A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 54 just returned from a cruise and "met" a man on his own he wasnt looking for anything really but we palled up a bit and did some dancingbut nothing romantic for 14 daysw at the end we just kissed on the cheeks and he said see you sometime -as soon as he got back he e amiled me and said thanks for your company and then said he was coming to London for a course and did I want to meet up afterwards for an hour or so for a quick bite to eat-which we did but all he did was talk about how he has been flirting all day on the course with the women who went. I felt quite insulted I KNOW I am not his girl friend but why ask me to go I e mailed him and told him I was offended then we had a slanging match through the e mails and now he says he will reply to my e mails but he never wants to see me again.I do reealise I because of being lonely put out too many vibes but he could have given me a chance and said look Im NOT looking for..... BUT I will see you now and again when I am in the area if I want as long as I know the score NOT just chop my head off there and then. he lsot his wife 18 months ago is he still affected by this or should he have started to recover? I know he only wanted me as a friend and nothing else but he knew I liked him and I found his talking of the flirting all the time a bit insensitive. I wonder if my mistake was NOT offering him any sex on the cruise I did want to but I didnt offer it to him but do women have to offer sex sometimes I think its nice to wait and if you meet up again then perhaps. I do think that cruise ships can sometimes be a bit of gossip shops as everyone is confined even on large ships and I suppose things could go round or get distorted-maybe he was worried about this or just didnt plain fancy me but then I wish he hadnt e mailed me and asked me for a meal. Because I e mailed him and told him off (I know I shouldnt have) but I was still sore from not having sex with him on the ship and now wish I hadhow can I get back into his friendship book even if it is only platonic?jenny
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (11 May 2008):
 Why do you want to be friends with a guy who clearly disrespects you? You were right not to have sex with him, and should stick to your guns.
But even if you did go out to dinner with him he may expect you to sleep with him, sadly there are guys out there who think like him and think you have to reward him with sex. You should never feel obliged to sleep with any guy, its your body, your life and your business. I guess he misses the physical side of a relationship, as his wife is no longer with him to give him that comfort.
Some men are born flirts. thats the way life is. I think you should move on and find a guy who wants you for yourself and not for a quick fumble.
A
female
reader, malvern + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
 You did exactly the right thing. He is being a bit insensitive and a bit childish and he probrably realises it. He's also probrably lacking in self esteem because he has to let you know that he's attractive and flirting with all the women. He's clearly not recovered from losing his wife. I'm the same age as you and been on my own 8 years now and I can tell you it's a mine field out there. You say you are lonely. Join a singles social organisation that has walks, dances,holidays, activities and you'll meet loads of people. Otherwise, email this man again and apologise and say you are not ready to rush into things but you value his friendship and would like to see him again.
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