A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum.My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine.I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. My boyfriend says she probably just forgot to change the pic.She visited us today and i avoided her. Shes a really nice lady but i was annoyed about the fact she never changed her phone pic to my child's one.I couldn't fake being nice today. I cant talk and ask her outright either.What should i make of this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MSA  +, writes (8 September 2014):
 Congrats on your baby!! What a precious gift you have!
You are a mom now... time to start thinking for others. How will your hubby feel if he knew of your dislike for his mom? ... and over what? A wallpaper on a phone?
Be creative and think of the many options you have to make it a win win situation for all of you -
1. Take a pic with BOTH babies and send to your MIL to use as wallpaper, or use an app to combine two photos together.
2. Give one or two or three framed photos of your baby, your family to your MIL to put in her home.
3. Use your baby's photo as the lock screen, and the other baby's photo as wall paper etc etc etc... be creative! There's lots of way to resolve this than being upset!
Cheers!
A
female
reader, Amiye +, writes (8 September 2014):
I understand your feelings of frustration but is this really a good enough reason not to speak to the Grandmother of your child? You said she is a nice lady which proves this isn't a mean move, maybe she is enjoying being a Grandmother to both children and to busy to bother about her phone.If you feel it would help speak to her or better yet get a framed photograph or take one on her phone of both children together as a gift for her, she will love it and would proberly feel hurt if she relised she had hurt your feelings in any way. Good luck and enjoy being the best Mum you can be.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (8 September 2014):
 You've just had a baby and THIS is the sort of thing you care about?
You know, most of the time I don't even know what pictures other folks use as wallpaper for their phones because I couldn't care less. I have my own cell phone. I don't need to care about theirs.
Your baby must be the lowest maintenance infant ever because you seem to have far too much time on your hands.
Congratulations by the way.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 September 2014):
 did it occur to you that maybe someone else set the picture of the other grandkid in her phone as wallpaper?
like a nephew or friend?
Maybe she doesnt know how to set the wallpaper and doesnt care much to change it?
avoiding her for this reason is immature. if she treats both grandchildren equally in every other aspect, leave this matter alone.
and be nice to her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2014):
 ...What about the other mum ( the brother's wife ) ? Should not she feel annoyed or hurt too ,if your MIL changed her kid's picture with yours just because it's a " newer " baby ? Poor MIL can't do right , in this situation :)
Solve it by giving her a nice framed pic of your pic which she can keep in prod disply in her living room.
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A
female
reader, Behavioural Analysis +, writes (8 September 2014):
 How about you stop making it a competition and ask to visit your boyfriend's brother's family and have a picture taken with your child and his cousin? Surely that makes more sense than being rude to a woman who presumably shows her love for your baby too? If your baby not being the wallpaper on her phone is the biggest problem you have with her, you're very lucky; my entire paternal side never bothered with me growing up. This "problem" is petty and is only in your head. If there's a different, underlying problem, it would be good for you to tell us, to see if we can help :)
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 September 2014):
 Number 1. It's her phone,who cares what pic is on it/ and B. does this make you any less of a person because his mother has a cute baby pic on her phone? It means NOTHING!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 September 2014):
 You're avoiding speaking to someone because of a picture on a phone...think that through.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 September 2014):
 She could have Donald Duck as her wallpaper and it wouldn't be your business.
I'm sorry you are making such a huge issue out of something that really should be NO issue.
You want your MIL to be proudly displaying your child's photo? Then have your favorite printed out and put in a nice frame for her to have at her house.
I have 3 kids. My "wall paper" is that of 2 of my cats. Does that mean I care less about my kids then my cats? No, it's just a cute picture.
This isn't a CUTEST baby contest. And your baby isn't worse or better thin your BIL's baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2014): Really?? You're worried about this? Jeez my mother wouldn't know how to change her phone wallpaper. Seriously she's come to visit and you've ignored her? I suggest you just get her some flowers and blame being so unsociable during her visit on feeling hormonal!
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (7 September 2014):
What should you make of this? It really is so trivial it’s not worth giving it any thought really. Is she a good person? Will she be a loving grandmother? Does she treat her grandchildren equally, acting as a loving figure in their lives? That’s the kind of thing that matters far more than a picture on a phone. Supposing she changed it and your boyfriend’s brother, or his partner, got upset that their kid was no longer the star of the wall paper? You can read hidden meaning that was never intended into anything if you overthink things. I do understand that you want her to love and care for your child as much as she does her other grandchild so I do understand why, having noticed this, it’s playing on your mind, but really it’s not important. Judge her on how she is as a grandmother to all her grandchildren.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 September 2014):
 I think you've encountered an ant-colony and believe that you've happened upon Mount Everest......
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