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... Send *SA a private message | | | *SA's profile:I'm a professional dreamer and believer.. that love is worth fighting for. I believe in giving chances, especially to the one least worthy. We may be disappointed in the outcome and think we've wasted that chance, but you never know, somewhere down the road, your love may be remembered. Never give up on someone and never give up on a relationship... not until you've tried and tried and tried again.
True love never comes easy... it must be fought for and worked on. Hold on to your dreams and believe in love... it will take you far!
I've only been a member of this community for about two years. I truly love and appreciate all the members and their insight. This place is awesome!
When I first joined this community I was heart broken over a guy who chose to cut contact with me over something silly. Thanks to a special member, ShareBear, who stayed with me every step of the way, I was able to get over the heart break and love myself again.
Now, when I have a chance, I come back to help with questions and from time to time post a question of my own too! |
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How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 16 November 2014: In my opinion, you should NEVER use an ultimatum on a guy. You can talk to him, tell him how you feel about the situation, and suggest a compromise. NEVER an ultimatum.
First and foremost, you need to find out if this guy likes you in the same way/... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same since he admitted to a threesome
Q. What would you do/feel if you had a friend for whom you had feelings. You had started to get close physically and emotionally. Plans were made to meet up (we're living far apart now). But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and ...
A. 13 November 2014: Have you met this guy before? How can you be physical if you've never met?
This is something I think you will need to take time to think about, digest, and decide whether you are accepting of being with someone who's been in a threesome.
Often... (read in full...)
What are the chances? Is it really possible for a man to be addicted to a woman sexually?
Q. Hello everyone. I have a question. Maybe everybody can give their view point. Is it possible for a man to be sexually addicted to a woman? For example, your boyfriend says he loves you but is having sex with another woman on the side becaus...
A. 12 November 2014: Don't ever believe it if your man tells you that he loves you but is addicted to another woman for sex! LOL!!
Men may be attracted to certain sex positions, techniques, role play, etc.. If he truly loves you, he will want to experience it with YOU.... (read in full...)
How can I get close to my co worker? I have a crush on him. Do I risk it and make a move?
Q. I have a crush on a co-worker. I flirt just enough to not make it awkward. I want to ask him out but I can't seem to read him. My office is small, so if I put myself out there everyone will know and it will be uncomfortable if he turns me down. Do I...
A. 12 November 2014: This is the best time of the year to come up with every excuse possible. Ask him for shopping tips, go black Friday shopping with you, Xmas shopping with you, ask him for advice on holiday events, meals etc.. find a common interest and build on ... (read in full...)
In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you?
Q. This is an age old question but I would like to poll a question. In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you? (Note that it's a one-sided love. You may care for the other person but I am referring to ...
A. 12 November 2014: I honestly feel it needs to be mutual... but love can be shown differently. For example, the woman may be the one cooking, cleaning, etc but the man will see that she is tired and gives her a massage at the end of the day.
If you really just want... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting or overpossessive? Should I give him some time or just move on?
Q. Dear cupids. I love a guy.We met online he is from pakistan nd am an indian. Initially we were friends then one day he proposed me that he wants to marry me , the other day he said that he will think about me but hes not doing any promise as hes not ...
A. 12 November 2014: It is a nice feeling to meet someone online, click, and feel that you have found someone special who thinks the same of you. The wonders of the internet and how it's able to connect souls. This all should be a positive and happy thing. He should m... (read in full...)
Do I keep this online LDR going or ...
Q. So there's this boy.. And it's probably funny to people how we met, but it was unexpected to happen the way things did. We actually, met over Xbox! and it started w/ us just Playing a game together and we added each other then always played ...
A. 12 November 2014: Babalou nailed it! It is a sweet experience you are going through now and I suggest you continue your friendship with this guy. Don't think too much about being in a relationship or love or your future etc. Just enjoy what you two have now. Con... (read in full...)
I feel he is almost trying to control me and keep me on a leash while he makes up his mind if I'm "worthy" enough for him.
Q. So my ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. We're long distance, had disagreements on a lot of things that we couldn't compromise on and decided to end it. Since then we've kept in contact and at times it feels like we're still together. The idea of ...
A. 10 November 2014: My advice would be to move on. Let him go. Stop sitting around waiting for him to make up his mind whether he wants to work things out with you.
You are right, if he still doesn't know whether he wants to be back in a relationship with you afte... (read in full...)
Am I breaking up someone's relationship?
Q. I have been good friends with this guy for just over a year, we met through mutual friends. we started messaging each other a couple of months ago just friendly conversation. However he started to tell me that he liked me and wanted to be with me ...
A. 6 November 2014: I've been in your shoes just a year ago. Exact same situation. I questioned him time and time again. He explained time and time again why their relationship was not working and why the feelings for that girl faded. Why he wanted to move on. Stil... (read in full...)
I am dying for my boyfriends attention.
Q. I know this sounds self-centered, and maybe it is. But I am dying for my boyfriends attention. We do not have a bad relationship, never fight or anything. But he isn't very romantic at all.. I love to cuddle and give gifts and am very interested ...
A. 6 November 2014: Well, you did mention that he does show you affection but not 'often enough'.. my question is how often would you like it to be? Is your definition of 'often' too much for him? We have to understand that just because he doesn't show as much affectio... (read in full...)
His ex best girl friend is back on the scene- should I be worried
Q. Hello people- another question for you. Been with my boyfriend now For a year and a couple of months- we live together at his mums house and are very happy until yesterday- he has a week of work (i don't) and he went to a shopping centre yesterda...
A. 31 October 2014: Sometimes we need to slow down, stop, think, then react. When you came home and saw him on the phone with the girl, your mind immidiately went to think about the worst scenario possible, you get upset about the situation, your words are harse, and ... (read in full...)
We got back together but the spark just isn't there
Q. We've been together for 5 years and we lose that spark we had before. We almost argue and fight all the time and we broke up 3 months before and now getting back together again. But things have changed and so do our feelings. He said he doe...
A. 30 October 2014: Why did you get back together with him? Do you love him?
Those are two very important questions that you will need to think about and answer honestly.
It's not uncommon for relationships to 'lose that spark', especially after 5 years of being to... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I'd rather have a piece of jewellery than chocolates as a present, and not sound ungrateful?
Q. So, on my birthday my boyfriend (of about 9 months) bought me chocolates, along with taking me out for dinner and dessert. I enjoyed it, afterwards we spent some time together on the beach and I acknowledge he did spend a fair amount of money on...
A. 30 October 2014: If your wish is to keep a sentimental token from him, then why not suggest exchanging gifts this Christmas and tell him the theme of the gift must be something you can carry around with you. Guys can't read our minds and are often not as attentiv... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about ignoring my family. How can I explain that I want a relationship and to see my family?
Q. Hello all... Briefly, i am in a new relationship.We have been together a month, met on the internet. Yes we had sex soon!too soon, i;m 24, hes 25. He lives in london. He is lovely! we went to wales last weekend and man treated me like a queen,...
A. 26 October 2014: Personally I don't see anything wrong with wanting to spend a weekend together once a month. I'd even look forward to it, since it's a Long Distance Relationship and you don't see each other on a daily basis as normal couples do.
You'd still have... (read in full...)
I like my job but my boss and I just don't seem to click. Suggestions to improve things?
Q. My boss is very young (24) and new to the boss job (but not new to the workplace, shes worked here 3.5 yrs) shes good at her job, is lucky to have it at her age, and I dont dislike her but wondet why shes so cliquey, her age maybe? shes supe...
A. 20 October 2014: Don't worry about it. You seem to be thinking up too many possibilities of why she is not being more friendly etc etc. Maybe it's cuz she's new? Maybe although she is manager level, deep inside she still feels scared to approach new employees or ... (read in full...)
How long is the average time people date before getting engaged?
Q. How long is average for people to date before the get engaged? I am curious because one of my friends met a guy and married within a year. One of my friends got engaged after a year and married within another six months. Another got engaged three ...
A. 20 October 2014: There is really no standard and it depends solely on the couple and their relationship.
If it is your plan to be engaged or married within the next few years, communicate that with your boyfriend. Tell him that is your wish and see what he says... (read in full...)
I'm worried about boyfriend using an old flings photos to get off on
Q. Hi Just looking for advice. My boyfriend once admitted to me that he occasionally (one every week or two) masturbates to a handful of girls he knows - one of these girls he slept with a couple of times a few years ago. But they've known each oth...
A. 20 October 2014: Is this your only problem? That he enjoys masturbating to other girl's photos?
You really need to think about it and consider whether you have other issues with this guy and if they can be worked out.
I personally cannot and will not accept m... (read in full...)
I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.
Q. So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...
A. 20 October 2014: You can't bully or manipulate a man into opening his heart and telling you every thing he is thinking or feeling. Some men, like your boyfriend, may not feel as comfortable about expressing his thoughts and feelings as you are. There's nothing wrong ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend's recent behaviour betray a guilty conscience?
Q. Am hoping to get some advice about my relationship. There is a saying that cheaters often give themselves away if you listen to them. Well, my girlfriend went to talking the other night and randomly said I love you. Nothing strange about saying I...
A. 20 October 2014: The problem is you analyze too much! Relax!
If you're wondering why she didn't open your card.. ask her! When you ask her why she says 'I Love You', and she tells you why, accept the answer! and why are you even asking her why she says 'I Love You'... (read in full...)
I can't forgive my boyfriend's spinelessness
Q. I am not normally one for holding grudges, but I just can't seem to see a way past this. Last year my boyfriend whom I've had a long distance relationship with for four years, took me to his hometown to meet his closest friends. They were all ok, ...
A. 20 October 2014: This "friend" already ruined your visit to your boyfriend's hometown. This "friend" has already betrayed and hurt your boyfriend. How much more negativity are you going to allow this "friend" to bring to you and your boyfriend?
OK, your boyf... (read in full...)
How do I let him know he needs to step up as a man and woo me?
Q. BIG DILEMMA. My LDR boyfriend who has been chatting me up non-stop everyday is coming to visit me next month. His plans according to him is to hopefully meet my parents, discuss his plans to relocate and scout around my town for business and futu...
A. 8 October 2014: My first concern is, isn't it too soon to talk about relocating? You mentioned this is only your second date.. would it be wiser to give it some time before having him relocate?
In regards to planning places to visit, it really isn't important who ... (read in full...)
How long does it take to forgive cheating and rebuild trust?
Q. My bf cheated twice and he has slowly made changes since then and im on guard but sometimes I feel like he is quick to jump on me about things I do wrong yet I had so much patiences towards him and his wrong doing. Am I wrong for feeling like im not ...
A. 2 October 2014: I'm not going to advise you to break up with your boyfriend based on the once a cheater always a cheater rule. I do believe people will change. I would advise however that, although it was very awesome of you to have forgiven him and showed s... (read in full...)
The guy I like has an obvious type, and I'm not it. Should I ask him out anyway?
Q. I fancy someone I know, but his taste in girls is so different to me I'm wondering if it's worth going for it or if I should leave it. He's not my usual "type" (I usually date guys who are quite similiar to me, but he's the stereotypical very ...
A. 2 October 2014: I'm curious, he seems so different than you - what do you like about him?
Then, seeing that he is so different than your 'type', yet you still are interested in him, what makes you think that he may not be interested in you?
Sometimes although... (read in full...)
Living with my husband's family is putting stress on our marriage!
Q. Hi Aunties,My relationship with my DH went from us being happy and ignorning all of the conflict around us, to him and I arguing about his parents. We live with his parents and sisters so we can save money for a house of our own. His father holds ...
A. 2 October 2014: It's two separate issues here. You both decided to move to live with his parents to save money.. if you feel that you are not accomplishing your goal, then I suggest you make plans with your Fiance/Boyfriend to look for another place which would ... (read in full...)
Should I Be Annoyed With My Boyfriends Mum?
Q. I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum. My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine. I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. ...
A. 8 September 2014: Congrats on your baby!! What a precious gift you have!
You are a mom now... time to start thinking for others. How will your hubby feel if he knew of your dislike for his mom? ... and over what? A wallpaper on a phone?
Be creative and think of... (read in full...)
Turning 21 Soon And Never Had A Boyfriend
Q. I'm 20, turning 21 very soon, I've never had a boyfriend and it's really depressing me. Any advice would be useful. I'm reasonably physically attractive, take care of my appearance, and have had my fair share of genuine offers from guys to go ...
A. 8 September 2014: Congrats and happy early 21st Birthday! Look on the bright side and what an awesome time it is to NOT have a boyfriend!! Take a trip to Las Vegas with some friends, dance, party and have a blast! Make friends with some guys, chat, chill, even make ... (read in full...)
I asked him not to see his ex but he did
Q. A few weeks back my boyfriend of over a year told me he was going to see his ex girlfriend because her sister was unwell and she'd asked for support. Theyve been broken up approximately 2 and a half years. My boyfriend and his ex had a bad break up. ...
A. 8 September 2014: I agree with the previous two posters (WiseOwlE and Aidan). They do have valid points. However, I have a feeling you are not going to break up with him based on this incident.
Here is my two cents. If this happened to me, I will choose to allow my b... (read in full...)
LDR Newbie needs your help
Q. Any LDR 411s on here? I am new to LDR and think I may have found the one guy that makes my heart melts and understand me. I am the kind of person that hated LDR and preached against it but said if I ever get into one I first want to make sure one...
A. 8 September 2014: First of all, congrats on finding a guy who understands you and melts your heart. Also, Kudos for taking a leap of faith and trying LDR. You appear to have a lot of confidence in yourself, which may work out well for your LDR, because the last thing ... (read in full...)
Love ex-gf but she is dating new guy
Q. Hi, everyone. My ex girlfriend broke up with me in December because she didn't think I loved her enough. I did love her a lot, but we were both being immature -- she was acting passive aggressively and I wasn't communicating. She texted me once ...
A. 22 August 2014: You had your chance.. it's too late now. She found someone else and wants to give that relationship a chance.
Don't stand in her way.. if you truly love her, you'd want to see her happy, even if the person by her side, making her happy isn't you.... (read in full...)
Neither of us is ready for parenting, so why do I keep thinking about having his child?
Q. Before I begin, I would really love it if nobody judged me or made fun of me. Because I know my feelings are wrong but I just want to know what is making me feel this way. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for almost 8 months ...
A. 20 August 2014: It's perfectly normal, especially if you are with a man you truly love. It's fine to think about it, talk about it, plan it, look forward to it, but most important is that you know you are not yet ready for it and are taking preventive measures so ... (read in full...)
Can I still pull it off with my childish underwear?
Q. I've never been sexually active with someone else before and never saw a need to impress. I'm having sex soon and don't know if my cotton polka dotted panties and plain bras will pull off the seductive look. I'm low on cash so can't go buying ...
A. 20 August 2014: He won't care.. and if he wants you in sexier lingerie, he will take the initiative to go shopping for/with you.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He said he would help, we had sex, and now, no help!
Q. A fee days ago I asked my ex boyfriend if I could borrow some money from him to invest in my business. He is a millionare so I knew he could spare it. We broke up 2 years ago and we hadn't spoken in 5 months since the last time we met up- mainly ...
A. 19 August 2014: Today is only Tuesday... give him a few days. It's not like you're asking to borrow $20 which he can easily pull out of his wallet for you. Often times, most of our money is kept in an investment account and it needs to be transferred over, that ... (read in full...)
I want to get married soon but don't know how to tell my mum
Q. How do I tell my mum I want to get married soon? So I've been seeing my bf for a year now. He's really sweet and totally into me and wants us to get married in a few years soon. I love him and we make each other happy. He's now ready a...
A. 19 August 2014: I wouldn't tell her you want to get married right away...
Introduce your BF to your mum first... let them meet a few times and get to know each other first, then tell her that the both of you are serious and planning on getting married.
Also, i... (read in full...)
I want to take up playing the drums like my dad but my mom will refuse because dad wasn't really the best role model for us. What do I do?
Q. This is an unusual question but- I'm a 15 year old girl and I want to take up playing the drums. I've been thinking about this for a while so it's not a 'spur of the moment ' thing. The only problem is that my dad is a professional drummer and he ...
A. 19 August 2014: I think you should talk to your mum. Tell her how you feel and your interest in playing the drums and how you have been thinking about it for a while and is serious about it. Your mum will have to understand that no matter what your dad did, you are ... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but then he'll just leave me and high and dry. What's the deal?
Q. So Aunts and Uncles, here it goes. I met my best friends brother while he vacationed down here in Texas from New Jersey. We got on well, I thought. But he wouldnt make eye contact. Wouldnt stand close to me or even walk by me. He took my son and ...
A. 19 August 2014: I don't want to question your intentions with these men.. but I still am not quite sure what you're trying to accomplish with each of them.
My suggestion is still the same as my earlier post - concentrate on the relocation, your son, being inde... (read in full...)
I think he likes me but then he'll just leave me and high and dry. What's the deal?
Q. So Aunts and Uncles, here it goes. I met my best friends brother while he vacationed down here in Texas from New Jersey. We got on well, I thought. But he wouldnt make eye contact. Wouldnt stand close to me or even walk by me. He took my son and ...
A. 18 August 2014: I'm confused. Who are you rooming with? The guy who visited you and took you and your son out? Or this new guy you've been talking to on Facebook?
I think it's too soon to think anything. You both had a good day out during his vacation and kept thin... (read in full...)
A guy I work with doesn't get nervous when he talks to me. Does that mean he isn't as attracted to me?
Q. Ok there's this guy I work with a few years older to myself, who is also single, who I get the impression may be attracted to me. He is only at my work place twice a month - he works at another store. He always tries to talk to me and I feel he ...
A. 18 August 2014: I find that in a business/professional environment, people want to be friendly to co-workers. They will find something both have in common (in your case - garlic) and use that as a bridge between two people. This may not necessarily mean he is ... (read in full...)
Flirting and Dating Ends Too Soon
Q. I have this pattern in my relationships that's driving me crazy and really upsetting me. I will meet a guy either randomly, through an activity I'm involved in or in our group of aquaintences. So we'll start off flirting and it's fun and I like it. ...
A. 18 August 2014: I suggest not making things so easy for the guy. If he wants you to be his GF, he must ask. If you don't want to move too fast, you must learn to say no. "No, I don't want to go straight to your house, I want to go to dinner and the movies first." ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with rumors at work regarding a girl that I'm only friends with?
Q. At the store I work at, there is a girl that usually works the same shifts I do. She is 18 and has a boyfriend. I am friendly to everyone so naturally everyone is friendly with me, which is fine. It feels like more with this girl. While she is f...
A. 14 August 2014: For me, it's real simple - if I'm so bothered by what other co-workers think and rumors spread; which I assume you are bothered.. at least bothered enough to write a post here. I'd know to keep my distance from her. If you want to be polite and ... (read in full...)
He tells me he wants a future with me but he already has a girlfriend!
Q. I'm inlove with a guy who already have a girlfriend and he told me he want to have the future with me a should give him sometime. When I ask him if he still love her his answer is yes.so I don't know what to do becuase I real love him and when the ...
A. 14 August 2014: Actions speak louder than words. If he truly wants to be with you, he will know to break it off with his girlfriend. If he doesn't, then all he is telling you are lies. I wouldn't believe a word he says unless he can back it up with his actions.
G... (read in full...)
I know it's not healthy and I'm trying to move on but it's human to want revenge!
Q. So I'd been dating a girl on and off for 4 months but it became a long distance relationship due to university over summer. We'd talk every day and I'd visit as often as I could - until we had (what I thought was) a small argument. Turns out right ...
A. 14 August 2014: Anger / Resentment is a phase in the emotions we go through in a break up. It is OK.. go through with the feelings as THINK (only THINK) of all the karma and bad things you wish will happen to her. Think about it as often as you want... but I know ... (read in full...)
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