wife and their son, that the baby was not his. I went to live with my parents and the baby. We have been seeing each other fr...
A. 7 January 2006: he is attempting to control you by telling you , you will never meet anyone else with a baby...he is treating you bad and you deserve better and i can tell you that i had a baby i did it all on my own and when my baby was only 1 year old i met my ... (read in full...)
My relationships only last a few weeks at the most. What can i do to improve my love life?
Q. im 18 and had many boyfriends but my relationships only seem to last a few weeks at most. i met a really nice lad and we spent a whole weekend together but out of the blue he dumped me over a text. what can i do to improve my love life?...
A. 6 January 2006: this happened to me too a couple of years ago and i was really insulted when my friends started telling me that i must be doing something wrong , that i there must be something wrong with me or the way i am when i start a relationship...
they told... (read in full...)
My husband told me he doesn't love me and is considering an affair. What should I do?
Q. My husband told me he doesn't love as much as he used to and that he considered having an affair with someone that he works with. He now refuses to even talk about the problem and only says that he would like it fixed....
A. 6 January 2006: i think the only way to fix this situation is to leave him before he hurts you... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my bf of 2 years in a different light, over birth control issues. Am I being over dramatic?
Q. Iv been with my partner for a couple of years but I'm beginning to see him in a different light. The problem is he wont use condoms anymore,he says they dont feel right so he suggested I'd go on the pill which i did. Anyway,i have tried 3 different ...
A. 6 January 2006: dragging you off for an abortion is not an appriopiate method of contraception!
if he dosent want to wear a condom anymore then that is his issue not yours and i would suggest to him that he get himself down to the docters for the snip (i think ther... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with my underage girlfriend? She says she's ready, but I'm not sure about the consequences...
Q. I am 20, my girlfriend is 15. She's said she's ready for sex with me, but I'm feeling like I'm doing something very wrong. I feel a lot for her and we're really happy together, but, I just don't know where I would stand legally if I have sex with ...
A. 6 January 2006: you are already unsure about your relationship as you are worring about her shopping you to the police,
if it is the legal side of things you are worried about then you should probably know that it sounds like you have already overstepped that line... (read in full...)
Could I bring back a lost love with a love spell... or is that just a scam?
Q. I have a question about somehting a Lil bit different. I was doing a search for love advice and came across this one and another one that I have a question about. It was bring back a lost love by ordering a spell .Do you think these really work or ...
A. 6 January 2006: when i was younger i used to mess around with the occult and although i dont know a great deal about it , at best when people involve themselves with "spells" they are more about creating a postive frame of mind and good karma as apposed to "magic" ... (read in full...)
Being just the two of us for so many months, I know I started to obsess about my gf. Why can't I get past this?
Q. Hey, I’m Rob - and I need some help! I’m 18 and was going out with my ex gf for 10 months. She was my life, really she was. When we first went out I wanted nothing serious but then she invited me over her house and I met the family and she initiate...
A. 6 January 2006: there will probably always be a place for her in your heart but in time you will find that there is room in your heart for others also.
its gonna be hard because you feel you have nothing left to fall back on, so you have gotta try and find posi... (read in full...)
My husband has a married female friend and I find their friendship too excessive. What should I do?
Q. Husband had female friend - is she after him? My husband of five years has a female friend (she is married also) that he met at his new job. We recently moved to a new area and he says she is his only friend. They talk at least once a day, call...
A. 6 January 2006: as i was reading this i was thinking that it just didnt sound quite right , but when it got to you saying that he hates talking to her on the phone in front of you and she acts differently towards your husband around you, i just cant believe that ... (read in full...)
At it like rabbits?
Q. What is the reason behind increased sexual promiscuity in recent time?...
A. 6 January 2006: i agree with joe there is definatly a decrease in religeon and with that goes morals ,
the media have also showed a side to sexual promiscuity that is supposed to be cool,
i dont think that for sex to not be seen a dirty thing it has to be loose... (read in full...)
I'm 13 dating a 24 year old man... Is this cool?
Q. Im 13 and starting to get on "WELL" with a 24 year old. Im 13 and had met this 24 year old guy and we have a hell of a lot in common. We feel strongly for each other. And we have kinda been steady for while. Im a extremly mature 13 year old,and i am ...
A. 6 January 2006: hi ,
when i was 14 i looked older too and when i used to go out with my mum anywhere all her mates would hit on me thinking i was her sister but everytime they did my mums boyfriend would quickly put them in their place because i was just a CHIL... (read in full...)
I feel rejected because my partner "just doesn't like" having sex during my periods...
Q. I'm wondering whether I'm making a fuss over nothing, as it's hard to get men's honest opinions on this: should I be bothered that my partner "just doesn't like" making love during my periods. For the record, he is not squeamish about anything else ...
A. 4 January 2006: i think that this would really get to me because i am always unbearably horny on my period! ,but maybe you could suggest sex in the shower when 'on' to minimise mess and maybe move on from there... (read in full...)
I want to protect my son from being hurt or involved in a sexual relationship with the girl he's seeing...
Q. Hi, My name is Sue and I have a little problem: my 13 year old son really likes my friend's daughter (who is 16). They are always meeting up, even though they go differents schools (about 3 times a week). They are always at each others' side and...
A. 4 January 2006: if you dont want your son involved in a sexual relationship at 13 you would be being a great parent by putting your foot down and saying no, i know it can be hard to turn down your children for things and to feel like you are the one causing them ... (read in full...)
My girl walks all over me...
Q. my girlfriend never seems to stick to commitments with me when we plan to see each other, i'm always asking her "when is it best to see you" i'm always having to ask when i can see her next, and more often then not she never sticks to the plans and ...
A. 4 January 2006: if you think she is woth fighting for and you feel that you have made that first step i say give it a go, me and my husband were in a terrible place a year and a half ago due to his neglect and hurtful ways , but things could almost be perfect ... (read in full...)
Love my new boyfriend, but in bed, I can't help comparing him to my much-better ex boyfriend!
Q. I recently got a new boyfriend and I'm worried that our sex life wont keep me as satisfied as I was with my ex. Although my new guy is older, he can't last as long and doesn't have a very high sex drive compared to me at all. I love him so much...
A. 4 January 2006: i have never found that the size is what counts its what they do with it ,i agree with mumof three ... it can take time in a relationship to learn about each other bodies and what works for each other. and teaching each other is the best bit ... (read in full...)
She had a dozen pictures of her ex on the dresser and we've been together 3 months. Red flag?
Q. In the past 3 months I got back from Iraq and have been "dating" a girl that I have known for years since high school. Currently both of us are 24 and just trying to see how this relationship could work out. I'm new to relationships on a recent a...
A. 4 January 2006: maybe she just hasnt got round to taking them down yet, if you confront her and she dosent take them down then id be concerned... (read in full...)
My fiancee cheated on me...so do I stay with her or leave this relationship?
Q. Hi ive been in my relationship with my fiance for 2 years now just recently i found out that she was cheating with another guy i know she loves me and i feel like she made a mistake the question i have is should i give it a go or should i get out ...
A. 4 January 2006: if it was a one off mistake id say if you love her give it another go , if you can be comfortable with that but , you say she was cheating? did it happen with this guy more than once, id find that behaviour hard to understand in a loving ... (read in full...)
A small percentage of people invited to my party showed up..what could be the reasons that more didn't show up?
Q. Had a wonderful party on New Years Eve but feel annoyed and disappointed with some of my friends and relatives. Sent out invites to a new year's eve party - only 36 out of 105 people came to the party. Seems a low number to me - is that the usual ...
A. 4 January 2006: i wanted to reply to this as i feel for you, i had this happen on my wedding day i sent out the invites people said they were coming , i spent a fortune on food and a disco then loads of people didnt turn up and outt of the ones who did some left ... (read in full...)
I have a baby face and look younger than I really am..I need tips on how to look older.
Q. This may seem like a odd question so don't take it too seriously. I am almost 19 years old and I look as though I am 16. I have a "baby face", and it sucks. Of course, this attracts the wrong type of guy, sorry but 15 year olds aren't my type. ...
A. 4 January 2006: hi, i have the same "problem" in fact i always seem to aquire the nickname 'babyface', the thing is i am 26 and look 17 i am always getting id'd but get this... i love it!
better this than looking old before your time!
but in answer to your que... (read in full...)
Girls my age think I look too young, but will I be asking for trouble to go out with a 15-year-old?
Q. I'm 19 and I've became good friends with a girl who is 15. I know she fancies me. I really like her back and we have so much in common. We are perfect for each other. The only thing is the age difference is holding me back from asking her out. I'm ...
A. 4 January 2006: i wouldnt worry if you look younger than you are one day you will be happy for it , personnally i am a girl of 26 and i have always gone for younger looking men, im with a 19 year old and there are many girls and women like me,
you are right to be w... (read in full...)
Dating someone older???
Q. hi i was wonderin what everyone thought about datin older ppl??? im 14 and datin a 28 year old man. what u fink??...
A. 4 January 2006: i find what glforever wrote disturbing and he has given you somewhat misleading advice , firstly what he is doing is illeagal if he is having penetrative sex with you, oral sex , or masterbating, the law see this as a sexual assault facing a ... (read in full...)
I'm so terrified about sex I can't even use a tampon. How could I ever have a baby?
Q. I have a huuge problem that I'm not exactly ready to face. I have a problem with sex. Im 19 and my boyfriend and I have decided to wait till marriage to have sex. I'm fine with that, but I'm dreading the day we do get married and I'll be ob...
A. 4 January 2006: i would just like to point out that it has been many years since the laws changed to state that a woman is not obligated to have sex with anyone, even her husband.
your boyfriend should be understanding gentle and patient with you even on your wedd... (read in full...)
I get an orgasm each time I get intimate with my boy... Normal or lucky?
Q. I've read some of the questions about what an orgasm is and some replies said that they're not even sure it they've had one. It took him a while (about 4 mo., it was both our first times having any kind of sexual pleasure by another person), but now ...
A. 4 January 2006: hehe, you are lucky and normal , i also i have this good fortune and believe i couldnt be happier...ooo and i recommend if you are that in tune with each other practising the art of reaching an orgasm at the same time as your boyfriend , *outta this ... (read in full...)
How long to fall in love?
Q. how long does it take to fall in love?...
A. 4 January 2006: love dosent just happen automatically after a certain period of time , it happens if you are with the right person and it can be after any length of time that you realise it!
you know you are in love when it happens, the differance betwwen lust and ... (read in full...)
My husband always leaves me unsatisfied when we have sex. What should I do?
Q. How I'm Married ..can any one tell me why my hubby and I only have sex when he wants it and If I don't cum he says ....sorry i'm done ..you have to wait for next time...help...he never has to wait ...y do i...i'm so unsatisfied it aint funny what ...
A. 4 January 2006: masterbating yourself will never bring the satisfaction you get from an orgasm acheived by sex,
(in fact while my fella was away it only made my desperation worse),
you need to tell him that its no good, sex is supposed to be enjoyable to both of ... (read in full...)
I'm 17, he's 37..I want him but he keeps pushing me away! What should I do?
Q. oh my gos i cant belive im doin this ...... ok iv bin best friends with this guy for ages well just over a year and i can tell him every thing you no all of my girly probs and every body at first thort something was goin on just coss hes a man a...
A. 4 January 2006: age is not an issue in the question of love , that unless one of the people involved makes it an issue, if this guy has made it an issue then talk to him about what you both want he may simply think that you might want differant things the talk may ... (read in full...)
She's 16, I'm 14 and we almost had sex. She wants to see me again..I love her but I dont know what to do.
Q. Hi People, I hope you can help me my problem is as follows,; I have just had a boxing day party and this girl was there, she was 16 and i am 13 almost 14, we got chattin and found a few things in common, after a few hours we ended up just lying on...
A. 4 January 2006: you ask for views on an age gap of 2 years well , there is nothing wrong with that as long as one of the people involved is not a child which you are , i am 8 years older than my guy but he is 19 and we are both consenting adults it is indecent ... (read in full...)
I need help to persuade my parents that my boyfriend and I won't have sex while we're alone for a week...
Q. I'm 16 and my boyfriend's parents are going away for a week. My boyfriend is staying at mine, but I'm on a mattress downstairs and he is in my room. It was a yes to him staying in my room but now they've changed their minds. I don't want to have ...
A. 4 January 2006: i would just like to point out that although a couple of people have said that it is legal for you and your boyfriend to have sex, it is in fact simply the age of consent so you still must have their permission, i am a mother of 2 and i know that i ... (read in full...)
How is my boyfriend going to know when he hits the right spot during sex?
Q. I have a great boyfriend that has been able to make me orgasm everytime manually. Now we're finally starting to have intercourse so how can he do it now? I know he has to find my spot, but how and when he does, how does he keep hitting it? He's ...
A. 4 January 2006: the best way to do this to get on top and find it yourself, but when hes in control it dosent have to just be your g spot, remember that your clit is a sure bet every time and men playing with your nipples can set women off, but when hes getting it ... (read in full...)
I want her back...so how do I show her how much I love her?
Q. my girlfriend has just ended our relationship because she says she dosn't love me like she should. how can i show her how much i love her and that we belong together. i want her back but dont know what to do. ...
A. 4 January 2006: hi , i wanted to tell you that i was i this situation once, i just couldnt let go, he said he couldnt be with me, but i couldnt accept it and felt if i could only proove how much i loved him , proove that we were meant to be together hed come round ... (read in full...)
I had unplanned sex with my girlfriend, but I'm not yet 14. She couldn't be pregnant, could she?
Q. Hi People, I am a 13 year old male who is almost 14. Recently (for about 2 months) I have been going out with this 16 year old girl. At first all we did was kiss, make-out and foreplay etc, but last night my parents were both at hen/stag nights ...
A. 4 January 2006: i wish i read this sooner as i think by now it must be too late for the morning after pill, but i will say it anyway as it looks like you are going to get yourself into trouble again,
the morning after pill is in no way an abortion....how it work... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 4 January 2006: why would he say in his emails that he thinks she is hot if he didnt even like her.
you have been together 2 years and in a loving trusting relationship it shouldnt be a problem to read each others emails if there is nothing to hide especially if y... (read in full...)
Him looking at porn affected me so badly...
Q. my bf and i have been together for almost two years and we click very well and make eachother laugh. we have sex about two times per week and it's passionate and good. problem is that he looked at porn once and i have a severe body image problem and ...
A. 4 January 2006: please ignore the message from male reader anon, you do not need to change your body image, unless you are unhealthily under or over wieght...there is always someone who will adore you and find you sexy the way you are and for what you are, all ... (read in full...)
Him looking at porn affected me so badly...
Q. my bf and i have been together for almost two years and we click very well and make eachother laugh. we have sex about two times per week and it's passionate and good. problem is that he looked at porn once and i have a severe body image problem and ...
A. 3 January 2006: my heart went out to you when i read this and just thought you might apprieciate hearing from someone who has been there and understands you, with the cutting yourself , i just wanted you to know that this is not uncommon, and people see it as a ... (read in full...)
He can change from being loving to angry...
Q. The other day, I was going through a difficult time and I turned to my partner. He was so good; loving, reassuring and I thought; he certainly is the man for me. Yesterday, due to other stresses, we had a bit of a row in a shop over somethin...
A. 3 January 2006: i was in a relationship like this, he literally seemed to be 2 differant people Jekyll and Hyde and the put downs too, i got very weak but it stopped when i noticed the put downs and anger were just getting so ridiculous i knew it couldnt be me, so ... (read in full...)
He can change from being loving to angry...
Q. The other day, I was going through a difficult time and I turned to my partner. He was so good; loving, reassuring and I thought; he certainly is the man for me. Yesterday, due to other stresses, we had a bit of a row in a shop over somethin...
A. 3 January 2006: i was in a relationship like this, he literally seemed to be 2 differant people Jekyll and Hyde and the put downs too, i got very weak but it stopped when i noticed the put downs and anger were just getting so ridiculous i knew it couldnt be me, so ... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 3 January 2006: i think having this kind of a relationship with another woman is cheating even without sex, do you feel threatened, if so then dont put up with it... (read in full...)
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