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... Send *SA a private message | | | *SA's profile:I'm a professional dreamer and believer.. that love is worth fighting for. I believe in giving chances, especially to the one least worthy. We may be disappointed in the outcome and think we've wasted that chance, but you never know, somewhere down the road, your love may be remembered. Never give up on someone and never give up on a relationship... not until you've tried and tried and tried again.
True love never comes easy... it must be fought for and worked on. Hold on to your dreams and believe in love... it will take you far!
I've only been a member of this community for about two years. I truly love and appreciate all the members and their insight. This place is awesome!
When I first joined this community I was heart broken over a guy who chose to cut contact with me over something silly. Thanks to a special member, ShareBear, who stayed with me every step of the way, I was able to get over the heart break and love myself again.
Now, when I have a chance, I come back to help with questions and from time to time post a question of my own too! |
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What can I do to make my LDR boyfriend trust me?
Q. I m in a relationship with this guy and it had been 2 years. We love each other More then our lives. This is a long distance relationship. He is really possessive. I don't use any social networking because of him and I m fine with it. I don't talk ...
A. 30 December 2015: You've been with this guy for 2 years and have only met him 3 times?? What is the duration of each visit? Have you met his family & friends?
There's no way to 'make' him trust you, but if you haven't done anything to betray his trust, after bein... (read in full...)
What do I do? I really want out at the moment but we have a lot of commitments.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have recently had a child and are pretty settled but have had our arguments in the past. We were also seeing each other before the 4 years for maybe 4 months. Any way to the problem, maybe 3 ...
A. 11 December 2015: There is a name for this symptom of yours - retroactive jealousy! LOL ~ No, seriously ... stop reflecting upon the past on what she did and what she didn't do. Focus on the present. If you both are happy then what is the problem??? Stop snooping... (read in full...)
Not over her, yet. How can I stop comparing every girl I date to my first love??
Q. Its been 2.5 years since my last girlfriend left me for her high school love. We dated for over a year and she was the best girlfriend I ever had. She was perfect in all ways and for the first time the spark was there till the last week she dumped ...
A. 11 December 2015: Is your ex that perfect? Or is the image of your ex that perfect?
Over time, most of us tend to forget reasons why we argue and break up. We forget or many never even realize why the relationship didn't work out. So what we have left are the good... (read in full...)
Why is he backing away like this? How should I handle his behaviour?
Q. I am 25yrs old female while my guy is 31yrs old we both love each other so much but later i noticed he refuses to introduce me to any of his family members apart from his friends. I asked him why that he if truly he loves me doing that is not a pr...
A. 11 December 2015: One word: Childish. I would wish him the best of luck with whomever he's posting pics of. You should move on to find a more mature man that won't play games with you. Also if he doesn't want to introduce you to family after being together for a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't have alot of time for me. She says take it or leave it
Q. Haven't heard from my girlfriend in three days, don't know why, we get along real good I thought, she is a busy person with work ,an working out, paladies,her dogs, about five months in the relationship, I treat her like a princess, every one says ...
A. 11 December 2015: If she wants to be with you, she will be considerate of your needs and feelings and will want to work with you on arranging to spend more time together. This can be done either via more nights together after work or more frequent calls/texts during ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to help a tired girlfriend in a long distance relationship?
Q. Hiya, In a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, at first swe was always texting so many times a day even though she has two jobs and we always managed to see each other every couple weeks. But past couple weeks she has been distant, ...
A. 6 December 2015: FOOD!! Food always helped! I'm also in a LDR. My boyfriend rarely cooks and after a long day at work he'll just order take out from a restaurant. We'll be on the phone deciding what he wants for dinner, then I'll call the restaurant (with him on the ... (read in full...)
How can I determine if he really wants what I want?
Q. I dated a guy on and off last year but we remained friends. The basic reason why we broke up was 1. Lack of communication and 2. I wasn't sure that he was over his ex. Recently, he said that he misses me. I said the same, and so we started hangi...
A. 4 December 2015: Well does he communicate more and better now? Does he still keep in touch with his ex? That will be a start...... (read in full...)
How can I forgive and forget?
Q. Ok, so I need help from some people that have gone through this before. Me and my girlfriend of 5 years broke up, and pretty much right away she slept with some guy. About 3 months later she wants to get back together but I'm not sure if I can ...
A. 2 December 2015: I would not suggest to get back together with her, nor would I suggest to not get back with her. However, what I do suggest is that you need to be sure you have forgiven her and are at peace with the whole situation of her breaking up with you and ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be suspicious of this woman
Q. My partner was working on a woman's house last week and is now doing some (more) work for her. His brother was meant to be helping on the job, but he says he's doing it on his own now. Her number was on the phone but not saved. He said he topped up ...
A. 2 December 2015: While reading your post, I get the feeling that you are lacking love and attention, therefore feeling a bit insecure in this relationship. Stop over thinking!! Learn to TRUST your man and please, STOP looking at his call log on his phone trying to ... (read in full...)
I can tell he's trying to change but I don't think it's enough anymore
Q. I apologise in advance for this being a long question, but as I need answers/advice from people outside of the situation, I have to fully explain everything. So, basically, I'm 19 years old, and was dating a boy, lets name him Jordan, for over...
A. 30 November 2015: You and your boyfriend needs to sit down and discuss boundaries. Have a long and deep conversation about what is OK to do while in a relationship and what is not ok to do. Make the list and keep it, making sure you BOTH adhere to it. Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
I'm angry that my partner returned the iPhone he found to its owner
Q. What would you do if you found a I phone? My partner found one by his car and it belonged to a woman because it had a case with flowers on to protect it and a photo of her and her fella. My partner said to see if she rang for her phone and if...
A. 30 November 2015: I think it's great that your partner returned the phone. It is the right thing to do. I understand that there are many people out there who would've kept the phone for their own use, but it's wrong. You know it's wrong, they know it's wrong. ... (read in full...)
I need help finding a solution!
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been with my man for almost a year now and lately we've been speaking about our future in terms of where we may live one day. He used to talk openly about it but lately he seems short with me when I bring it up and I'll explain...
A. 19 October 2015: This is one of the biggest obstacles couples in a Long Distance Relationship often face.
Your goal is always to eventually move together, but who should be the one to move?
It appears in your case, neither of you want to move and thinking... (read in full...)
I feel like I never get respect -- what can I do?
Q. This is more of a rant rather than a question but I could use some much needed advice. I'm a young woman and I consider myself laid back and quiet, but I'm nice. For some reason a lot of people in my life and in the past I feel have taken ad...
A. 3 October 2015: Well... a lot of it has to do with your attitude and response. When I was in my early 20's, no one at work took me seriously. It didn't help that I was small built and girly. I knew I had to toughen up if I wanted to advance in my career. So I had ... (read in full...)
To smoke cigarettes or not? Is there a compromise or a solution we can try to make things ok for us both?
Q. I know what I’m going to write sounds kind of strange, and very long but I guess that’s just the way it goes…. Since I was a young teenager I was interested in trying smoking but I got the chance once at the age of 14 but I didn’t actually go throu...
A. 3 October 2015: I guess botton line is, do you want the relationship with your boyfriend or do you want to smoke? Choose.
He doesn't want to be with someone who smokes, period.
You know the health issues related to smoking and you know everyone will advise a... (read in full...)
Recently met her. However due to her response re instagram should I just walk away from her now?
Q. I met a girl recently, really liked her and we get along well. I synced my phone contacts with instagram and i can see all my contacts who use it, and she has an account and posts things every few days. I asked her if she uses instagram and sh...
A. 3 October 2015: There could be many reasons - she's a liar, she doesn't feel comfortable enough to share instagram with you, etc etc. I would suggest to just let it go and ask again in a few months after you've known each other better. But if it really bothers ... (read in full...)
Tips on making a good impression on her?
Q. Dear friends Firstly, english is not my first language, so forgive my errors. I would like some advice regarding meeting with a friend of mine. I have not known this girl long, and we agreed to meet up so i can guide her around this city, she...
A. 2 October 2015: Well there is no garauntee that she will LIKE you.. but you can always assure that she will have a good time if you take the time to talk to her to see what she likes to do. Is she the adventurous type? Does she like hiking and biking and being ... (read in full...)
I just wanted to make amends with my ex but now he hates me
Q. My ex hates me. We had a bad fall out over some big misunderstanding where he ended up blocking me before we could sort things out. Anyway things have just gone from bad to worse with us sending hate messages to each other via a mutual friend (who I ...
A. 4 September 2015: I truly believe that if someone is meant to be in your life.. eventually they will find their way back.. or you will cross paths again.
Unfortunately for now, you must leave this guy alone. He doesn't want anything to do with you.
I had this hap... (read in full...)
If he's tired of social media then why is he still following me?
Q. I am curious as to why a guy I was talking to would suddenly delete all his social media accounts without good explanation. His shabby excuse was because he just didn't feel like dealing with it. Yet prior this he was constantly on facebook and ...
A. 4 September 2015: Why do you care?.... Why are you 'testing him?
Are you interested in this guy? Is he an ex?
People do what ever they want. I used to be very active on Facebook... then I met my current boyfriend and he uses another app.. I stopped going to Facebook... (read in full...)
Will he ever love me the way he loved her ?
Q. I’ve been dating a guy. Its been a year and I really love him. The thing is, he has some major relationship issues that i believe . His ex cheated on him which has caused him to be very closed off and wary of relationships. I really think we have ...
A. 4 September 2015: First and foremost - Do Not Compare Relationships! ! Every relationship is different, so don't go and compare.. it is soooooo unhealthy and will break what you have instantly. Secondly - Do Not Compare Yourself To Others! You are you, he loves ... (read in full...)
He's showing no interest whatever in wedding planning
Q. What to do if he's stopped showing interest in planning the wedding? After two years in a long distance relationship, my fiance and I are finally living together(we've been engaged over a year)-going on three weeks. We have both been busy gett...
A. 2 September 2015: I hope you don't take this the wrong way....
First question is - has he officially proposed to you or is it just assumed that after you move in together that you will get married?
Is there a date set? Both of you have talked to your parents/... (read in full...)
Men, what would you like your girlfriend to text you?
Q. Guy I'm dating likes to text me hello, asks about my day or what I'm up to or follow up questions and to make plans for when we see each other next. However, it is usually always him who initiates the texting. He has questioned why I never text him...
A. 2 September 2015: I'm guessing he's thinking that when you take the initiative to text him, it shows your interest in him. Kind of like you made the first move on something. I'd suggest to text him 'Good Morning, Hope you'll have a great day' when you wake up. Then... (read in full...)
Do you think he really cares for me & is just wanting me for himself - or are these the signs of an abusive relationship?
Q. My boyfriend makes me feel special and is very protective over me. However, sometimes when I challenge him over his past he gets very bad tempered and verbally abusive to me and won't speak. We made up after the last time as it was just a misund...
A. 2 September 2015: To be honest, I think you both are acting a bit immaturely. Your boyfriend is insecure and acts immaturely with his temper and verbal abuse. You should never 'challenge him over his past'.. the past is the past. Everything begins when you and him... (read in full...)
Can our LDR survive if we're not able to meet face to face until 4-5 months time?
Q. I joined an online dating site a few months ago. The first thing you need to know is that I'm currently living abroad. When I joined the site, my plan was to move back to the U.S. At the beginning of next year. But, things have happened since t...
A. 31 August 2015: I don't understand this all or nothing theory people have.
Why must be commit to a LDR with him now? Why is it not possible to just continue conversation and getting to know each other until you get to meet face to face in 4-5 months?
Wheth... (read in full...)
Online dating. Is me asking her when we will get together a bad thing? She will not give me a solid answer
Q. I have been in a online relationship for quite sometime now and I wont say it has been easy, I have made a few mistakes and put our trust on thin ice so she has a hard time trusting me. We have been working on this together very diligently and duri...
A. 31 August 2015: To be honest, until you have met her IN PERSON.. I think to say that you 'love' her is a bit too soon.
You don't know who and how she is in the real.. just as she does not know you.
You can talk to someone for a long time online, they can tell you... (read in full...)
Paying on a date. Am I making this too big of a deal?
Q. Am I making this too big of a deal? I have been seeing one guy for about 3 weeks now. Everything is good and I really love to be with him, he wants to be with me, we have fun together and everything is easy and we just click. He is very caring...
A. 31 August 2015: If you are serious about him and consider him boyfriend material, why not just be open and honest and ask him. Say: "Honey, how come you only paid for your coffee and not mine? Did you forget about me?" Or something along the lines of that.
I... (read in full...)
Is it time to bring this to a close? Seems I am now just a text friend and there has been no apology.
Q. May I ask for advice I fell out with a guy I got close to He gave me the impression he was finished with the person who he was with but was not the case as he has bought into a flat and had to see out the contract Anyway because I felt le...
A. 31 August 2015: Some people prefer to cut all contact with people they've been with but didn't work out. Some people like to keep those people in their lives because at one point, he/she was an important part of their life.
This guy clearly wants to keep you in h... (read in full...)
My husband is obese and has health issues. Should I leave him or continue to try and support him?
Q. My marriage is suffering due to my husbands excessive weight gain, should I leave him or continue to try and support him and hope that things will get better? We've been together for 11 years and have two young children. I love him dearly but ...
A. 31 August 2015: It seems you've been with this man since you were 17 years old?
Do you still love him? He is only growing older and you are still in your youth. This is hard.. especially with him not caring about his health and not in shape.
There are many thi... (read in full...)
Is there ever a right time to give someone a piece of your mind?
Q. Help. My friend who I thought was a friend was making a play for my man all along. We split up and he blocked me and then chose her instead of me, but mainly because she was stirring things up between us with lies and my ex chose to believe her ...
A. 29 August 2015: Something similar happened to me two years ago. Me, Her, and Him were friends. It was clear he was interested in me even though she was always trying to get his attention. He even told her to her face that he wasn't interested in her. She became c... (read in full...)
Should I trust my G/f and continue with our relationship or make both of our lives easier and just break it off now?
Q. I'd like to ask for some opinions, any opinions at all, from an outside point of view. I just can't think straight without determining whether I'm too emotional or just plain paranoid at this point. I'm 24, and have been with my girlfriend (same...
A. 28 August 2015: I understand how you feel as I've been in your situation before. Every thing seems to be fine and you truly trust this person... then you catch them in a lie and notice deleted messages etc. The first break of your trust and then you wonder what ... (read in full...)
What can I do about his reluctance to spend time with me, and have a social life together, during weekends?
Q. Recently, I've gotten into a long term relationship. We've been dating for two years and I had to move an hour and a half away to finish college. Something that has been bothering me is the fact that he never wants to spend time with me aroun...
A. 27 August 2015: Is it possible to spend Saturday with him and Sunday with your friends? Even Friday night with friends?
If he is not ready or too busy to meet your new friends, why not you hang out with these new friends first and just wait for an opportunity for ... (read in full...)
Can I still trust my partner? I'm in turmoil and have doubts since I saw a message on his phone.
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I saw a message on my finance phone whom I have been in a relationship with for the last 4 years which as really upset me. The message were between him and his friend and said along the line of shall we have a threesom...
A. 27 August 2015: I agree that his chat with his friends is wrong.
Now, the question is - do you want to break up with him over this incident? Is this a deal breaker for you? You need to figure that out.
Thing is, you are physically with him every day.. you WILL KNO... (read in full...)
I'm wasting a lot of time obsessing over my ex. What can I do to stop thinking about him?
Q. Hi. I went out with a guy for over 5 years. He was my first great love ; he would've been 'the one'. Things went rough and we broke 13 months ago. I would say I was very happy about the breakup because he did love me and treated me well but the...
A. 17 August 2015: You can't stop thinking about your ex because you are allowing open communication between the both of you. When you broke up, you should've gone no contact. Delete and block him. Since you allowed email communication between the both of you, you... (read in full...)
Why am I still obsessing over my ex and his new girlfriend? How can I stop obsessing like this?
Q. Why do I still obsess over my ex and his new girlfriend after all this time? I had a bad break up with my fella - last year. I'm not the dating type so have never moved on or found anyone since as I don't want really anyone - I still love my ex de...
A. 13 August 2015: I agree it's all about pride. He moved on with someone else, but you didn't.
Pride, jealousy, anger.. etc
Just let it go. What you and him have is over and done with. He's moved on with someone else and is happy with her now.
Leave them alone.... (read in full...)
Why do my boyfriend's parents care so much about my educational background?
Q. I am a 22 year old woman in a relationship with a 24 year old man. We love each other but are complete opposites when it comes to educational background. I did not go to college, while he has a masters degree. His parents both have doctoral de...
A. 13 August 2015: First of all, I DO NOT agree with your boyfriend's parents' view. However, I do understand where they are coming from. They have invested a lot of money and effort into their son's education and upbringing. Their hopes are that his son become a part ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to a wedding where his ex will be there, I'm not going but not feeling good about the situation
Q. My boyfriend has been invited to a wedding without me and his ex will be there. I've fallen out with him about his ex many times because I've found out that he's gone to see her behind my back and lied about it, repeatedly. When I found out that...
A. 13 August 2015: I suggest you ask him to take you to the wedding. I know you don't feel comfortable going, but you must face it, face his ex. SHOW her that you and him are a couple by going to the wedding together. If he truly loves and respects you, he will bring ... (read in full...)
Three years together and my Gf has asked me to pay ($5000) towards a medical procedure she wants. What would you do if in my situation?
Q. I'm in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for the past 3 years. She's always been independent and has never asked me for anything. For the past couple of months however she has been thinking of getting a surgery that insurance won't help wit...
A. 27 July 2015: $5,000 is a good chunk of money. Is it possible to obtain a payment plan? Then maybe you won't have to come up with the entire sum immediately and be able to make monthly payments together.
If it's a surgery she absolutely needs, I think you shou... (read in full...)
How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?
Q. How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...
A. 27 July 2015: Well since it was legit for you to open his emails to check bank statements, then it was legit that you saw his email about his past/background. Why not just bring it up directly and ask him? Another thing you need to ask yourself is, IF what you... (read in full...)
Is this history repeating? Could my current GF be similar to my ex? What can I do?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years now.. we are planning a baby and to buy a house together. Sometimes we have blazing rows which out me in bad form. Last blazing row we had ... I started thinking about my ex. Just curiosit...
A. 27 July 2015: Honeypie totally nailed it. Sometimes the issue is in yourself but you can't see it. Things that you do, your reactions.. they trigger the same response from your ex and current GF. The change should perhaps come from you. Never.. and never, c... (read in full...)
Snooping and led to Betrayal by my husband and alledgedly double life
Q. My life suddenly just collapsed in front of me. I just found out the man i married 5mths ago has another family in the UK. What should i do. I feel like dying. I met my husband through a mutual friend last yr. He told me about his baby mama who he c...
A. 27 July 2015: I guess, from what you say - that you've seen the divorce papers and proceedings with his attorney, then it is a fact that he is divorcing this other woman. Basically, that is all you need to know. Whether it was a real or fake marriage, the marr... (read in full...)
He wouldn't go public with our relationship so I ended it. Did I make the right decision?
Q. He says his marriage is ended and they have both moved on but he wont go public with our relationship or remove his "married to... [her name]" Facebook status. Did I do the right thing ending it after giving him the ultimatum remove the status and ...
A. 27 July 2015: Thanks for the update, OP. So you've been together for 8 months yet he hasn't officially signed the divorce papers? Well then I suggest you leave this guy immediately. You should not have even started this relationship. Anyone who is serious ... (read in full...)
My fiance disrespected my family. Should I give him a second chance?
Q. I have cried my eyes out tonight. My fiance of 3 years disrespected me and my family. I'm in disbelief and denial. Here is the story. We are in LDR right now, sometimes the frustration is too much and mostly from his part. He has done a lot for m...
A. 27 July 2015: What he said is indeed hurtful and out of character. I suggest to give yourself time and him time to calm down. Then talk about the situation again. He most likely had a bad day or something must have happened that he reacted so poorly. Try to ... (read in full...)
How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?
Q. How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...
A. 27 July 2015: It is quite dramatic to say that if he doesn't give you the answers your're seeking then you're moving on. He has every right to be mad about that statement. A marriage should be a lasting vow and not something taken so lightly.
As for you snoo... (read in full...)
He wouldn't go public with our relationship so I ended it. Did I make the right decision?
Q. He says his marriage is ended and they have both moved on but he wont go public with our relationship or remove his "married to... [her name]" Facebook status. Did I do the right thing ending it after giving him the ultimatum remove the status and ...
A. 27 July 2015: First, I will agree that he is in the wrong. He is not respecting you or your relationship by continuing his status on Facebook as 'Married to...' Now, as his girlfriend, you can make the demand for him to remove his status and delete everythin... (read in full...)
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