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... Send *SA a private message | | | *SA's profile:I'm a professional dreamer and believer.. that love is worth fighting for. I believe in giving chances, especially to the one least worthy. We may be disappointed in the outcome and think we've wasted that chance, but you never know, somewhere down the road, your love may be remembered. Never give up on someone and never give up on a relationship... not until you've tried and tried and tried again.
True love never comes easy... it must be fought for and worked on. Hold on to your dreams and believe in love... it will take you far!
I've only been a member of this community for about two years. I truly love and appreciate all the members and their insight. This place is awesome!
When I first joined this community I was heart broken over a guy who chose to cut contact with me over something silly. Thanks to a special member, ShareBear, who stayed with me every step of the way, I was able to get over the heart break and love myself again.
Now, when I have a chance, I come back to help with questions and from time to time post a question of my own too! |
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Should I confront him or should I wait 2 more weeks?
Q. I met this guy abt 2 years ago, and we hung out a few times but unfortunately I wasnt ready for relationship so I let him go. Now recently we have talked again, and he told me he still liked me and that he would love to be my bf and he e...
A. 11 March 2015: I believe talk is cheap. A man will SHOW you how interested he is in you. You will be able to tell from his actions (i.e how often he calls, visits, little things he does for you) how serious he is about you and being with you.
I would hold off on m... (read in full...)
Our lack of communication is undermining our relationship
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now. I love him yet I constantly find myself questioning if he loves me as much as I do towards him. We have gone through so many fights and a couple of breakups within the course of our ...
A. 8 February 2015: Were you friends with your boyfriend prior to being in a relationship with him? I always believe that friendship before relationship establishes a good foundation for your future together. Being friends first, talking, getting to know each other, ... (read in full...)
She says I have lost her trust, I say she is being over dramatic!
Q. my girlfriend says I've lost her trust and she wants to end things but I think she's just being over dramatic and refusing to give me another chance. My old flame called me to say could we be friends again so I met her for a drink didn't tell my gf ...
A. 8 February 2015: The ex-factor is very sensitive and should always be treated with caution and extra caution. In about 90% of all relationships, there is no room for "friendship" with the EX. Maybe, just maybe, some point down the road after you're married and had ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll bore him to death! How do I make myself more interesting?
Q. I'm seeing this guy,, I know him very well now, and I'm pretty sure it's a relationship, or about to be. He's mentioned to other's I'm his girl, his friends call me his girl or he is my man or that I am with him. They treat us like a couple. Well, ...
A. 5 February 2015: Your life seems very normal to me.. not boring at all. This is what most people's schedules are like.
Mine and my boyfriend's schedule is similar to your's. Work, come home, eat, chores, sleep. It's really boring.. But my boyfriend and I talk all ... (read in full...)
How do I assure my girlfriend that I'm not cheating?
Q. My girlfriend constantly accuse me of cheating. It started a year ago, when we split for a few months. I dated another girl and she and I hung out often. I genuinely liked her, but never planned on settling down with her. Fast forward, my gir...
A. 30 January 2015: It's funny how guys wonder why their GFs don't trust them but never pause long enough to think or realize what it is that they've done to cause such an reaction from their GFs.
Trust is built and earned. Trust is gained by being together as a coup... (read in full...)
My ex managed to hurt me twice and I'm really having a hard time understanding why
Q. Last year me and my ex broke up, I had put undue stress on the relationship which was completely ruined and looking back, it was the right thing for it to be over. However, he just blocked me out of his life, one day he said he'd speak but then he ...
A. 30 January 2015: You're not going to want to hear this - but this IS how it should be.
Things weren't working out for the both of you, you broke it off and went no contact. That IS how it should be. He shouldn't contact you anymore, just as you shouldn't cont... (read in full...)
He has 4 kids by different women! How do I ask him about this? How to continue to love someone with so many children?
Q. Dear cupid. Im 35 years old with no kids and never been married. Just met a guy i love so much, i went into his facebook account just to find out about before i can be serious about our relationship. To my suprise he has 4 kids with different woman ...
A. 20 January 2015: Did you meet this guy online? Chatting via Facebook? Or have you met in person and dating in real life? How do you know that his kids don't get along and he prefers one to the other? Did he talk/tell you about it or are you getting this from his ... (read in full...)
What is "smothering" and how do you not do it in a relationship?
Q. Hey there My question is divided into 4 parts. I was wondering what actually is smothering your partner? Why it is bad and how to differentiate between smothering and being available for her? Also, I understand that still most women wait on...
A. 20 January 2015: I personally believe the term 'smoothering' is used only in a relationship where feelings are not mutual. There are days when my boyfriend and I are together all day long, we text, talk non-stop. Neither of us feels like it's smoothering or losing ... (read in full...)
He talks a lot but never does what he says he will! I have to do all the planning.
Q. I am quite a bit distraught about my husband. We are married for 6 month, were dating for 2 years and then 1 year after proposal. He is a good man, good natured, generally happy. What I worry about is several of his qualities that started t...
A. 20 January 2015: Haha I once had a boyfriend that is like that. If you were with him for 2 years before marriage, there's no way you didn't see this. Maybe you've always taken the responsibility and did every thing for him. Maybe you spoiled him and now he relies o... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend pretending to be single again?
Q. My long distance boyfriend got really distant for weeks until lately, we have talked about it and everything is back to normal. However, few things changed. He doesn't post anything about us on instagram like he used to, he just posts random things ...
A. 19 January 2015: I think you're putting too much emphasis on Instagram/social media. Please don't base what he posts online as signs of how he feels about you or your relationship. Instead of being upset about it, why not use a bit of girl magic? Say: "Honey, let's ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't we stay friends? LDR break-up. He says the trust was broken.
Q. Hi guys. I just need to understand something from an outsiders perspective. So I met a guy before Christmas online and we got on great. Only thing was he lived over 100 miles away and I did wonder if this could be a problem. However, I wen...
A. 19 January 2015: I understand you fears and worries, because I'm in a LDR too. All your doubts and questions, I once had them too.. actually sometimes I still do have them. So everything you were feeling is normal. You had two choices, to stay in the relationship ... (read in full...)
I unfriended his new Gf. Should I call him and question why my ex suddenly blocked me? We were on speaking terms.
Q. Dear Cupids, I was coping ok after finishing with a guy I had a quick fling with and we remained friends on Facebook for a bit. However, I unfriended his current partner for obvious reasons and now he has blocked ME!! - and I can't cope!! I was ...
A. 13 January 2015: I agree with everyone - you need to let it go and move on.
He has a new girlfriend. He moved on and is now focusing on his new relationship. He did the right thing to unfriend you.
If you really love him and care for him, let him go. Be content ... (read in full...)
My ex vs. my LDR -- can you love two people at once?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my LDR for eight months. I love him and our sex life is amazing. We have lots in common and always have fun together. Sometimes though, I feel like he hasn't got much time for me. We don't get to see each other t...
A. 12 January 2015: My suggestion would be to keep your distance with your ex. You already know your love fizzled.. been together 6 years and haven't really moved forward... plus you know you don't love him like that. What you have is only history. Let it remain ... (read in full...)
I'm mad at my BF for not getting in touch with me when he got back from a trip. Am I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend went away to visit family out of town for four days. He turns his iPhone off anytime he is in a foreign country not to incur extra charges so we do not speak on the phone. He sent me one email to tell me he had arrived safely an...
A. 11 January 2015: OP, I read your follow up. I totally, 100% agree with Maverick494's response.
Your boyfriend gave you his explanation. His previous exes never requested it.. BUT since you do, he is trying very hard to do as you wish and make it work for you both... (read in full...)
Torn between taking him back, and questioning whether anything's going to change
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I am looking for some advice please because I'm so confused at the moment. Basically, I had been with my now ex boyfriend for over 5 years. We have always had our own lives and interests outside of the relationship, bu...
A. 11 January 2015: Although I think you have a very good perspective of a relationship, I honestly believe that it's not going to move forward the way you'd wish for it to. Being able to be in a relationship, yet trusting each other enough to go out seperate... (read in full...)
I'm mad at my BF for not getting in touch with me when he got back from a trip. Am I over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend went away to visit family out of town for four days. He turns his iPhone off anytime he is in a foreign country not to incur extra charges so we do not speak on the phone. He sent me one email to tell me he had arrived safely an...
A. 11 January 2015: I understand you miss him lots during the time he was away and hope that he would text or call you immediately when he arrived home.
Did you ask him to call you as soon as his plane landed?
There's lots of possibilities why he didn't call you. Mig... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend's new guy snooped on her facebook and found our hookup messages.
Q. SOOOOOO here's the thing. Roughly 6 months ago my gf and I broke up. we had been together for 3 years and best friends for years before. We had just been fighting for a few months because the struggles of life (bills school etc) had gotten to us. ...
A. 5 January 2015: Cutting ties, walking away from a relationship whether it be friendship or love is never easy.
He banned her, but it was her choice to accept his ban.
So just suck it up like a man, accept her decision, and move on.
It will only get easier day b... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend is cheating, how do I handle it?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months has been acting strange he used to reply to my messages within an hour at the most but usually straight away but now he keeps coming up with stupid reasons like his phone needs charging I can charge my phone and still reply ...
A. 4 January 2015: Having a profile on a dating website does not constitute as him cheating. You just need to ask him. See what his response is. A lot of times the thing that breaks a relationship is you go assuming things when it's not true. He hasn't done anything ... (read in full...)
Do I have a lot to learn or is he trying to take advantage of me?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we have been dating for under a year. This is the first time I have dated an older guy. We don't live together and we are only together a few nights out of the week after we both get off for work...
A. 4 January 2015: Honeypie's response is funny!!! However, I agree 100%!! This boyfriend of yout's is absolutely COOKOO!!! Do not listen to anything he tells you!!! On the contrary, my friends who date older men are treated with so much love and respect from the... (read in full...)
Would it be awful if I finally confirmed the break up over the phone? Or should I go round?
Q. Hello I'd like some advice please. My boyfriend and I have been having problems for a few months now due to the fact he is a compulsive liar and was talking to other girls inappropriately. I went round to see him yesterday with the intention of ...
A. 4 January 2015: At the moment you are very angry with him. Maybe give it a week for the both of you to calm down. Don't see him, talk, or text him. During this week, take time out to see if you miss him, if you still love him. Think about to what extent did he lie ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and wants the relationship to move forward, but I feel like that's just asking for trouble!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for about 6 months. I really enjoy his company. He is funny and very understanding. And very passionate. But over the 6 months certain things have been bothering me and Im wondering if I should really be In ...
A. 4 January 2015: True love is not based on money or health conditions. You have listed several things about your relationship that raises concern to you. Now, what you have to do is ask yourself if you love him enough to stay with him despite these issues.
We are ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend's new guy snooped on her facebook and found our hookup messages.
Q. SOOOOOO here's the thing. Roughly 6 months ago my gf and I broke up. we had been together for 3 years and best friends for years before. We had just been fighting for a few months because the struggles of life (bills school etc) had gotten to us. ...
A. 4 January 2015: My suggestion would be to tell her you love her, want to be with her again. Then let her make the decision. You should not comment on what you think of her new beau, or whether she should get married or not. Just tell her how you feel about her and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend caught me lying, should I just break things of now?
Q. About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend caught me lying to her about a couple of stupid things. She's quite conservative and I lied about the things I did (which I don't think are a big deal) because I didn't want to upset her, although I do know that ...
A. 4 January 2015: It really depends on what you lied to her about.
It may be that she needs some time to digest it and accept that you've lied. Give her some time and hopefully things will go back to normal.
If you really want to ease her mind, you may want to work ... (read in full...)
Struggling to move on from ex, please help.
Q. I am currently struggling with being able to forget about my ex. I was with him for 2 years and we'd gone through so much together. He was my rock and I loved him more than anything. I had a fair few problems of my own, which I know, at times, I ...
A. 1 January 2015: I know it can be difficult at times. But the good news is, he's making it easy and clear for you - he's showing you that he's moved on and not interested in getting back with you.
Now YOU just need to move on. The good and maybe even bad memo... (read in full...)
I think this is catfish behaviour!
Q. So currently I am in a LDR with a girl whom I share feelings for. We have been talking to each other for well over what's going to be months already. Throughout this relationship I have always been willing to send pictures and to want to skype an...
A. 1 January 2015: I'm also in a long distance relationship. When I first met my boyfriend, he was in the chatroom flirting with all the girls. He would ask everyone for a pic of themselves lol... He was also very open about posting his own picture, he used his ... (read in full...)
Does this mean that he stills care about me? Is he angry still?
Q. About a month ago I found out that my ex got engaged. I was devastated, cry the whole night, and was depressed. I wanted to contacted him but I decided not to let my emotions drive me to insanity. He cheated on me so I broke up our engagement and ...
A. 18 December 2014: I have a friend who was in a similar situation as yours. She dated this man for a very long time, they talked about marriage many times, even went to see a counselor. The first time they made wedding plans, he backed out while taking wedding ... (read in full...)
She's taking dancing lessons with her ex!
Q. My girlfriend of about 4 months teaches ballroom dancing, and is still learning -of course. Overall, our relationship is good -- we acknowledge we love each other all the time. I don't dance, but that's ok. Here's the problem. Once a week she driv...
A. 26 November 2014: I would ask to be able to accompany her to her lessons... maybe not every time, but often enough. Also of course, that she introduce you to her dance instructor.... (read in full...)
Why can't I stop thinking about my ex ever since I found out that he is engaged?
Q. I just found out that my exboyfriend just got engaged. We've been separated for about 2 years and 6 months now. We were together for 11 years and I broke up our engagement because I got fed up with his lies and cheating. He tried to get back to ...
A. 26 November 2014: Because you can't let go of the fact that you've invested 11 years into a relationship that lead to nowhere... yet within a few years of him dating another girl, he's getting engaged and soon to marry her.
Let it go.. move on.... (read in full...)
He's become distant and seems bored with the relationship
Q. Hi everyone.. So me and my boyfriend has been in long term relationship and he's serious about our relationship and take me into his life. He's so caring and loving man that I know. He used to treat me so good and accept me for who I am. He ...
A. 26 November 2014: You're only hurting yourself by trying to hold on to a guy who doesn't love you anymore. I know you know that he is not in love with you anymore and has nothing invested in your relationship anymore.
Why not just let him go? You're only wasting your... (read in full...)
Why did my ex contact me all of a sudden when he's still with his girlfriend? He knows I hate him and we are in two different countries
Q. My ex and I were together for 4 years, including 1 year long distance. He dumped me 1.5 years ago. I've contacted him a few times and told him how terrible I felt. He's got a new girlfriend 3 months after we broke up. I was desperate. I've said bad ...
A. 26 November 2014: Maybe him and his current got into an argument and he felt lonely and unloved so he sent you that email.. maybe they broke up and he hasn't changed his Facebook status/pic.. whatever the reason, if he is in a happy healthy relationship, he will not ... (read in full...)
Why would you leave the best relationship you ever had over a surmountable problem.
Q. Hey guys, This past Friday my boyfriends of a little over a year broke up with me. Despite my embarrassing pleas he would not reconsider. The reason he gave for the breakup was that despite my having been the best girlfriend he had ever had and...
A. 26 November 2014: You've been together a little over a year, my guess is that the 'honeymoon phase' is over and you're now at the 'acceptance and compromise phase' of your relationship. This is the phase where you have gotten to see the 'real' side of each other... ... (read in full...)
A love that hurts at times
Q. Ok so long story short, I met the love of my life 8 months ago. I say the love of my life and you're probably asking why I'm on here... I need help from your opinions on understanding a few things.. Mainly the women using this. First of all.. The ...
A. 18 November 2014: I'm confused... you say you are a perfect match, everything is smooth as can be and awesome as can be. Then you go on to say you're trying so hard but she's not...what are you trying for..??? Isn't every thing perfect? I wonder if you are only abl... (read in full...)
Liking someone, or liking the idea of someone?
Q. What is the Difference between liking someone and the idea of someone? I've been out with a girl a number of times. I have a nice time with her. I dont feel a huge sense of attraction there, but I do feel the start of a nice warm feeling about he...
A. 18 November 2014: Some loves you recognise right away.. the attraction is so strong and powerful that there's no denying. Then there's the kinda love that just grows slowly and steadily. Then there's the love that starts out with you both hating each other's guts ... (read in full...)
I had a feeling he was texting other girls, and he was! How do I approach this as it will reveal I went through his phone?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months. Recently I haven't been feeling the same, like I still love him but I get the feeling he doesn't. Things have changed a little over the weekend and I don't like the way it's going. I had a feeling he was ...
A. 18 November 2014: I think you both are still young. They do say girls mature earlier than guys, so maybe you are at a stage where you are ready to commit to one boyfriend and stay faithful. He is just not be ready yet. I'm not sure if he's really meeting up with ... (read in full...)
He texts another female everyday, and she sends him selfies .... I told him it makes me uncomfortable but he doesn't seem to care.
Q. Is it normal to be texting the opposite sex everyday if you are attached? My bf has been texting a female friend everyday for the past month and she sends him her selfies a few times a week. Although the photos are not sexual, I do feel ...
A. 16 November 2014: Here's an approach you can consider:
Take selfies of you and your boyfriend when you both are on dates, eating, cuddling at home, etc. ask your boyfriend to return the favor when she sends her selfies to him by sending a selfie of you both.
If yo... (read in full...)
My fiance and father of our child has revealed that he has fantasies about having sex with other women. How am I supposed to cope with this?
Q. What would you do/think if your fiance who you just had a baby with says he fantasises/wants to have sex with other women! One of the woman he sees around work and talks to. Hes never cheated as far as i know and says he only would sleep with oth...
A. 16 November 2014: Is he about the same age as you? I guess there can be a couple of reasons: 1. Since you've been pregnant, he hasn't been able to have sex with you, so at this age, his hormones might be all over the place and he's thinking up sex fantasies with e... (read in full...)
He's seemed passive-aggressive since we got back together
Q. Okay.. So me and my boyfriend are getting back from break up and now he's passive aggressive towards me. I know he still loves me. We've been in serious relationship and he's ready for commitment before but now things changed. He loss his patience, ...
A. 16 November 2014: There seems to be a lot of issues going on here... you need to tackle them one by one. First things first, you need to mend the relationship with your boyfriend. Often times, couples in love who had a break from each other come back even stronger.. ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work when it starts with sex on the first date?
Q. Does sex on first date ever lead to a relationship? I met "Al" two weeks ago and the connection was amazing. We didn't want the date to end so we hung out on his roof and then, his place. One thing led to another and we slept together. I have NEVER ...
A. 16 November 2014: It doesn't matter whether you had sex on the 1st date, 2nd date, 50th date... the most important thing is the connection and chemistry between two people and their will to want to make the relationship work.
You will have good times, and you will... (read in full...)
Is there any way to track texts, numbers and messages on an iPhone that is not yours?
Q. Is there any way to put a tracking device on an iPhone? How can I do this? I need to monitor my husband's phone for evidence of cheating. How about a GPS tracking device for the car? Can anyone help me? How can I do all this and where can I ge...
A. 16 November 2014: Why do you need hard evidence to leave him? To justify that he is in the wrong and you are doing a right thing by leaving him? In your mind, you have already deserted him and your marriage. I'm not saying that he is not doing any of the things you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never wants to go anywhere with me just always wants to be at home. Is this normal?
Q. Hey everyone so I've been having the longest problem with my boyfriend. Here lately my boyfriend won't go with me any where he says its not true but every time I've asked him to go anywhere with me he says no. Now my mom is in the hospital and has ...
A. 16 November 2014: Have you asked him why he wants to stay home all the time? Is he on the computer? Playing online games? Studying? Tired from work? Or just hibernating as it's cold outside?
You need to communicate - talk to him and ask him why. Once you unde... (read in full...)
How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 16 November 2014: In my opinion, you should NEVER use an ultimatum on a guy. You can talk to him, tell him how you feel about the situation, and suggest a compromise. NEVER an ultimatum.
First and foremost, you need to find out if this guy likes you in the same way/... (read in full...)
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