A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this sounds self-centered, and maybe it is. But I am dying for my boyfriends attention. We do not have a bad relationship, never fight or anything. But he isn't very romantic at all..I love to cuddle and give gifts and am very interested in his life. I compliment him frequently, and give him my undivided attention... He does these things to me but is not nearly as often and is not as affectionate.Recently I posted a new, nice photo on facebook (it's usually of my dog, lol) 45 friends liked it and commented on how nice it was and I thanked them... But really I posted it to get some sort of reaction or comment from him.Nothing. It hurt my feelings. I know he saw it because he is on Facebook all the time!Maybe I'm being trivial, but I just wish he would pay more attention tome and make me feel as important and he is to me.Thoughts?
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female
reader, Miss Lou +, writes (7 November 2014):
It sounds like you are not getting much attention from him even though you openly express your love and affection for him. Guys need space. Sometimes, as hard as it is for us, they distance themselves. I am a woman and I can't fully get into the workings of a man's mind, but in my experience, backing off and giving a man space gives him an incentive to initiate getting close to you. If that does not work, be open and honest with him about your feelings of neglect. If he does not accommodate, consider taking a break from the relationship. Face to face (in person) quality time is much more important than Facebook!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 November 2014):
 Not sure if posting on facebook is his way of giving attention. If he comments on other pages but not yours, it could be because he sees himself as a dear person to you, and is above your common friends. To wish a boyfriend to be more affectionate is reasonable, but to be dying for it is something else. I would consider if he has enough time for you, or take you as priority. Facebook can be a petty issue but I see that in your relationship you are missing something. In general women want to feel like princesses. They usually want long term, forever kind of love. Maybe in this relationship you feel like you are just tagging along and he's just dealing with it.
I would really strive to have a man who does all the nice things without any prompting. It's a frustrating thing to do things to get attention, act cold to get a reaction, rouse his energy level when it's lukewarm. It's not like you can rationalize your boyfriend and say he's the strong silent type, he's practical and about the big picture. It seems like you are the one doing all the effort. You always wonder if he loves you, or if you disappear would he even notice.
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A
female
reader, Princess_008  +, writes (6 November 2014):
He is taking you for granted! I agree with the first reply. You step aback for a few days and stop giving him attention. Try ignoring him and i assure you he would be curious what happened and he'll be after you. After that you sit down and talk to him. Explain him that's how exactly you felt when he was not paying you much attention!
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Well, you did mention that he does show you affection but not 'often enough'.. my question is how often would you like it to be? Is your definition of 'often' too much for him?We have to understand that just because he doesn't show as much affection as often as you wish for him to, doesn't mean he doesn't love you on the same level. Just because he is not giving as much as you want him to give, doesn't mean he's not giving his all. Each person is different. Each person shows love and affection differently.I find what works for me is to just ask. I'm pretty straight forward about it. For example, I often post quotes and pictures on social media of my boyfriend and I. He never posted any for me.. so one time I asked.. told him it was time for him to post something. It took him a few days, but he did post something. It wasn't something super romantic, just something silly and funny! Try telling him what you want.. it might work ;) Best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 November 2014):
 Actually, I have the oldest thought in the romance playbook.
The one tried-and-tested way to get more attention in a relationship like yours is to pull away. In your case, he doesn't have to make any effort because you are making enough effort for the both of you.
In his mind, why should he be all romantic when he has everything he wants and more?? You're doing all the gift-giving, the pursuing, the attention, the compliments, and nurture to spare.
The moment you back off, the moment you become mysterious, the moment you stop being so available to him, and you'll see a change so profound in him that he'll go from complacent to very concerned about your feelings for him. And if he doesn't, that means the relationship was in the coffin.
Not to scare you, but 90% of the time in your case, he will respond with lavish attention the moment you get a life outside of him and stop being so available and *there* for him.
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