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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend, but I recently kissed another guy at a party and feel terrible about it and really regret it. My boyfriend dosent know and I dont want him to find out, but I feel incredibly guilty. If I tell him there is no doubt that he will break up with me. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): Well, above all you should probably be honest with your boyfriend. I dont believe that it is fair to him to not tell him. As another reader said- if he finds out from someone else, he will probably break with you for sure in a bad way. You could risk not telling him and things might be alright but you have to ask yourself this, "how would you feel if he did this to you"? Another reader also suspects that he is jeolous. If he will break with you over this I dont believe that means he is necessarily jealous. It might mean that he feels too betrayed and hurt by your inconsiderate action. Good relationships are built on honesty and trust, if you stray from this then dont expect it to work out.
A
female
reader, AgonyAuntsonEBAY +, writes (3 January 2006):
 Hi there.
An awkward thing has happened but well done for not having sex with the other guy. It happens! And it shouldn't. Well anyway, how would you feel if you found out your boyfriend had kissed someone else at a party? Angry, upset, guilty at not being at the party with you?
By not telling him, you are risking him finding out which would be a lot worse than telling him. Can you be certain that there is not a single person at the party who will know someone who knows you and your boyfriend and who might mention it?
Only you know your boyfriend well enough to make this decision.
From your comment about a certain break-up, it sounds either like he might be incredibly jealous (in which case get out while you can) or that this might not be the first time something like this has happened?
I know things will work out for both of you.
X
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A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (3 January 2006):
 I think you first need to forgive yourself, so that you dont carry around this incredible burden of guilt. You made a mistake, it was an innocent kiss, you regreted it, and you learned from it. If you tell your boyfriend, it will only make matters worse. I think your suffering was enough of a consequence.
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (2 January 2006):
 do you think he would be happier for you telling him?
some people just would prefer to carry on having never found out on the other hand it is his right to choose whether to be with you,knowing all the facts.
if you really regret it maybe he will forgive you.
do what you feel would be best for your boyfriend and your guilt
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