Internet Online Dating and serious relationships - isn't it just truly a waste of time?
Q. Hi everyone, I am so disillusioned with internet dating. Over the past few years I have joined a few dating websites hoping that at some point I will meet a man, who I get along with, have similar interests/humour, share the same values in life,...
A. 26 October 2012: Internet dating - it's all about separating the wheat from the chaff! I've met a lovely man through internet dating. We've been together 3. He's actually widowed which is better in some respects as there is no ex wife lurking in the background. ... (read in full...)
I didn't cheat. How do I convince her? She will not talk to me, so what can I do?
Q. My girlfriend of two years left me because she thinks I cheated on her But I didn't ... I tried to talk to her, to tell her the truth, but she will not talk to me at all. Seh has blocked me from her phone ... I'm soo. Soo in love with her my hear...
A. 26 October 2012: If you really didn't cheat on her, and there's no other reason you can think of as to why she won't talk to you, then I suggest you call in the help of a third party such as her best friend (or other person she knows well). Explain the situation to ... (read in full...)
Why would an almost stranger go through my bag in these circumstances?
Q. This is a very little matter indeed, but I come to you to find out (or confirm) if it is weird. I'm working with a family - a Father and daughter... they have asked me to adapt their daughter's book that she wrote when she was 6 into a play. Alr...
A. 26 October 2012: I've no idea why this man should have done this but the incident has at least taught you one thing and that is to be wary of him. Never leave anything lying around when he's in the vicinity. It may have been a one off situation but if he does ... (read in full...)
She belittles me in public. Should I stay friends with her?
Q. My girl friend is from a richer home than me. i'm broke she can't assist me financially. When ever we are out for an outing and we happen to get into one dissagreement or the other,she tends to talk too recklessly and shout at me on the top of he...
A. 26 October 2012: She's not a friend if she does this to you. People aren't stupid and they will notice her behaviour towards you. This will ultimately make her appear as a very bitchy person, so she's doing herself no favours. It's best to get friendly with other ... (read in full...)
Would it be best to wait? New relationship: Is there really anytime where sex is to soon?
Q. after having my daughter 5 months ago, and her father leaving me while i was pregnant .. I Finally met someone amazing . He Makes me laugh , has a great personality , extreamly attractive , has a lot of things going for himself There's nothi...
A. 26 October 2012: Very often the best relationships are the ones that started off slow. Meeting somebody new is very exciting and it's easy to get carried away but its far better to refrain from sex as long as you possibly can. Try to wait a while longer, get to ... (read in full...)
Should I wait around for him... or move on?
Q. I am 23 years old and I have two children. A son 3 and a daughter 1. My son's biological father died when he was six months old and my daughter's father has raised him ever since he was little. So that's his Daddy. We had been together for almost f...
A. 24 October 2012: You are very young and I suspect your partner is too. You have had to grow up quickly due to your children and you are clearly a very level headed and capable young lady. Sadly your partner does not posses the same maturity. He's clearly had... (read in full...)
Struggling with my long distance relationship...
Q. I am struggling with a long distance relationship. I adore the guy I am in a relationship with but as a single mother, divorced I feel I miss the contact and emotional closeness when we are apart. We have been together a year and I do most of the ...
A. 24 October 2012: You need to discuss your feelings with your partner and come to some sort of compromise. If you have to do all the chasing then is he really worth bothering about? If a man really wants you he will keep in contact come hell or high water. It seems ... (read in full...)
I cant even find a decent guy for sex! Am I just unlucky, or is this the way its going to be now I'm getting older?
Q. I m in my early 40swith a grown child. I own a small business for many years now and did well for myself. I m not rich by any means, but deffinitely independent. All I m missing is love in my life. I m in good shape, considered to be above aver...
A. 15 October 2012: It's a nightmare out there. I know so many single, attractive women in the 40 plus age group who say exactly the same thing. I was one of them until 3 years ago when I finally met somebody worth meeting. We met on a dating website but you really ... (read in full...)
Even though he is planning to marry me, why do I feel like I am second best? Does the mother of his child have more claim to him?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 2 years with a guy we are so good together. he has a child froma past relationship, he loves her so much, that i fear he might have to choose her/(and of courss the mother) over me.,when it gets to the point, wh...
A. 15 October 2012: This man has chosen to be with YOU. He's not chosen the mother of his daughter. His daughter will always be there, he'll always love her and he may often put her first before you. Most of us have strong bonds with our children. It's one of those ... (read in full...)
Marriage in trouble. But could we get back together? best advice???
Q. Well, my world came tumbling down to earth about 5 weeks ago. I have been married for 8 years, known each other for another 7 or so years earlier, have two boys 8 and 11 with her. We had one break up before we had kids, she met someone at her w...
A. 15 October 2012: Don't let your marriage slip away. It's not wonderful being separated or divorced and that goes for both sexes. Try to get yourself a job no matter how menial you consider it to be in comparison to what you used to do. It's still better than no job ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling unwanted. Can I try again to rekinde our marriage?
Q. My girl rarely sleeps in the bed with me. she falls sleep on the couch damn near everynite. i work a lot so when i come home at nite i want to cuddle. she says im complaining too much , but i'm not im human who like affection. but when thgs ar...
A. 15 October 2012: It seems like the spark and excitement has definitely died for her though I think she still loves you. Try to go back to how you used to be when you first knew each other. Take her out to places. Visit the places you used to go to. Go for walks ... (read in full...)
Wife touched friend inappropriately while drunk. Should I be upset?
Q. Should I be concerned? Two weeks ago we were at a friends house. My wife had been out boating and drinking during the day while I was working. That evening we went to our friend's house and joined 3 other couples for evening cocktails by...
A. 5 October 2012: Yes, I think you should be concerned. You wife is being very unreasonable and if the boot were on the other foot, and it had been you behaving in such a manner, I'm sure there would be all hell to play. You've been remarkably restrained. This was a ... (read in full...)
I'm shy so how do I go up and start talking to a guy?
Q. So I started college 4 weeks ago and I keep seeing this guy that's really attractive, i'm too shy to go up to him and i wouldn't know what to say anyway. How would I get talking to him? ...
A. 5 October 2012: Just smile at him everytime you see him and hold your glance that little second longer than you would do normally. If he doesn't pick up on it at first he soon will do after a few times. I'm sure he'll start smiling back and you can take it from ... (read in full...)
I don't like his behaviour with his close female friends, is this normal or is he in the wrong?
Q. hi i am in a relationship with a guy for past 6 months. he is very sweet and understanding and loves me a lot. the problem is the way he talks with his 2 3 female friends (one of them is his ex but now friends with her).they call each other with ...
A. 5 October 2012: In response to your recent comment - I think his friends are being a little bit naughty about this. They don't want him themselves but at the same time they regard him as their friend/property and don't want his attention taken away from them by a ... (read in full...)
Why do I ask questions knowing I will get hurt? Especially as she didn't cheat on me, it's all about before we met..
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for one year. She is 28 years old and she had an affair with a married man when she was still married few years back. Her then husband was a womanizer and that's when she got involved with this sweet talking ...
A. 5 October 2012: What happened in your girlfriends past had nothing to do with you. What happened in your past had nothing to do with your girlfriend. We can't all live our lives beating ourselves up about something in which we had no involvement. You have to put ... (read in full...)
Married man left his wife for me, but then gave it another go with her without telling me! Was I used?
Q. I became friendly with a married man i met on holiday, we started texting when we got back and ended up teting all day and speaking on the phone when we could. He said he has always been unhappy in his marriage and that he never was sure about ...
A. 5 October 2012: Never get involved with a married man. They've got too much to loose, their wife, their family, their house, their friends, their comfortable lifestyle and routines, their money etc.etc. He genuinely liked you but he wasn't available. Learn and ... (read in full...)
I don't like his behaviour with his close female friends, is this normal or is he in the wrong?
Q. hi i am in a relationship with a guy for past 6 months. he is very sweet and understanding and loves me a lot. the problem is the way he talks with his 2 3 female friends (one of them is his ex but now friends with her).they call each other with ...
A. 5 October 2012: You really need to talk this over with your boyfriend because it clearly makes you feel uncomfortable. Who are the female friends? Has he known them a long time and do they know about you? If so then the chances are there's nothing to worry about. ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband with his best friend (out of revenge for my husband cheating on me) and had a baby which my husband thinks is his. Should I tell him the truth?
Q. I had an affair 2 years ago with my husbands best friend who is also married and got pregnant. I had the affair out of revenge for him cheating on me. Not that its an excuse I know it was still wrong. I know its his baby cause my husband had a ...
A. 5 October 2012: I think that for the sake of your husband, and for the sake of the other wife, it is actually better to say nothing about all this. It may all come out one day but best to say nothing unless you absolutely have to. I know it's very dishonest but ... (read in full...)
What can I do to re-Ignite her passion and show her she is still sexy and hot?
Q. If wife is going through menapause and is affecting our sex life what do I do? I have been pro-active and suggested many things we can do, but she says sex is not that important to her anymore and that sucks. I love my wife, but when she had our...
A. 5 October 2012: Take your wife back to the things that used to turn her on all those years ago. Perhaps it was a day together followed by meal in a restaurant, a long lazy walk together, a visit to a place you always enjoyed going to. In other words, without ... (read in full...)
Will no contact work? To see if we miss each other or are better off ending the relationship? She is resistent to the idea.
Q. Been dating same girl for 4.5 years now. We dont live together and dont have children. Over last 2 years we have grown apart. Today we had a long talk and we both agreed we need time apart from each other. We decided a month of no contact would be...
A. 16 October 2011: Maybe you should just make a complete break. It sounds like your relationship has run its course. If you're not even living together after 4.5 years, or there's no talk of marriage on the horizon, I should think your poor girlfriend is wondering ... (read in full...)
I'm single and I'm obsessing over a married woman. I want to get closer to her. Is this an emotional affair?
Q. A young woman recently transferred to my place of work. She's from another country, and extremely beautiful. I'm a single male in my mid-20s who works on the opposite side of the building. After her first or second week we just hit it off, started ...
A. 16 October 2011: You need to find out what her relationship is like with her husband.Are they happy together?If she's happy with him then she's just playing a game with you while he's away.She'll be highly flattered by your attention and will probrably be ... (read in full...)
He's become distant and has trust issues and it's effecting our relationship. Please I need advice
Q. Ok so i will start from the beginning. I've been dating a guy for the last 10 months, we met at work but due to his job in the forces he has been re-posted for the last 4 months and we have been long distance but still finding time to see eachother. ...
A. 16 October 2011: When somebody has been hurt they tend to put barriers around themselves and become very cautious about their feelings.As their new partner you unfortunately are on the receving end of the backlash from their previous relationship.It's not your ... (read in full...)
I'm shy, how do I know if he likes me or not?
Q. I've recently met this guy who I'm starting to fall for.I'm rather shy and so is he a bit ..So I was wondering, how can you tell if a guy likes you ..I'm not too sure!!!! , I was wondering if anyone can help me out ?What does it mean when a guy ...
A. 19 April 2011: I think he's interested in you and he's trying to get some sort of response from you to indicate to him whether you're interested in him. Men don't waste time being like this just for the hell of it. If you like him then give him a bit of ... (read in full...)
How can I get my daughters boyfriend to pay his way?
Q. Hi, I would really appreciate some advice regarding my daughter's boyfriend. His mum threw him out and he was living with me full time for a while but i couldn't sustain it because I was made redundant and didn't have much money plus I was unwell ...
A. 31 January 2011: Get your financial details together, bills and other outgoings, including food, and show them to your daughter. I did this to my two sons when they thought I was asking them for too much financial contribution towards household expenses. Their ... (read in full...)
Husband is cold fish - no loving cuddles or hugs..
Q. I am not sure what to do about this situation. My husband of 14 years does not (or can not) give any loving cuddles or embraces. I watched my sister and her husband cuddle while visiting at my parents house, I was very envious, and it broke my ...
A. 29 December 2010: It's possible that your husband is from a family of non-huggers. My family are like this. It's also possible that something terrible may have happened to him as a child and he can't talk about it. You could ask him outright if he finds you ... (read in full...)
Flirting/chatting-how much is too much?
Q. Okay the background. I've been married to my wife for 8 years, we've been together for 10. We also work on the same floor at the same employer. Last few years have been rough- we seem to live in our own separate worlds. I'll admit- some of our a...
A. 17 October 2009: Further to my previous answer I think what you and your wife need is a common interest.You need to do something together every week and a very good 'something' is dancing!!'Oh NO' I hear you cry!! Dancing is a big thing in Great Britain, ballroom ... (read in full...)
Flirting/chatting-how much is too much?
Q. Okay the background. I've been married to my wife for 8 years, we've been together for 10. We also work on the same floor at the same employer. Last few years have been rough- we seem to live in our own separate worlds. I'll admit- some of our a...
A. 17 October 2009: So far your wife appears to have done nothing more than flirt.She is looking for a bit of excitement because she feels her life has become dull.It would seem to me that she is feeling unimportant and unwanted by you.When we women were young we had ... (read in full...)
How do you approach a girl while at the gym?
Q. I go to the gym about 5 times a week and lately I've been noticing this girl who always seems to coincide with me in the ab workout section, I'm kinda shy and I just wouldn't know what to say to "break the ice" sometimes she glances my way and ...
A. 23 June 2009: Just smile and say something like "Hi, we always seem to be here at the same time don't we!" or better still ask her an open question (one where she has to give an answer rather than a yes or a no). "How long have you been coming to this gym? .... ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I have a son?
Q. I am in my early 30's, single mother of 8 year old son... My son is not with me since I'm working overseas. I've got my boyfriend through net and we have our wonderful relationship for almost 4 months now. We meet once for he visit where I am. Our ...
A. 23 June 2009: Look you must tell him about your son. Say this " I have something to tell you which up until now I did not think I needed to tell you because our relationship was new and I didn't know we would still be seeing each other for all this time". The ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets on my nerves!
Q. My boyfriend and I havent een together very long and he's already getting on my nerves. He's thinks we need to spend every day together or talking on the phone. When we cant he gets mad at me. For example he went out of town today and it didnt ...
A. 24 May 2009: Your boyfriend is far too possesive, and especially at your age when you should be free as a bird. Start to gradually distance yourself from him by filling your life with other things so you've always got a valid excuse for not seeing him.... (read in full...)
I'm insecured and it's driving my boy away!
Q. And its making my boyfriend of 13 months to nearly give up on me after giving me my last chance to change! I hate to admit it but i get bugged when he goes out with his friends because there might be a girl, i get mad when he talks to a new girl for ...
A. 24 May 2009: Look on the positive side - you've got a boyfriend, he clearly likes you a lot and he's shown he's trustworthy by not flirting with all the other girls. What more do you want? I'm afraid the problem is your own lack of self confidence. Why is he ... (read in full...)
Still a virgin and also, how do I help my friend?
Q. I'm 16 years old nd still a virgin. I've been called romantic and sensitive. Isn't that what all girls like? I can't seem to get a girl. Even if my life depended on it. Help!!!... Also, my friend has a cheating boyfriend. I love her more than any...
A. 24 May 2009: Most people of my age (50 upward) were virgins until their late teens or early twenties so I really wouldn't let it all bother you. It seems to have become the thing to have sex as early as possible these days. It will happen soon enough so stop ... (read in full...)
Trouble at work with an older lady
Q. Why do people think that they can treat you any kind of way because you try to be nice and mature. I work at a place with a lot of imature and low down people. My supervisor is the same age as my mother and and acts more like a 15 year old. Since I ...
A. 23 May 2009: There are three things you can do here. Make a formal complaint to a higher authority such as her manager, make an application to be placed onto another shift or find another job in another company. It's horrible to have to work in a bad ... (read in full...)
Daughter doesn't like my boyfriend at all!
Q. help i'v been seeing jon for nine months after being on my own for almost 2 years. my 17 year old daughter doesn't like him. she says he gets on her nerves and she can't stand him. i can tell this when he comes to my house. she really says ...
A. 23 May 2009: The most important person in all this is your daughter. Don't loose her. You are all she has and she is obviously feeling 'pushed out'. It would be best if your boyfriend didn't stay overnight at your house. Stay in your relationship with him, ... (read in full...)
Should I still pursue my dreams, even though I am thirty years old?
Q. Ever since I had my birthday, something has really been bothering me, and lately, it's been torturing me. I feel like people need to have dreams, because dreams are the things that make life worth living. I don't want to die, but I'm scared to de...
A. 23 May 2009: No way are you too old! I've heard of people changing careers in their forties and even older. You must pursue your dreams or you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it. Go back to college full time if you can afford to. If not then you ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to break my engagement to my parents!
Q. I am 25 and I have been dating a 42 year old man for almost 1 year. I live in a different state then my family and none of them have met him yet. He is the sweetest guy I have ever dated, he is respectful, caring and I love him. He asked me to marry ...
A. 1 May 2009: I would speak to your parents first and tell them about his age while he's not with you. They could feel quite upset when they see him and not be able to handle the situation if you just introduced him without fore warning them.... (read in full...)
He's angry because I have a boyfriend.
Q. i have a bit of a problem with a mate. I was with my new boyf and i was holding hands with him walking down a road. In one of the passing cars one of my friends who saw me. He hasnt talked to me since and storms past me whenever he sees me. I've ...
A. 30 April 2009: Yes, he's jealous. He clearly sees you as his special friend and obviously like you very much. It upsets him to see you with somebody else. It's quite possible that he prefers you to his own girlfriend. You either have to have a talk with him or ... (read in full...)
Help.....Why???
Q. Hi...after 3 years of dating, I feel lost. I don't exactly know what I want from my ex who broke up with me a month ago. This was so sudden that I am so hurt. We have had problems, but I have been the one trying to cater to his ego. He is a ...
A. 30 April 2009: I'm sorry but this man is not right for you. There is a saying 'No man or woman is worth your tears but the one who is won't make you cry'. He is constantly upsetting you for one reason or another. He is very mixed up with many issues and you are ... (read in full...)
Is he taking it slow, or messing me about?
Q. i've been on a couple of dates with a guy - i really like him. we're both in our 30's. i met him online and after some wonderful correspondence we started going on dates. he's everything i'm looking for and we have a lot in common. when we're ...
A. 27 April 2009: Something is holding this guy back.What do you know of his home life?Is he seeing only you or is he also seeing others considering you met online?Is the ex girlfriend still hovering in the background?You need to carefully quiz him a little bit next ... (read in full...)
I feel rejected and am getting really depressed about it
Q. This probably sounds really stupid. But, I feel really rejected. I feel like nobody evr wants me around, and that everyone is always plotting against me, and giving me bad school marks on purpose, because they don't like me. I don't really get on w...
A. 27 April 2009: Reading your comments is like reading about myself 30 years ago.What you lack is self confidence. Write out a list of all your good points and remind yourself of them everyday. Look at other people, are they really all that wonderful? I can assure ... (read in full...)
A YEAR and I'm still not over him. Please help me on new ways to try?
Q. Hi, i need help. I am so love sick. I pine for the man that i love. We were together for 6 years. My heart was his the moment i 1st saw him. For me i could never love another the way that i love him. It consumes me. He does love me but not in the ...
A. 27 April 2009: Time is the greatest healer. I know, I've been where you are now,once in my twenties and again in my fifties (which I didn't expect).It took me between 4 to 5 years to get over each of those.The process was painful for each and I found the thing ... (read in full...)
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