Is he taking it slow, or messing me about?
Q. i've been on a couple of dates with a guy - i really like him. we're both in our 30's. i met him online and after some wonderful correspondence we started going on dates. he's everything i'm looking for and we have a lot in common. when we're ...
A. 27 April 2009: Something is holding this guy back.What do you know of his home life?Is he seeing only you or is he also seeing others considering you met online?Is the ex girlfriend still hovering in the background?You need to carefully quiz him a little bit next ... (read in full...)
I feel rejected and am getting really depressed about it
Q. This probably sounds really stupid. But, I feel really rejected. I feel like nobody evr wants me around, and that everyone is always plotting against me, and giving me bad school marks on purpose, because they don't like me. I don't really get on w...
A. 27 April 2009: Reading your comments is like reading about myself 30 years ago.What you lack is self confidence. Write out a list of all your good points and remind yourself of them everyday. Look at other people, are they really all that wonderful? I can assure ... (read in full...)
A YEAR and I'm still not over him. Please help me on new ways to try?
Q. Hi, i need help. I am so love sick. I pine for the man that i love. We were together for 6 years. My heart was his the moment i 1st saw him. For me i could never love another the way that i love him. It consumes me. He does love me but not in the ...
A. 27 April 2009: Time is the greatest healer. I know, I've been where you are now,once in my twenties and again in my fifties (which I didn't expect).It took me between 4 to 5 years to get over each of those.The process was painful for each and I found the thing ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any ideas what she could think about me?
Q. Hi, I'm a bit confused about a girl I met this year, and whether she is actually interested in me or not. Basically I met her last autumn, we hit it off great and had loads in common. I was really excited after meeting her as it was the first ti...
A. 26 April 2009: Take the bull by the horns and just ask her out. At worst she will say no but at least you'll then know where you stand and you can stop worrying about her. If she says yes then you can take it from there. She's probrably wondering why you've not ... (read in full...)
My married boss wants to take me to dinner and to his beach house.
Q. I think my married boss likes me. He wants to take me to dinner and to his beach house. I would normally think this is wierd and way wrong but he has also said his intentions were just to be friends but he also said I cant tell anyone that we are ...
A. 26 April 2009: Quite simply .... DON'T GO! Consider all the other answers, every one of them is correct. Refuse him politely, hold onto your job and just get on with your work.... (read in full...)
My bf still texts and calls his ex-wife and denies it. What do I do?
Q. my boyfriend hasn't been divorced too long. They had no kids. We have had ongoing arguments about how they call each other about minor things and how it bothered me so I thought it had stopped. He told her there was no need for contact unle...
A. 10 April 2009: He's not got over his marriage - it's as simple as that, and everytime you query him about things I'm afraid you're weakening your relationship with him. You either grin and bear it by taking a back seat, or you get out. A lot of men take a long ... (read in full...)
Is my marriage dead?
Q. Hi I have been married for 26 years.We hardly talk ,and sleep in seperate rooms.Last month I asked him to leave we both have slight health problems and I dont think the atmosphere helps either of us.We dont argue .my Daughter contacted him and he ...
A. 10 April 2009: In what way did you miss him when he left? Were you weeping buckets or was it just that you are so used to having him around? You both seem to have got in a terrible rut.Don't stay together just because it's all you know.I'm 56 and been on my own ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of a sexless marriage and a woman who doesn't love me at all.
Q. My marriage has been falling apart for years now. The biggest cause is that I caught my wife having an affair 8 years ago and still have trust issues because I feel she didn't do what it takes to regain my trust. Although she said she has no othe...
A. 4 April 2009: You cannot go on as you are - I've been there and yes it does make life tense. Sit down with your wife and tell her that for you your marriage is over. Tell her you would move out if you could but at present it's not possible. Tell her you now ... (read in full...)
Single and losing hope. Any advice?
Q. I have been single for about the past 2 years and I hate every second of it. I have been rejected by at least 50 women and I am at my breaking point. I don't want to approach anyone anymore because I know that I will just be rejected. I can't ...
A. 15 September 2008: You need to get to know women as friends first and girlfriends second. Instant chat ups rarely work. The women need to get to know you and make their own judgements. Join a dancing class like Salsa, French Jive, -where there are plenty of women. ... (read in full...)
How do we make him stop bringing us down?
Q. hey. so i have this friend. well he's one of my best friends actually. and he pretty much thinks he's so perfect and everyone else is a mess. like every day he tells me i look a mess and i'm so sensitive so it really gets to me and i get sad. and he ...
A. 13 September 2008: A person who criticises others and puts them down is one who lacks self esteem and has an inferiority complex. They have to do that to make themselves 'look good'. They are usually very jealous of the person they are criticising. Therefore don't ... (read in full...)
I interviewed her for a job, does she seem interested in me? And if so, how do I proceed?
Q. Hello to all! A young lady applied for a job at a small school I run a few days ago. The job is about 5 hours but during the interview there seemed to be an instant attraction between us. I call her later to clarify stuff on the CV and she...
A. 13 September 2008: Employ somebody else for the 5 hours you obviously need and don't mix buisness with pleasure. However, if you would like to see this lady again why not suggest to her that she would be welcome to come into your school to help out on a voluntary ... (read in full...)
I would like a girlfriend, but I find it so hard to go out meeting people, I seem destined to stay alone forever.
Q. Hi DearCupid I'm having problems at the moment. I always seem to be lonely and on my own. I have always been shy and nervous of people. As such I have issues communicating with people and never know how to talk properly to people. I have never had...
A. 12 September 2008: I'm not sure which country you live in but if they have walking or rambling groups for young people try one of those. All you have to do is walk! Somebody will start talking to you, and the good thing is that you're walking along so you don't have ... (read in full...)
I am at a cross roads in my life. I am having problems with my wife of 7 years. She is 15 years older than me.
Q. I am at a cross roads in my life. I am having problems with my wife of 7 years. She is 15 years older and I moved from another country to be with her. We have similar interests and hopes and all that, and even now we get on really well. Recently...
A. 12 September 2008: You need to sit down and have a really good talk and I think she really needs to listen to what you want. From what you say it seems that you have done most of the giving and she has done most of the taking. It would be a mistake for you to retire ... (read in full...)
He ejaculated on my hand, I touched myself when it dried. Am I pregnant or am I stressed?
Q. I have been with my bf for 2 months and i gave him a hand job. he cumed on my hand it dried then i touch the top of my vagina but not near my hole. im missing my period and im really worried im not even a teen yet...
A. 12 September 2008: I can assure you that you will definitely not be pregnant from what you say you have done. You have probrably missed, or delayed, a period from being anxious and worried about it all.... (read in full...)
I met a man on holiday recently but he says he wants to keep it "platonic". Could he like me?
Q. I met a man of about aged 55ish fairly recently on holiday. He stood by a couple he met in the hotel also next to me and he said "I wish I was better looking and didnt look like I do" (I liked him) and realised that comment was for my benefit ...
A. 4 July 2008: This man was fishing for compliments and was hoping you would say something back to him on the lines of that there was nothing wrong with his looks. But you didn't, so he thought you weren't interested. (I'm not sure how the jumping into bed bit ... (read in full...)
An affair that I didn't want!
Q. I am married, I have a 27 year old disabled daughter and 4 other healthy grown children. I am VERY vulnerable. I have been "slightly" pursued, asked "if you ever need to talk, I am here" This man oversees a financial aspect of my disabled daughter. ...
A. 1 June 2008: It is very understandable why you turned to this man, especially so as your husband does not support his daughter as he should. We are all frail human beings yearning for love and approval from others. Opportunity presented itself and you took it. ... (read in full...)
Falling for someone else..
Q. 4 and a 1/2 years ago we moved house and I was very happy. When we met the neighbours I thought nothing of it. Then one day the neighbour came round to fix the fence. I was standing in the kitchen and turned around and he was staring in the ...
A. 31 May 2008: Effectively he has already rejecetd you by not replying. Don't waste your time. I've done similar things myself in the past and all you end up doing is upsetting yourself. You would be better off by throwing his telephone number away and moving ... (read in full...)
How do you feel when you fall in love?
Q. How do you feel when you fall in love? Do you feel sweaty, nervous, excited, overwhelmed? When someone says to you that they romantically love you, do you think they truly mean it? Romantic love is quite complex. It is the feeling in your brain that ...
A. 31 May 2008: Being in love is when you are so keen on somebody that you can't wait to see them. When you are with them everything becomes magic, even the most mundane of things becomes magic. However, this is not to be confused with infatuation which may start ... (read in full...)
I ended my affair with the family friend but he still pursues me! I'm afraid our infidelity will come out!
Q. I cheated on my husband with a family friend. Husband does not know.I broke it off, but he won't let me be. He is persuing the family friendship in an effort to stay close to me. He doesn't care whether our spouses find out. We each have three kids. ...
A. 31 May 2008: Further to my other reply - think carefully about telling your husband as other people suggest. My sister had an affair, admitted it to her husband and now he makes her life hell. Although he is still with her in body, he's not there in in spirit ... (read in full...)
I ended my affair with the family friend but he still pursues me! I'm afraid our infidelity will come out!
Q. I cheated on my husband with a family friend. Husband does not know.I broke it off, but he won't let me be. He is persuing the family friendship in an effort to stay close to me. He doesn't care whether our spouses find out. We each have three kids. ...
A. 28 May 2008: You've got yourself in a big mess here but I don't think it's wise to tell your husband, it will only make things worse. You may have to continue meeting this man as a sort of compromise for him, but keep it on a platonic level . Probrably not ideal ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or am I imagining it?
Q. i really like this guy, and i am looking for signs that he likes me too. i think he does but im scared i am imagining it just because i like him. he is a friendly with my ex so i cant just go on up and ask him, as its too soon my ex still wants me...
A. 22 May 2008: Lucky you, he's clearly interested but he's just being cautious because of your boyfriend. He probrably doesn't want to end up looking a fool if you go back to your ex. When the opportunity presents itself just let him know your feelings about your ... (read in full...)
I moved in with my boyfriend and now my parents hate me!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for three years. He seriously means everything, and this past year we both moved away to college. The good thing is that our colleges are only 15 minutes away from each other, however we still drive to see each other ...
A. 21 May 2008: You're parents won't hate you. They are just disappointed. This is not what they wanted for you. They wanted you to follow the traditional path of going to college, getting a job, meeting a boy and then settling down - and now this has happened! ... (read in full...)
We've been dating three years yet his ex is still living in his house!
Q. I've been dating this man for almost 3 months now. His ex is still living in his house. He says she won't leave, she pays no rent, no bills, yet has a decent job. They have no kids together. He keeps saying she will be leaving soon, but the ...
A. 21 May 2008: I am in the same age bracket as you and have just come out of a relationship like yours - the ex wife who won't leave! The ex wife who's sapping him dry financially and emotionally and he won't do a thing about it! Get out, walk away and leave him ... (read in full...)
His confession about his feelings for me have created a problem for me!
Q. One of my parent’s closest friends (we’ll call him ‘X’)and I enjoy a mutual hobby which has the blessing of his wife and my boyfriend since neither of them enjoy this hobby. (Additionally, my ex-boyfriend was their son. I severed all contact with ...
A. 17 May 2008: I would give X a wide berth. He fancies you and he's trying to posses you and control you. You may even have to give up the hobby for a while. Also, I would have a chat to your parents - you're all mature people - and put them in the picture about ... (read in full...)
She refuses to give me a chance, but she's all I can think about!
Q. I love her more than anything in the world and yet she refuses to give me a chance. I keep asking her to give me a chance but she keeps saying she's not attracted to me. But she's all I can think about and she is driving me crazy, why can't she ...
A. 17 May 2008: Unfortunately she's not interested. I am afraid you will have to leave her alone. However, you are very young and you have your whole future ahead of you. It may just be that if you still know this girl in a few years time that you may get together ... (read in full...)
Do you think he was flattered by my compliment?
Q. This guy and I are attracted to each other at work. We are starting to get a bit flirty thru words and actions. Today I said to him that I would miss his sexy voice over the weekend. Do you think he was flattered by my compliment? Is there any ...
A. 17 May 2008: I'm sure he was highly flattered by your compliment. You must have really boosted his ego!... (read in full...)
My dad constantly fights with his girlfriend! Do adults fight all the time? I feel the only mature person here...
Q. Hi, well my parents are divorced, and each of them have a new bf or gf. My mums perfectly fine, and I live with her mostly, but whenever I visit my dad, all he and his gf do is argue. Now I know adults argue all the time, but what I dont like is how ...
A. 10 May 2008: No, adults do not argue all the time. It seems to me that your dad and his partner may be a bit incompatible. Unfortunately there is not a lot that either you or your brother can do about it. You can only really speak to your dad about it and let ... (read in full...)
I've heard she likes me but not from a reliable source, do I pursue her?
Q. I have a very good friend who I would like to pursue a relationship with, but am unsure how to proceed, and if to proceed at all - I do not want to lose her friendship by making a clumsy attempt at romance, but I have had feelings for her for a long ...
A. 10 May 2008: Yes, she's interested and probrably bursting for you to make a move. Ask her out on a date.... (read in full...)
I met a widower on a cruise and he was upset I didn't have sex with him! How can I get back on his "friendship book"?
Q. I am 54 just returned from a cruise and "met" a man on his own he wasnt looking for anything really but we palled up a bit and did some dancing but nothing romantic for 14 daysw at the end we just kissed on the cheeks and he said see you sometime...
A. 10 May 2008: You did exactly the right thing. He is being a bit insensitive and a bit childish and he probrably realises it. He's also probrably lacking in self esteem because he has to let you know that he's attractive and flirting with all the women. He's ... (read in full...)
My 15-month-old daugher is refusing to eat solids food!
Q. I have a 15 month old daughter who for the last 2 or so weeks refuses to eat any and all solids, with the exception of her formula. I tried putting her on homo milk but she gets severely constipated from it. Luckily her formula has more nutrients ...
A. 10 May 2008: You are getting yourself in a bit of a state here! Slow down! Babies all grow up at their own rate and they will let you know naturally when they are ready for the next stage. My sons are only 18 months apart (now grown up) and i remember I wanted ... (read in full...)
I am madly in love with a married colleague and I want him for me at any cost!
Q. I am married. It was love marriage. Recently i started working in an insurance company and there i met a guy named Rajan. He very warm, friendly and funny guy and i attracted towards him and fell in love with him. I'm madly in love with him ...
A. 9 May 2008: Are you sure you're both not infatuated by the sheer magic of it all? It could be a completely different story if you each left your families. There would be all sorts of problems and i think you may find that the magic will wear off very quickly ... (read in full...)
I'm too embarrassed to tell my mum about my period
Q. i'm 12 years old and just started my period about a week ago. i haven't told my mum because it's to embarassing. i have tried a few times but can't bring myself to say it. also i have two older sisters who would make fun of me about it. what should ...
A. 9 May 2008: All you have to say to your mum is this, " Mum I think I've started" and she'll know what you mean and take it from there. You may just be busy doing something else while you say this so you don't have to look your mum straight in the eye. Don't ... (read in full...)
There's one thing about him that weirds me out! He's 32 and lives in his parents' basement.
Q. I went out with this guy for the first time on the weekend. He's cute,really nice and sweet, we have things in common and I think we had a good time. I felt very comfortable with him, coversation was good and it was really nice. I would like to see ...
A. 5 May 2008: I don't know why you are so worried about this. It clearly works out very well financially for his family to have him living at the house. I'm in my fifties and I had a partner who lived with his mother until he was 50 and she was in her seventies ... (read in full...)
I want us to live together but how can that happen if he is reluctant to even see me?? He says he feels pressurised, I think he is not used to being in a serious relation!
Q. I've been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now. He's 23 and i'm 22. I met him online and we met almost instantly despite me living in Manchester and him in London. 8 Months in to the relationship I decided to move down here to be with him. ...
A. 5 May 2008: I'm afraid you are putting far too much pressure on this young man. If you chase somebody,they run away - it's instinct. That's what you're doing. Try hard to build a life of your own, don't just depend on him for everything. Try to imagine how you ... (read in full...)
I don't think he went all the way, but he said he did cum. Now I don't know what to do. Help!
Q. I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time yesteday, i don't think he went all the way but he said he did cum. I'm so worried i don't know what to do! I can't tell my parents, and i don't know if i can go doctor's without them? HELP!...
A. 4 May 2008: If you are worried about pregnancy you can only wait until your next period. If that is over a week late you can go to a chemist and buy a pregnancy testing kit. If that were to prove positive then you must go to a doctor and seek help. It would ... (read in full...)
Deep down inside, I know he isn't the one for me. Advice on how to let go?
Q. I can't let go of my boyfriend. Deep down inside i know he isn't for me other than the fact everyone tells me, i still ignore them and get hurt over and over again. I mean i never asked him for anything during our four year relationship and he never ...
A. 4 May 2008: You need to join some sort of club or take up some type of sport or interest where you will be surrounded by other people. If you're not sporty perhaps you may prefer something like dancing classes or even ice skating. It should take your mind off ... (read in full...)
I feel there are three people in this marrage: my husband, I, the wife and his ex girlfriend! Am I overreacting?
Q. I have been married for over a year now. my husband has become distant in our relationship. I recently found a bill with calls and texts to one number on a daily basis, ranging from one up to six times a day for the last 3 months. I confronted my h...
A. 3 May 2008: You are not over reacting or being unreasonable at all. Your husband, however, is being very unreasonable. He's enjoying the attention from this woman. He's a married man and he is putting his marriage in jeapordy. He must stop contacting her. If ... (read in full...)
My best friend's girlfriend likes me and I like her...can anyone shed some light on this?
Q. My best friends girlfriend and i like each other. My best friend has been seeing this girl for a bout 3 months. i only met her 2 months ago. when i met her she seemed nice and i was purely trying to get to know her as a friend with my friends ...
A. 2 May 2008: You clearly think a lot of your best friend. Hard as it may be I would stand back and let his relationship run its course with this girl. It doesn't seem like it's going to last very long if she's spending her time texting you etc. If she's not sure ... (read in full...)
Was my husband only flirting with her?
Q. My husband went up north got drunk and danced with all the ladies two weeks ago. This past weekend we were in the same bar and the 22 year old among those ladies was very unfriendly to me he had his arm around her and said something in to her ear ...
A. 2 May 2008: This girl has no right to be challenging you. He's your husband and she's bang out of order. It's obvious to me that he has said derogatory things about you to her. This is why she feels she has the upper hand. This man needs sorting out. If you ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon for a new relationship?
Q. My boyfriend just broke up with after 8 years, he was treating me like dirt towards the end when he felt like it. I got talking to this other guy and he seems nice. It is finished with me and my ex just 2 weeks, should i meet up with the other guy?...
A. 2 May 2008: Yes, meet up with the other guy, there's no harm in it. Just keep him as a friend for a while - you don't have to jump into a love affair with him - just take one step at a time. As time goes by you will know whether you are then ready for a ... (read in full...)
I have been married for 2 years but have never stopped loving my son's father. Any advice?
Q. I have been married for almost 2 yrs now, but I have never really stop loving my sons father. We talk everyday I feel more connected to him than my husband. I have always felt very comfortable with him and to this day still can talk to him abou...
A. 2 May 2008: If things are not working with your husband you should get out of the marriage. You're only yong and you've got a long life ahead of you. You're not being fair to him or to yourself. If you feel the way you feel about your ex you should go back to ... (read in full...)
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