Like what
she writes?
... Add *ystify to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ystify a private message | | | *ystify's profile:i live in the uk , yep bad enough...but i seem to of had far too much misfortune than would be considered my fair share,well , "what dont kill you only makes you stronger" , and i want to share the strengh's i found. i will only ever advise from some sort of experience so will always be fronm the heart, i am married but my husband dosent like this site much, feels it is quite negative sometimes, i feel we need to look after our mental health, i have learnt alot through pschycology and being a mental health nusre, then training in law, i want to share with others.
|
|
How do I ask my boyfriend if he wants a threesome?
Q. hello, i am a 23 year old girl who has been with my boyfriend for 1 year and a month. we get along amazingly and have a trustful relationship. the problem (which really isnt a problem exactly) is that i want to spice up our sex life, by having a ...
A. 3 March 2006: if he is shy and conservative then maybe this wouldnt be the best idea, not all men like the idea of thier woman with someone else regardless of the gender of the third person and even if you could get over the image of him having sex with another ... (read in full...)
What do men want in a woman?
Q. hi, just a question for all the guys, what do men want in a women? is it all about looks or is it something else...
A. 1 March 2006: i think that when a woman goes out she has all the probs that a man has to gain a bloke and that a bloke holds within them to make or end a womans sexual misery, i am ia woman and have known and seen this, there is little difference in the man and ... (read in full...)
I always initiate sex and now he smells funny...could he be cheating?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. At the beginning of our relationship I used to have to beg him for sex and he still would not give it to me. He later said he just liked to look at porn a lot that is why he wouldn't have sex ...
A. 1 March 2006: maybe its because of his smell that he dosent wanna get down with you, (he probably thinks too much of you to share this with you!) i once had a female version of his prob and i would noway let my bloke near me...it embaressing!
still mention it t... (read in full...)
What is the difference between sex and making love??
Q. Simple question: What would you say is the difference between sex and making love? Thanks...
A. 1 March 2006: sex is the act of sexual intercourse sex can be between lovers , rape, a drunken mistake , abuse, or someone taking advantage of someone else , date rape etc..
making love, is when there is feelings involved when you connect with the other pers... (read in full...)
Me and my bf try to have sex but his penis wont go in!!
Q. I've tried to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time but his penis just won't go in! Is there something wrong with me or can this happen to anyone? I was really in the mood and i don't know what's going wrong, is it just that i'm nervous and ...
A. 1 March 2006: think about puting a tampon in... if your in the right frame of mind it will just slide in with the appropriate lubrication, without you will have nothing but probs, the same applys with sex really , you need to relax a little... (read in full...)
How will he view me if we have anal sex?
Q. I am in new relationship, we are very much in love and we're happy. The sex is good, it wasn't to begin with, which we discussed and now it's good and getting better all the time. However we recently discussed Anal sex and I'm worried now that If I ...
A. 1 March 2006: not all men will treat you differently after " the event" i have been in this situtuation with a couple of guys and niether of them casual relationships, i dont think it has much to do with love , either your after a few nights with someone and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me three times but now I've met someone who is really great...
Q. i am currently in a relationship. i met the guy when i was 14 i am now 18. he has cheated on me three times twice with my best friend and once with someone i didn't know. it hurt me alot. i cheated on him once but i was very drunk and i was only a ...
A. 1 March 2006: you just found an easy way outta the relationship with this guy who dosent respect you, the relationship with other guy mayor may not become something special but for now he is better for you and will give you the confidence to move on from the ... (read in full...)
Why is he putting his marriage at risk for this polish woman? Help me to understand.
Q. Please help. My husband did not show me any attention and i found out that my husband had a secret with his polish work colleague. She asked him to draw a picture of him, because he is an artist and he started to draw her from memory behind my back, ...
A. 1 March 2006: i really feel bad for you, the only way you will know the answer to your question is to talk to him, i dont understand why he says he felt sorry for her.
he should of been looking after you and your baby, i wouldnt trust this woman , as it does soun... (read in full...)
I may want children in the future but I can't with my girlfriend...
Q. my girlfriend is 47 and i'm 26. we love each other but i'm not sure if i want children. at the moment i don't but who knows in the future. to have children with her isn't an option. she wants me to move in with her and get engaged but this problem ...
A. 28 February 2006: why isnt children with your girlfriend and opition/ is it because she dosent want any? in which case id wiegh up what you are more willing to sacrifice and have a long talk with her about it, if it is because she has had the menopause and cant have ... (read in full...)
Two women! One likes sex... the other one doesn't. Who do I choose?
Q. hi ive been with my girlfriend for 10 years and we planned to buy a house and settle down together, the only problem was there was little or no sex, ive recently met someone and ive fallen for her and the sex is amazing. i could make a life with ...
A. 28 February 2006: leave them both but tell them both the truth like female anon says, your 10 year girl needs to know what youve done to her so she can make an informed choice to move on and start getting over you, the truth is you love niether of these women to ... (read in full...)
I am sick of being lied to about porn! Where are the men who 'forsake all others'??
Q. I was just wondering as i am considering leaving my man over his constant looking at pornographic images and other women lustfully if there are in fact any men out there that dont do this? Men who love thier woman and worship thier woman in a way th...
A. 27 February 2006: in my opinion you dont have to be conservative to feel bad about your partner looking at porn, i think the feelings are more about feeling replaced or cheated on or jealous , its a naturel reaction that people are entitled to feel.
its a shame that... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to watch porn like ALL the time!?
Q. Is it normal for guys to watch porno all the time? Should I be concern that he is constantlly watching porno videos?? I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now, but before we seriously started dating we had been seeing each other ...
A. 27 February 2006: alot of men who watch porn say that it is normal for men to watch it, but it is not a case of every man watches it and there are alot of men who disagree with it and find it imoral, i dont really think whether or not a guy id so called addicted that ... (read in full...)
Some thoughts on the 'porn' issue...the difference between fantasy and illusion.
Q. Everyone says that porn is for FANTASY, But the definition of fantasy is "a product of the imagination: ILLUSION" Which is where it should stay, in ones mind, not for their eyes. Fantasies are meant to be imagined not to actually be seen. If ...
A. 26 February 2006: i totally agree with what you are saying, my husband is young and gets horny almost constantly but he never even sorts it out himself let alone to porn because when he gets horny he says all he wants is me so he will come and get me, there is no ... (read in full...)
What age should you be to have sex the first time?
Q. Hey, I am wondering whether to have sex for the 1st time. I am 14 and so is my girlfriend. She has done it before and is kean for me to join her, but I am not entirely sure about what to do. Please help me! P.Enguin...
A. 23 February 2006: you say yourself you are not sure... if your not sure dont, you are still very young there is plenty of time , wait till you are sure... (read in full...)
How true is it that a man knows instinctively when he meets the woman he's going to marry?
Q. I really need some advice. I've been wondering, is it true a guy knows almost instantly when he meets his future wife? I've heard many stories from guys I know who have said they knew...and I was wondering how true people think this is....
A. 23 February 2006: i believe my husband knew , even if i didnt , i still cant get my head around why he pursued me so when he let so many slip away, i like to think i was his "soulmate" and we were meant to be , which is why we married and of course its hard work at ... (read in full...)
He claims that he downloads and trades porn "to practice hacking". I don't believe him...
Q. Been with my man for 2 years. We live together. Over the last six months I keep coming across porn. He was downloading it from the internet. Anyway I got upset at him, explained to him that it makes me feel ugly and I just don't like it being in...
A. 22 February 2006: i fell out of love with my guy once because of his lies and although its much better now i sometimes wonder about how it would of been if i had been in a better position to leave him at the time , i mean i still get upset now but 1 1/2 years on if ... (read in full...)
I hate feeling like I have to compete with my boyfriend's 6-year-old daughter
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. He has a 6 year old daughter that I seem to get jealous over. I feel really bad when I start feeling like that, I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of being second in his life, even tho...
A. 22 February 2006: you really should try and find some space in your heart for his little girl, she is someone he loves very much without taking away from his love to you, his loves for both of you are very differant, does he know you feel this way?
if you love him ... (read in full...)
I'm totally smitten, but the guy I'm with wants an "open" relationship. Do I have a choice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 20yr. old gay guy and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. I've absolutely fallen for this guy. The only thing is, he's 2 years younger than me and has not had much experience as I have. He mentioned wanting to have an ...
A. 22 February 2006: if you feel uncomfortable about this now , my experience would suggest you will probably feel much worse when you commit to each other and he stops the "open " relationship as you get closer the harder it will be to accept that he has been with ... (read in full...)
Bored with EVERYthing...
Q. I'm bored with life. I'm unhappy at work, I'm unhappy at school, I'm unhappy at home and I'm unhappy with my bf. Any suggestions on improving my life? Please help xXx...
A. 20 February 2006: maybe look into one of those things where you are paid to travel , like summer school camp reps etc...see a bit of the world , start a new hobby like suggested maybe going to the gym, dance etc, im like you and let so many opportunities slip away, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be losing interest in sex at the very time I'm ready to try new variations!
Q. My bf and I have been together almost 3 years. Originally our sex life was amazing. Recently (past 4 months) it hasn't. In fact, asked bf and he in uninterested in sex. At all. It's down to once a week. And personally i think that's only because he ...
A. 19 February 2006: maybe he is somewhat depressed, not because of sex butgenereally for some reason, it can have an effect on your libido, its worth looking into... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 19 February 2006: willy ,
i am not talking about what is sexy , yes a woman wearing a short skirt can be sexy...i already said that BUT! it is not sexual, sexual is implying sex! you do not need actual genitalia to impy sex ! and like i said you are inconsistant with... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 16 February 2006: willy honestly what is your problem...just leave people alone , the question was not hijacked by anti porn , the question was about porn!!! and people who are anti porn have a right to share what they feel with people with problems just as any pro ... (read in full...)
I don't want to attract my friends' boyfriends, so should I just act aloof and cold?
Q. Hey so I was wondering, what do I do about my friends boyfriends starting to like me? This has happened about 3 times (and NO I'm not a slut. I do not act nor dress like one. I'm quite conservative actually) but I do end up helping my friends with ...
A. 16 February 2006: are you helping your friends by getting close to thier boyfriends to relay info back to your friend? i ask as like anon says i dont understand why helping your friend would make thier boyfriends like you...
also are you giving them space to esta... (read in full...)
Tell me when to worry about porn...
Q. How often is too often for a man who's been in a relationship for three years to watch adult movies? When should girlfriends be concerned and when to break up...after watching porn do men wish they had more than they do...can it eventually lead to ...
A. 16 February 2006: id like to stand by femaleanon, as i would love to see the daty the men justifying this porn have to deal with walking into a newagents and seeing 99% naked men on the mag rack! artificial, plastic and airbrushed us women have to be strong enough ... (read in full...)
I want more that just a physical relationship with him but he is so young
Q. I am really confused at the moment. This guy and I have known each other all his life (our parents are best friends) but recently we have started to see each other as friends. I really like this guy; he is a breath of fresh air compared to other ...
A. 16 February 2006: gosh the age we settledowmn at seems to get older and older!
is that really a good thing?!
i was 24 when i settled down my husband was 17 and while he is fulfilled and positive i have so many doubts in our relationship as apposed to when i first f... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 16 February 2006: i try to never say this as i find it so hard myself but maybe he is just not the one for you, it shouldnt be this hard! the trust is well and truley gone , i think the only thing i could say is to set some boundaries in your relationship with him ... (read in full...)
My opinion is different. Why don't other people respect that?
Q. Why can't other peolpe respect my beliefs? I like to think that people are by nature kind and caring, but if I offer a different opinion then I feel I am shouted down. I don't have the same view-point as everyone, and I believe we are all a ...
A. 16 February 2006: hi,
in this world we are all faced with differing opinions, dont look upon this as a negative thing but more as an exploration , your opinions have opened people up, you are adding to the world , i wouldnt take it personnally , you haveyour opin... (read in full...)
I want to cross my legs...
Q. when i masturbate and reach orgasm i have a sudden urge to cross my legs and pull myself really hard til i feel oan overwhelming sense of relirf. i think it is weird but it happens all the time....
A. 16 February 2006: when i used to masterbate i found that i could only orgasm with legs locked and close together, experimentation over the years has made me understand em and my partner more to not have to use this but it got my foot in the door and i learned from ... (read in full...)
What is this yellowy-white stuff in my pants? It's got me worried
Q. Hi, I know this sounds really disgusting, but I need help. I'm thirteen years old and when I take my pants off at the end of the day, there's this thick yellowy-white stuff that's dried in my pants. This may sound normal to you, but sometimes it's ...
A. 16 February 2006: hi , i had the same yellowy discharge in my pant when i was your age around the time i started my periods (sometimes even green!) but with black fluff bits nall , and seemed to be loads of it! i was scared , imbararesed n all that but it stoped when ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm going to wet myself
Q. I know this may sound strange but anyway; I am a 21year old girl only recently had my first boyfriend. When we start to mess around in bed I get aroused, but then just as he is about to enter me I feel like I am gonna wet myself. Im scared this will ...
A. 16 February 2006: i used to have this prob when i first started out, and sometimes it did happen , i realised soon enough that i wasnt concentrating on me and what i like and feel while having sex and therefore not getting turned on enough, i think like wilywombat ... (read in full...)
A better position that isn't so uncomfortable..?
Q. Hey, I was wondering if maybe there was an ideal position to have anal sex... Every time I have tried to have it, it just doesnt work. It ends up hurting was too much to even try again. ...
A. 16 February 2006: lying on your sides facing the same way, its easier and you are free to move away when it gets too much, but at the end of the day if it hurts too much just dont do it!
its supposed to besomething you both enjoy, i would never do it despite a few ... (read in full...)
How many is too many sexual partners?
Q. How Many is Too Many?? I am just curious, I had the post earlier about peoples opinions/views on casual sex? That got me to thinking, how many would you think is too many for past number of sexual partners?? I mean I know there are average...
A. 16 February 2006: hi
well said anon,
it is the same for men and women....why should it be differant , i mean really, when you take out the fact that in many of todays societys that men like to take hold and say that its alright for them to enjoy sex and sleep ar... (read in full...)
Why does he need to go on a sun-sex-and-clubbing holiday with his mate when he has a girlfriend?
Q. my boyfriend is going on holiday to magaluf in the summer as far as i know this is a holiday for clubbing,sex and more clubbing. although i trust him i dont trust the friend his going with. this might sound like a silly question but whys he going on ...
A. 16 February 2006: you say he feels he has had a boring life , butif he is serious about you he would find excitement in you and in doing things and hols together at the end of the day if your partner (in a committed relationship) dosent want you there its because ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want kids until we are much older...how do I talk to him?
Q. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 25. He has said to me he wants to wait until we're 40 and he's 42 to have kids. When I said to him that he doesn't want children at all, he denied that, and said that he does want kids, just in later life when he's g...
A. 16 February 2006: i would say , that noone tends to know excatly what they are going to want from their lifr 20 years down the line, when i was 20-22 i always sid i couldnt bear having kids till i was 34 but 1 year later i was the proudest mum on the planet!
b... (read in full...)
What should I do about his awful idea to move in with him at this terrible hotel?
Q. My boyfriend of 8 years is working out of state and living in a Dump of a hotel because that is the only place available..He is in the Katrina Hurricane area of Louisiana USA..Well long story short he wants me and our son who is in Kindergarten to ...
A. 16 February 2006: hi,
i have two youngsons and one of the proudest things in my life is to be able to say from nothing i have a stable home for them in a good area in good surroundings and full of the things that they need and want.
you already say h is childish... (read in full...)
Should I have felt hurt over him seeing someone else and does our relationship still have a chance?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had been going out a year and a half. Things were great, then he told me that he wanted to join the army. I knew he wanted to do this before we met but nothing was ever said until this far in the relationship. It broke my heart. ...
A. 15 February 2006: it sounds like there is alot of pain to deal with here and the main reason you split is still looming , personnally i would move on , i think after you both been with other people and are now facing so much time apart the paranoia and jealously ... (read in full...)
If a guy wears a condom..should he still pull out before ejaculation to prevent pregnancy??
Q. If the guy wears a condom during sex should he pull out before he comes or can he stay inside me. Does this increase the chance of becoming pregnant?...
A. 15 February 2006: a condom is a barrier , as long as it dosent split then staying in is fine, the best thing to remember about condoms is to not use 2 , to not use certain lubes and to change condoms after he has ejaculated, then the only prob you should come accross ... (read in full...)
I hate mindgames..why do I always get into these type of relationships?
Q. I'm a single mum of a 6yr old.I've been separated 4 years. I have dated a few guys,Met a guy over xmas,dated for 6wks,then the games started.He waited a few days b4 asking me out again,then when I didnt hop to it, became sarcastic,smart etc+then let ...
A. 15 February 2006: well im not sure but it sounds like you might be playing along, i have always refused to enter mind games with a guy , always lay things out on the table if thats how you want things to be, and hopefully they will follow suit , if not just be one ... (read in full...)
I experience embarrassing noise when we have sex..does this happen to other couples?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if this happens with a lot of couples? I have been in a wonderful relationship for over 5 years and did not always have this problem however now nearly every time we have sex I am experiencing some embarrassing noises, this tends ...
A. 15 February 2006: hi, please remember that these noises would not be happening if it wasnt for what he was doing (or you both were doing) , its not like these noises just happen by themselves! that means that although it is your body making the noises it is only ... (read in full...)
Does casual sex equal loose morals?
Q. If all you want is sex when you go out and nothing more, does that mean you have loose morals? Male or female? Does just wanting a s**g with the opposite sex show a lack of self respect? Should they even respect you when all you want to do is screw ...
A. 15 February 2006: you cant demand respect of someone who dosent know you other than having had sex with you , respect is earned, but the same goes for them , would you really respect them?!
but if thats what you want to do then fine, just as long as everyone know... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of stretch marks?
Q. Im expecting at the moment, and i have a one year old. So my stomache is coverd in stretch marks and its maing me feel really un sexy for my long term partner. I wanted to know if there is any women that have the same problem or is there anyone that ...
A. 15 February 2006: stretchmarks may seem awful to us but to our husbands and partners they generally are not , , i think alot of men see our bodys as even more amazing after carrying thier child, my husband loves every strcth mark on my body! and that goes for every ... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 4 January 2006: why would he say in his emails that he thinks she is hot if he didnt even like her.
you have been together 2 years and in a loving trusting relationship it shouldnt be a problem to read each others emails if there is nothing to hide especially if y... (read in full...)
Is my flirting, chatting, emailing, girl's-home-visiting boyfriend, cheating?
Q. been with my boyfriend for 2 years, found some emails from him to another women he is doing a class with, there is alot of flirting in these emails, such as him saying how he finds her hot, there was also one email from her saying that she had a ...
A. 3 January 2006: i think having this kind of a relationship with another woman is cheating even without sex, do you feel threatened, if so then dont put up with it... (read in full...)
| *ystify's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ystify has
added them and they have added *ystify!
|
