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*alvern

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I have moved on. But some of my friends from the past have not. How do people handle a situation like this?

Q.   Hi there, I am a women in my early 30's. For the past 3 years I have made significant positive change in my life in every way......career, education, health etc. The changes have been gradual and have involved moving away from my hometown to ...

A.   25 April 2013: Yes, I've experienced similar. I'm twice your age and I have learned that it is best to turn your back on negative people because they will always want to 'pull you down'. If they approach you then obviously be courteous but don't encourage their ... (read in full...)

Going on holiday without my boyfriend - should I tell him the truth about where I'm going?

Q.   Am i being selfish going on holiday without my boyfriend? I'm going to London for three days next week with my mum. My boyfriend doesn't even know yet! When my boyfriend gets paid, he goes to see his friends for about three days. Sometimes less, ...

A.   25 April 2013: I really don't know why you're so bothered about this. You cannot live in each others pockets all the time, you both have your own lives. Tell him exactly where you are going and who you are going with. Your boyfriend probably managed to live the ... (read in full...)

18 months dating and still he does not want to be intimate? How do I raise this issue without pushing him, nor seeming needy?

Q.   So, I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and this is my first real relationship, but I'm concerned because he doesn't seem to want to be intimate. Generally, I kiss him more than he kisses me, but when I've brought ...

A.   24 April 2013: I think he's got some kind of a secret. Have you ever seen him naked? It's possible he may be one of those men whose genitals have never developed properly. Or, he may have had some kind of bad experience when he was younger. 18 months is a long ... (read in full...)

Would it be a good idea to message this girl even if I messed things up?

Q.   This may not be such a big deal and people will most likely say I should just forget it and keep searching but I hate when I mess up and I really feel as if I missed a possible opportunity for something that could have been great. I've been doin...

A.   24 April 2013: Write to her again, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. It may just be that she's busy right now and hasn't had time to get back to you. If she sent her photos she must be interested.... (read in full...)

I have competition for this man. Should I just give up?

Q.   Why do I feel this way? Is it the right thing to do? I've liked this guy for months now. He works at gym and whenever I'd look up he'd be staring at me. So I decided to train with him. I've lost alot of weight and I look better and all...

A.   8 April 2013: Firstly, is this guy actually available? He may already have a girlfriend which might explain why he's not made a move. If you're the shy type then I wouldn't bother asking him out as I'm sure it would make you feel uncomfortable. Concentrate on ... (read in full...)

After a bad dating experience I don't trust easily. How can I found out more about someone I am dating?

Q.   Hey everyone, I am 24 years old,about 4 years ago I met a guy at a place I go to jog every morning..we clicked and we started dating,he met my family,friends..but its only later I found out that he was married and has a child I was shocked,...

A.   8 April 2013: I would suggest getting to know him as a friend before allowing any romance/sex into the friendship. See him several times but don't allow anything more than a quick kiss until you feel more comfortable about him. Ask lots of questions about his ... (read in full...)

Why are college boys so confusing?

Q.   Ok so, history does repeat itself! I am a college freshman girl with a good head on my shoulders, great grades, athletic, outgoing, independent, career focused and definitely not just looking for a husband. That said, I like the emotional intimacy ...

A.   8 April 2013: Yes I think they are confused with what they want so don't take their behaviour personally. Are these young men in the same age group as you because I have noticed that the majority of males under the age of 23yrs are emotionally immature? They're ... (read in full...)

Completely hung up on my ex, how do I deal with this?

Q.   So for the last few years I've been pretty hung up on my ex (let's call her Kate). I haven't spoken to her since we broke up over 3 years ago, but I can't get her out of my head, even now. I have a girl I'm seeing now (let's call her Amy) and she...

A.   27 March 2013: There is nothing wrong with you. It is perfectly normal to continue loving and thinking about somebody long after a relationship breaks up. The greatest healer is time. Eventually you will get over it. You are doing the right thing in dating ... (read in full...)

Any tips for dating single fathers?

Q.   Hi. I've started dating an older single dad; I'm 25 and he's 35. He's got 3 kids and they seem to like me so far, and they're great kids. Just really want to know if anyone has any tips for dating single dads. I really do like him and do want thi...

A.   27 March 2013: I've been in both situations with having my own children - now grown up - as well as dating somebody with children. No matter what happens the children will always come first so you must try to understand that. The main thing is never, never, ... (read in full...)

He had a private lap dance at his stag and now I'm having serious doubts about marrying him!

Q.   I am getting married next week and I am having serious doubts. We have been to together 8 years (since we were 18) engaged for 5 and we have 2 children. We had a pretty much perfect relationship until his stag. About a week after he returned...

A.   27 March 2013: You're over reacting. It was a stag party most probably organised by friends. Things go on that we women don't even want to know about. Your partner would have felt and looked like a real idiot saying ' my girlfriend won't allow me to have a lap ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend broke up with me when she is grieving! Help!

Q.   Hi, I have read lots of different stories on here, and I feel like id like to vent, and also be able to have some people to talk to and for you all to give me advice, I would like to keep you all updated on every stage, and will come back regul...

A.   25 March 2013: Your poor girlfriend is clearly traumatised by her fathers accident and now she no longer knows where she should be. She will feel desperately that she ought to be with him - but he's her father and her future doesn't lie with him. However it must ... (read in full...)

Is jealousy a way of showing that you care?

Q.   Is jealousy a way of showing that you care? I'm just wondering if acting jealous is really someones way of showing you that they care about you, and your well being. My bf is not jealous at all, he doesn't mind who I am friends with, who I talk...

A.   25 March 2013: The fact that he is not jealous shows that you have met a confident trusting man, and that's a good thing. Jealous people are peole who are insecure and quite often have low self esteem.... (read in full...)

Should I keep seeing this guy? He doesn't contact me for 4 days and then addresses me by my friend's name?

Q.   Not sure if I should see this guy again. (Or maybe I expect too much) I have been seeing this guy for about a month now. It is very casual. He has shown interest in me. He would text every two days or so which is fine with me. This week he didn't ...

A.   22 March 2013: He's not particularly interested in you I'm sorry to say. I wouldn't waste anymore time on him. Go out and find yourself a guy who will appreciate you.... (read in full...)

Advice for dating a younger man?

Q.   I have the opportunity to date a 26 year old man. The problem is that I'm 41. I've never dated anyone that young before. He is hot, sexy and we get along really well together. I'm very attracted to him. He really wants to date me, but I'm being ...

A.   22 March 2013: Don't go there! In your heart you know it's going to a disaster eventually. My son is his age and I'd be mortified if he turned up with a 41yr old woman. I don't think his parents would be welcoming you with open arms either. You are better ... (read in full...)

Wife said she needed space. That was 4 years ago! Do I wait?

Q.   This is me and my wifes 2nd marriage, we've been together 22 years. married 13. when we met i was unfaithful, a couple of times freshly out of my first marriage by 3-5 months, kept going back sex only.\ now those transgressions are here was of 5...

A.   22 March 2013: I think your wife is afraid to let go of you and the security she has had within marriage. This is hers, and your, second marriage and she's obviously worried that things are not working out again for her. She feels trapped. From the way you talk... (read in full...)

If you were in my shoes, would you stay?

Q.   i've been seeing a girl for about four months now. i'm very happy with her and we have a very healthy relationship together. she tells me she definitely sees a future with me and i thought i did, too. my problem is that she told me today that sh...

A.   22 March 2013: She probrably had this idea in her head long before she met you. Let her go and be there for her when she returns. Finishing your relationship with her just because she's going away is a bit drastic and I'm sure she'd be very upset if she knew ... (read in full...)

He has become 'best friends' with a female co-worker, they text all the time and go to lunch together. If I get upset about it he calls me insecure, but don't I have a right to be in this situation?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for six years and he has always had the same job.. Well recently he has started talking about a coworker all the time telling me how great she is. He goes to lunches with her alone and they text back and forth ...

A.   21 March 2013: Sorry, I think my previous reply went off without me finishing it.... What I was trying to say is...don't trust your husband and this woman one inch. You have every right to be upset and angry and if he doesn't sort himself out he's going to risk ... (read in full...)

He has become 'best friends' with a female co-worker, they text all the time and go to lunch together. If I get upset about it he calls me insecure, but don't I have a right to be in this situation?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for six years and he has always had the same job.. Well recently he has started talking about a coworker all the time telling me how great she is. He goes to lunches with her alone and they text back and forth ...

A.   21 March 2013: Oh dear, I had all this until 14 years ago when my husband and I finally split up. I put up with it for 15yrs of marriage, the ever present woman at work who clearly fancied him, stuck her nose in our lives, planned a surprise party after work for ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boyfriend his lateness is driving me mad?

Q.   Hello all I think my bf has issues with time management. He's a lovely guy and he tries his best to spend time with me despite his busy schedule. Sometimes when he says he would call at a certain time, he ends up calling an hour later. I wish he ...

A.   21 March 2013: It's the way he is, just like you are the way you are. It's incredibly annoying to us punctual people. My partner is always late as well. I now make 'time allowances', so if he says a certain time for meeting etc. then I mentally add at least ... (read in full...)

We have grown apart in our marriage. Should I leave? Have others done it and came out ok?

Q.   I am 38. I have been married for 14 years together 17. I have 3 children. I love my husband, I care for him but I'm not in love with him like I should be. I feel no attraction to him, have no desire and cannot give him affection. He is a good ...

A.   21 March 2013: I've been in your situation and my marriage broke up after about 17yrs when I was 46. Life is not wonderful as a single woman but it does have it moments. You long for affection and passion but there is no guarantee you're going to get it. There ... (read in full...)

Do I tell her? And what do I say?

Q.   Hi guys, I'm in abit of a dilemma and really need some advice.... I have seen a girl around, I dont really know her that well but I've spoken to her a few times when I've seen her out. She's an artist like me and when we've spoken, there se...

A.   21 March 2013: What you do is this - you continue to chat to her, as you have been doing already, about art and songs and anything else you care to chat about. Build up a friendship with her. A lot of good romances blossom from friendships. If she's interested ... (read in full...)

I cheated with a married family friend and now feel crushed that he has ended things

Q.   I made the bad decision to cheat on my husband but I don't know what makes me feel worse... The fact that I cheated or that the other guy broke it off because he doesn't want to hurt his wife. We are all very close and have been friends for years. ...

A.   20 March 2013: You were tempted and made a mistake and you got hurt. Unfortunately you're just going to have to bear your hurt and guilt in silence. I don't think the man involved will ever tell his wife. It is also best that you don't tell your husband and most ... (read in full...)

My dilemma is, should I remain friends, talk, text and see each other, to rebuild a trust. Or tell her it's too hard and stop trying?

Q.   My first post here. I've been searching the web to get some peace of mind for some months now. Still at it. So here's my story. I'll try and summarize as best as I can. My ex g/f is 5 years my senior. We met 1 year ago and we dated for 5 month...

A.   20 March 2013: Hi again! You really need some time to yourself and so does she. Texting each other all the time isn't really a good idea, it sort of makes the relationship mundane if that's the right word to use. Years ago none of us had mobile phones so when we ... (read in full...)

My dilemma is, should I remain friends, talk, text and see each other, to rebuild a trust. Or tell her it's too hard and stop trying?

Q.   My first post here. I've been searching the web to get some peace of mind for some months now. Still at it. So here's my story. I'll try and summarize as best as I can. My ex g/f is 5 years my senior. We met 1 year ago and we dated for 5 month...

A.   19 March 2013: Your girlfriend is still in love with her ex. Her ex doesn't appear to feel the same about her but she's hanging in there 'just in case' there's a chance with him. Sadly you are her second choice. She clearly thinks the world of you but she's ... (read in full...)

Attractive young woman got drunk, made overt moves on me and kissed my wife. What to do?

Q.   TLDR; Attractive young woman got drunk, made overt moves on me and kissed my wife. What to do? This past weekend, my wife and I attended a party with a few friends as we try to do every other weekend. There has been a recent addition to ou...

A.   19 March 2013: Let it go this once but keep an eye on her behaviour next time you go to one of your parties. If it happens again then you're really going to have to address the issue with her again and possibly consider stopping going to these parties for a ... (read in full...)

Should I completely drop it or is it possible that he will come around?

Q.   hey everyone... well this is very short and i honestly want to know your honest opinions and what you guys think.. anyways I have this guy friend who I have been talking to for a while.. we met in the begining of the school year in August an...

A.   19 March 2013: Your boyfriends life seems to have moved on, and for reasons best known to himself he's moved on without you. It is understandably very hurtful and frustrating for you that you don't know the reason. The fact is that if he really wanted to contact ... (read in full...)

I am 3 months pregnant but my boyfriend pulled that "I am scared" crap. What's the next step?

Q.   I am confused wether I am being lied to or not by the guy Ive been seeing for 6 mnths and am now 3 mnths pregnant too. When i told him i was pregnant he was happy but we had an argument after being in each others company for too long as we have both ...

A.   19 March 2013: Things have moved far too fast here. After six monthe together you barely know each other .... and now a baby on the way .... any man would be scared of that, it's a massive responsibility. I think you have to put yourself in the frame of mind that ... (read in full...)

Guy friend keeps staring at me - does he like me?

Q.   I'm at university, and I met this guy through mutual friends before we broke up for Christmas last year. I've noticed he's always staring at me (to the point that it's embarrassing), but, when I talk to him, it seems awkward sometimes although he's ...

A.   18 March 2013: It seems to me, from everything you say about this guy, that he's used to girls fancying him or possibly throwing themselves at him. I think he's intrigued that you don't do this and he's rather enjoying the thrill of it all. It's the thrill of ... (read in full...)

None of my relationships have lasted a year. Is there something wrong with me?

Q.   Is anyone else's love life this bad? I've had 6 relationships, 2 only lasted a few months and 1 of them 2 was rebound. The others lasted 8 months even though I knew something wasn't right. None of them lasted a year. I am 26, first relationship was ...

A.   11 March 2013: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It just happens that the ones you have met have turned out to be unsuitable for you. There's a lot of truth in that saying,'You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince!'. Stop ... (read in full...)

Do I look for sexual pleasure elsewhere since my wife has no interest?

Q.   We are both 60, very active and coming up to 30 years of marriage but we haven't had sex for three to four months. She has become very sore down below and despite visits to the doctor things are not getting better. Understandably perhaps her ...

A.   11 March 2013: I have three main suggestions to offer. First one is for your wife to use a lubricant. Second one is for you to use a condom, which of course is already lubricated. The third suggestion is, whilst using one of the above, for your wife to be on ... (read in full...)

I really want to break up with this guy but my mom says it will be a mistake!

Q.   Basically, I started dating my best friend 2 weeks ago, and he's already saying that he loves me etc, I feel so suffocated, I've told him and he listens, for about an hour, and then goes back to saying it. :/ This guy is amazing, I know he'd do a...

A.   10 March 2013: Although your mother has your best interest at heart you are clearly not ready for this relationship. You are going to have to be more assertive with this friend of yours and tell him you want to remain as things were before and that you are just ... (read in full...)

I feel suffocated in this relationship! I don't know what to do

Q.   I have been dating my bf for 6 months now, when i first met him he had lost his gf of 7 years due to terminal illness, he was a total mess and pretty depressed obviously. I made it my mission to somehow bring him back to "life" and went through a ...

A.   1 March 2013: It sounds to me like your boyfriend needs some expert counselling. There needs to be a third party who can point out to him the effect his behaviour is having upon you and to point him in the right direction. I think deep down you want 'out' but ... (read in full...)

How will I ever get a boyfriend with my shyness and home situation?

Q.   I'm a shy 17 year old girl and I have never had a boyfriend. Over the past year, I have gained a little bit of confidence and have started talking to boys more. I like this guy at college but i know that if we ever spoke I would get all nervous ...

A.   1 March 2013: When I was your age I was equally as shy as you and thought that everybody else was so confident. As I got older I realised that actually a lot of boys are not as confident as I thought they were and were going through the same awkward feelings ... (read in full...)

Should I accept being the messenger between my divorced parents or should I just put my foot down and refuse to get involved? And how do I deal with my fathers behavior?

Q.   I'm going crazy. My parents divorced (not officially yet) a month ago, and they both expect me to be the messenger between them. When they separated, my mom told me some things that I felt were very hurtful, so I didn't feel the need to talk to ...

A.   28 February 2013: Your parents should not be using you as their 'go between'. They both seem pretty stressed out, especially your dad who, reading between the lines, does not appear to be coping with the situation very well at all. This is the reason he is getting ... (read in full...)

Asked a girl out said she's seeing someone else should I go for it anyways?

Q.   Got this girls number had previously meet her and already decided that i liked her. Been texting a little bit asked her out on a date and she said she might be seeing someone else. I dont think their in a relationship just been out on a date. can i ...

A.   28 February 2013: Try texting her again to ask if maybe she's changed her mind and would like to go out on a date with you. There's no harm in giving it another go. If she makes up an excuse for not accepting then it's best if you leave her alone.... (read in full...)

Did I taint my husband's image? He is cross that I confronted the married woman who's been sending him love texts

Q.   I received love texts in my hubby's phone which were replies to a married woman's txts. The last one states that 'soon we shall be together darling' When i asked him he denied and said he has no affair with this particular woman. We decided to bl...

A.   26 February 2013: There's no smoke without fire. It's quite possible that this woman has 'set her sights' on your husband and he is flattered by it, as opposed to him having instigated the whole thing initially. This happened to me and my (now ex) husband until I ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend stood me up on valentines day and now says she's too busy to make up the date?

Q.   my girlfriend stood me up on valentines day saying she needed to study for exams. i had made some pretty big plans and felt really horrible. at first I didn't tell her about this but she realized something was bothering me so i finally told her...

A.   26 February 2013: Sadly what your girlfriend is really trying to say is that she's had enough of your relationship. The best thing to do is don't contact her. Don't ring her, don't text her, don't email her etc. etc. Leave it up to her to make the next move. If ... (read in full...)

He leaves me goes to ex..rinse, repeat. How can I trust him?

Q.   i feel so lost. i was married and very unhappy, i met a guy at work and at first site it was as if i stopped breathing, i instantly loved him! butterflies fireworks everything! it signified the end of my.marriage as i felt if i was in love with my ...

A.   26 February 2013: You know what - stop wasting your time with this man! He's messing you around big time! You deserve better than this. As the saying goes ' a leopard never changes its spots'. He will continue to make you unhappy and instead of crying over him ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's female friend is always at his house and no one cares about my feelings

Q.   Every week for the past 3 months, whenever I go to my boyfriend's mums there is this girl there. This girl has openly admitted to liking my boyfriend for the past 5 years and purely doesn't like me on the bases I'm going out with him and she isn't. ...

A.   26 February 2013: What a strange situation. Who is this girl? Is she a family friend or a neighbour? It seems to me that your boyfriends mother is being very insensitive towards your feelings. It's quite possible she finds the girl useful in helping out with, or ... (read in full...)

Help!!! I want to be MORE than just friends with her...

Q.   I'm 34, only recently discovered I'm an introvert. I'm not much outgoing since I truly hate loud groups of people. I'm not a very quick speaker, or overly witty. But i'm a kind guy and I know who I am and I know I'll make a great boyfriend for ...

A.   28 October 2012: I think this girl genuinely likes you but not in a romantic sort of way. Keep her as a friend but also continue to look around for somebody who wants more than friendship. There are a lot of girls out there who don't want extrovert loud mouth ... (read in full...)

Internet Online Dating and serious relationships - isn't it just truly a waste of time?

Q.   Hi everyone, I am so disillusioned with internet dating. Over the past few years I have joined a few dating websites hoping that at some point I will meet a man, who I get along with, have similar interests/humour, share the same values in life,...

A.   26 October 2012: Internet dating - it's all about separating the wheat from the chaff! I've met a lovely man through internet dating. We've been together 3. He's actually widowed which is better in some respects as there is no ex wife lurking in the background. ... (read in full...)

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