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... Send *SA a private message | | | *SA's profile:I'm a professional dreamer and believer.. that love is worth fighting for. I believe in giving chances, especially to the one least worthy. We may be disappointed in the outcome and think we've wasted that chance, but you never know, somewhere down the road, your love may be remembered. Never give up on someone and never give up on a relationship... not until you've tried and tried and tried again.
True love never comes easy... it must be fought for and worked on. Hold on to your dreams and believe in love... it will take you far!
I've only been a member of this community for about two years. I truly love and appreciate all the members and their insight. This place is awesome!
When I first joined this community I was heart broken over a guy who chose to cut contact with me over something silly. Thanks to a special member, ShareBear, who stayed with me every step of the way, I was able to get over the heart break and love myself again.
Now, when I have a chance, I come back to help with questions and from time to time post a question of my own too! |
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How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?
Q. How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...
A. 27 July 2015: Well since it was legit for you to open his emails to check bank statements, then it was legit that you saw his email about his past/background. Why not just bring it up directly and ask him? Another thing you need to ask yourself is, IF what you... (read in full...)
He wouldn't go public with our relationship so I ended it. Did I make the right decision?
Q. He says his marriage is ended and they have both moved on but he wont go public with our relationship or remove his "married to... [her name]" Facebook status. Did I do the right thing ending it after giving him the ultimatum remove the status and ...
A. 27 July 2015: Thanks for the update, OP. So you've been together for 8 months yet he hasn't officially signed the divorce papers? Well then I suggest you leave this guy immediately. You should not have even started this relationship. Anyone who is serious ... (read in full...)
My fiance disrespected my family. Should I give him a second chance?
Q. I have cried my eyes out tonight. My fiance of 3 years disrespected me and my family. I'm in disbelief and denial. Here is the story. We are in LDR right now, sometimes the frustration is too much and mostly from his part. He has done a lot for m...
A. 27 July 2015: What he said is indeed hurtful and out of character. I suggest to give yourself time and him time to calm down. Then talk about the situation again. He most likely had a bad day or something must have happened that he reacted so poorly. Try to ... (read in full...)
How long should it take him to call me if he is interested?
Q. Hi. Your views would be appreciated. I came across a guy I met a few years ago on Facebook last night ( we met breifly at a band audition but no time to talk or meet properly) on the 'People you might know' bit. It turns out we have a mutual freind. ...
A. 27 July 2015: It's hard to say because you don't know if he is actively pursuing someone else. Just because his status on Facebook is single doesn't always mean he is single.
I think the number one sign is that when you gave him your number, he didn't retu... (read in full...)
How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?
Q. How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...
A. 27 July 2015: It is quite dramatic to say that if he doesn't give you the answers your're seeking then you're moving on. He has every right to be mad about that statement. A marriage should be a lasting vow and not something taken so lightly.
As for you snoo... (read in full...)
Were you successful in forgetting the person you had an emotional affair with? How long did it take you and what did you have to do to get over it?
Q. Were you successful in forgetting the person you had an emotional affair with? How long did it take you and what did you have to do to get over it? (esp. for those who are unsure of their feelings towards their spouse/partners to begin with). ...
A. 27 July 2015: I've never experience this... but know someone who did. It really depends on whether you and your significant other is on good terms or not. 1. If the relationship you are in is fine and going smoothly, yet you just met someone and fell for them. T... (read in full...)
I'm cancelling dates because I'm afraid of a broken heart
Q. I work in m-pesa. There's this frequent customer of mine who i have known for four months as a client and even gave him my phone number. One fine day he spilled the bin and claimed that he has feelings for me, in a way i believed him and i was so ...
A. 27 July 2015: Unfortunately, no one will be able to avoid a broken heart at least once in their lifetime. A broken heart may not always mean that he will mistreat you, it can mean that you have a certain expectation and he can't meet it.
Love is a risk.. but ... (read in full...)
My obsessing/infatuation is making me miserable. How can I stop?
Q. I have a problem with infatuation/obsession that is making me miserable. Every time I meet a girl that I like it's like a thunder bolt hits me. From the first date I become completely infatuated and can't stop thinking about the person. I am afr...
A. 27 July 2015: I'm not quite sure what is the best solution to your problem because I see more serious issues than just being infatuated with a girl. First and foremost, it is unhealthy to depend on alcohol to 'numb' your feelings for her. Do you drink regula... (read in full...)
Did potential date over react to my question
Q. i joined a dating site a few month ago and have been chatting to a guy for a couple of month. everything is going well and we plan on meeting this week. we have since exchanged phone numbers and have emailed each other a couple of pictures and when ...
A. 27 July 2015: First, if after talking to him for a few months and he still gives you a bad vibe or you don't trust him, then I'd say go with your gut feeling and meet someone else. If you are just being so very paranoid, then I suggest you try to meet people i... (read in full...)
He wouldn't go public with our relationship so I ended it. Did I make the right decision?
Q. He says his marriage is ended and they have both moved on but he wont go public with our relationship or remove his "married to... [her name]" Facebook status. Did I do the right thing ending it after giving him the ultimatum remove the status and ...
A. 27 July 2015: First, I will agree that he is in the wrong. He is not respecting you or your relationship by continuing his status on Facebook as 'Married to...' Now, as his girlfriend, you can make the demand for him to remove his status and delete everythin... (read in full...)
I've been scarred from previous relationship and think of ex though I don't want her back
Q. I split up with my ex a year ago and have only started to get intimate with someone new but I keep getting very emotional being with the new person. I don't know why! I really, really like this new girl but I keep thinking about my ex and how bad ...
A. 24 July 2015: This is because you are not over your ex. Doesn't mean that you necessarily want to get back together with your ex.. but just there are emotions and feelings you have not fully processed. This takes time.. a lot of time.
You started a new rela... (read in full...)
He hasn't officially asked me to be his girlfriend. Are things are on the right track?
Q. I have been seeing this amazing man. He is one of the best men I've ever dated. For the two months we have been seeing each other, his intentions always seemed clear to me and I never pressured him or forced anything out of him. We've met each ...
A. 21 July 2015: Simple solution - just hint it. Or tell him that he needs to ask you.
My boyfriend and I are in a LDR... last year we talked about eventually moving in together. I told him right out, I want a good speech, kinda like a proposal of marriage but him ... (read in full...)
Now my Bf doesn't want to talk. My parents don't want me to date. Any solutions to my dating problems?
Q. Hi everyone, so my boyfriend and I want to hang out.. The problem is that my parents are really old fashioned and don't approve of me having a boyfriend.. So I have hide it from them and when I hang out I have to add some story to my plans to hang...
A. 21 July 2015: Don't worry.. if he really likes you, he will get over it. He will understand that you are trying your best to be with him, even if that means going out of the way.. if he is not able to do that for you, then is he worth you fighting for?
He is angr... (read in full...)
How can I let go of these guilt feelings when I didn't do anything wrong?
Q. I was in a relationship for about a year and a half with a guy who ended up moving across the country for a job. We broke up due to the strain a long distance relationship caused on both of us. Before we were in a relationship, he felt it was his ...
A. 21 July 2015: If this is bothering you so much.. I would take that lesson and do something about it. Before you two decide to get back into the relationship, suggest that in this 'new' relationship, the both of you will not discuss who you've been with during t... (read in full...)
I feel he's not the man I thought he was. Should I still travel to meet up with him?
Q. So I have been talking to a guy I met on a date site for 3 years now. We live over 2000 miles apart. We always tried to make plans to finally see one another in person but they never came through for one reason or another. He skyped with me once and ...
A. 21 July 2015: hhhmmm.. let me share my story with you and see if you see any resemblance. My boyfriend and I met on a chat site.. after talking to him for a few weeks, it was clear he had feelings for me. It was easy for me to talk to him and see us in a relation... (read in full...)
Do I leave him....or stay? Or breakup and choose the other boy?
Q. My boyfriend started to like someone else and he told me and I've been so hurt and the question is so we stay together? But there's more... We keep almost breaking up then seconds later we tell each other we miss each other. He loves me and he's sto...
A. 21 July 2015: It is easy to go from one relationship to another because there is security of always having someone there. I know you are young, and may be difficult for you to detach yourself from BOTH guys, take time alone to clear your mind and think about wh... (read in full...)
We broke up. Why is he so keen on me talking to him?
Q. He knew he wanted to break up with me but requested a break. I ended up breaking up with him and he did not put up a fight. This was in may. He keeps coming back and at first I just said I do not want to be friends. I do not want to talk. Leave ...
A. 21 July 2015: It's all.. yea, we broke up but I want to see if she still misses me, if she still thinks of me, if she will talk to me again. It's all personality and psychology. I doubt he really wants to get back together with you or he will put more action into ... (read in full...)
Why does he want all this time alone? Am I being controlling over this?
Q. This really bothers me. We have been going out for awhile and we spend a lot of time together. Over the last couple of weeks he seems to go more and more often out by himself to the bar. I know he needs time alone and stuff, but it is so forei...
A. 21 July 2015: I understand how you feel because at times my boyfriend is like that too. Well, first of all, you need to recognize that how you choose to unwind most likely is NOT how he chooses to unwind. I don't believe he is doing something wrong behind y... (read in full...)
How can I stop worrying about the future?
Q. How can I stop worrying about the future? I graduated with a 2:1 degree last November but in a subject that I don’t want to do anymore and won’t help me get a well paid job (Film). I have goals I want to achieve in the future, me and my boyfriend...
A. 21 July 2015: Have you tried signing up with Job Agencies? You have a degree, so shouldn't be hard to find some work. Job agencies can place you at jobs in different fields so you get the exposure to different companies and positions. Then you can decide which ... (read in full...)
Do I have any future with this man? Can he be helped? A relationship without sexual love and intimacy is not something I could live with
Q. Hello there! I am a 25 year old woman dating, for 3 months, a 36 year old man who I absolutely adore. We're very much into each other. He is kind, charming, chivalrous, gentle, strong-minded....everything one could want in a man. The only iss...
A. 21 July 2015: His medical condition is not his fault or anything you can fix for him. You can be supportive and accompany him to see the doctors and through counseling if needed, but you cannot fix his problem.
Sexual love and intimacy is VERY IMPORTANT in a rela... (read in full...)
My relationship is making me feel unconscious, mentally foggy, and extremely unhappy
Q. I think my relationship is making me feel unconscious, mentally foggy, and unhappy and just out right not myself anymore. I have been with my partner for 2.5 years and things were great in the beginning. I thought we had the same vision in l...
A. 21 July 2015: I'm sorry to say, but when I read your post what I got was that he is very dependent and needy. He is very insecure. That is why he is clinging to you like he is. His insecurity also manifests itself in his abuse and putting his friends first. It's ... (read in full...)
I want to date, but I feel stuck in an previous relationship
Q. I was in a relationship for about 2 and a half years. We never really fought, but I never felt he was serious or dedicated. I broke up with him once for a lack of dedication (felt like I was putting in 80% while he put in 20%), got together again, ...
A. 21 July 2015: Honestly, are you over thinking this a bit? Has he done anything to try to get you back or just allowed you to come and go into his life as you please? If this guy was really serious about you and wants to be with you, he will want to BE WITH YOU. ... (read in full...)
Is More Communication Really The Key To Keeping Our Long Distance Relationship Exciting?
Q. We've discussed how we want our long distance: I stated I don't want tooo much communication (eg. no more than once a week. Maybe 2 weeks even. Or even once a month). He stated he didn't want to use social media like whatsapp. Our reas...
A. 21 July 2015: I suggest do whatever seems natural at the moment. If you miss him, you should feel free to message him to let him know.. vice versa. I don't agree that too muchcommunication will hurt the relationship. Actually I believe in the contrary, the more... (read in full...)
I'm 30 and never been kissed
Q. I am 30 years old and I have never been kissed or been on a date. I feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed because of that. People my age have families and here I am, wondering what kissing feels like, like a 13 year old child. My question is, should ...
A. 20 July 2015: In this day and age, most have already had their first sexual experience by the age of 18. My boyfriend told me that guys see it as being very very lucky to be able to find a girlfriend who is still a virgin at the age of 20.
Don't take it as a nega... (read in full...)
My boyfriend took up with another woman two weeks after he dumped me
Q. My boyfriend of 3.5 yeas left me in March this year saying that he no longer loved me as we argued too much and didn't get on. I was devastated as he was stepdad to my 5 year old child as well as my partner. He wouldn't even consider a break or a ...
A. 20 July 2015: To be honest, there was probably something wrong with the relationship prior to him suggesting breakup. Do you remember the arguments or feeling that he has 'left the relationship' before the breakup? He most likely removed himself from the... (read in full...)
I don't understand the lack of sex or French kissing
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 month. At the start he made huge efforts coming to pick me up after work, pop around to my house by surprise and come on to me for sex. Now 4 month down the line we rarely have sex and the excuse he us...
A. 20 July 2015: At 4 months into your relationship, you should still very passionate about each other.
Maybe he is stressed at work or as he said, too tired. I suggest you take the initiative. If you want to French Kiss, initiate it. If you want passion and sex,... (read in full...)
Breaking up was not my choice. Do I tell my current Bf that I have feelings for my ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am so confused and would really appreciate any advice. I am currently in a relationship with a really amazing guy. He's kind and funny and treats me the utmost respect. And my parents like him, which is a great bonus. But there is ...
A. 17 July 2015: Agree with everyone here... what you are doing is unfair to your current boyfriend. He doesn't deserve this.
Take some time to be alone to process this ex of your's, Once you are completely over the breakup, THEN meet someone new to start a new rela... (read in full...)
How can I possibly start fun and interesting conversations with my boyfriend?
Q. Hi, So I'm in a relationship and we both seem to be in it for the long term. We used to be super awkward around each other and didn't know what to say. We've gotten a lot better at talking and coming up with conversation but right now we are...
A. 17 July 2015: First, I would suggest going on in person dates - movies, park, meals, etc.
When on the phone, I would suggest playing 20 questions. Either ask true or false questions, or what .... do you like, or what if you were.... what would you do type of ques... (read in full...)
Anyone who's ever reconnected with an ex? Is it possible to fall back in love with an old flame?
Q. Is it possible to fall back in love with an old flame? We first started dating years ago. He wanted to concentrate on his career. I wanted more commitment. We split as we wanted different things. I have met up with him once or twice over the...
A. 17 July 2015: To be honest, it varies from case to case and person to person on whether getting back with an old flame works or not. In your case I would strongly advise against it. Reason being you have a family now. You chose to have this family, you need to ... (read in full...)
What can I do? My Boyfriend's obsession with hot girls on Facebook causing problems
Q. So this is more of a rant than a question, but I would love to hear some other peoples' opinions or similar experiences to mine. I'm 25 years old and my 34-year-old boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. I know, it's a young relationsh...
A. 15 July 2015: I drive by the Facebook campus every morning on my way to work... and I smile to myself every time I see the thumbs up sign in front of their campus.
I wonder how many couples had fights and even broken up because of this 'LIKE" that Facebook crea... (read in full...)
I know we can NEVER be together.. but how do I emotionally detach myself?
Q. How do you detach yourself from someone you know you can NEVER be with? There's this guy I've kind of fallen for and there's no chance of it going anywhere other than friendship so how can I pull away without him really knowing I'm doing so. If he ...
A. 15 July 2015: I'm going to advise differently. Why can't you stay in contact and be friends? Clearly you are not ready to let go... forcing yourself to walk away and cut all contact will hurt and destroy you more. You know.. and we know that you don't want t... (read in full...)
I am almost certain my boyfriend is back in touch with his ex, but he won't admit it. How can I know for sure?
Q. I have a strong gut feeling that my boyfriend is in touch with his ex the last couple of days through Facebook. He admitted that he looked up her profile yesterday but He has denied talking to her but I'm 90% sure because I trust my gut feelings ...
A. 15 July 2015: There isn't a sure way to find out if they messaged on FB unless you go into his FB Messenger to check. If it bothers you that your boyfriend contacts his ex, then simply tell him that you don't want him to contact her or even look her up. If he ag... (read in full...)
My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 15 July 2015: Well... either he's weird or he's trying to 'test' you. Asians guys are known to be very protective of their sisters. Maybe he thinks that by having this 'cool guy talk' with you about sex and Asian women that you will talk about his sister. ... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend both had a drunken kiss with other people. However, now he is ignoring me completely. How do I deal with his double standards?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. My boyfriend, a few months ago, made out with a girl for like a minute, and he told me about it and regretted it so much, and I ended up forgiving him. A couple weeks ago, I made out with a guy, ...
A. 15 July 2015: I used to ask my boyfriend if it's true that when you are drunk you are more likely to make out with the opposite sex. Because it got me worrying, because he likes to go clubbing and drinking, but I don't. So I often have this wild wild image of... (read in full...)
Should I see him before I leave? And should I text him when I arrive at the destination?
Q. I met with this guy at work and we dated like 4 times. I slept with him after a month.Since we both working in the same airlines, we took an advantage and went on a trip. He became sick on the 2nd day and i took care of him. He appreciated and ...
A. 11 June 2015: I think you've posted here before... In all honesty, I would just wait for him to make the move. He KNOWS when you will be leaving.. IF he wants to see you, he will contact you, which I feel he probably will contact you last minute for one last sex... (read in full...)
My Bf discovered I was flirting with guys on Tinder.So we broke up. How can I convince my now ex-Bf he is the only one for me?
Q. My long term bf has found out Ive been harmlessly flirting with guys on tinder without wanting to meet them. It was just harmless. We had a bust up over me going on dating sites and we were broken up for for a month. I never wanted anybody else...
A. 11 June 2015: You ask: "How can I make him see and convince him he's the one and only?" You can by your actions. Unfortunately your actions on Tinder have only shown him the opposite of what you stated. Maybe you should take some time to think about WHY you find... (read in full...)
I foolishly let him go, realized my mistake but now he says the feelings he had are gone. I want him back!
Q. I desperately need help to get the love of my life back. About 3 years ago we started dating, just casually at first but it became something more. After about a year he wanted to set up home with me, see me constantly and just generally have mor...
A. 11 June 2015: Love and being together has to be of mutual consent.
He already expressed that he currently doesn't feel the same for you. You need to respect that. Just as he respected your decision to break up with him to concentrate on work.
If you truly lo... (read in full...)
My friend says he's a controlling freak! He ended things cause I went dancing!
Q. My ex boyfriend (as of today) and I have dating for four months. But we argued over two things: my overzealous commitment to my family and my going out. I'm always working, always. I'm 23 and just two years ago, worked three jobs at once. Now I'm ...
A. 8 June 2015: Why are you begging to see him?? Well, I do think that he was a bit over dramatic with the break up. Seems you both are in the early stages of your relationship and need some time to get to know each other and understand each other better. Do you... (read in full...)
Should I try to resolve this or go easy on her? She continues to talk online with friends when I phone her to talk to her.
Q. Hello guys, A small problem,it's like we talk on the phone at night and what she does is while talking to me on the phone she stays online on whatsapp chatting with her friends. I tell her to go offline but she doesn't. Telling me that she's talkin...
A. 7 June 2015: Are you in a Long Distance Relationship with this girl?
Do you both talk on the phone A LOT?
Is she a friend or girlfriend?
My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and we talk on the phone A LOT. We talk on the phone while drivin... (read in full...)
I understand that he was unwell but why is he treating me in this way?
Q. So I went on a trip with my coworker who I met 1.5 months ago. We both have free flight benefits and i slept with him the week before we went on a vacation, like after our 5th date. I wanted to know him better and I really like him and he told me ...
A. 1 June 2015: It can be many things. Maybe the guy isn't feeling as committed to you yet. You both are not GF/BF.. just dating and getting to know each other. So you can't really expect the same level of attention or interest as if you both had sparks and are i... (read in full...)
Should I let the urge to contact my ex boyfriend just pass?
Q. Its been 7 months since the last time we spoke.We were on and off for few years because the distance was a huge factor since neither of us was ready to move. We live 4 hours apart and it was too much not being able to see each other whenever we ...
A. 1 June 2015: This is something that you just need to let go. Do not contact your ex. You are healing, don't move back wards by contacting him again. You are not ready to be friends yet. You may end up causing more stress for yourself and also for them.
... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex's girlfriend that we made out and had oral sex?
Q. I was recently in my ex's hometown and we hung out even though he has a girlfriend. He called me as soon as I got to my hotel and we had drinks. Within two hours we were making out, and fooling around (oral sex, boob sucking, dirty talk) he wanted ...
A. 26 May 2015: WHY would you want to tell his girlfriend what you and him did?
If you cared, you wouldn't have done whaf you did with him.
I would just leave it. Don't ever contact your ex again! Move on with your life. I'm sure there are other men who you can ... (read in full...)
I asked my crush if he had someone and he said no but his facebook shows otherwise. Do I let him know?
Q. I asked my crush months ago, did he have a gf, wife etc he said no, well I go on facebook and see a pic of him and his g/f (based off the comments, its his g/f)....dated 12/17/2014......now as of now, me and him are still talking and getting to know ...
A. 26 May 2015: Well... it may be that they've already broken up.. The picture was dated 6 months ago.
Why not send him a friend request on Facebook? It's natural to be Facebook friends since you are both on friendly terms. Then once added, you can ask him.
Or... (read in full...)
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