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... Send *SA a private message | | | *SA's profile:I'm a professional dreamer and believer.. that love is worth fighting for. I believe in giving chances, especially to the one least worthy. We may be disappointed in the outcome and think we've wasted that chance, but you never know, somewhere down the road, your love may be remembered. Never give up on someone and never give up on a relationship... not until you've tried and tried and tried again.
True love never comes easy... it must be fought for and worked on. Hold on to your dreams and believe in love... it will take you far!
I've only been a member of this community for about two years. I truly love and appreciate all the members and their insight. This place is awesome!
When I first joined this community I was heart broken over a guy who chose to cut contact with me over something silly. Thanks to a special member, ShareBear, who stayed with me every step of the way, I was able to get over the heart break and love myself again.
Now, when I have a chance, I come back to help with questions and from time to time post a question of my own too! |
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I know it's not healthy and I'm trying to move on but it's human to want revenge!
Q. So I'd been dating a girl on and off for 4 months but it became a long distance relationship due to university over summer. We'd talk every day and I'd visit as often as I could - until we had (what I thought was) a small argument. Turns out right ...
A. 14 August 2014: Anger / Resentment is a phase in the emotions we go through in a break up. It is OK.. go through with the feelings as THINK (only THINK) of all the karma and bad things you wish will happen to her. Think about it as often as you want... but I know ... (read in full...)
What's the point of my existence?
Q. Hi all, I've been very down in myself lately. I've been wondering wat was the point in putting me on this earth? I live alone and I've no kids. I'm not in a relationship. The world could do without me. I really dont make a difference to anyone's ...
A. 14 August 2014: I think the first thing you should do is see a counselor about your depression. You mentioned you have a good job.. I believe part of your medical benefits package at work includes family or personal counselors. Give them a call and make an appt to ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else thinks that they closeness between the ex and my sons gf is a little odd?
Q. My son is 23 and has been dating a girl for about 8 months now. She is 22 and has a 4 year old son, Grady. . I was a little concerned with them dating not wanting him to get involved in an ex bf new bf drama, Last weekend we were invited to the l...
A. 14 August 2014: I think this is a great relationship your son, his girlfriend, her kid, and her ex has. You should be proud and feel fortunate to be a part of it all.
I truly hope you see the good in this!... (read in full...)
I did not just expect him to pay for his share only! Is this a sign of cheapness?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a month and a half. This past weekend we went on a mini weekend trip with another couple. The other couple had bought all the food for the trip and paid for the accommodations and at the end they were going to let us ...
A. 14 August 2014: I understand your confusion as I consider myself a pretty spoiled and old fashioned kinda girl. I'm used to guys / my boyfriend picking up the bill. Of course I will also pay for movies or dinner for the both of us too. But when out with friends or ... (read in full...)
I found naked pics of my boyfriends ex girlfriend on his laptop!
Q. Ok I'm so embarrassed about this situation. Here's the story. Not too long ago I accidentally came across my boyfriend's pornography on his laptop. I swear it was an accident although some people may not believe me. Anyway, I don't care about that ...
A. 14 August 2014: Sometimes couples do take intimate / naked pictures of each other. You have to understand that these photos were taken while they were together and they are NOT together now. Why he didn't dispose of them or why he left it stored in his computer, we ... (read in full...)
I know he's cheating on me, why won't he admit it?
Q. I know hes cheating on me ive been told by so many people and his friends its apparently been going on since dec when he moved to b closer to his brothers I've always given him the chance to tell me himself ive dropped hints with suff like if u lik...
A. 14 August 2014: Well, if you truly believe that he's cheating on you and you cannot accept it then there's only one of two options:
1. Call him out on it and see what he says.
2. Break up with him letting him know that is the reason.
A relationship should... (read in full...)
How long to withold sex in a LDR when you meet your significant other?
Q. I just met a guy through a mutual friend here in the states that I really like but he lives in Europe. We have been chatting everyday both on the phone and all other messaging means. He really likes me as a matter of face he loves me and claims I am ...
A. 10 July 2014: OP, it sounds like you're very unsure of what you want. You want to have sex but only with your husband to be; You feel he is THE ONE, but you're afraid that having sex with him too soon will cause him to lose interest. Please don't stress yourself ... (read in full...)
How long to withold sex in a LDR when you meet your significant other?
Q. I just met a guy through a mutual friend here in the states that I really like but he lives in Europe. We have been chatting everyday both on the phone and all other messaging means. He really likes me as a matter of face he loves me and claims I am ...
A. 10 July 2014: OP, unfortunately even with the gut feeling that he is THE ONE... you will never be sure until that day finally comes for the both of you to walk down the aisle together. Please always have faith and hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
I... (read in full...)
How to cure boredom and loneliness in your life?
Q. Hi guys, I've been on a rut for 3 years but I'm trying to rebuild myself and my life now that fell apart. I've felt boredom and loneliness are eating me now. Tired of the same routine of work-home-sleep-repeat. At the same time, I haven't dated fo...
A. 10 July 2014: I have a similar routine - work-home-dinner-watch movie-sleep. Lately I've incorporated going to the gym too. However, I don't find it boring at all. Often times these few activities fill up my night and before I know it, it's almost midnight and ... (read in full...)
How long to withold sex in a LDR when you meet your significant other?
Q. I just met a guy through a mutual friend here in the states that I really like but he lives in Europe. We have been chatting everyday both on the phone and all other messaging means. He really likes me as a matter of face he loves me and claims I am ...
A. 10 July 2014: Let me share my experience with you. I had sex with my current LDR BF after about 5 days of seeing each other, during his first visit. If I were an outsider looking at this, I would say it's too soon as I have never had sex with anyone that soon; ... (read in full...)
There always seemed to be a push-pull dynamic, and now she's broken up with me
Q. I was in a relationship for about two years. It was always very difficult to describe. We were very much in love. When we were together, two people couldn't have been better friends or better partners. We literally completed each other and made each ...
A. 27 June 2014: This seems to be pretty common these days... WiseOwlE answered on a similar question from a few days ago.. you may want to read up on it. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/dating-for-9-months-now-shes-decided-that.html
My thought on this is that... (read in full...)
After 3 months of an amazing relationship why did he suddenly stop talking to me?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 months. He lives in NJ and I live in NY- we are about an hour and a half away from one another. Some background on us- we met 7 years ago on vacation and really hit it off. He had a girlfriend so nothing ever ...
A. 27 June 2014: I wouldn't worry too much. He did tell you that he's been busy and things have been stressful for him. Don't over think it and don't begin to doubt yourself, him, or your relationship. Give him some time, if he really cares, which I believe he does, ... (read in full...)
He looks his ex up less and less, will the hurt fade from him eventually?
Q. I know that my boyfriend loves me and wants to be with only me, however he was very hurt when him and his ex girlfriend broke up nearly four years ago. We have been together a year and a half and live together with plans to marry next year. He ...
A. 4 June 2014: I just wanted to say 'Thank You' to WiseOwlE.. I needed to read your response. OP, I wish you the best! ^_^... (read in full...)
We are meeting for the first time and her parents want to know my job? Do I say I'm not working?
Q. Hi, I'm in a little bit of a dilemma, and I need some advice. I met this girl in her late twenties on a dating site. She made the first move. We've only traded a couple of messages back and forth, and are planning to meet tomorrow. She...
A. 2 June 2014: Relax, there's nothing to be worried about! Just tell her or her parents that you are not working now and waiting for a vocational school to accept you. It's nothing bad and not a big deal. I'm sure neither her nor her parents expect you to be the ... (read in full...)
Do I give too much in relationships?
Q. Dear Cupid I've always been the hearts and flowers kind of girl, but life showed me that happily ever after doesn't exist. I fell inlove with this guy.. and we dated for months. Everything was perfect and I still don't know what went wrong. We b...
A. 2 June 2014: Love shows up when you least expect it to... Love shows up when you're not looking.
There may be guys who break your heart and tear it to pieces.. but there will always be that one person who will come and mend it and let you know he's there to stay... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become a mean person and he says its because I nag at him all the time
Q. Hello everyone. So I don't normally come to these kinds of websites but I feel like I have no where to turn. I've read relationship books I've searched online for answers, talked with friends etc. So I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over ...
A. 2 June 2014: My suggestion would be for you to take your daughter out more often, or hang out with your friends more often. Let him have his space and stay home alone if he wishes. This might work out to benefit the both of you in the end. If he really loves yo... (read in full...)
How long before it's not a rebound relationship?
Q. A man I've known vaguely for six months. I went out for a drink with him this eve. He was clearly into me. Body language, energy etc. He told me he feels empty and lost since breaking up with his girlfriend 2 months ago.So I assume he is just ...
A. 2 June 2014: This is a very interesting question.. many have asked this before, I have too. Majority of aunties and uncles will tell you that it most likely is a rebound and to be very careful. I agree.. but I also believe there are exceptions.. there's always e... (read in full...)
I miss my girlfriend so much, its making me a miserable mess :(
Q. hi dear aunts, im so sad, i miss my girlfriend too much, I love her to bits and i can not be happy anymore if im not around her. we are long distance, continents apart. we have been that way for two years now and we will finally close the distance ...
A. 2 June 2014: Not being able to see your girlfriend on a daily basis is probably the biggest challenge of being in a LDR. I totally understand how you feel. However, what you are doing is not healthy, for both you and your relationship. Try to do things with ... (read in full...)
She got drunk and slept with someone -- do I forgive her?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 8 months, never had an argument never fought and we were completely honest to each other for the whole time. We trusted each other very well we bond great and its like she is the perfect one for me and I ...
A. 21 May 2014: I disagree that "cheaters will always be cheaters".. I believe they will change and will stop, question is whether they decide to stop cheating while in this relationship or in the next relationship...
I've never cheated on anyone and I don't real... (read in full...)
He doesn't get jealous. Does this mean he doesn't love me? Or is unfaithful?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. And there's something that's bothering me. He is not jealous at all. He don't care if my ex's text me he don't care if I cheat on him he don't care if guys hit on me or flirt with me in front ...
A. 16 May 2014: Did he tell you that he's not the jealous type or have you done all of the above to him and he wasn't jealous? I agree with SoVeryConfused. Jealousy is not love, it's insecurity. Relationships are built on trust. It doesn't matter if your ex is te... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I'm a clingy nervous wreck and now he won't speak to me
Q. This isn't a new question I posted before regarding a massive problem with my good friend and getting too close and now his perception of me is I'm a cling nervous wreck and we haven't spoke since November apart from a birthday wish in January ...
A. 15 May 2014: I had a guy who cut me out of his life once cuz I got on his nerve by pressing an issue I shouldn't have... but I refused to leave. I stuck around.. I encouraged and supported from a distance. After about 5 months, he talked to me again and we are ... (read in full...)
Wife said I could leave so she can take care of ailing mother.
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3 years and been together for 6. We are very happy and close and I couldn't ask for a better partner! Sometime before we met her mother was diagnosed with a rare cancer and given a very brief life expectancy, ...
A. 15 May 2014: I understand how you may be hurt and feel she is pushing you away and doesn't love you.. on the contrary, if she doesn't love you so much, she wouldn't have said what she said. She wants you to go live your life and have a better future, even if ... (read in full...)
Her unreliability is making me question the relationship
Q. I am a 21 years old guy, am in medical school and i have been dating this girl for 5 months. And i really like her and i know that she really likes me. And i really want to see where this relationship goes. Beside she is my first real girlfriend ...
A. 15 May 2014: The best thing to do is always to sit down with her and have a conversation about it first.. before considering break up. Why is she always rescheduling? Is it due to school? Work? Family situation? You need to find the right balance between ... (read in full...)
How do I reject this sweet, disabled guy?
Q. How do I respond to this?! Him: Why were you not in class today? Me: I was a little sick this morning - didn't wanna chance a 50min 4pm lecture :P Him: It's been a while hey? I really missed you. Me: I know, right? It's feel like foreve...
A. 14 May 2014: Why is it that you're scared of rejecting him because he's in a wheelchair? Do you view him differently because he's in a wheelchair? Regardless of whether he's in a wheelchair or not, he will take rejection the same way guys do.
You freaked out ... (read in full...)
He found a smudge on the wall .........
Q. I have been living with my partner for 10 years. We have 2 kids. My name is not on anything because I am trying to up my credit score (bad credit). He is an ocd neat freak. I am messy. The house isn't a nightmare, but it's not pristine either. He ...
A. 14 May 2014: Haha.. I am OCD, but not THAT OCD.
I think he may be upset at the fact that you are not helping keep the house clean and caring for your children since you are not working and have the time to do so. As a man who is out working all day to provi... (read in full...)
Anxious about retaking my driving test
Q. So first of all I should begin by saying that I suffer from mild depression and moderate-extreme anxiety depending on how I'm feeling. A couple of months ago I failed my driving test. I'm a very competent driver but the moment the driving proctor ...
A. 14 May 2014: Is there only one facility that you can go to, to take your driving test? Sometimes it might be helpful to try taking the test at another facility... maybe the driving proctor will look nicer? Or the road will be easier to drive! Give that a try... ... (read in full...)
He spends most of his time on the phone to her when I am with him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years, I found out he'd cheated on me 3 times during the first 10 months of our relationship both physical and emotional cheating. He 'realised his mistake' and I took him back. Our relationship ...
A. 14 May 2014: I know a guy that chats to girls while he's with his girlfriend. However, he is open and honest with her and includes her in his chats. For example he will let her talk to the girls he's chatting with. She knows about all of them and she is fine ... (read in full...)
BF won't show me his phone
Q. Here is a brief bit of background to shed some light frist. My current boyfriend once lied to me and I forgave him but I am finding it incredibly hard to forget in the way that he wants me to. This is most difficult when it comes to his behaviuor...
A. 14 May 2014: Respect and Trust are two very important things in a relationship. Even if my BF wanted to show me his phone, I wouldn't look through it.. I would only look at the specific thing he is showing me from his phone.
Even if he lied to you once, it does... (read in full...)
A new facebook friend has me wondering if he's cheating!
Q. My boyfriend went out of the country for work for a month. He works with mostly older men and his work is made of consistently of men. He had one weekend off from work and decided to go to a festival Saturday night thats held in one of the cities. ...
A. 15 April 2014: In this case, I would suggest you give him the benefit of the doubt. He is working out of the country, there is time difference and maybe he's tired from work. Give him some space. Maybe send him a text letting him know you're thinking of him and ... (read in full...)
I know that we'd be better together than he is with his current girlfriend, but how I do I handle this?
Q. Long story short, I like my guy friend. We met through a campus organization and have known one another for a year. As I am preparing to enter the executive board of the club this year, we have gotten closer as he is already on board. He is a g...
A. 15 April 2014: It's not for you to say whether they are in a 'good' relationship or not. You need to respect the fact that he has a girlfriend. I'm sure he can tell by signals you've given that you are interested in him... so if he is just as interested in you, he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes my little sister!
Q. I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for the past 5 months.about two weeks ago I've been noticing that my boyfriend has been messing with my little sister. What I mean by messing with her I mean like talking and hanging out with her more it ...
A. 14 April 2014: I would have an open and honest talk with your BF. Tell him how you feel and what your cousin said... ask if that's the case. Then handle it from there. Best of luck!... (read in full...)
Break or no break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and lately we've been having more conflicts than usual. We've been spending a lot of time together these past months and seeing each other almost every day unless we each other have plans. He's usually ...
A. 14 April 2014: A break or break-up will never fix things. So if you are serious about him and your relationship... please do not consider this. You mentioned that he recently received a promotion and needs to spend more time at work. As his GF, I would advise... (read in full...)
LDR--it makes me sad talking to him so much but I don't know how to tell him this
Q. Hi everyone, I am seeking advice from those experienced in long distant relationships. I recently began seeing a guy about a month ago. We had class together and at the end of the quarter, started hanging out. During finals weeks/spring break...
A. 14 April 2014: I'm not understanding why you feel you need to talk to him less, especially when you say you miss him so much. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I would imagine you'd actually look forward to times spent with him on Facetime or the phone. P... (read in full...)
Loud sex noises at boyfriend's house and now I'm afraid to leave the bedroom!
Q. Cringe!!!!! Went out with my boyfriend last night for my birthday and had a few too many drinks. Were staying at his parents for awhile. Came home and had two lengthy sex sessions that involved a little bit of (amateur) BDSM (rope leather and LOUD ...
A. 13 April 2014: Haha.. well I'm sure by now you've left the bedroom! Just pretend nothing happened.. they might not have heard any way.
Next time try to go some where else ;)... (read in full...)
I don't like sleeping over.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My sister has recommended this site to me because she's been on before. I really hope you can help me :) I am a 28 year old woman and I'm having an issue with the fact I hate staying at my boyfriend's house. I have never liked...
A. 13 April 2014: I can actually relate to how you feel. When I was with my ex, I didn't enjoy sharing a bed with him. Half of the reason was because he had a snoring problem and I could never get a good night's sleep when we slept together. The other half of the ... (read in full...)
I've caught LDR boyfriend lying. Should I just end it?
Q. I've been dating a guy for 6 months and the entire relationship has been long distance. I met him through friends last year while on vacation in his state and we talked for months online before I flew there to spend a week with him. For the m...
A. 13 April 2014: Trust is the most important factor in a LDR. His ex is his ex for a reason... and if he wanted to get back with her, he wouldn't be with you. So, you really need to give him some space if you want this to work out. Both him and yourself need to ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex boyfriend get mad about me being with someone else and then assume I would tell my boyfriend about him?
Q. Recently my ex boyfriend started calling and texting me. He found out I've been talking to another guy. The new guy is in the army. I'm happy being with the army guy. Its just that my ex boyfriend is acting like doesn't like me being with someone ...
A. 11 April 2014: Maybe he is not over you yet, maybe he's jealous, maybe because he can't be with you he doesn't want anyone else to be with you... there can be lots of reasons. But, does it matter? I'd just tell your ex that you are happy in your current ... (read in full...)
Why would he say I act strange and weird when I'm hanging out with my husband's friends?
Q. Hello. I am so confused, and I really hope to gain some insight. I have never had an issue with my husband hanging out with his friends. In fact, I think it's good for him. However, there are times I feel like I should be included with hanging out ...
A. 11 April 2014: You may want to get clarification from your husband as to what were you doing that his friend or he thinks that you're acting weird? Maybe once you know what the 'acts' are, then you can either explain or work on it.
Best of luck!... (read in full...)
Return it or wear it?
Q. My boyfriend got me a solid rose gold bangle for my birthday. It's simple, thin band that's beautiful. It's exactly my style. Only problem is that I have tiny wrists and big hands and it sits a little uncomfortable on my arm. Rubs against my wrist ...
A. 11 April 2014: I say go with him to pick out a new one! This way, he will know what to get you in the future and you both can pick out a new bracelet together!... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to feel less useless if my mother shouts at me and criticizes me all the time?
Q. I've decided I am going to try to get counselling because I feel very horribly about myself because my mother is very harsh on me and treats me like everything that goes wrong is my fault. She snaps at me all of the time when nothing has happ...
A. 11 April 2014: I would suggest writing a letter to her to tell her how you feel. I find that when writing an email, letter, or even texting, we are able to calmly write out our thoughts and express our feelings. You can let her know how you've tried and how she is ... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels about me?
Q. How do can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels towards me? I recently broke up with my boyfriend and not on good terms I basically wrote to him on Facebook messages that I was cheating on him and it's best if we called it ...
A. 11 April 2014: He's feeling very upset at your right now... that's what he's feeling. He's upset that you cheated on him (he doesn't know you didn't), and he's upset that you chose to break up with him via FB. I'm not sure if he will ever forgive you.. that rea... (read in full...)
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