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My bf still texts and calls his ex-wife and denies it. What do I do?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend hasn't been divorced too long.

They had no kids. We have had ongoing arguments about how they call each other about minor things and how it bothered me so I thought it had stopped. He told her there was no need for contact unless an emergency. She still includes herself in his family events but that's a whole different issue.

Anyway, today would have marked their 10 year anniversary. I knew this because we argued once about how he bought a new calendar and noted it still, even though there were divorced and wrote "sorry, 10 years" on the date so I didn't forget.

Anyway, as wrong as it is, i checked his cell and saw that he dialed her work # early this morning and it was about 4 minutes. I confronted him as it's been a trust issue with me for a while. He says a good friend works there as well and he called him, not her.

He said a song came on early this morning and it was something that reminded him of a time he and his friend had so he left it at his work # which coincidently is her # too. Why not call on his cell? Or at home? I dont' think I can beleive that.

Should I take his word or am I being lied to. It was the exact date of their 10 yr so I am having a tough time believing him.

View related questions: anniversary, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

i think he has unresolved feelings with his ex. and he is only just recently divorced, so he is still very much "into" her currently. he is also thinking about the 10 "wasted" years with her.

hard question - are you his rebound girl? I feel that you will be hurt in the long run since he has not fully given her up yet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009):

Dump him. He still has emotional ties to his ex-wife. If he calls her and lies to you about it, that is very bad.

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom + , writes (10 April 2009):

malvern agony auntHe's not got over his marriage - it's as simple as that, and everytime you query him about things I'm afraid you're weakening your relationship with him. You either grin and bear it by taking a back seat, or you get out. A lot of men take a long long time to get over relationships and if the truth be known I don't think it was fair of him to start one with you. I'm sorry to say that you're the ousider in all this and you would actually be better off without him. If he's upsetting you this much then he's not right for you. I once read a very true sentence - 'No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry'.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009):

Sounds like he is not over this girl and he is lying to you. I don't buy that story either. I wouldn't stick around because the trust is not there and you dont want to age yourself over some dummy who still thinks of his ex. Far as her she's probaly loving making you upset. I know she knows he is with you; I don't see him respecting the relationship. You have to decide do you want to keep living under the terms your man is in great contact with his ex girl.

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